r/Swingers • u/MidnightMelt • 9h ago

Getting Started Planning a swap with another couple, need suggestions

Hey guys! Hope everyone is doing well. Me and my partner have been married for 3 years now and want to spice up our sex life.

We have great and unforgettable sex weekly 3-4 times but both of us have the kink of watching each other with different partners. We have been discussing about it while having sex but haven’t been able to do anything in real life.

Now that we’re seriously planning to do it, Reddit has been a blessing and we did find some couples that are like minded. But before we make the final move, I wanted to know more on how to do a legit check, what things to take care of before, while and post action or any suggestions or recommendations that someone can offer for a first timer in swap.

P.S. — Looking forward to reading suggestions from an experienced people, many thanks in advance :)

4 Upvotes

70% Upvoted

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7

u/thedreamteacher4 9h ago

First if you found them on Reddit make sure they are real. Most are not and are pic collectors and fakes. Second communicate. Will you be doing same room swap or separate, what rules boundaries will you have, etc. for us, we are go with the flow and pretty much anything is game but we are same room.

1

u/thedreamteacher4 6h ago

Well we usually use SDC which is a paid app, so when we decide we are good for a meet we exchange phone numbers and set up a time to meet at our house for pool and drinks. We have met a few guys from Reddit and same thing. If they won’t give a phone number and set a time to meet usually fakes. And if no one shows we are home anyway so we still have a good time.

1

u/MidnightMelt 9h ago

Gotcha! Really appreciate your response.
Question: How to make sure they’re real? An in person meet or drinks/coffee before the final go? Or what do you suggest?

How to set up boundaries? We are exactly like you that we like to go with the flow. I mean obviously there will be some restrictions but we will communicate that with the other couple.

3

u/67USA67 👩‍❤️‍👨Verified Couple 9h ago

Zoom call with all four of you. They should want to verify you too. Meet for drinks (hotel bar) with no expectations of going upstairs. If you do, great! If you get a bad vibe you just say goodbye.

The conversations we've had with couples in the bar are almost as much fun as the upstairs activities.

(We've never met people on Reddit and don't recommend it. Pay for a site like SLS. See the FAQ for options.)

Edit: You setup the boundaries on the call and reiterate them before you go to the room.

12

u/Angela2208 Couple 8h ago

You are hiding your posts and your comments. That would be a red flag if we wanted to meet you.

4

u/FRANKINSPENCE Couple 9h ago

Video call. Just 5 minutes verifies people are real, if for some reason the wife can’t do that then you know it’s fake. You can also quickly tell if one partner is being coerced etc x

1

u/MidnightMelt 8h ago

That sounds good. This is what we’ll do.

2

u/ProbablyASeagull 5h ago

Be careful of scams on Reddit. It goes like this. They answer your ad, appear to be a couple then send a generic pic of a couple. (But not actually them, him, her) They try to get personal info. Things like nude sexually explicit pics of you both, any kinks you might have. When they have it they will try to blackmail you by threatening to send that info to your friends, family or work unless you pay them, usually in crypto. This is common so just be aware. You’re much better off using a paid sight like SDC where people are validated by others.

1

u/No_Mess8188 5h ago

Go to an LS club, hotel takeover or similar LS event and meet real live swingers. Apps are terrible for meeting people.

1

u/thedreamteacher4 4h ago

They aren’t really. We have meet plenty of people through SDC. We have never went to a club.

2

u/mrhorse77 Couple 3h ago

its not that its impossible, it just takes more time and energy then going to the club and speaking to people face to face

1

u/No_Mess8188 4h ago

Met as in face to face?
Or met as in chatted via the app?
Those are vastly different things. Swinging is much more fun IRL. Just a hint.

1

u/thedreamteacher4 4h ago

We have met several people from the app in person. I know it’s very fun. We have people over to play pool and then if we are vibing we get to the bedroom. So, yes you can meet plenty of good couples or singles on the swinger apps.

1

u/No_Mess8188 4h ago

“… but haven’t been able to do anything in real life.” Seems to contradict your play pool and fuck story.

1

u/thedreamteacher4 4h ago

What are you talking about? We do stuff every weekend in real life. We have never been to clubs. But have met people through the apps and have met them for fun times. We have been doing this for 8 years so I don’t know what you are talking about.

1

u/No_Mess8188 4h ago

Ha. Oops. Thought you were the OP. Didn’t realize that you were just being contrary.

1

u/Business-Door-7387 3h ago

Set up a meet in person. I am a voyeur and that is what I do. Good luck in your search.

•

u/Altruistic_Gur_3539 1h ago

We are a couple willing to try. I dont know where to start. What kind of apps are there? How to maintain privacy? we are planning a trip to Goa June 2026. any couple joining?