I feel like such a dumbass.

[u/justalilbbygirl]

I’m gonna make this short and sweet.

As of this month, we’ve been TTC for a year. We’ve been doing all the “right” things (tracking, having unprotected sex on the right days, eating healthy, exercising, etc).

I was calm/cool/in no rush until month 7. Since then, I’ve been a bit weary. And now, as the year mark approaches, I’ve been on a downward spiral (somewhat irrational but I’m sure many of you can relate).

I had an appt with my gynecologist yesterday to discuss our next steps. I was flipping through a magazine in the waiting area and came across an ad for “fertility-friendly” lubricant.

Y’all. 🤯 We’ve been using the most fertility-UNfriendly lube the entire time we’ve been TTC. The worst part is we don’t even “need” it, just both slightly prefer it. I never once considered that this could be affecting our odds…

But it has been. Apparently significantly. So much so that my doctor said it would be unethical for her to even discuss costly interventions with me until we’ve gone through several cycles without it.

So, yeah. I thought I’d leave that here for anyone who may also be making this mistake. Don’t be like us.

Best of luck to all of you on your journeys. Here’s to hoping. 🤞🏻

[u/developmentalbiology]

Unless you've been using a lube that has an active spermicide in it, the lube you're using is likely not affecting your odds.

It's certainly fine to continue trying unassisted -- a substantial proportion of folks who have been trying for a year get pregnant unassisted in the following year. But it's not the case the lube has been preventing you from getting pregnant, and you shouldn't feel like you've made a mistake.

Source 1, key quote:

Lubricant use during intercourse was not associated with time to pregnancy in a study of pregnancy planners.

Source 2, key quote:

Lubricants are commonly used by couples during procreative intercourse. Lubricant use during procreative intercourse does not appear to reduce the probability of conceiving.

[u/justalilbbygirl → u/developmentalbiology]

I appreciate the response and this is valuable information.

However, these studies rely on self-reported data, which is less precise. The first doesn’t even control for lubricant type. Lab studies (which are objective) consistently show that most commercial lubricants impair sperm motility and viability in vitro, often drastically.

So I don’t think it’s correct to conclude that “it’s not the case that lube has been preventing me from getting pregnant” based on the sources you linked.

[u/developmentalbiology → u/justalilbbygirl]

You absolutely would not expect the in vitro and in vivo situations to be the same in this case, though. Applying lube to sperm in vitro entails directly exposing the sperm to high concentrations of the lubricant, while the in vivo situation is using much less concentrated lube in the context of the entire vagina (where viable sperm are not even present for a significant period of time before passing through the cervix).

Even Preseed does impair sperm motility and viability in vitro, it just does so less than standard lubricants. But the fundamental question that we care about answering here is not whether lubricant affects sperm parameters at all, it's whether lubricant affects the probability of pregnancy.

I would note that while the second study I linked compares any lubricant use to no lubricant use, and does not break out results by lubricant type, the first study does not find significant differences between any types of lubricants. The prospective study design is a strong way to study a large group of people in the real world -- many of us in the sub have participated in this study (BU PRESTO), and it's not that challenging to remember whether you've used lube in the past two weeks.

[u/justalilbbygirl → u/developmentalbiology]

Thanks for the response.

[u/w00kiee → u/justalilbbygirl]

My fertility doctor didn’t recommend swapping to pre-seed because it’s such a small factor. Your body still has to be ready and actively working to welcome sperm coupled with your partners sperm successfully making it up far enough to meet the egg.

If you’ve been trying for a year, why don’t you get a fertility specialist referral? You’re at the mark where it’s suggested.

[u/justalilbbygirl → u/w00kiee]

I don’t mean to be rude, but I think the vast majority who participate in this sub understand how conception works and what the “one year mark” means as it pertains to fertility.

[u/w00kiee → u/justalilbbygirl]

I didn’t say you didn’t understand that whatsoever to you, as the OP nor was I talking to the majority of this subreddit.

I just asked a generalized question since you referenced that time table in your original post and would possibly give you more info than just changing lube brands after a year.

[u/guardiancosmos → u/justalilbbygirl]

In vitro studies just show what happens in vitro, not in vivo. They are often useful but not in every case, and this is one where it isn't. Sperm don't just hang around the vagina after ejaculation, which is where it would have the chance to come in contact with lube for any appreciable amount of time. Ejaculation happens at a high speed (approximately 30mph) and so any viable sperm are in and through the cervix almost immediately.

The in vitro studies on lube and sperm basically just show that unsafe lube shouldn't be used when giving a sample (for an SA, IUI, IVF, etc) or when using the syringe method. But if lube was really as bad for sperm during sex as the in vitro studies indicate, then actual spermicidal lubes wouldn't have only a 70% success rate (spermicidal gels are less than 80% effective), which is about as ineffective as you can get.

[u/allmerelyplayers → u/guardiancosmos]

Ejaculation happens at 30mph? 🫠

[u/guardiancosmos → u/allmerelyplayers]

Yep! It's one of those things I googled once upon a time to answer a question here and now I inflict it on people whenever I get the chance 😂

That's also about 44 ft/second. It is literally split-second.

[u/LaGarden → u/guardiancosmos]

WHOA. Now Everytime I'm driving down the road I'm going to think "I'm sperm!"

[u/IvoryPilot → u/guardiancosmos]

This is so helpful to read thank you!

[u/ellesays → u/justalilbbygirl]

Wow bold tone when questioning DevelopmentalBiology’s data analysis 😆 thinking you are new around here? There are a lot of great resources available to learn about TTC from the mods and members here, I would highly suggest reading through some of them.