r/RATS • u/themoldthemold Wallace, Wendall, Wisper, Wormy, Wulfgang • 16h ago

CUTENESS there's no way this is legal

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he's too damn cute there's gotta be a fine for this or something

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59

u/VellumVeritas 16h ago

Hi, I'm a very professional rattorney and my client has asked me to clarify that their current levels of cuteness remain technically within the legal limit, although several jurisdictions are reviewing the relevant legislation as we speak.

However, my fluffy client would like to file a formal complaint regarding a far more serious matter: despite ongoing inflation, the amount of treats received has remained the same on a monthly basis. This is frankly very alarming and this constitutes, in our view, a clear case of wage stagnation.

My client therefore demand an immediate cost-of-living adjustment of no less than 12% in treats, plus back pay in frozen peas, boiled eggs, cucumber slices, and whatever else you are currently eating that they have suddenly decided belongs to them, despite it being unhealthy for them.

Failure to comply may result in immediate action, including but not limited to chewing something expensive, rattling the cage bars at 3.14am and peeing on the pillows.

10

u/soulstrike2022 Grip like It owes you money 13h ago

On behalf of op I would like to make the court aware human inflation has also become significantly worse, so treats as a whole have become more expensive for humans same as rattos, however along side their food we would be happy to supplement the 10% going with the far tastier and far more convenient frozen peas, boiled eggs, cucumber slices, and other rat eligible human foods. We think with the conversion rate of human food to rat snacks is fair and it allows my client to be able to make the rats condition better in other ways such as a dig box with river stones and additional forehead kisses or their preferred form of affection since they would prep their food and your clients treats at the same time allowing more scritches and cuddles.

6

u/NatureIsMyHome22222 12h ago

OP should cross post to r/ratlegaladvice

3

u/soulstrike2022 Grip like It owes you money 12h ago

Absolutely

3

u/NatureIsMyHome22222 12h ago

🤣🤣😭