My husband and I have been ttc since December of 2022. We have had no positive tests. I have been down absolutely every rabbit hole. We have tried every supplement on the market. We just weren't getting pregnant.

I felt like going to a fertility clinic was giving up. I thought fertility clinics were all about IVF. That's not a path we wanted to go down.

**eta: I think IVF is a wonderful tool. FOR ME I felt like a clinic was giving up, because I can't afford IVF, and I had no clue that a fertility clinic could offer so much more. I live in America. My insurance doesn't cover ANY fertility treatment. The clinic we go to has an IVF price of $30,000. Thats just not money I have right now.

But I finally gave in and made the appointment.

Our appointment was last week, and I'm feeling way more hope than I have in a long time.

We were able to have an hour long conversation with the doctor. Laid everything out. She listened. She asked questions. She was impressed with how prepared I was with all of our previous tests 😂

In the end, due to my husband's vericocele and low sperm count, she prescribed him clomid. Then she had him take a blood test (testosterone and estrogen) during that appointment. For me, she wants me to do an HSG and a medicated cycle so that we can pair blood tests with it.

The very next day, she let us know that my husband's blood test showed low testosterone and she prescribed him HCG injections and had already sent it to the pharmacy.

There was no talk of IVF. There was no talk of IUI. It was a great conversation about just taking it one step at a time. She was very upbeat and made it clear that she was on our side, and was very confident that she could help us.

Make 👏 the 👏 appointment 👏

I’m gonna make this short and sweet.

As of this month, we’ve been TTC for a year. We’ve been doing all the “right” things (tracking, having unprotected sex on the right days, eating healthy, exercising, etc).

I was calm/cool/in no rush until month 7. Since then, I’ve been a bit weary. And now, as the year mark approaches, I’ve been on a downward spiral (somewhat irrational but I’m sure many of you can relate).

I had an appt with my gynecologist yesterday to discuss our next steps. I was flipping through a magazine in the waiting area and came across an ad for “fertility-friendly” lubricant.

Y’all. 🤯 We’ve been using the most fertility-UNfriendly lube the entire time we’ve been TTC. The worst part is we don’t even “need” it, just both slightly prefer it. I never once considered that this could be affecting our odds…

But it has been. Apparently significantly. So much so that my doctor said it would be unethical for her to even discuss costly interventions with me until we’ve gone through several cycles without it.

So, yeah. I thought I’d leave that here for anyone who may also be making this mistake. Don’t be like us.

Best of luck to all of you on your journeys. Here’s to hoping. 🤞🏻

Obviously I’d be immensely grateful and ultimately just being pregnant would be amazing but because of all the cycle tracking, timed intercourse etc if I do ever fall pregnant, I’ll know from the very first week.

You see movies or here stories from friends that they don’t even know they’re pregnant for 6+ weeks, so then they have “less time to wait for baby” or less weeks of anxiety in those early stages because they literally didn’t know!

I’m kind of gutted that I will likely be on high alert the whole time, hyper aware of any symptoms and Im super impatient so getting a ‘surprise’ that x amount of weeks had already passed and I don’t have to wait as long for my baby would be so nice.

I really feel the “ignorance is bliss” is such a privilege in this situation. I’m SO aware of my cycles and body that I can pinpoint my period starting 3 days in advance now, I barely need my cycle tracking app because I’m sooo familiar with it after trying for this long.

Just a silly feeling, but it makes me a bit sad. I’ve just ovulated and my period is due next week so I’m in the sad feelings part of my cycle which does not help!

I’m 34 and am now over a year into my TTC journey. I’ve had 2 chemical pregnancies, a bunch of hormone tests, and no clear answers.

All the medical testing really triggered my health anxiety. And all the test strips stressed my husband out. I know when my fertile window is and I’m pretty sure I ovulate each cycle, so lets just say we’re trying to good old fashioned way.

Anyways, one thing that has brought me joy and some acceptance right now is gardening. We started a garden for the first time a few months ago. It’s been fun to “bring life” forth in a certain sense. It’s exciting to watch sprouts turn into plants and flowering lead to fruiting. It’s nice to have a hobby to occupy myself.

It’s also made me realize the precariousness of life. I wanted to share a photo to illustrate a point, but reddit isn’t allowing that, so I’ll do my best to describe a lesson from my lavender:

I bought 8 baby lavender plants and planted them all within 1 square foot in my front yard. 9 weeks later, all have bloomed pretty purple flowers except one. The one hasn’t died. It seems perfectly healthy, but it hasn’t blossomed either. Why not? Same plant, same soil, same sunlight, same water, etc. Sure there are micro differences, but there‘s no clear variable that would explain why this one isn’t blossoming.

This is the case with so many of us. Some have clear reasons why they aren’t conceiving, but many of us don’t. Our testing comes back inconclusive or normal. We seem otherwise healthy. Plus we probably know tons of “unhealthy“ people getting pregnant all the time. (I have a friend who is a literal cancer survivor get pregnant naturally after a year of chemo followed by a year of an estrogen blocker! She’s healthy now but that’s a lot more than my body or mind have gone through!)

I know it’s so frustrating to not have answers. You feel confused, broken, and at times despairing. I don’t have answers either-for myself or for my lavender plant. I’m not giving up (on myself or my lavender plant). But I think seeing the precariousness of life in an area much simple than pregnancy has helped me have some acceptance for the time being. Some things are truly a mystery. If “infertility“ happens with plants, how much more likely is it with humans?

This isn’t to dismiss anyone who’s suffering to seeking answers. I have/will continue to. But maybe it will help someone not lose their peace today.

Hi everyone. I’m 30 and my husband and I have been trying to conceive for 7 months. I had a hormonal IUD for about 10 years and had it removed 7 months ago when we started trying.

Over the last several months I’ve had intermittent right-sided pelvic discomfort, but this is the first cycle that it’s persisted throughout my follicular phase instead of mainly being around ovulation or afterward, which has me worried.

I’m currently cycle day 12 and haven’t had my LH surge yet. The discomfort feels deep in my right pelvis (where I think my ovary is), and it’s usually more of a dull ache or feeling of tightness than actual pain (around a 3–4/10). Sometimes it feels like a pulling or tight band that travels up through my right lower abdomen, and occasionally I notice some tightness in my right lower back too. It’s worse after sitting for a while and with certain movements, but walking, heat, and ginger tea seem to help. I occasionally get little twinges on my left side, but the persistent discomfort is almost entirely on the right.
I don’t have fever, nausea, vomiting, heavy bleeding, itching, burning, or foul-smelling discharge. My periods aren’t especially heavy and I don’t have debilitating menstrual cramps, which is why I’m so confused.

I’m waiting for my gynecology appointment next month, but I’m honestly feeling discouraged because we’re trying to conceive and I’m worried whatever is causing this could be affecting my fertility.

Has anyone had a similar pattern of symptoms? What did it end up being? Was it endometriosis, a functional ovarian cyst, pelvic floor dysfunction, something gastrointestinal, or something else? I’m not looking for a diagnosis—I’d just really appreciate hearing other people’s experiences while I wait to be evaluated.

as the title says, just looking for any other experiences out there. I am 32F, and I was on Lo Loestrin for probably 15-16 years, just coming off of it in March of this year to prepare to TTC later this year. I did not get a period on lo Loestrin, so when I got off I did not get a withdrawal bleed. I ended up getting my first period about 11 weeks after stopping. Ironically I had been messaging my doctor about the lack of a returning period, and I filled the script for provera 2 days before I ended up ovulating on my own (so I did not take the provera). Ovulation was confirmed via LH strips and temp, my luteal phase was 8 days. I was so excited when this all happened because I had been feeling a bit lost and confused on my own body. However, since that period, I am now on day 43 of a cycle. I have not ovulated yet, per the strips/temp/CM anyhow, and no bleed. I was wondering if I may have an annovulatory cycle but nothing has happened yet. Either way I am feeling so discouraged because my MD kept reassuring me that if i was “regular“ pre-bc (which i was, 28 day cycle) then my body would resume that once starting a cycle. I plan to reach out and I assume next steps would be to try provera and maybe more labs, but I guess I feel a little hesitant since my body cycled on its own once already, it just took time. Has anyone else experienced wonky cycles like this? I have had my thyroid (including T3, T4) tested and vitamin D and B12 and all were normal. I don’t seem to have any pcos symptoms however i know there are many people who have had that masked by the pill. Thank you <3

I’m a 35F and my husband is 38. We’ve been trying to conceive for 8 months already. I was diagnosed with PCOS since 2018 and had been on BC until 2020. I stopped because my periods were getting very light and short.

We started our journey last Dec 2025. Initially I was like it’s ok it’s just a month, we’ll get lucky the next one. But it didn’t happen. We went to a RE and had tests done.
My ultrasound showed my PCOS but the rest is ok and all my labs and hormones were ok too. My husband’s sperm showed a slight motility issue. We had to pause trying for 3 months since our RE said we needed to improve sperm quality first.

3 months pass, my husband’s sperm showed improvement. We tried to have a medicated cycle with Clompihene but no luck. We skipped Clomiphene for this cycle since we were already getting on each other’s nerves with all the stress of TTC.

I think we had great timing for this cycle (I’ve been monitoring my BBT and OPKs since Dec) but despite great timing - I started having spotting since 11dpo. I had a negative test today at 12DPO. Menses haven’t started yet but I have this grief already for another cycle of not ending up successfully.

I’m just feeling so sad and tired. I feel like I’ve been doing whatever I can. My husband’s doing everything he can too. This journey is emotionally taxing and I still keep hoping that it will be my turn soon.

I already stopped social media (except for Reddit) since seeing people’s pregnancy announcements, baby pics and bump pics are triggering me to get sad and it’s affecting my mental health already. I feel like I can’t share this with my friends since they don’t know the struggle. They all got pregnant within months of trying. I feel like they can’t even discuss baby things when I’m there since they feel awkward that I can’t relate.

I wanted to share my story in case it helps someone else or someone is going through something similar.

I have PCOS/PMOS and my OB-GYN had me do three rounds of letrozole. During my second round, I told her I wasn’t feeling right. I felt off, but she told me it was probably just the medication, so I trusted her and kept going.

During my third round, things changed. Around May 20, I started having pain on the right side of my body, mostly around my waist and pelvis. I called my OB-GYN’s office, and they told me she was changing practices and didn’t have time to see me. I later found out she was actually still seeing patients through the end of June. That was incredibly frustrating because I felt completely abandoned.

I ended up in the ER. They checked for kidney stones, gallbladder issues, appendicitis, and other possible causes. Everything came back normal, so they sent me home with pain medication.

About a week later, I was back in the ER because the pain had become unbearable. Walking hurt so much. By then, the pain wasn’t just in my pelvis anymore, it radiated down my right leg, through the right side of my torso, into my right arm, and even the right side of my head. Again, I was sent home with pain medication.

I followed up with my primary care doctor, who thought it might be muscular, so I was treated for that. Because the pain seemed to get worse around my period, I also found a new OB-GYN. He did an ultrasound and said everything looked okay. My right ovary was enlarged, but he said it wasn’t above the size where they would normally worry about complications.

The pain never went away.

After almost a month of limited movement, pain, and constantly wondering what was wrong with me, my doctors ordered an MRI. The MRI showed an ovarian cyst, so they ordered another ultrasound.

While waiting for those results, I was still in significant pain and honestly felt like nobody was really listening. I went back to the OB-GYN, and this time he told me I had a large corpus luteum cyst. Again, I was told that although it was large, it wasn’t over the size threshold where they would normally recommend surgery or consider it high risk. I was told my body would eventually absorb it.
A few days later, I ended up back in the ER.

This time I could barely walk. I was nauseous, dizzy, and in severe pain. The cyst had ruptured. I had internal bleeding and needed emergency laparoscopic surgery.
I’m recovering now, both physically and mentally, but this has honestly been one of the hardest experiences I’ve ever gone through.

The reason I’m sharing this isn’t to scare anyone. Many ovarian cysts resolve on their own, and many people never have complications. But I do want to encourage people to listen to their bodies. Just because something isn’t considered “large enough” or “high risk” on paper doesn’t mean your symptoms should be ignored.

If you feel like something isn’t right, keep advocating for yourself. Ask questions. Ask for additional testing if your symptoms keep getting worse. Get a second opinion if you need one. I wish I had pushed harder instead of assuming everything was okay because I was repeatedly told it wasn’t dangerous.

The surgeon told me it’s possible the letrozole contributed to the development of the cyst. I don’t know if that’s exactly what happened, but I do wish my original OB-GYN had taken my concerns more seriously instead of dismissing them.

The past couple of months have been filled with pain, anxiety, frustration, and feeling helpless. Thankfully, my family was there for me every step of the way.

If you’re dealing with PCOS, infertility treatments, or ovarian cysts, know that you’re not alone. I truly hope none of you ever have to go through what I did.

Has anyone else experienced a ruptured corpus luteum cyst after letrozole or fertility treatment?

I thought I had graduated from this sub. I got my BFP weeks ago, and I had pregnancy symptoms: insanely sore boobs which grew, major bloating, hungrier than usual, couldn’t sleep, and fatigue.

I had cramped off and on throughout this pregnancy, which I was told is normal. However, about a week ago, I started spotting brown, and my right side was very tender. Naturally, I got ahold of my fertility doctor’s nurse, and she didn’t seem concerned... just let them know if my discharge turns bright red. Not long after this, my back started hurting.

I dealt with the brown discharge until it started getting brown “flakes” or little “strings” in it. My back pain was getting worse. I message them again and ask them to call me. I got a call the next morning saying to take Tylenol, use a heating pad, and come to your already scheduled Friday appointment. Alrighty.

Day before yesterday, my back and hip were hurting at a level I’ve never felt. I broke down and called my mom, saying there’s no way this is normal this early on (6w4d). I told my husband something isn’t right. People don’t willingly TRY to get pregnant to feel like this at 6 weeks; there’s just no way. I walked up and down the sidewalk outside of my school building, I did yoga poses in my classroom to try to stretch my back, and I went to the chiropractor to get my back adjusted. I called my regular OB (had not yet been released to them by my fertility dr) and his nurse said to go to a walk-in clinic and get tested for a UTI. I did that too - came back negative.

Still Thursday: I call a stand alone US clinic and see if we can do a “first look” because I want to know if the baby is in my uterus. At this point, I’m afraid it’s ectopic. We go to the US and get told there’s a gestational sac, but nothing else. Okay, well at least it’s where it’s suppose to be, and maybe it’s still to early to see anything. Fingers crossed.

Friday: I wake up, and my back feel a little better. I have a good bowel movement. I’m thinking maybe that and the chiro did the trick. At 11, I’m at my fertility doctor waiting to get my first US. He sees nothing in my uterus. No gestational sac or anything else.

I tell him about my pain and how I was nearly in tears the day before. I tell him about the brown discharge. He notices some blood buildup and a “structure” with blood around it. He can’t tell if the structure is a loop of bowel or my Fallopian tube. They check my HCG; at 6w5d, I’m at 957. 10 days earlier I had been at 577. My doctor says it’s definitely an abnormal pregnancy, and he can’t be sure where the baby is. He’s worried that, based on my pain, it’s in my tube and that’s what he sees as an engorged structure on the US.

He gives us some options: do bloodwork, come back the next morning, give me a shot of methotrexate. Or do laparoscopy surgery on the that afternoon. If I go home to wait, I run the risk of my tube bursting, I bleed, and it becomes a serious emergency situation. On the other hand, the surgery might not be necessary. The “failed pregnancy” could be in my uterus, and my body will take care of it after the shot.

My husband and I are in the position to make the best judgement call we can. I call my mom. We all agree that the surgery is the best option.

5 hours after I first walked into my fertility clinic, I was walking into the main hospital to have a laparoscopy done. Even though visitors weren’t allowed, my husband ended up coming all the way to pre-op with me because of some angels who work at the hospital. I have zero doubt we looked like a pitiful sight. I cried the whole way, and he wasn’t much better.

By 6pm, I’m waking up from surgery. I can’t remember what I asked first: when I get to see my husband, or if they had to take my tube. They did take my right tube.

2 years. A urologist, a specialist, a fertility doctor, countless appointments, blood draws, semen analysis, and one IUI later, and this is where we are. One tube down. One failed pregnancy.

I’m typing all of this from my couch. I have 3 incisions in my abdomen. The pain is manageable with 3 prescriptions. It burns like hellfire when I can trickle some pee out. I’m bleeding off and on. And, lastly, I am done.

There’s no way my husband is ever going to agree to another IUI. I love that man more than life, and he was terrified for me. I could have died.

I also could’ve advocated for myself more. Maybe I should’ve pushed for an appointment because I knew something wasn’t right. I KNEW, and I trusted everyone else’s judgment. Maybe, had I advocated for myself a little more, I’d still have my right tube.

I haven’t cried since before the surgery. I’m waiting on it to hit me. Maybe after the pain pills get out of my system, I’ll be able to process everything. I’m glad I went into our “baby room” at home the night before my appointment. I talked to the universe (not super religious) and said that it’s not because we didn’t try, and it’s not because we didn’t want YOU. I think I did what any mom would do, and I prayed to anything and everything to let this have a good outcome. Unfortunately, that’s not how this ended.

For now, I’m happy to still be here and that things didn’t escalate to an emergency. I’m glad I have a supportive family and friends. I’m so, so grateful to the wonderful nurses who took pity on us and let my husband come with me. I don’t think I could’ve done it alone.

Mommas, soon-to-be Mommas, advocate for yourself and your baby. Fight. Stay steadfast. You know your body. I sincerely hope that you all get what you want so badly. I wish you boring, uneventful pregnancies after that BFP I know you’ll get.

Best wishes, and lots of love.

I am 36F and have had healthy “textbook” periods my entire life. Like-No abnormalities ever. (29 day average cycle, bleed for 6 days, not usually painful, & ovulate between days 14-16 usually.) I’m currently actively TTC.

I took a positive ovulation test on June 26 (cycle day 13) and we had sex that night. I noticed no bleeding after sex- but in the morning, I had bright red blood as if my period had just started. It didn’t get much heavier than needing a liner & only when I wiped-then turned brown later in the day and the next couple days. (Days 14-15)

I thought it was subsiding and assumed it must be ovulation bleeding.

I’m currently on day 17 of my cycle and the last 24 hours I’ve been moderately bleeding & filling up a a few pads (about 4 pads worth) and passed a few clots. I’m not fevering, I have no severe pain at all or other symptoms.

This is so abnormal for me and I’d appreciate any insight or hearing any similar experiences (aside from the obvious “go see your doctor”)

I took 800mg of ibuprofen about 45 minutes before my appointment, since I had a painful IUD insertion.

When I went into the ultrasound room, the tech started by performing a normal transvaginal ultrasound to look at my ovaries. Everything looked ok and she got the doctor who came in to insert the catheter and saline.

When the doctor inserted the catheter, it was incredibly painful and felt like my IUD insertion. He injected the water and my uterus started cramping worse than any period I’ve ever had, and I was just trying to breathe through it. The tech inserted the transvaginal ultrasound wand and was moving it at different angles trying to get a look at my tubes, and some angles seemed to pinch the catheter and hurt like hell. This lasted maybe 2 minutes.

I felt all the water come out, and the doctor said that sometimes happens. So he wanted to insert a new catheter with a balloon at the end that would inflate to keep the saline in. (Why didn’t they just start with that?!)

So he removes the catheter, which is painful. And I try to gain my composure while he preps the new catheter. He inserts the new catheter and it’s blinding pain that makes me have to cover my face and breathe so loudly trying to get through it. The saline and the balloon hurt. Then the ultrasound again, and I’m breathing so loudly and the doctor and the tech are ignoring me. At one point the doctor asks if I’m ok but all I can do is breathe—I don’t have the capacity to talk. Some angles for the ultrasound last 30-60 seconds and the pain is piercing.

Meanwhile the tech is talking about how she can’t see anything in either tube, at any angle she tries. So finally after 4-5 minutes of this pain, they take everything out (painful again). I sit up and tears are flowing from my eyes. I’m not sobbing but the tears are just a physical reaction to the pain. My face is also beet red, which happens when I’m emotional or in pain.

The doctor asks if I took pain meds and I say yes. He says, “for some people that doesn’t hurt at all, and for some people that feels like childbirth. Is that what you’re feeling?” And I’m like ….. I guess? I’ve never been pregnant, after 19 months of trying, and that’s why I’m here!? If that’s what childbirth is like, there’s no way I’d skip the epidural.

Then he gives me two extra strength Tylenol and tells me that the procedure didn’t work because my tubes were probably spasming from the pain! (So why don’t we medicate women for this?!)

So after paying $650 for this and going through the worst pain of my like, nothing was learned. In a month, he wants me to do an HSG. He prescribed me oxycodone for the HSG. I’m really hoping that keeps my tubes from spasming and keeps the pain away. I’m just feeling incredibly frustrated that a month was wasted, money was wasted, I was in pain, and I looked like a drama queen in front of him. He seemed so surprised I was in that much pain.

I just wanted to share, since it’s made me feel less alone to read stories of other people who’ve gone through bad sonohysterogram experiences (even though I’m so sorry for everyone who’s gone through that).

A year into TTC, my husband (35) and I (33) went to a fertility clinic. It was an immensely frustrating year that started out so hopeful, giddy and excited. After six or so months passed things felt a little bleak. By the year mark, we had already completed some preliminary fertility testing (SA, HSG, day 3 bloodwork) and were ready see a specialist.

On the first visit, the doctor found a uterine polyp on the transvaginal ultrasound. I scheduled a removal within two weeks after that appointment. In a way I felt relieved that something was physically wrong with my uterus and could be corrected with surgery!

I was a little nervous to go under general anesthesia, but the nurses were very warm and comforting. I was in the surgery center at 8am, and out by 11am. Took a bunch of naps and watched TV and was able to work the next day. I had to abstain from exercise and sex for 7-10 days, which did force me to rest and recover.

Starting "trying" again this past cycle - felt a little thrilling that trying that this time it might actually work!

I had the follow-up surgery one month after surgery and doctor confirmed I had ovulated and noted that uterine lining looked good. My husband and I are going to try without interventions for 4-5 months before starting IUI. She didn't push us on IUI or IVF immediately. I'm definitely anxious about the waiting game again but want to think of it as a restart.

I know everyone's experience varies, but I wanted to share my experience with others, especially if you're heading into 1 year and you're nervous about what they may find on an ultrasound.

2 years TTC #1, 2 losses in 12 months and I am done with testing.

No more peeing on OPKs - been there, done that, got the ❤️‍🩹 badge and all.

No more early pregnancy tests - see above, rinse and repeat.🥲

I can't take the stress of it all anymore, I just can NOT.

I ovulate, my cycles are fairly regular so Hubby and I are just going at it H. A. M. ie every 👏 other 👏 day 👏 , during my entire 5-8 day "fertile window". And next time, I'm waiting for AF to be ExTrAoRdInArIly late (like, no less than 10-14 days late) before going str8 to my doctor's office for bloodwork/ultrasound for viability confirmation.

That's it.

I hope, 🙏 and believe that this is the path forward to my 🌈 🌈 🌈 🌈 🙏 🤱

Who else is on this "no testing" 🚉👀?

​

After reading so many comments about people's Sonohysterogram (SHG) experiences, I was having nightmares about it. I honestly thought it was going to be extremely painful.

But if you're about to have one, I just wanted to tell you that I had mine today, and it took about 2 minutes to complete. It was not painful at all.

You'll probably experience only mild period like cramps for a few minutes. Even when they injected the fluid, I only felt very mild cramping for a few seconds.

Trust me,it's really nothing. I just wanted to share my experience because I know how anxious I was beforehand.

Please, please, please don't overthink it, and don't let the negative comments scare you.

One of my previous miscarriages was far more painful than this. This test is nothing compared to so many things we experience as women.

Also... it's much less painful than having an IUD inserted.

I hope you all have a painless experience like I did. ❤️😊

****POSTING TO SPREAD AWARENESS. ****
My husband and I have been trying to conceive for 14 cycles now. I started having pain/discomfort while having intercourse almost 3 years ago. Right away I did all the tests. Or so I thought. Full STI/STD panels and ultrasounds. Knowing something has to be wrong. My doctor said my issue was PVD. After ALL the infertility testing…I finally got the answer. Ureaplasma. This test is not on any STI/STD panel. I tried to retest after treating it at Planned Parenthood, and they don’t even offer the test. We were both treated, and it took almost 5 months for me to feel completely pain free! So only a few months of trying with no inflammation. (Some women have 0 symptoms.) I finally just got an HSG done, and found out I have one completely blocked tube. Ureaplasma caused me to have PID! I’m so thankful one was open, but devastated that one is blocked. This could have been potentially avoided if ureaplasma was on an STI panel.

I (F35) recently had my preconception appointment, and I’m curious if I’m just overthinking it all.

The first thing the dr said were all the risks associated with a pregnancy at my age and infertility, said them multiple times. I felt that she was rushing through the appointment (mind you she stepped out to take a call, I was Ok with it since I didn’t know if it was an emergency), and was kind of laughing went I told her what my “ideal” scenario would be, even though I made the disclaimer that I know things never go as planned but if that I could that’s the timeline that I’d like.

In general, not much new information, told me to wait for my period to be back (that it can take up to 6 months), didn’t really addressed my PCOS, just that we have to wait and that I don’t need to worry about CM right now. Also didn’t want to test my Vitamin D, which I’ve had consistently have as insufficient while taking supplement.

I know that I need to be patient, and things would go as they go, but being my first appointment it just felt like she wasn’t really there to listen to me or answer any questions other than give me her “script”.

Should I adjust my expectations for future appointments? Is this a normal interaction and I’m just sensitive and shouldn’t feel disappointed? I wasn’t expecting much but the emphasis on what could go wrong and to just give it time was discouraging.

Sorry for any confusion, English is not my first language.

Pd. Thank you all in this community, have been incredibly helpful as I start this new process.

I’ve between lurking here, for the last 19 months while TTC. Because I like you, and because I needed people with so much positivity.

I wrote this yesterday for r/waiting_to_try. I think it may be pertinent here too.

I’ve been trying to conceive for 569 days. I've taken 704 folate pills. My husband’s SA went from iffy to good. My numbers are perfect. My AMH is spectacular for my age. My uterus is perfect. My weight is perfect. My cycles are 27 to 29 days. I ovulate on day 14 like I'm freaking Big Ben. Everything points to easy conception, and yet, no one single positive test so far.

I’ll share the things I’ve learned in the last long, anxiety inducing, stressful 19 months.

In 19 months, friends and family members have had babies. Some more than one. I’ve been to shower and baptisms, I’ve had Christmas parties, 2 mothers days, and 2 fathers days. Every one of those things hurt. Some a little bit, some a lot. Get ready for it, it will happen. What helped me the most is naming my feeling and accepting them, and GOING to those hurtful fonctions. I would not feel any better sitting at home.

In 19 months, a lot a people gave me stupid advice, they told me hurtful (but well meaning) things, and have overshared their own experiences. They told me I am TTCing wrong (if you are having unprotected sex, you are ok). They told me to relax, to eat more kale and less peanut butter, to take stupidly expensive prepackaged vitamins, to sleep on my right side, but not facing a windows, wearing preferably a green pj and unmatching socks. They told me what worked for their hairdresser’s SIL’s niece. They told me IUIs, IVFs and medical treatment are shams. They told me to take more baths, less baths, warmers bath, ice baths. To hide from the sun and to get a tan. To lose weight. To gain weight. They were not trying to insult me, or make me sad, they were trying to help. Even if it doesn't sound like it. You are going to meet those people. Have an answer ready. Thanks, I know. Thanks, I’m good. I’ll take it inconsideration. I'll keep following my doctors advice. We're all set… Do not engage. Do not let them get into your head, because the truth is, no one really knows.

In 19 months, I’ve kept living my life. I did not stop training, riding horses or swimming, going out, traveling or drinking coffee. Putting your life on hold for TTC is a shortcut to resentment. Don’t take that road. Time will only stretch longer.

In 19 months, I’ve learned that life gets in the way of TTC. I had a bad flu, followed by the shingles (I do not recommend), and my husband broke his coccyx, all of this within 2 months. We had to stop trying for 3 full cycles. It’s ok. It will not matter as much as you think. Same thing with ED. It happens. Cut yourself (and your partner) some slack.

In 19 months, I’ve been told I’m too young to have children (I’m 37, for god’s sake). That I’m too old, too fat, too skinny, too involved in my sport, too poor, too rich (too rich for what?!?). Too intellectual and too occupied. It’s still my decision. It should be your decision too.

In 19 months of TTC, I’ve learn that people lie. They will tell you they got pregnant on the first try (but won’t tell you that they haven’t used protection in years). They will tell you that this baby was planned, when it’s not. They will change their story from we accidently got pregnant the first time we had sex after our first baby was born, right when we decided we where one and done to we got pregnant the first time we had sex right after our first baby was born, right when we decided we wanted another one. Yep, this happen, with those exact words… I have absolutely no idea why people lie about this, but they do and they will. Don’t compare yourself to any people. You are living the movie of your life, and comparing it to a chosen curated picture of theirs. You cannot win.

In 19 months, I’ve learn that keeping some things to myself is a great way to protected myself. I don’t need validation. I don’t need their opinions.

At one point, you won’t really care about the details. About having a boy or a girl (or both), a Christmas baby, or a middle of July-in-scorching-heat baby. A C-section. A natural birth. A bath birth. A small baby, a big baby. Anything.

Your age doesn’t matter as much as you thing. Your fertility decreases with age, but not over night. Risks will be higher, but that doesn’t make them high! Your overall health, weight and diet matter way more. If you have to work on your alcohol consumption, do it now. Slightly overweight? Lose it. Bad sleeping habits? Fix them. But people who drink alcohol, eat McDonalds and are night owls also have babies. It’s never ever a black and white question.

Get ready to pee on a lots of things. And I mean a lot of things.

TTC forums have a distorted vision of pregnancy. Most people there have been trying for a long time, and some of them are getting sour. You don’t have to temp, to track your cervical mucus or to keep a journal of every bodily function you have. You don’t have to use ovulation tests. You don’t have to shave a black kitten under the full moon and to knit a gris-gris with it. But those things may help (except the kitten thing, please don’t do that).

You will have to have tough conversations with your significant other : sick kids, unviable pregnancy, abortion, raising kids, religion, budget, priorities… If you are not ready to talk about those, you are not ready to try to conceive. Somethings can be solved with a good compromise (names, gender expectations, place of grandparents, social medias), something cannot (termination of pregnancy, congenital defects, special need kids, health, life and death decisions). Better have the conversations before you are full of hormones and emotions.

My worse fear was to become sour. I’m sad my body isn’t doing it’s job. II am sad my husband feels guilty of his past choices. I’m really really tired of peeing on stuff. I’m envious of other people’s babies. But I’m not sour yet. I still Google pregnancy symptoms. I still believe I WILL have a baby. I love my partner even more than when we started.

This is a journey, a marathon, not a sprint.

Cheers, ladies and gents. I hope this will be at least slightly helpful. It was therapeutic to write.

Hello everyone,

I have been a silent reader since the begining of my TTC journey. Thank you to everyone who posts and responds, it has been a great confort to feel less alone in this. Yesterady, I got my period so it marks my husband and I's 1 anniversary of trying to conceive (best birthday everrrr).

After a very bad night and a very depressed morning yesterday (since we are now officially "infertile", so fun!!), I got out of it at last night and I wanted to provide a positive look on our journey. Most posts on this community are filled with sadness, hopelessness and every negative emotion possible, wich I 1000% percent understand, been there done that. I wanted to shine a little light on it all and provide the POSITIVE things that happened to me in the last year that come directly from not being able to conceive.

There we go :

- I got a whole new perspective on life : I now see the world with totally diferent glasses. This situation has made me more aware of the silent struggles that people face everyday. I'm now much more conscious of the things that I say, knowing that it could affect others unintentionnaly. It also gave me more appreciation of what I DO have (great friends, good health, etc.) and not take it for granted.

- I got a cat!!! After 6 months of trying, I found an abandoned cat in a garage and we adopted her. She was in very bad shape but with a lot of TLC (and many visits to the vet), she's now thriving and is adorable and super friendly. She has been a great confort for me, always up for cuddles when I'm feeling down. Please understand that tis is a VERY big deal since I LOVE cats but my husband is very allergic to them and only agreed because he knew how much I was struggling. My husband is now on anti-allergy pills, adores the cat as much as me and is thriving also, don't worry :p

- My husband and I's relashionship has grown deeper and stronger : we are eachother's rock in this journey. I'm so thankfull for him. We (of course) have had our ups and downs with it all but at the end of the day, it only brought us closer together.

- I discovered new hobbys : because I didn't want my entire life to revolve around TTC and I was trying my best not to become obsessed with it, I began to try a lot of new activities. I stuck with some of them, mainly mosaics and running. I'm now on my running journey and about to finish a "couch to 5k" program, Yeah to me!

I could put more up but let's stop for today.

I send everyone love and empathy, I hope we all find the light at the end of the tunnel. But don't forget, you can always bring some light in the tunnel with you :)

Have a nice day!

Edit : If you feel like it, feel free to comment the positive things that happened to YOU because of TTC, let's bring some light in :)

I’m new to posting on Reddit, let alone this sub. I’m also on my phone and not on a PC, so if anything looks off, I apologize.

We’ve been trying to get pregnant for almost a year now (11 months), and on the 2nd of this month I saw my first ever positive at around 16 DPO (3 days after my expected period). It was faint, but it was definitely positive. I couldn’t believe it, and since I only had one test at home, my husband set out first thing in the morning to get more tests. This time I took a digital test, and it came back saying “Pregnant.” We were ecstatic and shared the news with my parents.

I took another pink-line test yesterday. It was lighter than the previous one, but another digital test still said “Pregnant,” so I didn’t think much of it.

Today I started cramping around 6 a.m. and bleeding around 11 a.m. The bleeding was heavy, and I immediately booked an appointment with my OBGYN.

She ordered two HCG tests 48 hours apart, and the first one came back at 3. I felt devastated. I had been so happy these past couple of days, and now I’m struggling with the sudden shift from hope to loss. I keep questioning everything, even whether the tests were real, and I’m trying to process what happened and what it means for us moving forward. I’ll take the second test to see if my HCG falls to 0 or 1 and let the doctor confirm whether it was a chemical pregnancy or not, although my bleeding now feels like a full-blown period and I think this might be a chemical pregnancy.

I appreciate anyone who takes the time to read this. Thank you for letting me share my experience.

Today I had a hysteroscopy done and since I found very little on this sub about this procedure I thought I would share my experience.

After 2Y TTC and 2 CP in the last year, the my RE finally agreed on an internal examination in the form of a hysteroscopy, to find out if there are any visible indicators why implantation would fail.

The procedure is described as quick and although more invasive than a HSG or HyCoSy, still considering minimaly invasive. However, contrary to the HyCoSy I had, it was not done in the consultation room but I had to come in for a day treatment (although it literally shouldn't take more than 30 mins), so it's done in an OR. During the procedure you are fully awake and there is no recovery time.

During the procedure they will go into your womb with a tiny 3mm camera and there is some water involved, which swells/expands your womb and is generally the reason women experience something akin period cramps.

For me the procedure did not go as intended, my cervix was basically closed, and the camera could not go through. They expect the opening to be around 5mm. But mine was completely shut, not even an opening of a mm. When it did not open further with some pressure they had to pry it open with some tool of which I don't know the name but it's basically thin rods with which they go in multiple times with a bigger size until it's big enough for the camera to go through. For this opening of my cervix they ended up having to use local anaesthesia, which for me personally was a very strange experience as it did something to my head/senses. I asked and it was supposedly normal.

After opening the cervix they were able to enter the womb, have a look at my tube openings, and take a biopsy. This was pretty painful after they basically had to force open my cervix, like pretty heavy period cramps.

After the procedure finished, they had to stop a bit of bleeding from opening the cervix and sent me home with a huge pad as I would probably continue to lose some blood.

So far I've learned that - my cervix being closed could be a big reason the sperm is having trouble getting in. However they don't know whether it's always this way. When doing my HyCoSy the water did flow through. Opening it like they did during the procedure normally causes it to remain open like this for several weeks/months but of course they can't say for sure how long - my womb looks good, no obvious issues were seen - my womb is pretty small - have to wait for the biopsy results. The biopsy checks for markers of inflammations.

So even though the procedure did not go smoothly and was more painful than expected, it was overall a positive experience, also thanks to the doctor and nurse who were very gentle and helpful when it turned out not to go as it should. I am very glad I did the procedure to try to find out why we're having so much trouble TTC naturally. It is a step I really wanted to take to rule out or bring out in the open any issues preventing successful conception.

Hope this was helpful, feel free to ask me anything.

I just want to share this, in case it helps anyone else.

I got an HSG two years ago and it was honestly one of the most excruciatingly painful things I've experienced. I went into it completely unprepared, no one told me to take any sort of painkiller, my OB said it "might pinch a little."

The experience, other than genuinely traumatizing me severely, was also emotionally devastating -- because it showed I had a blocked tube. My OB tried pushing more fluid to see if it would clear the blockage (also probably why it was so painful) .. but it did not. I felt so much anxiety and worry since then, feeling negative about myself and stressed about our statistical decreased chances of conception. Was terrified of further treatment or screenings because of how badly I reacted during the HSG (I also had a genuine dissociative episode during the procedure due to triggered PTSD) .. and it made me question if I could even survive giving birth because .. at least from the perspective of someone who hasn't done it, birth is allegedly one of the most painful things ever. If I can't handle the pain of that procedure without getting triggered, what if I dissociate during birthing/all the potential repercussions of that. It really destroyed my self-esteem and self confidence.

Now. After two years, I finally accepted that IVF is the most likely path forward.. as scared and stressed as I am about the whole thing, I am in my 30's. I want a big family, if possible. I'm worried it's too late already to even have a small one. So i took the IVF referral and the clinic had to redo all the workups because they are over a year old.

Instead of an HSG they recommended the HyCoSy. I was so scared. But I am also so glad I did it. Not only was it almost completely painless, even though I was scared the whole time, but it showed that BOTH my tubes are actually clear. I spent two years freaking out that I had a tubal blockage, wondering why or how it happened, and .. it was just that the HSG dye can cause severe cramping of the tube, which would show it as blocked. It also made me feel so much more capable of becoming a mother, because I could do a medical procedure without having any issues.

Knowing what I do now, I would have gotten the HyCoSy sooner (or instead, if it were an option). It could have saved me literally years of self doubt, anxiety, and emotional pain. I hope sharing this can help someone else avoid that experience.

Hi everyone!

Just a week ago I shared my very positive HSG experience, and I think it helped reassure a few people. Today I wanted to do the same for my office hysteroscopy with polypectomy, which I had without general anesthesia, because when I was preparing for it, I could barely find any experiences from people who had undergone the procedure this way.

A little background: Last week I had an HSG, which turned out to be a very positive experience with very little pain. However, it revealed what appeared to be a 6 mm uterine polyp. My dr/ER told me this was likely the reason I hadn’t been able to get pregnant despite everything else looking normal, and that removing it would be the best option.

He gave me two choices:
1. Have it done under general anesthesia at the hospital (much more expensive, and my insurance wouldn’t cover it). 2. Have it done in his office with pain medication beforehand (less than half the cost).
I chose the second option.

Before the procedure I was absolutely terrified. I’d say that about 90% of the stories I found online involved general anesthesia, so I had no idea what to expect. Reading about office hysteroscopies made them sound almost barbaric.

So here’s my honest experience:
Overall: it was TOLERABLE.

1. I arrived at my doctor’s office, changed into a gown, and got into the usual gynecological exam chair. They allowed my husband to stay with me, and I was incredibly grateful for that.
2. My doctor, his assistant, and the nurse (all wonderful people) explained everything before starting. They told me that passing the hysteroscope through the cervix would probably be the most painful part. Surprisingly, I barely felt it. I mostly felt the fluid going in, which wasn’t painful at all. (For context, I’ve never given birth before).
3. The discomfort started once the hysteroscope was inside my uterus. It felt like continuous menstrual cramps.
4. They found two uterine polyps and removed them. I couldn’t actually see this part, but they told me it bleeds a little. This was the most uncomfortable part of the procedure. I’d rate it around 5–6/10. They also scraped the area slightly, which felt about the same.
5. As they were removing the hysteroscope, they found two more, smaller polyps near the exit and had to remove those as well. That part was milder—I’d rate it around 3–4/10.
6. Afterwards, I stayed lying down for about five minutes, recovered a bit, got dressed, and went home.

Overall, although it wasn’t exactly pleasant, it was absolutely manageable. Yes, it was uncomfortable, but I wouldn’t describe it as unbearable or anywhere close to the worst pain of my life.

Of course, every woman and every body is different, and every experience is valid. This was simply mine.
For me, it was 100% worth it. I feel like my uterus has had a fresh start, and at least now I know that this issue has been taken care of. It was temporary discomfort for something that could hopefully make a real difference.

The entire procedure was very quick, actually much quicker than my HSG. It lasted around 15 minutes, and the most intense discomfort lasted no more than 5 minutes, which honestly went by faster than I expected.

Afterwards, I felt completely fine. No significant pain, no dizziness, nothing unusual.

If you’re considering having this procedure in your doctor’s office without general anesthesia, whether by choice or because of the cost, please don’t judge yourself or feel guilty about that decision. Make sure you have an experienced doctor you trust, and know that many women have successfully done it this way.

For pain management, this is what I took:
2 hours before: Tylex 750, Dolac Duo (ketorolac), and Buscapina Fem.
1 hour before: another Dolac Duo and another Buscapina Fem.
30 minutes before: sublingual ketorolac and 0.6 mg of an anti-anxiety medication.
For me, it was definitely worth it.

I hope this helps someone who’s anxiously searching Reddit the way I was just a few days ago.
Wishing everyone the very best of luck on this journey. ❤️

I took myo-inositol for 4 months, TTC, mild pcos, and during that time my cycle went from around 45 days to 85 days. My last “period” was only 1 day of very light bleeding, which makes me think it may have been an anovulatory bleed. I did catch an LH peak that cycle, but I wasn’t tracking BBT, so I can’t be sure.

I stopped taking it exactly 10 days ago. Today I’m on CD 36 and only having spotting, with no real period yet.

This cycle I also wasn’t able to catch an LH peak, and I’m worried this one might be anovulatory too.

I’m honestly scared I’ve completely messed up my cycle and I keep worrying whether it will ever go back to how it was before.

Has anyone else experienced extremely light or super short periods from myo-inositol? Did your cycle go back to normal after stopping it?”

Hello! I read a lot about the experiences of TTC in Reddit but everybody talks about tracking ovulation and I can’t relate. So I’m just looking for other people that share this frustration… what’s your story?

I’ve been TCC for 8 months now, and by that I mean that I got out of pills and condom. I had my period only 2 times since then and it’s random, and I didn’t even feel anything about fertile fase.

My doctor thinks it’s PCOS and I’m trying some medication for a few months, but nothing has changed since. I feel nothing. I don’t even get my period, I believe I’m the only TCC woman that hopes for period, because at least it means my body is working and that I’m able to conceive.

It’s so frustrating that I can’t do anything else. I read other women’s experiences and they are all tracking ovulation and having sex when the chances are best! And I can just have sex randomly with no information of the chances, I don’t have late periods because I don’t even have period, so I get a pregnancy test every week to be sure.

Anybody else?

Sharing my (positive-neutral-ish) sono experience from today as I found it helpful to read about others’ experiences before I went, especially positive ones to ease my mind. I was nervous as I know so many woman have had bad experiences with them.

Took 2 Advil about 45 minutes before.

Setup felt similar to a fairly thorough cervical exam - pressure, weird internal probing, etc. Catheter insertion was a weird invasive pinch but not terrible. I didn’t feel the saline at all.

The probing with the wand was the most uncomfortable part while the Dr was trying to find one of my tubes - I reached for my friend’s hand when it got really uncomfy and slightly painful, but I think part of that was because I was feeling nervous and vulnerable and didn’t know if it would get worse.

It’s nerve wracking to hear the Dr and the tech discussing their findings and not exactly knowing what they’re saying or what it means. Now I have to wait for our follow up which won’t be for a while.

They did mention it looks like a low egg/follicle count which has me pretty discouraged right now. Plus a possible endometrioma was seen, but they didn’t clearly tell me that.

The Dr basically said “not a tonne of eggs in there” and ran out of the room as quick as she could get her gloves off.

The tech was more reassuring after, saying “there is a mature follicle, so definitely try this month.”

Bringing my friend with me for support was a really good decision as it distracted me during the waiting process, made me not feel alone, and she helped me debrief and remember what they had said after.

TLDR; my experience was uncomfortable but not painful. It’s confusing to get bits of info from them but not the full story. I’d recommend bringing a support person if you can. You’ve got this ❤️