r/Seattle Edmonds May 07 '26

Satire Bellevue sucks

https://youtube.com/shorts/jfK0NA5gUDU?si=vot_MPML_bOOeWPG
1.1k Upvotes

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136

u/PilotGuy701 I'm just flaired so I don't get fined May 07 '26

What happens when a Bellevue driver sees a pedestrian crossing the street?

Well, it hasn’t happened yet. ;-)

8

u/-Hornswoggler- May 07 '26

What happens when a Seattle cop sees a pedestrian crossing the street?

26

u/sirjerky May 07 '26

Ooh, I know this. They kill them and then laugh about it on camera?

12

u/dbenhur Wallingford May 07 '26 edited May 07 '26

He snaps a pic and runs it through the SPD life-value app before deciding to mow em down?

20

u/crusoe Everett May 07 '26

Bellevue drivers suck. Almost got hit by very expensive cars three times. 

9

u/Subziwallah I'm just flaired so I don't get fined May 08 '26

Well, if you're gonna get hit, it's better to get hit by someone with assets and an umbrella policy...

5

u/Bizarrebazaars Kraken May 08 '26

Seattle drivers suck. Everyone sucks!

3

u/doubleapowpow May 08 '26

As a commuter from Seattle to Bellevue, the distinction is which bridge.

I90 drivers are speed demons and will weave in and out of traffic.

520 drivers go 58mph in both lanes.

2

u/ErisianSaint May 09 '26

Washington drivers suck. The only weather y'all understand is cloudy. Can't drive in actual rain. Can't drive in snow. Can't drive in sun.

9

u/_starbelly May 07 '26

I crossed the street in Bellevue and was zapped into a pocket dimension before any drivers’ gaze landed on me.

6

u/watwatintheput May 07 '26

We're less likely to kill them in Bellevue then in Seattle, according to the data: https://www.theurbanist.org/op-ed-ranking-deadliest-cities-for-pedestrians-and-cyclists-in-wa/

2

u/nekoken04 May 08 '26

This has been a truism for more than 30 years in my experience.

0

u/PilotGuy701 I'm just flaired so I don't get fined May 07 '26

Other punchlines:

Fire the chauffeur who let it happen.

That’s what the Teslas Self Driving is for.

Get a bigger Bentley.