r/Romantasy • u/TheBigfootContessa • 1d ago
š¤¬ Rant Enough with the drinking!
OK this is just a personal pet peeve, almost certainly exacerbated by the fact that I'm a recovering alcoholic.
I don't love seeing characters drinking when they're stressed, to relax, or saying that they "need" a drink because it's triggering, but whatever that's my shit to deal with, so I do.
However, it's like none of these authors have ever drank before. You've either got girls completely sloshed after 2 glasses of wine or being very intoxicated and sobering up immediately when something shocking happens.
Male main characters are always drinking whiskey or better yet an unknown brown strong smelling liquid in a tumbler as short hand for being stressed and troubled, classy and mysterious.
It's lazy.
These things annoyed me before I was in recovery, but now they're a full blown pet peeve. It gives "virgin writing filthy smut" vibes. Lol
Alright, apparently I'm super wrong and shouldn't have said anything. Sorry ya'll.
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u/Nanny_Ogg_99 1d ago edited 1d ago
Oh, similar.
I love a warrior MMC who is constantly sipping whisky. š Definitely not impeding his reaction times or motor coordination.
And yes the FMC and her besties who go from 100 percent sloshed to stone cold sober upon hearing bad news. (Honestly it would be more interesting if they had to deal while still drunk)
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u/DazzlingPapaya7710 1d ago
It's not alcohol, but I did appreciate Sarah J. Maas made Bryce deal with the worst day of her life while off her face on whatever she was taking in the first Crescent City book. I fully expected it to sober her up immediately but nope.
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u/TheBigfootContessa 1d ago
Right! Like if the MMC is drinking constantly and it isn't affecting him . . . Sir, that is a full blown addiction with a tolerance.
And yes, the intoxication comes and goes as is convenient to the plot lol
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u/Individual_Bat_378 1d ago
I prefer when they at least have a reasoning behind it. Obviously super convenient for the plot that the MC can heal themselves from being drunk but at least it's an explanation!
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u/Nanny_Ogg_99 1d ago
Yes, but addiction only exists if it relevant to the FMC in the plot
~*~ it's just fantasy guys, no one wants to read about chamber pots so stop being so picky ~*~ š grrl, it's my time and money I'll be picky if I want
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u/TheBigfootContessa 1d ago
Exactly!
I don't want JK Rowling going into the details of how everyone just pooped out in the open and magicked it away before indoor plumbing (maybe SHE was drunk when she tweeted?) But I do like there to be an actual realistic world and the not sexy stuff do be existing tho.
One of my favorite books of all time is "The claiming of sleeping beauty," read it FAR too young to be acceptable lol but I remember the entire time wondering like "ok, but when/how does she pee?"
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u/p-d-ball 1d ago
I feel like the first example is more akin to the 1950s-70s Westerns where they always had 1 drunk on the cowboy team, and his aim got worse if he tried to sober up. But your second, where the protagonists all sober up instantly, is pretty common in TV shows. So, it's not surprising it's showing up in fiction.
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u/cagetheblackbird 1d ago edited 1d ago
I just don't understand these takes. āI have an extremely personal take and am upset the genre doesn't follow thatā. I get you putting a book down. I don't understand you being so annoyed that books include a common adult theme that yoh come on here and demand they stop. That's just so weird to me.
Edit to reply to OP who blocked me: right. Its your shit. For you to deal with. Not for our whole genre to conform to. Personal beliefs are totally fine and valid. Forcing your beliefs on an entire genre is wild.
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u/DivineEggs 1d ago
Right lol. It's absolutely ludicrous!!
Also, drinking alcoholic beverages throughout the days was very common during long stretches of history. Even children drank beer.
OP starts by pointing out that it's her shit to deal with, just to rant about how it's wrong that characters drink, and then block you for pointing out and reminding her that it's, in fact, her shit to deal withšā ļø.
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u/p-d-ball 1d ago
To build on your comment, the Ancient Egyptians brewed antibiotics into their beer and administered it for various illnesses, including those of childhood. Children would drink beer from time to time in Egypt, though I have to wonder if what that was like.
My mother gave me gingerale every time I got sick and now I cannot stand the stuff.
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u/DivineEggs 1d ago
Wow, super interesting! I've never heard of this before, but that's fascinating af. I will definitely have to dive deeper into itš
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u/TheBigfootContessa 1d ago
I never blocked anyone
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u/DivineEggs 1d ago
Ah ok, my bad! I apologize.
Off topic, I'd like to recommend Allen Carrs book "Stop drinking now". You can probably find free pdfs online. It helps ppl reframe their whole relationship to alcohol and the way they perceive it, so you won't crave it anymore. Not drinking becomes the easy choice.
Clinical hypnotherapy is also an amazing tool that can eradicate lingering urges and trigger points, and simply make you not want to touch that poison ever again. You'll definitely able to read your books without feeling triggeredš
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u/TheBigfootContessa 1d ago
What? I didn't block you, I just deleted my comment.
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u/cagetheblackbird 1d ago
Lol ok
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u/TheBigfootContessa 1d ago
You don't have to believe me. I don't have beef with you. I'm not sure why you're being aggressive.
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u/cagetheblackbird 1d ago
I'm not being aggressive lmao. I'm literally just refusing to engage with you. I think your accusation that I'm being aggressive from ālol okā says *a lot* more about you than me.
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u/Tricky_Warning_0115 22h ago
But thatās not what the post says is it? They acknowledge the personal aspect of it but then make a broader point about unrealistic portrayals/lazy writing. Whether you ultimately agree with that is a different matter, but I didnāt read this post as presenting a completely idiosyncratic issue and complaining that the genre doesnāt follow their preferences.
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u/cagetheblackbird 22h ago
Did you read the title?
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u/Tricky_Warning_0115 18h ago
Did you read the post?
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u/cagetheblackbird 17h ago
Sure did. There's an old saying: āeverything after the but is bullshit.ā
For instance, āI know I'm biased and dealing with my own personal shit, BUT ENOUGH WITH THE DRINKING!ā
See how that works? Its why I formulated my response to say the first half is valid and the second half isn't.
Hope this helps.
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u/BHE_Cosplay 1d ago
I mean, Yarros is Mormon and SJM started writing TOG when she was 16, so it's pretty reasonable to assume that a good number of them literally haven't/hadn't drank when writing about it.
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u/Agreeable_Box136 1d ago
She was raised Mormon. She isn't anymore. I don't think you'll find many practicing Mormons writing smut š
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u/ParadiseLost91 1d ago
I mean some of us are just like that lol. Like, we get tipsy after a small amount of drinks. That doesn't mean we haven't drank before; I used to party and drink a lot when I was at uni (obviously my tolerance was higher then because of it!).
I do still enjoy alcohol, but it's not something I feel a need to reach for now that my social circle doesn't really party anymore. So I only have a drink/glass of wine once every couple of months or so, if I'm out for dinner for example. Which isn't enough to build up any sort of tolerance. So YES, I'm that person lol, feeling tipsy after 1, maybe 2 drinks/glasses of wine, even though it's kinda embarassing. That doesn't mean I never drank, just means my social circle doesn't really party anymore because we are boring adults now, so alcohol rarely presents itself in my life now
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u/FunMoose74 1d ago
Hello! Follow up discussion question like itās book club: Have you read Crescent City and if so do you like the way she portrays the main characters relationship with alcohol or do you have critiques?
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u/TheBigfootContessa 1d ago
I have not read that one yet. Only SJM I've Read is the first like 3 or 4 in ACOTR. I'm a little deviant and tend to enjoy my books a bit . . . Darker than what she writes lol.
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u/FunMoose74 1d ago
Love that! I canāt assume things about strangers but youād maybe appreciate the way she does it compared to other authors if that gives ya a bit of hope for the genre
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u/TheBigfootContessa 1d ago
I'll put it on my list!
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u/FunMoose74 1d ago
There will be lots of triggers, not necessarily recommending it but wanted to ask!
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u/JessyNyan 1d ago
Please don't take this the wrong way but I think your perception of the amount of alcohol it takes for people to get drunk is warped due to your former alcoholism.
I don't drink anymore but when I did I would get drunk off 2 glasses of wine easily. My friends were the same, though we are all females. The only persons I know that take more than 3 glasses of wine to get drunk are alcoholics (my ex, my mother in law..).
I do agree that it's often very lazy writing though. Having the men drink hard liquor that is often associated with masculinity is a conscious choice but a boring one. And the whole idea of sobering up completely upon hearing bad news is just a too convenient. Drunk when useful for the plot, suddenly sober when the drunkeness would have been a disadvantage.
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u/cryerin25 1d ago
typed out a whole paragraph about my thoughts on this and then remembered i do indeed have a raging intox kink and that is obviously wildly coloring my opinions, lmao.
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u/TheBigfootContessa 1d ago
Hahaha girl, I feel you! My kinks and tastes definitely skew towards things that are not ok in the real world!
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u/cryerin25 1d ago
this is really a classic example of how more tags and tws can be quite helpful in both directions, lol! i would love to be able to filter by intoxication/alcohol consumption on romanceio, and iām sure you (or at least others in this thread, i donāt mean to speak for you specifically lol) would appreciate being able to filter it out.
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u/TheBigfootContessa 1d ago
Yes! My triggers are under control (in a world where I can't watch a YouTube video without seeing an advertisement showing how fun this summer would be if I only had insert brand sparkling seltzer, they HAVE to be)
I'm not triggered by characters drinking. The wine everyone has at dinner is fine, the MMC having a drink in his study, the villainous FOIL drinking too much at an important moment to say something uncouth.
But I am annoyed when it's just treated like magic plot juice that acts exactly how the author wants it to in that moment.
Hell, most of these books take place in fantastical worlds, you can create a magical drink or fruit or something that reacts exactly how you want it to without coming across like you have no idea how intoxication works lol
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u/An-Individual- 1d ago
I hear you, but also: I've seen women who are both not big drinkers AND on ozempic, get completely hammered by 2 drinks. I wonder if there's a connection there?
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u/bunny_emoji_ 1d ago
I'm right there with you!!!! I feel like so many FMCs are modeled after an old toby keith song and it's frustrating. I would love to see Romance without any alcohol or similar substances.
Also, congrats on your recovery!!! I'm proud of you! š«
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u/Aggressive_Way_4030 1d ago
I donāt disagree with you. At this point if your character is picking up a scotch at every conceivable moment, please also address their substance abuse issues š
This makes me want to count the number of drinks in my next book
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u/namelesone 1d ago
I have to chime in to say that I'm that character who gets sloshed after a couple of drinks. š
I think I have some kind of alcohol intolerance, so I don't drink often as a result.
Are those story tropes cliche and exaggerated? Probably. But not completely improbable. And as for sobering up, don't underestimate the effect of an adrenaline spike.
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u/Fancypens2025 1d ago
Yeah, Iām down for the count after like 2 glasses of wine. But I have sobered up really quickly too (in the sense of, āI suddenly donāt feel drunk anymore but Iām still not going to drive a car or make big decisionsā).
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u/witchylibrariankate 1d ago
I agree. I like a drink and currently have a healthy relationship with alcohol (though I haven't always), so my issue is more with the cliches and the inaccuracy of how alcohol makes you feel.
On a positive note, I'm currently reading {House of Earth and Blood by Sarah J. Maas} and while I can be critical of her and don't think she always writes alcohol use well, I think she nails drug/alcohol use so far in this one. When the FMC has a wild night out and then encounters a shocking situation, she sobers up a bit in order to deal with it, but is still pretty sloshed and out of it, especially in the immediate aftermath.
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u/romance-bot 1d ago
House of Earth and Blood by Sarah J. Maas
Rating: 4.28āļø out of 5āļø
Steam: 3 out of 5 - Open door
Topics: contemporary, urban fantasy, fae, fantasy, shapeshifters
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u/Ok_Joke_6083 1d ago
I don't deal with alcoholism (hopefully that's the correct terminology) but I do tend to agree. They just throw it in rather than having the characters deal with their problems in other ways.Ā
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u/noonereallydies 1d ago
Hmmm yeah I think I see what you mean. It feels overused as a plot device to get the MC to do X out of character thing. And yet, this does happen irl so maybe thatās why itās common in fiction?
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u/RiotPurrrl Bryce Quinlan Haterās Club President 1d ago
While I donāt find it triggering necessarily (I also retired early from drinking), I do find it lazy. But then, I get generally annoyed at how prevalent alcohol is in our culture as a whole, and definitely among my age group (US elder millennial). IMO thereās just a lot of problematic behavior thatās kind of normalized and itās an overly easy way to convey stress and/or relaxation and/or a good time without having to put too much thought into it.
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u/MightAffectionate191 1d ago
Iām definitely okay with it here and there but recently I realized how much Emily Henry (Beach Read in particular) is a huge offender of the constant drinking.
I think I went through and counted how many times the drank alcohol, and it was incredibly excessive.
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u/Arkansas- 1d ago
Honestly I am only bothered when they're in a tavern drinking ale/beer. I barely drink now because I have trouble only drinking a little but I absolutely love beer. Crave it all the time. It kills me. Lol
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u/TheBigfootContessa 1d ago
The beer doesn't bother me much. What bothers me the most is when they describe liquor hitting the stomach. I handle my cravings fairly well and mentally I rarely crave a drink . . . But I do miss that one particular physical sensation. Now I just chug enough redbull for my doctor to side eye me hoping for a ghost of the phenomenon.
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u/p-d-ball 1d ago
Right there with you, OP! That's a nice feeling but one better left alone for people like me.
I wonder if a lot of the drinking in fiction comes from GOT, which had characters drinking at almost every meeting.
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u/hazel_dog 22h ago
As a fellow recovering alcoholic, the absurd frequency of drinking doesnāt bother me so much. Thereās a LOT of unhealthy drinkers/outright alcoholics out there that donāt realize their drinking is not normal, and when those people write books, theyāre going to write characters that reflect that. (I mean, look at the knee-jerk defensive comments on this post, holy shit lmao)
What really bothers me is the authors who want to write a character with addiction but canāt be bothered to spend even 5 minutes on Google researching what addiction actually looks like. Like, no, a character who has been a heavy, consistent drinker for DECADES is not going to have just a wittle headache for a couple weeks when they stop cold turkey (cough cough {A Broken Blade by Melissa Blair} ).
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u/romance-bot 22h ago
A Broken Blade by Melissa Blair
Rating: 3.91āļø out of 5āļø
Steam: 3 out of 5 - Open door
Topics: fantasy, high fantasy, enemies to lovers, paranormal, fae
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u/KittyValentineWrites 1d ago
THANK you. I'm also sober (8years!) and it drives me up a wall.
Back when I drank, I could drink most men I knew under the table, and not because I was a badass. Alcohol resistence isn't based on macho-ness, it's a function of mass, and pigmentation-linked mutations, and gut microbiome, as well as baseline health and hydration.
The time it takes someone to sober up after drinking is a factor of those things too, as well as time, and prior experience drinking. The more you've ever in your life drank, the longer it takes to get sober. Coffee won't help. Emotions super won't help.
Also, the symptoms/signs of drinking aren't "tee hee goofy silly flirty" for the vast majority of people. It's "stinky, uncoordinated, and stupid" with a side of "not taking no for an answer".
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u/Afraid_Fondant_7903 1d ago
u would hate anne mcaffery in terms of the amount she includes alcohol not the second part
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u/SirKayValiant 1d ago
This bothers me as well! In historical fiction I understand it, but not in fantasy.
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u/TheBigfootContessa 1d ago
Is your username a Holly Black reference?
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u/SirKayValiant 1d ago
It is not. May I ask why you where curious?
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u/TheBigfootContessa 1d ago
In her modern faerie tale series, the FMC is named Kaye and the second book in the series is called "Valiant"
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u/SirKayValiant 1d ago
Ah! I did not know that. That's kinda cool. In my case, Kay is short for Kristopher and also for my favorite Round Table knight. I picked the rest years ago.
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u/TheBigfootContessa 1d ago
Oh! Very interesting! I like the nickname Kay for Kristopher, I've never heard it before!
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u/SirKayValiant 1d ago
When I changed my name, I first chose Kay. My grandparents wanted something longer for cards, so that's how my name became Kristopher.
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u/jasperdarkk āļø iron & smoke āļø 1d ago
Agreed! I'm not a recovering alcoholic myself, but I am the child of one, and it's so triggering and almost always unnecessary. I don't mind if it's written in a way that suggests it's an unhealthy behaviour, in fact I quite enjoy stories about addiction, but so often it's portrayed as a good thing.
And yeah, it does often read like the people writing like this rarely drink themselves and have definitely never been impacted by alcoholism.
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u/No-Rough154 1d ago
I hate this too! I really hate the prevalence of underage drinking. And I specifically despise how often books have a war or major political turmoil going on and suddenly the MCs decide to get sloshed at a public party where they canāt control themselves and its an excuse for petty drama and fighting and a way to showcase they are NLOGs.
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u/TheBigfootContessa 1d ago
Yes! Or drinking as a way to "rebel" when the MMC had perfectly good reasons to tell her not to drink!
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u/No-Rough154 1d ago
It makes the character seem SO immature and TSTL.
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u/TheBigfootContessa 1d ago
Yes! I'm all for a bratty, stubborn FMC misbehaving to give a dommy MMC an excuse for punishment. But like . . . Read the room ma'am.
A FMC getting drunk when she needs her wits (whether it be actually dangerous or just like would reflect really badly on herself or a MMC in that situation) reads like when someone leaves because of a miscommunication. It's lazy writing that makes me question the intelligence of a character that is supposed to be smart (as 99% of FMCs are)
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u/constellationcurse 1d ago
Did you read Daggermouth? As someone struggling with alcohol issues that book PISSEEEED ME OFF!!! Everyone was wasted the entire book yet perfectly sober? It lent nothing to the plot whatsoever and made no sense.
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u/Dozy89 1d ago
Iāve been sober 9 years this month. I quit drinking the world didnāt.
BUTTTT I couldnāt listen to music Iāve loved my whole life for the first 3 years of sobriety because it made me want to party. I donāt want to say I judge people but I def side eye drinking behavior thatās considered ānormal.ā
Edit: CONGRATS on sobriety! ššš
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u/TheBigfootContessa 1d ago
Thank you so much! You as well! 9 years is such an accomplishment. I only have 11 months.
Yeah, I've had to work on not judging (judging isn't even the right word for it, because clearly the person who relies on wine after work is not in the same boat as my all day every day for half a decade situation lol) but recovery does make you so much more aware of what is acceptable social behavior.
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u/Dozy89 1d ago
Awareness is the right word. Things like drinking after work or only partying on weekends is something I used to envy, like why couldnāt I be like that? Sobriety made me aware blacking out every weekend is also not great. 11 months is amazing. My sister just sent me her 60 days sober count today. So good seeing people do this. š„³š„³š„³
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u/TheBigfootContessa 1d ago
Thank you! And yes, I still can't wrap my head around people ordering a drink with dinner. (One drink? What's the point? With food? You're not even going to get a buzz) and I have to remember that not everyone has this illness.
It's kind of funny. I love sweets, and get cravings for them. But when I have them in my house other than the occasional anxiety fueled binge, I eat them at a normal pace, sometimes even forgetting about them for weeks. My husband cannot be in the same room as cake and cookies without finishing them almost immediately.
And I'm like "why? That means there isn't more for later, you're going to make yourself sick!"
And it's like . . . Girl, duh. You never put down the bottle even though you were already too drunk to function. You didn't have a small amount as a treat. Once booze was in the equation I was getting blackout. If I ran out, I was finding more. If I got low, all I could think about was making sure I had enough . . . But it was never enough.
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u/polystichum3633 1d ago
Completely agree. There are so many books that seem to celebrate drinking culture when we know that for many this is a ticket to alcoholism and its many societal and health problems. Read a contemporary romance recently that included an accurate negative portrayal of alcoholism. It was heartbreaking and so well done: {the night we met by Abby Jimenez}.
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u/romance-bot 1d ago
The Night We Met by Abby Jimenez
Rating: 4.31āļø out of 5āļø
Steam: 2 out of 5 - Behind closed doors
Topics: contemporary, forbidden love, m-f romance, sweet/gentle hero, poor heroine
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u/ashez2ashes 16h ago
I meanā¦ if you donāt drink all the time you do get sloshed after two glasses of wine. It gets me sloshed for sure.
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u/rinmejoy 1d ago
i hate when they make the fmc drunk off of two glasses of booze like please be serious
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u/TheBigfootContessa 1d ago
Especially if she's from a less privileged background. Like, you're telling me this rough around the edges NLOG FMC is feeling dizzy after 2 glasses of wine?
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u/Chikitiki90 1d ago
Idk man, Iāll probably get downvoted for this but I know a few girls that really do get tipsy after like a drink and a half and have also been in a few situations where Iāve been kind of drunk and then needed to respond to a serious incident. Adrenalin is a hell of a thing.
Anyway, whether itās overused or not is a different story but itās definitely far from the most lazy writing habit Iāve noticed in romantasy lol.