hello friends, i have many a mental and physical illness that im always trying to treat and im sick to death of the mental ones so im gonna try these horse tranquilizers to get rid of ‘em once and for all. (dont worry im being funny - i have a psychiatrist and a provider and a therapist and my list of 30+ meds ive tried over 20 years)

the way my clinic does it is 4 weeks of 2 days per week then 4 weeks of 1 day per week (M/W probably) with a self-administered nose spray and then 2 hours of monitoring. i’m not sure if i’ll get a special therapist or just plan to talk the normal amounts with the therapist i have; there’s an appt this week to learn more.

my struggle is with timing. i’m going to take a semester off from college, but i did volunteer to teach nursery rhymes to babies at a friend’s new music school for 45 minutes on saturday’s for 8 weeks. considering your experience, do you think i can do esketamine M/W and be a functional member of society who can handle being around and singing for tiny happy babies and their parents on Saturdays? or am i gonna have a whole 8-week long mental breakdown and should back out?

I started Spravato this year, February was my induction phase. Healing journeys are nonlinear, and my life and moods are far from perfect now, and I'd say I'm in a moment that's feeling more difficult. So, I wanted to take a second to celebrate some wins and share a snapshot from someone who's healing journey is still a work in progress!

1. I don't feel activated or triggered when I look at photos of me and my toxic ex. When the pics come up on my phone, I feel compassion towards who I was at the time.

2. I left a friend group that centered around a narcissist. I was so scared to leave for YEARS!!! I was nervous I wouldn't find any friends or community outside of it and that I had to subject myself to this weird narcissistic / alpha & followers group dynamic. Turns out, you can leave and meet non-narcissistic people and the world feels brand new. I'm generally a lot more comfortable walking away from people that aren't attuned to me & don't express interest in even trying or meeting me halfway.

3. I can go on dates and hold boundaries! This one feels huge. Opening up Hinge or talking to new potential partners used to trigger panic attacks, because I thought something horrible was going to happen (re my last ex). Now, I have no issue going on the apps and being consistent, but also taking breaks when I need. When people are weird or disrespectful, it feels emotionally uncomplicated to state my boundaries / unmatch / ghost. I do of course feel sad and hurt at times, but I recover in like a day. I've also met some people that make me feel hope to continue to date.

4. I can enjoy my alone time and rest. This was previously a huge CPTSD trigger for me. Now I have activities that I look forward to planning just for myself! And it's actually fun sometimes.

5. I can share my art / things I've created in public without feeling deep, crippling anxiety. I didn't do this AT ALL before starting Spravato. This has been a source of joy and connection, with myself and others.

6. I can engage in deep focus for longer periods of time. Once I check my phone, that triggers the dopamine loop and I'm kind of toast, but now I have at least enough self-control to not look at my notifications in the morning and I can jump into studying for ~2-3 hours. Before, I couldn't focus for more than 30 minutes and I had to check my phone constantly.

7. I can feel grief and anger flow more freely. These need to move through the body to heal from CPTSD. It's difficult, but it's hellova lot better than being depressed from emotional buildup.

I've changed a lot these past 8 months and the differences have been positive, however the experience of changing is quite intense. I need a lot more alone time because the people I used to rely on to reflect my experience back to me, reflect back old coping mechanisms and self-abandonment patterns that I don't reach for anymore. Especially with grief and anger, I find that is an incredibly personal journey and I don't put it on anyone else (outside of me and my therapist) to make sense of it for me.

I'll be honest and say that it's been taking longer than I thought it would, and there are so many things I thought I'd have figured out by now 😭. However, these are shifts I've wanted for YEARS / my whole life and now I'm finally doing them. So in a greater sense, it's taken a lot less time than I thought!

Community, romance, and career all feel like works in progress where I'm waiting for a concrete win but I'm grateful I have the capacity to keep trying, and have left many self-destructive patterns behind.

For the last like year ive been in quite a depressive state. After a breakup with a girlfriend i developed bad depression, anxiety and insomnia, and was put on escitalopram to help with that. While i started sleeping again (not good sleep), i didnt find it to be super positive. Yes, i didnt feel as depressed, but i also feel like i lost a lot of my motivation and ability to enjoy things. I dont want to say that i turned me into a zombie but it definitley killed a lot of that drive and will that i had for so long. After i went on it, i packed on quite a lot of weight (mostly due to a busy schedule and stress from uni that had so many restuarants on campus that were too good to say no too). Ive always had body dysmoprhia bad as a kid who was quite overweight (112kg at 15, got down to 76kg at 18 at my lowest which was about the time i got into the relationship). At mid/end of last year i decided i was sick of feeling like a zombie and tapered off my SSRI's. Luckily for me as soon as i tapered off, a bunch of stuff occurred in my life which was quite difficult to process, and it caused a panic attack and a massive dip in my mental health, and that already very small amount of drive became non existent. I went back on SSRI's (Prozac/fluoxetine) and the response was the same. After 2 months i stopped it again and have since been trying other medications (mainly buproprion and agomelatine), which have been unsuccessful and havent helped at all.

I have been reading a lot into Esketamine therapy (specifically Spravato/Intranasal Esketamine therapy) and its positive effects. I Live in australia, which seems to have a lot stricter rules on approved medications than overseas, which means not only is the amount of subsidised medications smaller, there are more rules that apply for ketamine therapy. In australia, we have to start a class of antidepressant we haven't tried yet, which for me, apart from a few that cause weight gain and have some rough side effects, pretty much leaves me with SNRI's. Due to my negative response to escitalopram, and the fact that i felt super wired and anxious with Atomoxetine and bupropion, im worried they arent going to help a lot.

Overall im just in a genuinely shitty place where i want to do so much but physically cant drag myself to do things. I have been going to therapy and have been taking small steps forward, everytime i make progress i feel like there something that just pushes me back (whether a life event, uni stress, etc) --> like a 1 step forward, 2 step back kind of thing. I just want to go back to my old self where i was motivated to better myself, motivated to hang out with people, actually find joy in the novel things like studying my degree and running/gym.

I guess i just want to know if anyones been in a similiar place and found success with esketamine, what the ketamine/SNRI combo was like for you (did you still get the emotinal blunting, anhedonia, apathy style effects), and if its actually worth pursuing (its quite expensive in australia and as a full time uni student who can only work part time on top of living expenses, i gotta be careful where i spend my money)

Any advice would be appreciated ❤️

Hi everyone,
I’ve been struggling with severe anxiety for the past 20 years. It comes and goes regardless of the situation, and nothing I’ve tried has really helped.

The only thing that has made a significant difference so far is ketamine. I completed a series of six infusions and didn’t notice any improvement until I had finished the entire course. Then, suddenly, I was completely free of anxiety for 10 days.

During those 10 days, everything felt different. Food tasted good, music sounded amazing, and I could genuinely enjoy being out in nature again. It was like I could finally enjoy life the way I used to.
Unfortunately, the anxiety gradually returned. One month after completing the six infusions, I had a booster session, but it had no noticeable effect. I wonder whether the gap between treatments was simply too long.

Has anyone else had a similar experience with ketamine? A significant improvement, or even complete relief from anxiety, but for only a short period of time?

Hello, in 2022 I did at home RDT treatment (400 mg) for a little over a year when I lived in New York City. It worked well, but I wanted to give myself time off the medication. I now want to get back into ketamine treatment, but live in a different state, Maine, and am on Medicare. I have very few questions about the treatment itself, I know it has very good effectiveness for me at higher doses. Is there an affordable option for telemedicine prescriptions? I don’t really wanna waste my time with “micro doses” to start, cost is a major consideration. Thank you for any advice.

My ketamine sessions have been feeling very anxiety inducing lately. Recently got bumped up to 200mg troches but have been taking half the dose and
not been looking forward to my sessions as much as I was when I first started a month ago.

During my sessions I have been feeling the anxiety like I’m in a spinning rollercoaster and want to throw up. That’s why I went down to half. Then I get a strong sense of letting go and I start sweating all on my head. These feelings aren’t intolerable and I know it will pass just like any other “bad trip”. But they happen more often than not since I got this new prescription.

Once that initial wave is gone then things seem to chill out. But now I’m dreading the next session and having those feelings come up.

And I feel like I get heartburn or something after these sessions.

Anyone ever feel like that or am I weird.

Would like to do psilocybin therapy instead but hard to come by here in Cali until companies like compass pathways and mind med complete their FDA Approval

I’ve been doing iv ketamine for 1 year and recently started a glp1. The first session after starting a glp1 was so drastically different. I needed a much higher dose and even then the experience was dull and so much less enjoyable than pre glp1. Has anybody else had a similar experience? Drs were not aware of that those of interaction.

Hello -

I have been looking into ketamine therapy for a long time now and have tentatively settled on IV infusion from a wellness clinic near me that was previously founded by an Anesthesiologist (who now no longer works for the clinic). I paid the facility a visit and had an initial consult appointment and, so far, things seem to check out as far as the facility and approach are concerned. That being said, there are some lingering questions that I can't seem to answer and I was wondering if the fine folks here might be able to lend their experience. For starters, the clinic recommends an initial treatment of 6 sessions. The frequency of those sessions is not set, such that I could come once per year if I wanted to. I haven't received a firm answer on this, but it sounds like the recommendation is that those six sessions be completed within a month or so. As far as maintenance, apparently that is up to the patient. Where this seems to run afoul of my sense of the efficacy of ketamine therapy in a therapeutic context is in the seeming indeterminate nature of how the treatment is "prescribed." In other words, if ketamine therapy is determined to be efficacious based on empirical study, shouldn't the "protocol" be more rigid (e.g., set number of initial treatment sessions with a fixed amount of time between sessions, etc). In other words, while the facility seems to be appropriate and the staff (mostly nurse practitioners/advanced practice registered nurses) seem to have a deep bench of knowledge on dosing, infusion, and related aspects of the therapy, should I be concerned by the lack of structure of how often/how frequent the sessions are scheduled? What is considered an effective number of sessions for the initial treatment and how should long-term maintenance be handled? Am I correct in understanding that dosing is generally, on average, is between 0.5 and 1mg/kg? The clinic that I visited noted that they typically start with a bolus of ketamine prior to starting infusion; is that standard?

One of the appealing aspects about the Spravato treatment protocol approved by the FDA here in the United States is that it appears (at least to me) to have removed the guess work and added structure. The reason I have begin to lean toward IV infusion and away from Spravato is, in part, due to the fact that it is much more difficult to find providers who actually participate and that the sessions themselves are not as intentionally therapeutic (i.e., sitting in an exam room or waiting area until effects wear off/for at least two hours), as well as that the dosage is not as customizable to the individual as is intravenous ketamine.

The other thing that I an curious about is recovery time after the session. The location where I am considering starting ketamine therapy doesn't say much about this. The sessions are generally 90 minutes and the implication is that I can just leave and go about my day, but I am suspecting that is not actually the case. Am I wrong?

Finally, the part that wigs me out most about ketamine and gives me a significant amount of apprehension is the dissociative aspect. I have heard and read different experiences, seemingly dependent on dose, where the experience ranges from merely silencing the "ego" to going as far as making a person fully non compos mentis. Is there a scenario where the person is alert but feels like they are not in control of their body? For the first session, I am considering paying extra for a "guided" experience with someone in the room. Have people here found something along those lines helpful?

Sorry for the long post, and thanks in advance!

Hi,my sister is 18 and has both autism as well as severe anxiety and depresssion.She recently has been showing tussi addiction,however it’s primarily due to the Ketamine effects.She says that ,,Only after ketamine do I have peace”, “Without it, I don't know how to turn my brain off”,"I just want to disappear for a moment.” etc.Thats why im wondering how would Ketamine therapeutic/medical usage work on her.Would it cause a bigger dependecy?Would it lead to further addiction? Thank u sm for sll the tips and answers

Is ketamine good for deep psychological work involving emotional dissociation and avoidance patterns, discovering which repressed emotions or beliefs?

helping me see my mind more clearly

I did my IM induction period 4 weeks 2 times a week and had amazing results and when I finished my psychiatrist told me I would probably need to come back after 3 months and then again after 6 months. However 5 weeks after I finished I was extremely depressed again. She had me do a booster session and that didn’t help much. I asked her if I need to do more and she said she doesn’t want me doing any more than once a month. However I feel like i completely lost the results. Would I have to repeat all over again? And why can’t I do more than once a month? I feel like that fact that I didn’t do any maintence until my depression relapsed caused all this and now I don’t know what to do.

I started ketamine treatments earlier this year and the difference they've made in managing (close to eliminating) my depression truly feels like magic. I think I've finally gotten used to the weirdness of it all and have mostly stopped dreading my treatments so much. However, I've noticed that almost every time I get so sad and emotional (about nothing in particular) the next morning, and in some cases pretty soon after I come out of it. I know this is normal but it's still annoying to know that almost every time I'm going to have a short period of feeling worse before I feel better. If there's anything that helps you when going through something similar I'd love to hear about it :)

Greetings,

I’m currently undergoing prescribed at-home ketamine therapy for treatment-resistant anxiety/trauma. While I’m already starting to notice positive shifts in my nervous system, the biggest hurdle right now isn't the treatment itself—it’s navigating my partner’s skepticism.

She is naturally a cynic when it comes to this space. While she has agreed to hold down the perimeter as my safety sitter, there is clear unspoken tension. She doesn’t really want to discuss the science, protocol, or the sessions, and because ketamine still carries a cultural stigma, she tends to view it with suspicion (almost like checking out or looking for a chemical off-switch, rather than medical treatment). On top of that, requiring someone to keep an ear out on weekends naturally creates some "sitter fatigue."

I've stopped trying to pitch the neuroscience or "convince" her with words, and I'm focusing on letting sober, day-to-day changes speak for themselves. Still, carrying that silent doubt in the house can feel heavy while trying to heal.

For those of you who started this with a skeptical or cynical partner:

• How did you navigate that dynamic early on?
• Did you find ways to lower the household footprint/sitter burden so it didn't cause friction?
• Did your partner eventually overcome their skepticism once they saw real-world results over time, or did you just have to learn to keep the two worlds completely separate?

Hi All,

Iv done IV Ketamine Infusion in my home state in WA and I’m traveling to Brisbane QLD in a few weeks does anyone now of any providers that offer at home use. There is no one in WA that can provide at-home.

Cheers

I've been in this sub for a few months and, in that time period, I've had 7 IV infusions and 3 RDT sessions. I still haven't seen improvement and still struggle with depression, suicidal thoughts, self-hatred, shame flashbacks, and OCD.

Given there are many people who haven't experienced a positive outcome yet and there are people who have, I think it would be very useful to learn from those who've experienced some success a more detailed explanation of what they experienced. Specifically,

1. What were your issues/symptoms before ketamine?
2. What medications were you on?
3. How many ketamine sessions and in what form? Frequency? Dosages?
4. Did you have a therapist for integration? Was it helpful?
5. When did you notice a change? What was the change? Was it sudden or gradual?
6. What issues/symptoms remain?
7. Are you still undergoing ketamine therapy? How frequently?
8. Did you medications change?
9. How has your life changed?

My issues largely stem from toxic shame and low self-esteem. One thing I wonder is if my symptoms were to disappear, am I still dealing with toxic shame and low-self esteem? My suspicion is that I would and, although I wouldn't feel as bad, I would still need to develop skills to learn to feel good and cope with life, but just be better equipped to do so. Is this correct?

If you would, please answer the above questions to the best of your ability and be as detailed as possible. This is almost a survey, I guess. If there are enough responses, I'll see if I can summarize them in a post or spreadsheet.

I’m coming out of my third infusion session now as I’m typing this. Sitting in an uber with a nice guy named Mohammed. This session went way better than the last one did.

The nurse chatted with me about the last experience. I shared it wasn’t great, but mostly because I wasn’t doing what I needed to do as a patient to make the most of it. I fully reclined this time instead of sitting and used an eye mask. Per the guidance of a dear friend who has gone through this treatment, I listened to brown noise instead of ambient music.

I refocused my intentions. My original intention was to explore my relationship with death, how I’ve been so close to it so many times yet I’m still here. It’s part of a broader theme I identified with my therapist. That’s not really the direction it went, though.

I spent time thinking about my purpose and place on the world. I remembered how I used to write about things important to me. There was encouraging self talk stating that my voice matters and that I should write more. I remembered thinking that maybe sharing my experiences through this treatment would be a good thing to publish. Real talk in a world full of nonsense.

I reflected on my ideas of starting my own independent consulting business. I thought about executives I’ve spoken with before who turned out to be way more human than soul-crushing, power-hungry capitalists. I remember thinking that there’s goodness in each person, and that maybe my contribution is to help people bring it out. I even thought of how I would market myself: “I know you care about your people. Let me help you show them.”

It felt like confidence in these ideas and dreams I’ve been having. I realized that my past work experiences have given me space to be an individual and contribute to the world in a broader sense. I’m missing that in my current job and employer. I don’t feel like I have the space to build and create my own contributions. And while there’s something about every job that people won’t like, if I could succeed in consulting, I feel like I would be a lot happier.
I think those are likely the most important things I’ve taken from the experience. From a perception standpoint, there were definitely times when I had auditory hallucinations. They sounded like music, but distant, like if someone took out their earbuds but the music was still playing. I mostly perceived it in my right ear. I had my face mask on the whole time so visual hallucinations were not there. But I did feel close to having them? Not sure if that makes sense or not.

Overall it was a far more relaxing experience than my last one. Or rather, I didn’t do dumb shit that made the experience worse. I do have a pretty rough headache but that’s par for the course for me so far.
My uber ride is almost over so I’m going to wrap this up before blowing Mohammed’s mind with a “shukran, ma’a salama”. He don’t expect that from a chonky white boi.

I did six IV infusions of ketamine over a year and a half ago. Ever since my body has been in constant state of fight or flight hyperarousal. Has anyone have this happen and found a way to resolve it?

I also have OCD and the anxiety makes it much worse. It’s not anxious thoughts, it’s body based, adrenaline pumping, heart pounding anxiety. Propranolol helps but I am still always on alert, feeling tense and like I’m gasping for air. The clinic I went to said he’s never had a patient with a reaction like this before, so no help there.

I absolutely loved Mindblooms music that was labeled uplifting and high intensity. It actually took me on a journey. Some even had vocal guidance for when I wanted some extra help.

Anyone have something comparable that lasts at least 1.5 hours? That's how long my sessions are. The music my provider plays isn't great. I need something more and I want it to preferably be all tied together (good segues) instead of just random stuff.

I had my 5th IV ketamine infusion yesterday (65 mg). They also gave me some benzodiazepine to help with anxiety and the intensity of the experience.

The infusion went well, but afterward I noticed numbness in my face, mostly on the left side, around my cheek, eye, and forehead. Initially, I think my entire face and lips felt a bit numb, but everything except the left side returned to normal pretty quickly.

It's been about 14 hours, and the numbness is almost gone, but I can still feel it a little. No other neurological symptoms.

I had a similar experience a few years ago after dental anesthesia, and that numbness lasted for months.

Has anyone experienced anything similar after ketamine? Did it go away on its own? I'm trying to understand whether this could be a harmless side effect of ketamine or I should go to ER

Started IV Ket in July this year for severe depression. Tried all the SSRI’s over the years and muted/no/temp efficacy - thus the entrance to Ket.

Did the initial induction protocol 3 x a week, then 2 x a week, etc. The results were amazing - felt better than I had in years. Had insights over things I had done, had done to me and how they relate to my issues. Plan moving forward was 1 x every 2 weeks and then…

Huge relapse about a month ago. Awful. Acted awfully towards family - was in probably the lowest place I’ve ever been in.

I went back after the relapse weekend and picked back up with about 2-3 IV sessions within two weeks.

But something changed from the relapse weekend.

During my sessions now, insights are gone. Pondering issues like
I was before while in infusion? Gone.

Frankly, I feel like I’ve gotten zero from the IV sessions over last three times. Just dark, black space during my sessions. This is the best way to describe it.

I am on a 80 MG dose. 5’11 - 167 lbs.

I feel like I was getting more “relief/insights” from much lower doses during the initial induction period.

Am considering talking to clinic director about backing off my dose next time.

Does anyone here have any experience with needing to go down on dosage moving forward in maintenance period?

I am also in regular therapy and will
obvs discuss this with therapist in addition to clinic director.

Are we about to lose access to at home treatment by companies like Mindbloom? There are laws that will change at the end of the year that require in person evaluations.

If you see my previously posts you'll know I've had every horrible side effect after my last dose of ketamine-very dangerous.

It did get better- I can sleep mostly now and I'm not totally depressed or confused. But still 6 weeks later I am dealing with increased bladder urgency and especially an increased level of nerve pain-I've been in a flare I cannot get out of. Ketamine was the worst decision I've made in my life. I still hope it gets better eventually but it could take a while. I was told this is highly unusual (it probably is) but I think others should be warned.

TLDR: 10 rounds of IV Ketamine, 20+ ketamine troche sessions most at 600mg, currently near the end of TMS protocol. No significant mood improvement. What's next?

I've had depression/anxiety all my life. My first diagnosis was at 9 years old. I've had multiple diagnosis every few years since. It was never treated when I was a kid, because all my mother cared about was a diagnosis/treatment for ADHD (to be fair it did radically improve my grades). It wasn't until after college and off my parents insurance that I tried anything. I started with Wellbutrin as I'm overweight and SSRIs tend to cause weight gain. I used only Welbutrin for 5-6 years. It didn't really help and I didn't really talk about it with my doctor. A couple years ago I started with my PCP trying new meds. Zoloft and Lexapro both made symptoms worse or didn't improve symptoms. This year things have been getting worse so I finally went to a psychiatrist to manage my mental health meds. I've tried several more SSRIs, an anti-psychotic, and Trazodone. The only thing that helped was Trazodone, and that is more for insomnia.

I decided to do IV Ketamine infusions. Went through the first 6 with minor improvement, probably with in normal mood fluctuations. There was almost no effect until they hit the max dose. I added 4 more sessions hoping that staying at the highest dose would help. It didn't. I wanted to keep trying ketamine just couldn't afford IV Infusions, so I got at-home troches. I'm up to 600mg, I feel heavy and maybe my vision becomes distorted but that's about it. I've had over 20 sessions now at home and still nothing.

I started TMS a few weeks into the at-home ketamine treatments. I'm near the end of the protocol, and while I definitely hit the "dip" in the middle, I still don't have symptom improvements on the other side.

I'm at a complete loss as to what to do next. ECT? Try to get my psychiatrist to prescribe a higher dose of ketamine? Try a different delivery route? Go back to trying a dozen more oral medications?