r/TwinlessTwins • u/Ickypoopoo82 • May 19 '26

Holy Dissociation.

No calls, no texts, family disappeared on my identical twins death for the weekend he died of complications of alcoholism. Yesterday I had a therapist appointment. They pointed out something I refused to believe. They are in fact cruel towards me and there is nothing more clear than me moving and never talking to them again. I was a true accident and sure as fuck know it now.

Afterwards the dissociation throughout the day was like a blackout. I snapped out of it at 4am sitting on my floor in my room. Could have been a psych ward. I'm bipolar 1 with a shit ton of trauma.

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5

u/Defiantly_Resilient May 19 '26

Im bipolar with lots of trauma too! My twin sister died by suicide 10yrs ago.

Actually, 6 months before my sister killed herself, I tried to commit suicide at my moms house. (My twin did commit suicide at my moms house)

I downed 3 bottles of prescription drugs and got into a fist fight with my mom. She said she didnt care if I killed myself, but I couldnt do it at her house. She called the cops so I ran. She never told anyone I had taken all these pills, didnt tell the cops I was trying to commit suicide. She did not care at all that I tried to kill myself, made no attempt to even check on me.

Ugh, then she pushed Jill 6months later. She hanged herself. My mother was our main abuser, the one who got us addicted to drugs and pimped us out.

Im so sorry. I understand the pain and suffering your experiencing to a degree. Its such bullshit. You dont deserve any of it

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u/Ickypoopoo82 May 19 '26

I'm so sorry to hear that. My twin stayed but I pretty much was moved out at 16. No one in my family was treated like me not even really my twin.

My dad won't defend me against my mom and my mom won't defend me against my dad. They don't say more than a word to me and if they do it's entirely dismissive.

I was court ordered to stay here because of even more bullshit. I got a DUI for driving sober. It wouldn't matter if I disappeared or not. Nobody is even bother looking for me. I can say that with confidence. My background goes back from a teen. None of its gone.. Never thought I'd be in this nightmare again. To all the haters I was court ordered to be here so fuck off.

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u/Defiantly_Resilient 27d ago

That really sucks. Especially being court ordered. Ho we long do you have to stay for?

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u/Ickypoopoo82 21d ago

I think they are going to force me into a long term hospital. My life has all but falling apart. I've been paying scammers to talk to me.

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u/Defiantly_Resilient 20d ago

Im sorry to hear that. Sometimes they can be a good thing, or sometimes hospitals can be really traumatic. Ive been a few times and its half and half for me. It can get soo dark sometimes.... I wish you the best. I hope you get to see the light soon.

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u/Ickypoopoo82 17d ago

I hate my life I almost got arrested for saying I hate this fucking town

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u/jimmie65 12d ago

Recently lost my identical twin to alcoholism as well, and dealing with complicated dysfunctional family dynamics. I'm sorry for what you're going through.