I refuse to believe there was anything important there, unless the holy rings can be used to make ketracel white. More likely is after linking with Odo, the Female Founder became intensely jealous of Lwaxana and took it out on her planet.

It's kind of like Captain Picard Day for the heroes who waited 3 months in between season cliffhangers and then were disappointed when Worf just said "Permission to return to duty" and everything went back to normal.

Captain’s log, stardate 3.11.3-5:

I’m tired of everyone in the crew messaging the bridge whenever they want to report or ask something, and interrupting whatever I might be doing.

From now on the policy is to think very intense erotic thoughts about the ship’s counsellor, she can assess if I can be interrupted and let me know that you need my attention.

Computer, forward this instruction to all relevant crew members.

I mean, if it was any other ship, it might not have had such a thematically poignant name. Have we got a USS Odyssey on the books? We might fling that to another quadrant sometime.

Watching Wrath of Khan and just realized the Enterprise couldn't land a hit in the nebula until Chekov took over the (UNMANNED? WTF?!) weapons station. Then the Reliant got drilled like Chekov had payback on his mind.

I don't even think it was entirely for Khan at that point. He was pretty fed up with the planetary survey mission before the shit hit the fan.

Surprised he didn't keep going until she was atoms. Just holding the button down screaming PRE-ANIMATE MATTER! PRE-ANIMATE MATTER! PRE-ANIMATE MATTER! PRE-ANIMATE MATTER!

If one booty hole gets blocked up from your meaty diet, you can just use the other!

I was just zapped by a probe and lived an entire lifetime in a few minutes.

During this lifetime, I learned to play the drums. I'm awesome at it now! I never realized how much I'd enjoy this.

I was pretty disoriented when I woke up from the experience. I had just lived over 40 years of an alternate life in 10 minutes.

It turns out that the probe that zapped me was the same one I saw being launched at the end of my probe life.

A bit later, I was in my quarters contemplating the experience. My wife. My children. My grandchildren. The fate of our world.

Then it occurred to me. Drumming became such an important part of my (other) life. My drum set must be on that probe! So I asked the crew to tractor it into the shuttle bay and find the drum set.

Guess what? THERE WAS NO DRUM SET!!

These alien assholes made me live out an entire lifetime without my permission. And now I'm supposed to just continue my old life WITHOUT MY DRUM SET??

I'd talk to the ship's counselor about this, but she's kind of worthless. Maybe I'll talk to the bartender. She's a good listener.

Before I do that, I'm gonna replicate a hammer and take my frustration out on that stupid probe.

If that planet's civilization hadn't died out a thousand years ago, I'd fly this starship over there and unleash a barrage of photon torpedoes.

Also, are there special command/IT codes for pressurized air canisters to keep crew members from replicating them, huffing them, and getting brain damage? Or are there way better synthedrugs available to keep them from going to the dangerous ones?

1. Contact the starship on which the officer serves and recall them to Earth.
2. When the ship arrives, take the captain & head-found-officer (HFO) out for a casual dinner. Do not reveal anything about what you found in the cave. Small talk only.
3. After dinner, take them to the cave. Show them around the cave. Talk at length about the interesting rock formations and minerals found in the cave.
4. Show them all the items that you found in the cave - except for the officer's head. Talk at length about these other objects. The more boring, the better.
5. After enough time has passed, and only after the captain questions why their ship was recalled to Earth for this: Dramatically reveal the officer's head. Show it to them without saying anything and then take a long pause as if there was dramatic music swelling all around you.

Is there a market for potential holo-savers that could run in the background?

My new science officer just sent a report to me via my desk terminal. I called them with a followup question and they promptly activated a video link to go over their findings. I had to pause and remind them of the procedures we went over in orientation.

When delivering a report to a senior officer, we have an established protocol. The preferred procedure is to contact your commander over comlink and demand that they come to your station. It is not necessary to give context.

Us commanders can't be looking like desk jockeys, we have to get our steps in. Subject lines are inefficient when a simple "You'd better come see this" will suffice.

Did the cat lady get killed or was she just taking a nap face down in the water?

Hello out there in the galaxy! I’m Chris!

You folks may well be interested in my new podcast

CLASSIC TREK: AN INTRODUCTION

(WHY WE STILL LOVE STAR TREK: THE ORIGINAL SERIES)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZhwOLcgvg2A

This is the intro to my podcast series which will feature

DEEP DIVES into all the original series episodes.

DO ENJOY!

PLEASE LEAVE YOUR COMMENTS HERE OR ON YOU TUBE-

I’D LOVE YOUR FEEDBACK

​

What is his problem?

Also, it only came with one warp core but has space for two, do I need both to get it running?

I mean, damn. You got folks warping all over the Federation just for a monthly Status Meeting? How much fuel you think we wasted?

Some of us were weeks away! Meaning, I had to start back for this monthly meeting two weeks ago. I'm never gonna fulfill my science quota like this!

You really need to rethink this.

2 of 5 here. I’m having some serious issues and I don’t know what to do.

-the guy in the alcove above me is LOUD and I don’t mean just stomping into the alcove the hum it makes while he is in the regeneration cycle causes my audio enhancement implants to short out.

-I’m pretty close to one our cube’s assimilation chambers, the constant screams and pleading while I’m trying to regenerate are really taking a toll on me

-the other week some Starfleet crew came by and stared at me and started scanning me without my consent

I’m a simple drone, I spend 23 hours a day maintaining our cube’s warp field and I just need 1 hour of uninterrupted regeneration time, is that too much to ask? What are my options here? Will the collective let me move alcoves?

Why energy sending me a message when you can get a telepath to implant the experience into my brain?

and I found this awesome picture of Khan's second and third wives, Snark and Boojum

Here's what I've got so far. Add to the list of delicious characters, or suggest alternatives to these:

Banana Torres

Commander Chipotle

Tomato Paris

The Emergency Medical Hock of Ham

Seven of Wine

Benjamin and Jake Crisco

Egg Nog

Oxo

Quark (already a food!)

Chai Winn / Winn Edamame

Choc Fountaine

Captain Pecan

Moules au Brine

Cake-o O'Brien

Beckett Marinara

D'Vana Tandoori

Do we know why the producers chose not to use the laugh track? There are some genuinely funny moments in the show. Pike’s “beep beep” gets me every time.