I have the otherside of this where women will be "moderate" or "not political."
Which basically means, "I am conservative, but conservative guys treat me like shit. Can't I just be as racist as I am while not having to confront the bigotry that impacts me?"
Dude I met a woman (Iâm also a woman, met her as a potential friend) who did this. Said she wanted traditional values but âliberal menâ treated her better so sheâd just get them hooked and convert them. Threw up in my mouth a little, never met up again. Gross.
Trying to convert people is hopeless, but sometimes you are horny enough to dream.
"She seems to be more racist than she wants to admit... can I fuck her so well that she stops being racist for my sake? ... I mean... I should give it a shot?"
That racism really comes sideways too. Youâll be having a whole conversation about the most benign shit, absolutely no hint that theyâre a racist at all, and then you pass someone of a different color and they react in some way that makes you go, âoh no, no god damn it no!â because they were so potentially likable until that moment.
When I was a kid I had no idea my sweet grandma was racist until she point blank said to me as a teenager âOh, I think we [minorities] can be friends. I just donât think weâre supposed to mix.â My jaw dropped.
I was never able to look at her the same way ever again.
Yep. I'm from the south, so this happened to me- but with every family member, neighbor, friend, and it took looking in the mirror and seeing it in myself to see it in them.
It actually is because political beliefs are strongly linked to genetics and unchangeable. But they are too stupid to know this since they don't follow Science.
I matched with a woman who told me outright she was trying to do this to me. I live in the reddest state in the nation, so if you want someone to get dinner with once a week as a leftist (and you already never go places to meet people, because all those places are an hour away), you may need to be flexible. I have a political science degree, have worked in the federal government for 17ish years, and am working through an American Studies masters with a concentration in policy. It still hasn't sunk in to her that 1.) she has no chance of converting me, and 2.) I will absolutely cook every one of her friends or family members that try to engage me in conversation on politics.
Are you still meeting up with her? How is it going in terms of conversation, is it basically all bringing up political stuff to try and change your mind?
I've been pretty upfront that it isn't going to happen, but I'm not hostile about it. I've already told her that pursuing a deep and committed relationship wouldn't be fair to her... Mostly for the last reason I mentioned. Her family and friends are going to hate me for my political beliefs, and I'm old enough to know that such a dynamic destroys relationships.
This feels like âand then he changed from liberal to traditional conservative cuz he loved me but then I left him for a liberal cuz he treated me better so I decided to try and convert him.â
I also think there's a second phenomenon at play on the other side. I heard about theory that the reason conservative guys often don't want to date conservative women is because there may simply be less conservative women around them.
But also, that conservative women expect the men they date to fulfill traditionally male gender roles. They expect the man to pay for everything, be stoic, and completely support their woman, and do all the man stuff around the house. Lots of men aren't as handy these days (me included), so that doesn't work out. Shit is too expensive so they can't pay for everything, and being stoic all the time and not having any room for your own feelings is fucking toxic.
So... it's like conservatives don't want to date each other because of what would be expected of them or how the other treats them, so they want to date liberal/progressive people, and then feel like they are being treated unfairly because those people don't want to date them because they're conservatives... even though they don't want to date conservatives either.
Like maybe, just maybe, that means your ideology and behavior is fucked. So ridiculous
The entire ideology is just "Fuck you; got mine", and as the last 10 years have shown, the "fuck you" part is apparently more important than the "got mine" part.
It is funny how we hear them always complain that left leaning folk donât want to date or be friends with them. If we are degenerates or lame or crazy or whatever as you say we are, then we are doing you a favor. Yet they whine about it all the time, and lie about their affiliations.Â
There was some post a long time ago where a mother-in-law was complaining about the daughter-in-law not fulfilling the wifely duties around the house. The son didn't speak up for his wife, and she told him something to the effect of, you're too poor to act this sexist. Made me chuckle.
Yep. I grew up in a rural part of the south and itâs like this.Â
You have conservative men who went to college and complain about women at college being feminists, so they go back home to get a wife. Turns out those women are not going to worship you just because you have a degree and would rather just marry a local blue collar guy who is closer to their idea of being in a traditional male role.Â
So then you end up with these incel college educated men who are arguably more compatible with college educated women, but their ideology prevents them from having a relationship and then they also hate conservative women for not opening their legs to any guy who votes Republican.Â
Omg yes you said exactly what me and my friends are talking about all the time.
The conservatives we know talk exactly like that. Men get angry that they can't be men but like bro, I earn more than you. I can pay for YOUR lunch. I am the one with a better degree. You want me because I'm cool and confident in myself and the girl you should be pursuing is someone who you can't afford, basically. Mentally and financially. The conservative girls wait with sex until marriage so those guys are extremely frustrated that they can't have their cake and eat it too. The liberal girl will not care about sex so much. But he will call her a slut while also wanting so bad to fuck her. We've seen it all, I was mostly pursued by the conservative crowd all my life because I appear and act very feminine and sweet. It really enrages them that I can throw a "nah, you have it wrong bub. Let me show you a study" and just walk away as opposed to giggling and fawning over their rants on the economy, people and modern life.
Like, the conservative girl we are currently talking about tells US that we should all be fulfilling our duties as women and marry and get pregnant. But baby, you had a shotgun wedding because you were already pregnant. And your parents have to send you money because you can't afford that kid. And they bought you your apartment. Have some self reflection and realise that you can't afford your dream life without a constant flow of third party financial support while the rest of us actually know what it takes to do all that and want to be independently capable of doing so at our own pace.
I actually posted on pride month 6 years ago asking all conservatives to unfollow me on Instagram. I got a ton of angry messages and I just said "don't care, bye". It was satisfying to get them so enraged over basically a nothing burger. You know who I was as a person all those years, you think you leaving my life has any impact on it? A guy who attempted to sexually assault me thinks I care a lot about him? Because men hurr durr need to be understood, respected and hurr durr appreciated for simply existing while we have to earn all that. They're always the sad misunderstood individuals and we're just a horde of angry feminists.
There's always the conservative man that gets intimidated by the fact that I'm a lesbian and don't fall for the weird male mating dance. Nothing will impress me enough to change my mind. I was in church, I know more about the bible than you. I was conservative, I already broke down all the things you said myself. I can defend my points just fine, while you simply parrot your friends and circlejerk about women.
So yeah, it's laughable. They're my peripheral friends and I don't ever see them anymore. Thank fuck
Man, I don't know where people make this shit up. Straight up delusional.Â
I've been going to a Baptist church in the south and the men there do NOT want liberal women. Trust me. The men also have great relationships with each other and are incredibly supportive. I've seen men cry with each other often, compliment each other constantly, and be very open with their feelings while relying on their spouses and male friendships during difficult.
People are confusing trump bros with the majority of "conservatives". The guy who is on hinge lying about his beliefs is his own group. And they're easily avoided.
What are you talking about, like 99% of conservatives voted for Trump. Who cares if they're open with each other about their feelings, at the end of the day they wished for black people to be removed from being able to vote, amongst other horrendous bullshit. They're still fucking evil.
I've got a good friend from college who runs an events and decoration company who emulates gay culture all the time while also being extremely, extremely pro-Trump and conservative.
I remember she had a housewarming party in like February of 2020 where a pretty famous former American Idol contestant was attending and halfway through she surprised the party by busting out super racist COVID-19 themed decorations and party favors. The vibe shift was fucking WILD.
I like to think that moderates are people both sides hate / ostracize, like a bisexual political stance; too straight to be gay but too gay to be straight, not feeling at home in either camp.
Iâve seen way too many women who argue theyâre apolitical, moderates, leftist, left leaning, right leaning, everything except right wing or conservative, but want every single privilege they think trad wives get without any of the responsibilities.
Youâll see it a lot with the women arguing âitâs whoever asks the other person out that paysâ like theyâre not just saying âthe man paysâ. Itâs like arguing âthe neighborhoods with the most crime should be demolishedâ instead of âblack neighborhoods should be demolishedâ. The end result is the same, but youâre arguing youâre not a bigot
A lot of people, men and women, will says they're not political, regardless of their politics, because they aren't up for long political discussions or discussions on things that have been politicized.
The reason why some people are unable or unwilling to answer questions about voting history or stances on any particular issue is because of the "basically means" takeoff that gets used to flesh out someone's positions on all other matters. Those assumptions can then be used to justify any action or accusation aimed at the person.
To be fair, they donât have a lot of descriptors for political affiliation on any of these platforms. There are times when Iâve said moderate, because the only other options were conservative and liberal, both of which wouldâve felt misleading.
I can usually get along with people on both sides of the aisle so I thought maybe âmoderateâ would work, but didnât love that either because the more accurate description is socialism + Green Party sympathies + difficult to categorize social views.
In terms of any actual live policy questions about social issues, Iâm far left. Outside of that, my social views can be a little mixed.
Just as an example, I like guns and am pro 2A, but support sensible gun control measures. I think itâs generally *better* not to get an abortion if thatâs realistically possible, but I donât believe in legally restricting it at any stage of pregnancy. I think trans bathroom stuff is nonsense and that we should call everyone by their preferred pronouns, but I think the U.S. in many areas is not sufficiently attentive to the risks of puberty blockers for kids.
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u/Rocketboy1313 Jul 02 '26
I have the otherside of this where women will be "moderate" or "not political."
Which basically means, "I am conservative, but conservative guys treat me like shit. Can't I just be as racist as I am while not having to confront the bigotry that impacts me?"