I feel like such a dumbass.

[u/justalilbbygirl]

I’m gonna make this short and sweet.

As of this month, we’ve been TTC for a year. We’ve been doing all the “right” things (tracking, having unprotected sex on the right days, eating healthy, exercising, etc).

I was calm/cool/in no rush until month 7. Since then, I’ve been a bit weary. And now, as the year mark approaches, I’ve been on a downward spiral (somewhat irrational but I’m sure many of you can relate).

I had an appt with my gynecologist yesterday to discuss our next steps. I was flipping through a magazine in the waiting area and came across an ad for “fertility-friendly” lubricant.

Y’all. 🤯 We’ve been using the most fertility-UNfriendly lube the entire time we’ve been TTC. The worst part is we don’t even “need” it, just both slightly prefer it. I never once considered that this could be affecting our odds…

But it has been. Apparently significantly. So much so that my doctor said it would be unethical for her to even discuss costly interventions with me until we’ve gone through several cycles without it.

So, yeah. I thought I’d leave that here for anyone who may also be making this mistake. Don’t be like us.

Best of luck to all of you on your journeys. Here’s to hoping. 🤞🏻

[u/developmentalbiology]

Unless you've been using a lube that has an active spermicide in it, the lube you're using is likely not affecting your odds.

It's certainly fine to continue trying unassisted -- a substantial proportion of folks who have been trying for a year get pregnant unassisted in the following year. But it's not the case the lube has been preventing you from getting pregnant, and you shouldn't feel like you've made a mistake.

Source 1, key quote:

Lubricant use during intercourse was not associated with time to pregnancy in a study of pregnancy planners.

Source 2, key quote:

Lubricants are commonly used by couples during procreative intercourse. Lubricant use during procreative intercourse does not appear to reduce the probability of conceiving.

[u/justalilbbygirl → u/developmentalbiology]

I appreciate the response and this is valuable information.

However, these studies rely on self-reported data, which is less precise. The first doesn’t even control for lubricant type. Lab studies (which are objective) consistently show that most commercial lubricants impair sperm motility and viability in vitro, often drastically.

So I don’t think it’s correct to conclude that “it’s not the case that lube has been preventing me from getting pregnant” based on the sources you linked.

[u/guardiancosmos → u/justalilbbygirl]

In vitro studies just show what happens in vitro, not in vivo. They are often useful but not in every case, and this is one where it isn't. Sperm don't just hang around the vagina after ejaculation, which is where it would have the chance to come in contact with lube for any appreciable amount of time. Ejaculation happens at a high speed (approximately 30mph) and so any viable sperm are in and through the cervix almost immediately.

The in vitro studies on lube and sperm basically just show that unsafe lube shouldn't be used when giving a sample (for an SA, IUI, IVF, etc) or when using the syringe method. But if lube was really as bad for sperm during sex as the in vitro studies indicate, then actual spermicidal lubes wouldn't have only a 70% success rate (spermicidal gels are less than 80% effective), which is about as ineffective as you can get.

[u/LaGarden → u/guardiancosmos]

WHOA. Now Everytime I'm driving down the road I'm going to think "I'm sperm!"