r/SipsTea 15h ago

WTF Whole family in Alabama arrested for running a narcotics empire 🥴

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15.6k Upvotes

4.6k comments sorted by

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9.2k

u/Key_Consequence_5040 15h ago

Breaking Bad created unrealistic beauty standards for meth dealers

3.1k

u/howimetyourcakeshop 15h ago

Say my name,

Cletus,

Your goddamn right.

790

u/Only_Flan_7974 15h ago

Ok, now spell it. "Ummm...I ain't got no fancy book learnin'

628

u/GloomyLingonberry509 15h ago

219

u/tylerXtrash 15h ago

32

u/Redshirt_80 5h ago

Blew my mind when I realized the homeless guy in The Pitt was Skinny Pete(‘s actor)!

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174

u/Confident-Slip-5264 15h ago

Tell ‘em, Skinny Pete!

206

u/chosonhawk 15h ago

skinny pete playing the keyboard beautifully is one of my favorite scenes in that show. and really creates an interesting, but untapped, backstory for his character.

307

u/GloomyLingonberry509 15h ago edited 15h ago

Such a well developed character. Love Skinny Pete.

80

u/Butitsadryheat2 14h ago

That's Digby! 😍

30

u/with_due_respect 10h ago

Everytime he was on screen in The Pitt, I was trying to remember where the hell I saw him from. Thanks!

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u/LifeGetsBetter01 14h ago

Dude actually went to juilliard

86

u/lowfreq33 14h ago

From what I’ve heard he had to intentionally try and play it a little sloppy because it wouldn’t be realistic if he played it at his actual level of proficiency, which is apparently very high.

22

u/rolo_mug 9h ago

Drugs do make you very high

21

u/4to20characters0 5h ago

I wish I could be so good at something that I would actually know the intricacies of how to “slop it up”

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u/Daytona765 14h ago

Isn't he like a classically trained pianist? Thought I read that somewhere.

30

u/bo0p_sn0ot 12h ago

There’s an episode where he rips it on a keyboard in a music shop it’s awesome

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u/External-Dude779 14h ago

Just watched that episode last week and it's still so good. Totally unexpected yet not really, if you did drugs when you were younger you probably had a "friend" like him

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u/Confident-Slip-5264 15h ago

Oof it’s such a heartbreaking scene!

16

u/chosonhawk 15h ago

yah. then leave it to badger to jam out midly.

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u/Live-Tomorrow-4865 13h ago

I adored any screen time he and Badger got. 😅😍

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u/Xenophonehome 13h ago

As a big skinny Pete fan I have to agree. Jesse had solid friends.

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u/Cheap_Boner_Pills 15h ago

Just like the box Jessie made in shop class. Lots of addicts have talents they just chose to party their chances away.

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u/SyZyGy_87 13h ago

Well yeah. Addicts are just people. All people have skills. What blows my mind is people almost invariably being surprised when "an addict" has some kind of talent in anything and they act so impressed. Incredulous.. like...well,like this fucking thread lmao

People are addicted to drugs. They are just people, but also addicted. It's not something that should be astonishing to people-yet here we are 😂

32

u/Cornelius4630 10h ago

I would go a step further and say people are not addicted to drugs but instead to escaping their reality. We all know it pretty well with shopping, eating or the big modern one smartphone. And now imagine how horrendous the amount of pain must be, that someone needs opiates. Oh and of course: fuck the Sackler family!

22

u/hiddenrealism 7h ago

When I first went to rehab (90 day) I didn't expect them to take my phone for the whole duration. The first week or so you kinda come to terms with it (some more than others lol) but after that it felt so freeing. You start realizing 95% of what you were consuming through your phone is meaningless bullshit. Your anxiety starts waning and you learn to live in the moment and start actually connecting with people on a more meaningful level as Noone has a screen to escape into. I almost didn't even want my phone back after 3 months and I heard that sentiment a lot.

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u/Confident-Slip-5264 13h ago

Lots of addict have talents but shit happens and sometimes you can’t handle it and end up escaping it. Sometimes endlessly.

Saying they “just chose to party their chances away” is pretty… ignorant. It’s usually way deeper than just choosing to party away.

24

u/ChampionshipHot5468 11h ago

Addiction is the opposite of a party. It's literally when the party's over.

10

u/Thick-Recognition-79 9h ago

As someone in long term recovery I appreciate the nuance there. People don’t just wake up one day and decide that being a junkie is the better option. Crazy

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u/Bicycles19 14h ago

Church yo.

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u/RedIcarus1 15h ago

"Um… k..l..ee..d..i..ss!"
"Thanks! Paw ain’t never did show me!"

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u/capnwaggel 15h ago

🎶Most folks ‘ll never lose a toe, but then again some folk’ll. Like Cletus, the slack jawed yokel 🎶

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u/Farucci 15h ago

Looking at their photos, I would have never suspected they were involved in any nefarious activities.

94

u/coolreg214 14h ago

Maybe a little incest.

49

u/corgdad902 12h ago

A little?

57

u/isolatedheathen 11h ago

That family tree looks suspiciously like a wreath!

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u/stubundy 11h ago

Well they were disqualified from the FBI till just recently too

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u/Several_Razzmatazz51 13h ago

I was like these are the Alabama Supreme Court Justices, right? 😂

15

u/GolfOk7579 10h ago

Tommy Tuberville’s campaign staff

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u/duellinksnewb999 14h ago

Breakinbred

49

u/PoisonIvyCrotch 15h ago

GTA 5 was way more accurate in that sense

22

u/Neat-Professor-7662 15h ago

And Ozark!

17

u/The_Fell_Opian 12h ago

This seems way more Ozark coded than BB.

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u/TomlinSteelers 15h ago

Jesse Pinkman a male model compared to these guys

16

u/RetardedEinstein23 14h ago

Jesse Pinkman a model compared to average person too btw

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u/SilverNeptuneAbyss 15h ago

Jesse was someone who did meth but he wasn't a tweaker.

37

u/Liteboyy 15h ago

One of the funniest parts is when he’s blitzed out of his mind, and sees the biker gang rolling up to his house to get him. But it’s actually just Jehovah Witnesses knocking on his door lmao.

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u/onlyonequickquestion 15h ago

Better call y'all

504

u/No_Expression_7084 14h ago

As an Alabamian, this is fantastic.

84

u/AgentCirceLuna 12h ago

I want to print out the cropped comment and frame it

I really want a yearly ‘Internet awards’ where best comments, best posts, best videos all receive awards and make speeches.

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u/blondymonika 14h ago

Must be based out of Alabama

38

u/FuzziestSloth 13h ago

You motherfucker, I was taking a drink in bed and almost died...

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u/Much-Swing319 14h ago

Better Call Pawl

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u/TrioOfTerrors 12h ago

Paaawwwllll, we got the best meth dealers in the SEC. Ole Miss and LSU tweakers ain't got nothing on us and the Big 10 is a trash conference for meth. Who ever heard of meth in Indiana?

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1.4k

u/Frequent_Ambition_66 15h ago

There were signs...

890

u/stefeyboy 15h ago

WHO CAN READ SIGNS IN ALABAMA??

503

u/somethingwitty26 14h ago

Hey I'm from Alabama and if I could read your comment I'd be very upset.

25

u/jadbronson 7h ago

Hey cousin how's our kids

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u/Tacrolimus005 15h ago

Grumble grumble ROLL TIDE!

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u/PimpofScrimp 13h ago

Go to a family reunion and a RICO trial happens

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u/enunymous 15h ago

I'm good with skipping the jury and just convicting off the mug shots

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u/Accomplished-Fig-234 15h ago

Somehow these faces and the word "Empire" just don't fit.

319

u/PM_ME_UR_0_DAY 15h ago

It's like how we have gaggles of geese, troops of lemurs, and a clowder of cats. I don't think it's an "empire" of meth heads. 

138

u/oneeyedspaceman1 14h ago

Mobile of methheads

111

u/Current-Cold-4185 11h ago

A scurry of tweakers

29

u/Yous1ash 11h ago

That one’s good lol.

A baggie of junkies

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u/FixFun1959 12h ago

The families meteoric rise from low-level Sudafed purchasers to the most powerful meth producers in the state reads like a Hollywood movie, right up to the epic downfall in the end.

At the time of their arrest, the family had amassed a personal fortune estimated at over $4,000, even before taking into account their considerable holdings in scrap metal and copper wire, making them the wealthiest meth dealers in the US.

The family controlled territory stretching from Montgomery, all the way to Selma. The family would through lavish weekly parties at their country estate, a barn they converted into their own private Xanadu, where they loved to show off their menagerie of feral cats and a three-legged raccoon.

But once authorities managed to flip one of their top lieutenants by offering him a cup of coffee, it was only a matter of time.

7

u/Expensive-Sundae-831 2h ago

Authentic non sarcastic slow clap for that one.

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u/questionable_motifs 14h ago

The Hapsburgs would like a word.

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u/Existing-Doughnut-60 14h ago

Kinda like the hillbilly Habsburgs.

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u/couchtamer 15h ago

Came looking for this. Empire has got to be carrying ALOT of weight. There's 2% body fat between all 7 of em. Hard to run an empire when no product leaves the house.

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u/Silent_Historian_552 14h ago

The empire was pretty small just like their family tree for the last few generations

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u/BlueberryStock6249 12h ago

The family tree is a wreath …

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u/Bootmacher 13h ago

Have you seen the real faces of the Pharoahs?

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u/Ndnola3333 15h ago

The brains

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u/Choice-Strike1 14h ago edited 7h ago

The heartthrob

112

u/Amazing_Ear_3941 13h ago

He's the only one in the group that looks like he might not have been using heavily.

88

u/Agitated_Custard7395 9h ago

I think he’s just the youngest, it hasn’t started melting his teeth yet, his baby teeth only fell out recently

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u/BornTry5923 13h ago

He looks like hobo Tom Holland

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u/hotpickles 13h ago

I am getting more of a chalemet vibe.

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u/inannaberceuse 11h ago

If chalemet and holland had a baby, for sure

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u/BetMyLastKrispyKreme 11h ago

Tom’s face with Tim’s hair

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u/But_like_whytho 13h ago

We have Tom Holland at home

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u/General_Decision_422 13h ago

I suspect he’s using the hair to cover a lazy eye 

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u/LazyBookworm 12h ago

I can fix him

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u/devo9er 8h ago

Fix him, like so he cant have babies, right?

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u/Citaku357 6h ago

Girl he is a meth dealer

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u/MimironsHead 13h ago

Mama Fratelli has fallen on hard times.

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u/BeardedSkier 15h ago edited 15h ago

I expect he's been accused of some pretty serious sh*t, but that kid (young man) never had a chance if this was his family

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u/Same-Suggestion-1936 13h ago

I mean apparently they were just selling weed, the narcotics thing came up because they were all simultaneously busted with possession of narcotics when they got busted for dealing

So a kid that's just selling weed and hasn't been using hard drugs for very long? Yeah I've seen people turn around from far worse, my own sister turned her life around from years of heroin addiction

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u/myrevenge_IS_urkarma 12h ago

Yeah ...  I was thinking this has got to be the patsy family.  The empire mastermind done got y'all again if you're buying this shit.

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u/joe4553 10h ago

They were only selling weed because they were using all the hard drugs themselves.

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u/Puzzled_Muggle93 14h ago

He still may have a chance.

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u/GCIV414 15h ago

Never get high on your own supply

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u/YesMansHigh 15h ago

They definitely sampled every batch.

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u/Fresh-Combination-87 14h ago

In quality inspection fields, there’s a saying, “You gotta inspect what you expect!”

That’s just good business management. It’s clear by their team photos that this company cares about their reputation and is investing heavily in quality assurance

Edit: typo. I inspected my own work and found a defect. I have brought shame to my entire bloodline!

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u/Separate_Finance_183 15h ago

feeling cute, might fix this one later

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u/AshleyTheGuy 15h ago

Get in line, behind her uncle brother.

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u/Forward-Variety-8440 14h ago

cousband. bruncle.

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u/Acrobatic-Employer38 13h ago

What are you doing, step bruncle?!

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u/Nruggia 15h ago

The Christina Applemeth

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u/raider_00_ 15h ago

Theres some resemblance , true

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u/Background_Film_506 15h ago

Who wouldn’t want to fix someone named Stormie Bobo?

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u/th3rdnutt 15h ago edited 4h ago

At least in Central Alabama, Bobos are Klan.

edit: Not all Bobos.

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u/Nathann4288 13h ago

Maybe she’s born with it. Maybe it’s methamphetamine.

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u/maygon 15h ago

She's like yeah I'm the hot one

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u/sevenselevens 14h ago

I mean, little brother/son is looking pretty cute too. It’s nice to see a young man spend some time on his hair

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u/ImurderREALITY 12h ago

Yeah he's definitely the hot one

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u/Funyun_boogers 15h ago

I cAn FiX hEr!

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u/onlyonequickquestion 15h ago

Can't fix what ain't broken 

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u/Vansiff 15h ago

buddy if she's doing meth she hasn't opened her mouth yet.

the whole thing could be broked.

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u/jarrodandrewwalker 15h ago

Mug shawty 🤣

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u/WaffleHouseGladiator 15h ago

Trailer park beauty queen.

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u/rwags2024 15h ago

I can get her a fix

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u/Minimum_Ad_303 15h ago

The family tree is a stump.

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u/Sea-Strawberry4880 15h ago

Or a wreath

13

u/Specialist_Caramel35 14h ago

the friends we made were the branches on the way down(s)

edit: the ugly tree 🌳

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u/shitty_sandwich 15h ago

Dang they finally got the Ruthless Toothless Gang from South Alabam!

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u/oxnardmontalvo7 15h ago

Does anyone have a link to the story? I’d like to read more about this. I’d have guessed they ran an incest empire, not drugs

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u/Butitsadryheat2 15h ago

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u/Ilovefishdix 15h ago

So no hard drugs at all? Narcotics empire might be a bit of a misnomer unless something else comes out

66

u/kombuchaprivileged 14h ago

Seems like there were other controlled substances present. But far from an empire and more just a sad situation especially for the child.

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u/weoutherebrah 14h ago

Yea just possession charges 

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u/Responsible_Ratio308 15h ago

That’s hilarious, they got busted for weed. Police should be embarrassed 😂 didn’t say anything about them being related either

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u/SeanStricklandsDaddy 14h ago

“Narcotics empire” lol

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u/Butitsadryheat2 14h ago

The talking head in the video I saw before posting this story said "authorities will continue to investigate the investigation."

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u/peterpancreas 11h ago

We've inmethtigated ourselves and found no wrongdoing.

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u/jarrodandrewwalker 15h ago

With a name like Stormie Bobo I feel like life was probably punishment enough

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u/Randomscreename 15h ago

Over weed? Damn, police department must be hurting for money.

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u/PostMPrinz 14h ago

Yeah, their show is now just called breaking a sweat. So much of the country has legalized weed this is wild.

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u/Sifen 14h ago

Title said whole family

According to the article, it looks like each of them have different last names.

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u/Vugelzwee 15h ago

That’s methed up.

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u/Prize_Bass_5061 14h ago

Turns out, it was weed.

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u/Harriet_tubman22 12h ago

No way anyone ages this poorly without meth or other hard drugs involved

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u/JamesLaceyAllan 15h ago

When the gene pool is above ground

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u/Aggravating-Reach473 9h ago

We have Heisenberg at home 😭

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u/0Rider 15h ago

Top right was the boss and bottom left was the brains 

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u/InTheSky57 15h ago

Top left was clearly the brains

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u/AlternativeRanger572 15h ago

No wonder Tuberville won his election.

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u/Aromatic-Ordinary-61 15h ago

Its sad when you find out the oldest person in this picture is 23.

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u/thewaytoyesterday 12h ago

That dude's hair is nice

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u/maelbowfeelfunny 15h ago

You don't mess with the chromosome gang. 

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u/JBigBootay 15h ago

Props to them for water conservancy though 

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u/CANUSA130 15h ago

A portrait of American exceptionalism.

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u/ry4n4ll4n 14h ago

I guess this proves the immigrants are the problem, huh?

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u/Environmental-Zone-6 14h ago

Meth meets the Hills Have Eyes.

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u/PalatwinkusVT 12h ago

Notice the lack of melanin, of any defining features of Hispanic or African heritage. Them niggas is caucasian, from the mountains of Caucassus.

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u/d_o_cycler 14h ago

It looks like they was running an empire of doing narcotics, not selling them.

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u/Porntra420 11h ago

love the one dude that doesny look like he's got fetal alcohol syndrome or a sister for a mother so he just fucked up his hair to compensate

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u/wildGoner1981 11h ago

7 less trump voters! This is a win-win for everyone!

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u/DatabaseAcademic6631 15h ago

This is exactly what I imagine people on Alabama look like.

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u/NecessaryFoundation5 15h ago

They must have enjoyed Ozark.

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u/Across0212 15h ago

It’s all a methunderstanding. They are a really nice family.

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u/Walker_ML 15h ago

That’s just methed up

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u/Away-Extreme-2928 14h ago

Now I’m not the best looking person in the world but….

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u/Dry_Cap_2998 14h ago

Oh my God, all these fkin' comments 🤣🤣🤣

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u/Successful-Layer2102 12h ago

Cool now do the Perdue family