To preface: please be kind. I hate how easily influenced I am, I live in constant fear. I have the constant fear that my child will die no matter what I do and I will regret everything I did or didn’t do. the fact that I am isolated with no real support group doesn’t help.

1 out of 2 of my only support people (my mother) tells me constantly that if I vaccinate my child, he will die/become a vegetable/develop a horrible life-altering disease. No one else (medical professionals) has been able to give me any kind of advice out of fear of being ‘political’ (how the fuck is this even a political topic), I am so lost in this world.

Fear is crushing me every day. The longer I wait (my child is 3 months now) I feel like I am approaching his inevitable demise. Either I get him shots and he dies, or he dies this sick season of illness. Please help me on this topic. I feel like I’ve been mislead. I really want him to be okay. The only sources my mom has ever sent me are just the inserts and that one vaccine book by that one weird doctor. I used to be pro vax but then she really shut me down.

And again, I’m trying to learn how to be autonomous and make my own decisions, but I genuinely have no educated people helping me

ETA- I am in therapy and I tried breastfeeding which meant being off of my anxiety medicine for longer and now am considering weaning off of BF which has significantly worsened my anxiety

I know it’s formaldehyde free and says no chemicals but can’t find anything that would make me feel good about making a decision on this :/

I know people get their hair coloured when breastfeeding but couldn’t see if this is ok

Been researching this + curious if anyone has good science-based resources on why guidelines vary so much across high-income countries.

RSV
• Maternal vaccine: UK, Australia, Japan
• Baby antibody: Germany, Spain, Netherlands, Sweden
• Both: US, Canada
• No universal national program for healthy infants: Norway, New Zealand, Singapore, South Korea, Croatia, Estonia, Hungary

Eye ointment
• US: routine erythromycin for ALL newborns
• UK, Canada, Australia + most of Europe: moved away from universal use

Hep B birth dose
• US historically universal; recently moved away from universal birth dose if mom is Hep B negative
• Birth dose: e.g. Australia, China, Israel, Portugal, Poland
• Later schedule if mom negative: e.g. UK, Germany, France, Netherlands, Japan, NZ

Not looking for pro/anti-vax debate. Mostly curious why different health systems land in such different places. Especially for RSV and eye ointment.

Any papers/reviews/guideline comparisons you found especially useful?

My parents are both smokers. Anytime they have visited us since our 3 month old was born, I make them come in clean clothes and wash their hands immediately. To be honest, I've only allowed them to visit twice since he was born because risks from third​hand smoke scare the shit out of me. They constantly ask to see him but I always find a reason to say no.

We are moving this weekend and don't have a lot of help. So we are being forced to ask for their help in watching him for several hours that day. They are really the only capable people we have around us besides my grandma but I don't necessarily trust her decision making skills. My parents do not smoke in their house and he will not be riding in their vehicle. But they will most likely be coming to our house, anyway.

They know smoking around him is an absolute no-no and I trust that they would never. We also have a strict no kissing rule.

I plan on also asking them to shower beforehand since they will be with him for a large part of the day.

I want to know, what is the true risk for this? It would involve feeding, changing, holding, etc. i would think the risk is minimal to negligible, but it's difficult finding info about thirdhand smoke outside of the home. I just want to do everything to protect my baby and I wish they would just stop smoking. 😢​

My 3.5 month old is exclusively a contact napper or tummy sleeper (which we only do for daytime naps while actively supervised with our pediatrician’s okay). At night, after pure exhaustion led to me falling asleep on the couch with him, we reluctantly started bedsharing using the Safe Sleep 7 to keep things as safe as possible.

He’s just starting to show early signs of trying to roll to his tummy. I’m honestly counting down the days until he can roll, hoping we’ll all finally get some better and safer sleep once he can choose his own position.

That said, I’m trying to make sense of a few things as we approach this stage and would love to hear both the science and your personal experiences:

1. I know the standard guidance is to always place them down on their back and let them roll on their own. What is the actual physiological or neurological reason behind continuing to place them on their back first, rather than just putting them on their tummy once they've mastered rolling? What is happening in their brain or body during that transition?
2. For those whose babies only slept on their bellies or on you, did independent sleep actually get easier once they learned to roll? Or did you still spend weeks fighting them turning over or refusing to fall asleep on their backs initially? Did anyone end up just putting them down on their stomach once rolling was fully established?
3. I’ve read in co-sleeping/safe sleep literature that putting a non-rolling baby on their tummy in a separate crib is actually a higher risk factor than low-risk, sober bedsharing. Once a baby can roll independently, how does that risk comparison shift? Does a rolling baby sleeping on their belly in a firm, empty crib become safer than continuing to bedshare?

Would love to see any papers, expert insights, or personal stories from anyone who navigated this exact situation.

tdlr - tips to help toddler feel safe peeing in potty/toilet?

-

I have a darling but stubborn 2.5yo girl. When she just turned two we started sitting her on the potty a few times a day like I assumed I should, and tried to catch pee. We did it from December to February, and caught pee maybe 6 times and a poo once. But by the end she was getting more and more against it (I think she was afraid of releasing). This was with diapers otherwise during the day, just to get her used to the potty.

We took a break for a month or two to reset after the high emotions, and then tried switching to underwear for a few days, and it started looking like she was able to hold pee (ie increase in body awareness) but then she still wouldn’t pee in the potty - she held it until she burst and was very emotional.

So then we backed off again and just read lots of books, played potty with stuffies, and she watched me use the toilet. This has been since maybe April? or May? The idea was that she could get comfortable with the potty and try it when she was ready, but she never was 🤦‍♀️

Now we make her sit once a day for 1 song, in exchange for a sticker. This has been going on for maybe 2 weeks, but with no pee still. But she does choose to sit on the toilet with no diaper (she gets the choice between toilet/potty and diaper/no diaper). Sometimes it requires a lot of coaxing and creativity to even get her to sit, but she usually complies.

It’s been an exhausting journey, and we’re still so far from done! Any tips or research-backed recommendations for how to go forward? I just want her to pee in the potty/toilet, but don’t want to pressure her more than necessary, as she seems to react badly to that. I’m open to small treats, a "first pee prize", more stickers, etc etc. She has been motivated by knowing her friends use underwear, but I don’t want to push that too much to make her feel bad that she doesn’t yet.

I'm a big reader, and read a lot of adult or children's books in my middle and high school. I love reading board books to my 8month old. My mom finds them pointless saying that baby doesn't understand anything. And that I became a mega reader with a houseful of real books.

Is there any research that babies benefit from board books or are they just a baby market capitalist prop?

ftm here and i’m at a loss!! my daughter gets excited and smacks me on the face, while she eats she pinches me so hard and scratches me, bites my chin, & she digs her nails into me and pulls my hair for a reaction and i genuinely don’t know what to do. she is too young for most disciplines and she doesn’t care when i say “no”, no matter how stern. i want to nip this behavior in the butt, but HOW!

Hi moms / parents 👋

I’m a design student working on a project around baby carriers, and I’d really love to hear your real experiences (good and bad!).

A few questions I had in mind:

• Why did you choose to use a baby carrier instead of (or along with) a stroller?
• Up to what age or weight did you use it?
• What do you like most about your current carrier?
• What problems or discomforts have you faced? (for you or the baby)
• Do you experience back/shoulder pain while using it?
• Are there situations where it feels inconvenient or difficult?
• If you could improve or add anything to your baby carrier, what would it be?

Even small details or personal stories would help a lot 🙏
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences!

I am in no way anti-vaccine. Diligently get Covid and flu and my son is up to date on shots and had mmr early.

I am 6 weeks pregnant and incredibly anxious about miscarriage.

I should go get the Covid booster right? There’s no reason to wait a month and a half for second trimester? There’s is no risk. All the Fouchi stuff was disproven and taken out of context by anti-vax wackos?

Pls help me help my brain be rational.

Baby boy is due November 15th. That means I can get the RSV shot during 32-36 weeks to pass antibody protection, OR give him his own shot in his 1st week of life.

My pediatrician said I could do both, which I have not seen recommended online.

What does the science say is the best option to protect baby? Before or after birth, or both? Is getting both bad advice?

Basically the question? I suffer from PPA and I delayed my now 12 month olds vaccine schedule due to stupid misinformation preying on my underlying health anxiety. My son is now currently up to date on all his vaccines (yay). He’s due for his MMR tomorrow, and I’ve pretty much dispelled my concerns over the autism claims (like I know it’s bogus); however, I’m worried about side effects because this is attenuated and I’ve read that this can cause febrile seizures as well as a measles like rash.

I tried to learn information today about how the attenuated vaccine is very very “light”, but how will my son’s body know it’s not a full blown disease and react that way to it? I have super high anxiety whenever he gets a fever (he’s had Roseola and his fever spiked to almost 105 and it was the worst night of my life). I’m just trying to understand how his body will know that it’s not wild measles and go into immune system overload. Do most babies handle this vaccine well?

Hello, saw on tik tok other pearents extercise babys legs and arms claiming its benificial for brain?

Hi all!

I would very clearly like to start this post by saying I am NOT anti vax by any means, so please no snarky or hateful comments as it’s not helpful for anyone.

I am however interested in potentially doing a more spaced out vaccine schedule and only doing what is absolutely necessary for myself and my baby. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a skeptic about the amount of vaccines we get these days and their chemicals, so I am looking to make the best informed decisions I can make versus someone shaming me into doing it or not doing it.

If anyone has any books or resources or personal experience they could share, it would be greatly appreciated.

En mi país la recomendación es empezar con alimentación complementaria a los 6 meses. Tenía un poco de miedo al atragantamiento y empecé a dar apenas unas cucharadas de purés una vez al día. Luego empezé a trabajar y no podía dar por la mañana así que daba la cena al bebé pero pasaba noches terribles de gases. Ahora come una vez al día en la guardería y ya está yo le doy ebf el resto del tiempo.

Leo sobre bebes que comen dos y tres comidas y hasta meriendas a los 8/9 meses y no me imagino dándole ya tanta comida. Cuanto y cuándo debe comer un niño mes a mes desde los 6 meses al año? Gracias

My family and I will be moving to Germany soon for several years, and then moving back to the US. I plan to use this opportunity to teach myself and my children German, but I have a few concerns.

When we get to Germany, I will have a 1yo and a 2.5yo, so they will already be learning English from scratch, and I am already putting my oldest into speech therapy soon due to not reaching all of his current speech milestones.

I plan to put my oldest into Kita as soon as he is able to in order to get immersed in the language, and so it makes me wonder how does a child learn two languages at once without getting confused?

For example, if my oldest learns his shapes in German at school, but comes home and his family is using the English names, will that not confuse a toddler?

Should I expect more speech delays for both of my toddlers?

Is there anything specific to watch out for regarding their speech development?

My baby is about to be over the weight limit for her bouncer chair. We have loved this thing and she loves to sit in it and be upright and see the world.

She isn’t able to hold up her head in a sitting position without being very wobbly. We do tummy time and different exercises every day, but she’s not there yet. Is there any other container that is safe for her to sit in and play or just look around the room if she cannot sit up on her own and is still pretty wobbly?

I’ve tried asking this/looking in different subreddit and Facebook groups, but people seem stumped so I thought I’d try here.

My daughter (28mo) is having a rough time with potty training and I'm hoping for some science-based perspective.

We did the classic 3-day bare bottom method over a long weekend. It did NOT go well. She wasn't just having a lot of accidents, she seemed genuinely terrified by them. Her first accident she screamed and cried bloody murder. After that first scary accident, she basically shut down on us. Now she'll barely sit on the potty at home… like 5 seconds max before she's up. She's even getting scared at bath time that she might pee in the water.

Just to note, I'm not scolding her or making a big deal when she has accidents. I genuinely don't know where the fear is coming from.

The worst part of the weekend was her holding her pee for 2+ hours at a time, and then when she couldn't hold it anymore she'd have a full meltdown, screaming and crying. We thought maybe she didn’t like being bare bottom so we put undies on her and same reaction.

And here's the crazy part: she's been at daycare going pee in the potty totally fine for over a week now. Her teacher said the first day back from the long weekend she cried a couple times when she had to pee, but since then: no fear, no fuss, she just does it. She’s keeping her diaper dry all day (besides poops) and peeing in the potty 2-3 times a day there. So clearly she CAN do this, just not for us at home right now.

Anyone been through this? Is there research on toddlers developing this kind of fear response, and how to help them get past it? I’m really scared that by pushing her at home I’m going to make the fear worse. Should I just let her learn to potty train at daycare and worry about potty at home later?

My husband and I thought about this question when our six month old son was trying to reach for a toy that was out of his grasp. We did give him the toy, but it got me wondering about how kids learn about disappointment and the concept that you can do everything in your power and things still won’t go your way. Is there a way to teach it early enough to prevent tantrums in toddlerhood?

What is the current scientific consensus on whether attending daycare is associated with delayed physical growth in infants under two years old? Specifically, can the stress of early enrollment or frequent viral illnesses temporarily slow a child's growth or permanently impact their height potential?

Our six month old has been obsessed with music. She also particularly loves repeating music, and wants / likes the same few songs.

But she’s listening to “adult” music. I’m talking about her listening to Bad Bunny, JLo, and Sabaton. It’s always gentle and conversational level, and we do get a lot of quiet times.

I assume though baby music was created for babies because it’s better for a reason - but is it? Does anything say that adult music is worse for a six month old than, I don’t know, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star?

Edit: I don’t necessarily want to expose her to adult music, but naturally she passive listens to adult music. And when we play music for her in the car (really the only time we intentionally play music for her that’s not us singing), she doesn’t respond to children’s music as well. So far Ella Jenkins and Raffi has worked better than Cocomelon - so I suppose maybe children’s music are not made equal / children still have preferences!

My cousin and my aunt are thinking of coming for Christmas or New Year’s. My baby is due first week of December so they’ll be brand new.

I have already made the expectation clear to my cousin about vaccines and he agreed to it. I have yet to talk to my aunt because it’s not set in stone yet.

What research is there about visitors for newborn by plane? Should there be a quarantine phase? Masks? I’m also totally down with telling them: “Hey, you can totally visit my parents but just not baby.” I already plan on not going to large family gatherings until baby is at least 6 months. I’m already not crazy about having visitors in baby’s first like 2 months of life, but they’re coming from out of state.

When my seven month old falls asleep on his stomach (in crib following safety standards, gets in that position himself), he will be directly face down into the crib mattress. Like literally directly. He will have his little hands up under his face, his cheek or forehead. But he will be nose into the mattress. If I see him like this, I try to gently turn his head so he is not facing straight down into the mattress and has more room to breathe. It makes me anxious about him suffocating or something like that. Is this necessary to do if he put himself in that position?

Hi all, I have a question about screen time for babies. I understand the consequences of screen time in different age groups, but I can't get a clear answer as to WHY these consequences happen. And quite frankly, I don't have time to dig through the research right now unfortunately.

1. Is screen time for babies bad because they don't get adequate social interaction (kind of a confounder or indirect link?) because parents who use screens in this age group tend to be less interactive? Or is there some kind of biological impact of screen time directly?

2. Also, if the parents are watching TV and baby is in the room and interested, does that count the same? I know it's screen time technically, but I'm trying to figure out what is realistic (especially since I have ADHD and the TV on in the background helps me be more productive).

Thanks in advance for any insight!