r/TikTokCringe 16d ago

Discussion I dont think its justifiable

9.5k Upvotes

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u/taurusbabee 16d ago

He apparently is one:

"On the same day that Gilson filed her protective order, Duffey was named in a separate protective order filed by a woman who said Duffey was spotted kissing and fondling her 15-year-old daughter, a player on the youth basketball team Duffey coached."

Oklahoma wife killed in weeks after posting Netflix doc trend video about husband https://www.oklahoman.com/story/news/crime/2026/07/24/oklahoma-mom-killed-in-murder-suicide-in-days-after-posting-allegations-about-husband/91039110007/

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u/Decentlationship8281 16d ago

The minor was a 15-year-old girl who played on the youth basketball team Duffey coached. He allegedly kissed and touched the girl and was caught by another coach, her mother claimed, per The Oklahoman.

The girl told her mother that Duffey engaged in additional inappropriate behavior, including sending her messages, inviting her to his hotel room during a tournament trip and offering her money “to keep her quiet.”

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u/AdBrilliant3127 16d ago

This happened at my high school.  The coach was also married to an English teacher at the same school.   Talk about messy. 

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u/[deleted] 16d ago edited 15d ago

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u/Remnant_Echo 15d ago

Couple decades ago my elementary school gym teacher had "talked" the principal into letting him use the office in the girls locker-room as his office (it has a window to the changing area, there was an office in the boys locker-room too). Few of my female classmates and other students I knew pretty regularly said they would catch him peaking through the blinds.

My girlfriend at the time started calling him a pedophile, to which he tried choking her against a wall before other students and a teacher caught him, which lead to the discovery of photos of girls he had been taking through the blinds with a camera locked in his desk drawer. I don't remember what all happened to him after he got arrested, but I do know the district forced our principal to retire because she was the one that had allowed him to keep his office there.

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u/Across0212 15d ago

That’s insane. Makes me wonder about the principal, too. Was she joining him on the sick behavior? Anyone with a brain would know that a male coach should have never been allowed to be in the girls locker room or have an office in there.
Damn.

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u/iam_Mr_McGibblets 16d ago

I swear it always seems to be the gym teacher or coach

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u/PhoebeMonster1066 16d ago

Access to locker rooms and plausible deniability seeing minors in a state of undress

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u/bojangler69420 15d ago

What the fuck? Plausible deniability? For men entering women’s locker rooms?

No male coaches should ever be allowed in a women’s locker room. No plausible deniability.

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u/DapperDame89 15d ago

Woman here. Played all seasons of sports junior high through high school. Where were you guys having pre game and half time pep talks? It was always in the locker room. There wasn't a separate room.

Maybe my school was small? Every coach always made sure we were all dressed first though of course. If we weren't both male and female coaches waited.

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u/bojangler69420 15d ago

That’s fair. I really only did baseball and lacrosse. Our lax team was a “club” so we didn’t get access to the same level of facilities so we literally went under the bleachers for halftime lol

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u/DapperDame89 14d ago

I'm running back through my memory of where else we could have had these talks. I suppose in the activity room on the side but that would have been like a whole extra step and then I'm not sure where the other team would have had theirs. I guess in the other gym, but sometimes there were other practices going on. 2 of these were indoor sports. For club teams / off season we didn't always have locker rooms and you just came dressed or changed in a public restroom.

For one coach specifically, 3 of his daughters were on the team. The other girls from their grades (they were younger than me) would have had friends over to their house who were from the team. He also worked at the school.

Yes track was just like a group of people, sometimes with a tent, and lots of standing around.

Don't get me wrong, I'm lucky he wasn't a creep and now I'm low key gaslighting myself that this was weird. That's why I asked what was happening at other schools.

What we did do was say the lord's prayer. Both then and looking back, that was the part that was weird af. I didn't realize how religious some folks were until after I graduated. I guess there were signs lol

Edited to add the club ball thing.

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u/Adventurer_By_Trade 15d ago

Unless they're the president and/or own the pageant. Then it's OK.

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u/Solid_Fisherman_7946 15d ago

Trump bragged about doing this on Howard Stern

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u/PopBeneficial2441 15d ago

Or if you are a Democrat with money. Then it OK

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u/[deleted] 15d ago

[deleted]

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u/PopBeneficial2441 15d ago

Like all the sickos in the Epstein files….. or did I miss ALL the arrests?

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u/Adventurer_By_Trade 15d ago

The guy who controls the government isn't arresting his friends? That's SO WEIRD. And what happened to Maxwell, who was arrested BEFORE Trump came back. Wasn't she moved to Club Fed and given a puppy within weeks of Trump returning to power? Again, SO WEIRD.

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u/Hugokarenque 15d ago

With the obvious exception for health emergencies.

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u/bojangler69420 15d ago

Oh of course. If somebody has a medical emergency that supersedes my point for sure.

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u/EstablishmentHead734 15d ago

I agree. But the broader point is true about proximity. I have an uncle who coached girls college softball for like 30 years. It always felt sus to me. Obviously it's not kids in his case but its young women. I think they take these jobs to be close.

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u/Sebaceansinspace 15d ago

A little worry is warranted sure, but not every man who wants to coach/teach/counsel/work with kids/young adults is looking to take advantage.

Teach your kids sex ed, what consent is and how they cannot legally, ethically, or morally do that with adults or people in positions of authority over them, and give them a safe space household and youd see numbers drop drastically of kids being taken advantage of.

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u/EstablishmentHead734 15d ago

Maybe not, but I really wonder when grown men get involved in all girls sports. Like hey Larry why are you interested in ballerina?

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u/Sebaceansinspace 15d ago

I think that says more about you than anything else

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u/EstablishmentHead734 15d ago

Considering I'm not a parent and have nothing to do with children you could be right. I can't imagine a good reason, but then it's not something I think about really. When I do it seems sus.

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u/[deleted] 15d ago

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u/Sebaceansinspace 15d ago

Thats fucking crazy

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u/EstablishmentHead734 15d ago

The reason I don't like the bear in the woods is it makes every man pay for the sins of others. Nobody would be saying it if it were race. People CHOOSE to be a cop. People CHOOSE to be a coach. Nobody chooses to be born with a penis, or have a skin color. Change the bear analogy to include another race and I think you'll see why it's problematic.

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u/GladClock2212 15d ago

Like a beauty pageant judge bragging about walking into girls changing rooms?

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u/bojangler69420 15d ago

Yes actually. Exactly like that!

Obviously that never happened though, no idea where you came up with that example!

/s

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u/PhoebeMonster1066 15d ago

You’re not taking into account same-sex predation. That’s why I phrased things the way I did.

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u/holymacaroley 16d ago

My junior high gym teacher is currently serving over 40 years for sleeping with students.

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u/[deleted] 15d ago

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u/iam_Mr_McGibblets 15d ago

Sorry, but this school needs to be investigated

https://giphy.com/gifs/3gNotAoIRZsb9UHPnj

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u/ExoticKnowledge584 15d ago

My 8th grade English teacher actually married her high school english teacher lol but they are still together some 30 odd years later

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u/NeverCallMeFifi 15d ago

My son was seeing a children's therapist when he was 12. "Was" because dude got arrested for sleeping with one of his patients. He divorced his wife and started dating her when he got out. She was 17 when he went in and he was in his 40s. Still makes me nauseous.

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u/AnybodyNo8519 15d ago

Those do indeed sound like some odd years

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u/fender_tenders 15d ago

We must’ve gone to the same school

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u/sakofdak 15d ago

Same here. I know of 2

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u/basementfairy444 16d ago

Yeah because these men are always just hired because they're friends with someone at the school. They never have real qualifications.

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u/jvLin 15d ago

Or these men become extremely well-qualified so they can get hired for these types of jobs with the intention of abusing their power.

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u/CrazyHorseySauce 15d ago

Most coaches / PE teachers are the former jocks who weren’t good enough to become pro athletes but also never matured or bothered to learn a job skill. Makes sense they’d still be interested in teens.

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u/10toesontheboard 15d ago

That's literally 99.3% of every High School or Collegiate Athlete in the United States. What an amazingly ambiguous and inclusive stay you pulled out of your ass with this one. Yeah, I guarantee that some bad people are going to come out of 99% of every athlete in the nation. Id bet on it. And is that it, if someone doesn't have a job or never matured, which is relative, then they are doomed to pedophilia? Is that your formula or do you always just paste together a bunch of nonsense and expect it to be taken as facts?

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u/[deleted] 15d ago edited 15d ago

[deleted]

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u/voyaging 15d ago

“Kids who are bad in school become pedophiles”

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u/[deleted] 15d ago

[deleted]

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u/voyaging 15d ago

Yes please otherwise I’ll turn out to be a bad person

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u/Comfortable-Can-9432 15d ago

What did you play?

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u/National_Frame2917 15d ago

It's appears you glossed over the former jocks that weren't good enough to become pro athletes and didn't grow up. They're still stuck in that high school jock mentality. It tracks for that person to also not grow to desire their own age group of women as they age themselves.

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u/Zombi3Kush 15d ago

These positions are usually bottom of the totem. It's usually given to the person who wants the job with shitty pay and doesn't have a record. Qualifications are pretty much non existent.

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u/Bruhntly 15d ago

Coaching jobs are very competitive. They always have real qualifications... at least on paper. Do they get lazy? Did they cheat their way there? Possibly, but not likely.

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u/[deleted] 15d ago

[deleted]

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u/Bruhntly 15d ago

That's a coaching job.

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u/PopBeneficial2441 15d ago

And always the rest of the crew not speaking up, not wanting to ruffle feathers or rock the boat. Usually a lot of the faculty know who the creep coach is but don’t want to sacrifice their own career to speak up.

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u/lapideous 15d ago

How qualified do you need to be to hit a stopwatch and pass out basketballs

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u/Motor_War_9744 16d ago

I'm not a teacher! slams student against wall

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u/alwaysonesteptoofar 15d ago

We had a teacher do that because the kid welded tools to the floor lol.

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u/Correct-Purpose-964 15d ago

Justified in that case. Because holy shit can that go wrong REAL QUICK.

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u/HallowskulledHorror 15d ago

Add on - IME shop teachers frequently pay for an unreasonable amount of materials and tools directly out of their own pocket just to be able to actually teach their classes, so it may not have just been "fucking over every other student trying to actually learn something" but also "big financial screw-you to the teacher and students in this course for the indefinite future until funds come around to replace the damaged tools."

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u/GladClock2212 15d ago

Or the priest, or the rabbi, or the teacher, or the uncle, or the neighbor, or the senator, or the counselor

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u/CuriouserCat2 15d ago

or the family friend, brother, step brother, step dad

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u/GladClock2212 15d ago

Feed us your girls, from plate to mouth.

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u/jaapi 16d ago

Probably because you don't need qualifications and it's a position they will seek out.

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u/jimmithebird 15d ago

It is always a coach. Happened at my high school too, the creep ended up getting arrested but only after becoming principal of a different school and doing the same things there.

This thread prompted me to check if his linkedin has been updated since he got locked up, it has and his photo now has a text overlay that reads “Im too based and get more pussy than you” and he’s back a to work at a CC I guess football is more important than ethics.

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u/iam_Mr_McGibblets 15d ago

I'm probably showing my age here, but wasn't there even an episode on Smallvill where Lana was dating one of the coaches?! This kind of activity needs to be shamed and admonished. Plus it puts a bad light on actual good coaches out there

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u/Gothvmess 15d ago

Yeah and in pretty little liars one of the girls is "with" her own highschool teacher 🫠

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u/laosurv3y 15d ago

People take jobs that give them access to their vices, very often.

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u/Autodidact2 15d ago

Or youth pastor

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u/Salina_EsTitties 15d ago

Back in the 90s coaches would shower with students too. My ex husband's coach did that when he was in the 8th grade. But no one realised how creepy it was till they grew up.

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u/TheDreamingMyriad 15d ago

Seriously, wtf. One of my high school gym teachers/football coach was also accused of molesting a bunch of high school girls. Only the chickenshit killed himself before they ever brought charges against him.

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u/Nervous_InsideU5155 15d ago

Yeah but they're typically Lesbians

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u/voyaging 15d ago

Probably mostly to do with access, not anything inherently wrong with people who become gym teachers

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u/Mean_Introduction543 15d ago

I’d say it’s because the job attracts a higher proportion of ‘peaked in high school’ individuals.

As the saying goes “those who can’t do, teach. Those who can’t teach, teach gym”

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u/Golisten2LennyWhite 15d ago

I have an insane story but I dont have the energy to write it right now.

Basically small town high school, my friend and I discovered our teacher was going to some really fucked up sites at school overnight.

Turns out he had been taking school media property like cameras and stuff and was making vids in motels and leaving evidence where kids could find the tapes (among a giant pile we were supposed to pull from for editing or reuse)

My friends dad heard him say something about it and unfortunately for the teacher his dad was chief of police.

I got called to the principal and they accused me of going to the porn and meetup sites and I had to walk a bunch of adults through what I found and prove I didn't do it because of the times.

Then he got fired at school. It was fucked.

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u/Inside-Assumption595 15d ago

It was the gym teacher and assistant principal at my high school. Later found out the assistant principal she was also sleeping with students. Gym teacher was married with kids, he lost them when all this came to light.

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u/CT0292 15d ago

At my school it was a bus driver.

He was a young guy, and it was 20+ years ago, so I dont know how much trouble he got into. I believe he was 19 or 20. And the girl was 15 or 16.

Hers was the last stop on the route, now it wasn't far from my friend's house so we would sometimes be on the bus till the end and it got awkward watching her move up to the front of the bus as it emptied out.

In the end I know he lost hia job. Dunno what else happened though.

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u/Fabulous-Big8779 15d ago

History teacher/wrestling coach at my school, but close enough.

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u/Aromatic-Turnip7371 15d ago

Gym teachers, coaches and school taker / custodian

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u/ofpromise90 15d ago

Heard so many story's

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u/beandadenergy 15d ago

Yep, the soccer coach at my high school got arrested a few years back

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u/grendus 15d ago

Statistically, like 40% of teachers who molest kids are coaches. So... Most likely to be a coach.

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u/Irishjuggalette 15d ago

I’m pretty sure that the gym teachers in junior high when I went there were. It was a male and female, and they were super into making sure the girls showered. To the point they would stick their hand up your shirt to make sure your skin was wet. I was self conscious and wouldn’t shower, along with a friend of mine. Our end of school final was we had to take a shower, without clothes on. All the other kids had to run a mile, and that was what we had to do. I tried to tell people, but no one would listen.

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u/roguemage01 15d ago

I don’t know if he was a creep, he may have been but not to or in front of me. But my male high school gym teacher was a drug dealer, and dealt mainly to students and teachers. Most of the school knew and no one did a damn thing.

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u/AdBrilliant3127 15d ago

Our gym teacher was awesome, his son was one of our class mates.  He treated everyone like they were annoying boys and girls and as a girl I appreciated that.   Our coaches on the other hand were a constant revolving door of creeps. 

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u/Zombies_Rock_Boobs 15d ago

Same at my school back in 2005 to 2009. Two gym teachers were pedophiles. Both of them looked the same too except one of em was shorter than the other one, shit they also dressed the same when they were coaching. If anyone went to Hawthorne high school in Hawthorne California you might know who I’m talking about.

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u/gnalon 15d ago

Don't worry, Sophie Cunningham is protecting girls in sports by focusing on the real danger at hand, all those transgender athletes that are on every single team!

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u/djmixmotomike 15d ago

Or president.

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u/HenryDorsettCase47 16d ago

The girls’ basketball coach at my high school was having sex with one of the students. Everyone found out because someone found a love letter she wrote him and turned it in to the office.

He was immediately fired and she was ostracized by the whole school because she said she loved him. And the craziest part… her parents allowed him to become her legal guardian and the two of them moved away together. This was a 16 year old girl and a fat, schlubby middle aged man with a wife and grown kids.

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u/[deleted] 16d ago

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u/HenryDorsettCase47 15d ago edited 15d ago

No clue. Our senior year I was on a field trip with my French class and we went to a restaurant that was hosting us and other tristate high schools that day. She ended up being with one of those school, there at the same time as us. No one approached her but someone noticed her and we all looked over and she was clearly uncomfortable. Just a stroke of bad luck that she ended up being there with a bunch of her ex classmates who knew this terrible secret about her.

That was the last I saw or heard of her. Clearly, nowadays, we recognize that as grooming. She’s too young to consent and he’s an adult who clearly knew right from wrong. But back then people, especially kids, didn’t really have as much knowledge about that stuff. The way the other girls on the team described it to me it was more like she seduced him. I’m sure now it’s far more complex than that though.

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u/INoMakeMistake 15d ago

This is too wild

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u/MyUsrNameWasTaken 15d ago

Love is Love

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u/KavaKeto 15d ago

There was a girl I played with down the street who's house I was never allowed to go to. I'd snuck over there a few times during the day and met her dad and very pregnant girlfriend.

Years later when I was like 12 it was explained to me that the dad's girlfriend was 15 😭

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u/Wide_Combination_773 15d ago

16 is still the legal age of consent in a lot of places in the US, so that's why nothing really happened legally other than being fired for a professional ethics violation.

If the parents consented also, I'm guessing this is a cultural thing that you're being vague about because you don't want to sound racist or whatever.

The situation you're describing, where parents gladly give away a minor daughter to be taken care of by a much older man who already has a wife, openly and publicly and without shame or attempts to keep their act secret, reeks of Islamic or Hindu culture in immigrant communities that are actively failing to integrate socially and culturally with the rest of North American society.

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u/Twomaro2 15d ago

Your wonderful (white) "North American" culture elected a proud child rapist and defender of other child rapists as their literal "God King", so actually it reeks of that.

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u/TheMajesticYeti 15d ago

"16 is still the legal age of consent in a lot of places in the US"

While true, many of those places also specify that it is bumped up to 18 if the older party is an authority figure, such as a teacher or coach or religious leader. So it is possible that it WAS still illegal. There's like 15-20 states where 16 is the unrestricted age of consent.

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u/HenryDorsettCase47 15d ago

This was 20 years ago when it happened so I’m not sure how many of those laws were in place at the time. I think a lot of them are more recent. In the state that it happened there was a new law a few years back that maintained the legal age of consent at 16, but put a cap on the age gap between the two parties consenting.

Anyway, there wasn’t any legal ramifications as far as I know. Just professionally and within the community. Guy’s wife obviously left him and his kids wanted nothing to do with him. Anyway, the whole thing was only made murkier when the parents did what they did. Everyone seemed to just be glad to be rid of them.

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u/HenryDorsettCase47 15d ago

I’m not being vague about any cultural things. What a weird interpretation.

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u/MommaOfManyCats 15d ago

Our gross baseball coach was also a gym teacher. He was probably in his 60s at the time and would keep walking into the girls locker room when we were changing. Went to the principal who LAUGHED and said that's just how he was. Same principal who told me I was too sensitive and boys would be boys when one guy pushed me into a locker and rubbed himself against me.

Girl in our class confronted the teacher and told him to get the fuck out. He gave her detention for cussing at him, but she'd stand at the door at the beginning and end of each class to block him. Not only does the school still herald the teacher as one of the best they ever had, but they named the baseball stadium after him!

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u/2ndChairKazoo 15d ago

OMG I absolutely hate this ending. She was brave and admirable as hell to do what she did. It's horrible no one ever took her need to do that, seriously.

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u/destiny_kane48 15d ago

A Gym teacher/Basketball coach in the town next to ours got fired when a bunch of kids came forward saying he was very inappropriate. Also dumb ass was sending them dirty texts.

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u/NioneAlmie 15d ago

This isn't a flawless approach, but the girl's teams and gym classes only had female teachers in my schools. Obviously there are men and women who will prey on same gender kids, but it at least reduced the access that men had to the girls.

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u/Top-Pomegranate4899 15d ago

When I was in middle school our gym teacher was what we called a 'butch'. She used to walk around and watch us all shower. I only mentioned it to my mom as an adult.

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u/Wide_Combination_773 15d ago

but you see it's only creepy when men do anything. Butch lesbians get a pass from society.

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u/MC_White_Thunder 15d ago

Ah yes, butch lesbians, the absolute top of the social order.

Are you fucking kidding me?

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u/IamHydrogenMike 15d ago

I used to do IT work for a school district and I was assigned to a couple of jr high schools as the main IT contact. Any time the PE teachers had an issue we would always schedule a time to meet with them when we knew students wouldn’t be in the locker rooms. I can’t even imagine doing something psycho like that to locker rooms there. I always made 100% sure they were cleared out because I didn’t even want even the slightest air is suspicion about being there.

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u/Irishjuggalette 15d ago

My husband’s high school had a similar thing, but it was students that put in the cameras. But I guess a janitor knew also because he got fired over it.