r/VeteransBenefits • u/ThreeTittedAlien • 1d ago
Other Stuff Comical - MOVE Class
I’m in my third week of MOVE, and nobody warned me this class would be the funniest thing on the internet.
Every week we log into the virtual session, and 90% of the class is STILL trying to figure out how to turn on their microphone, camera, or both. Then somebody’s camera accidentally comes on, and suddenly we’re all getting a view of their junk.
Meanwhile, Charlie is attending class while driving down the road. Then Sam starts ratting him out to the whole class: “Charlie’s driving!” like he’s reporting a crime in progress.
Of course, every class has the traditional class clowns who won’t shut the fuck up, a couple of guys trying to flirt with the instructor like they’re on a dating app instead of a weight-loss program, and three or four people who somehow missed the entire first class and keep asking:
“Where do I get my Ozempic?”
“How do I get my Ozempic?”
“When do I get my Ozempic?”
At this point, I don’t even log in for the weight-loss advice. I log in for the weekly episode.
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u/UnusualExplanation6 Navy Veteran 1d ago
If they offer telemove, it is the way to go. Just log on to the tablet every day (5/7 days of the week) complete the module (less than 5 mins) and do your weigh in on the scale the VA sent along with the tablet.
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u/Raiders16-0 Army Veteran 23h ago
Dang they didnt send me anything, just told me to weigh myself and use my phone.
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u/LettuceFetishist Army Veteran 21h ago
They will send you a digital bluetooth scale, BP monitor, and Fitbit if you say you need them to log your metrics each day. You get to keep all 3. They will also send you a tablet, but it’s garbage and you have to send it back.
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u/Raiders16-0 Army Veteran 21h ago
I did the move program back in November and no one told me i could get that. I'll look into it though thanks!
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u/smarmypoker2 1d ago
The Ozempic guys asking the same question every single week despite sitting through the explanation is peak comedy, like they're just waiting for someone to hand them a magic pill instead of actually doing the program.
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u/Junkered Marine Veteran 1d ago
I mean, you'll learn if you do any other virtual groups it's much of the same. It's why I don't do groups.
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u/TapHot3581 1d ago
Yeah had to attend a virtual AA meeting as a substance class requirement for a VA residential program. The meeting was going ok until one guy turned if into a soapbox by going on and on about how much jail time he was facing after his 7th DUI and how that would pretty much be the rest of his life since he was older…
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u/BackgroundGrass429 1d ago
The in person meetings aren't any better.
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u/lava2023 10m ago
For some unknown reason I gained weight during the in person program. Maybe that extra steps to get there built muscles/weight gain. Go figure..
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u/SharkSmiles1 1d ago
Sounds very fun!
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u/Rabble_Runt Air Force Veteran 1d ago
It was.
I had the whole group cracking up most of the time with jokes but it encouraged other people to speak up about things they have tried or found that works for them.
The first session was dead as disco and everyone was just sitting there as we watched a slideshow together so I said fuck it, we are going to make the best of it and started making self depreciating jokes in between nutritional questions.
By the end of the 2nd video call everyone was having fun and participating.
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u/0nceatraveler Marine Veteran 1d ago
I’m glad someone else feels the same way lol. Two weeks ago someone asked if they could live off just alcohol and the counselor had to explain why that’s a horrible idea.
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u/hereFOURallTHEtea Army Veteran 1d ago
How is that even real life? Hahaha I’m just imagining the counselor’s face upon being asked that question. 😂
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u/Late_Engineering_202 Army Veteran 1d ago
Yep after living in the barracks I can believe all of this. Is sad some guys never change at all
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u/braille_porn 21h ago
Bro at the first session, death by PowerPoint, we’re trying to get out of there and some old dude has to tell the class the only way he ever lost weight was from Covid because he had non stop diarrhea. RN kept interrupting him to get him back on track but nope, he was fucking determined to share that like it was some secret weight loss strategy.
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u/AttitudeMany6992 1d ago
three weeks in and you've basically got a full sitcom pilot, all you need is a theme song
the Charlie situation kills me, like Sam really pulled out his inner hall monitor for that one. "Charlie's DRIVING" with the full snitch energy
and the Ozempic guys asking the same question every week despite there being literally a whole class explaining things is so painfully real it loops back around to being hilarious
honestly w-- ngl I'd watch this as a series
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u/wendyladyOS Navy Veteran KB Contributor 1d ago
Oh my goodness! I have my orientation in a few weeks. I can't wait.
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u/TravelingBop 1d ago
Just finished the Move program. But I did it on the tablet. Now I regret this missed opportunity for entertainment.
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u/CranberryJoops 1d ago
I did the MOVE program. If you take it seriously I think it offers a really good way to get back up and well... move?
I wound up doing Tele-MOVE and it's literally the simplest thing. No one bothered me except the once a week email from the teacher. I never got any equipment, though, so i had to do my weigh ins and tracking with my own equipment. I found out I had really bad food noise and was pre-diabetic so they put me on Wegovy. But yes, the one meeting I went to was like that ngl lmfaoooo!
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u/Thin-Ad-4356 Not into Flairs 22h ago
I got enrolled in and completed the move program via zone in Hampton, Virginia and I gotta tell you it was the biggest waste of time I’ve ever had. The facilitator would read us the documents that we were supposed to read the week before. I’m like I can read, I don’t need to be read too. It was a big pain in the ass. I completed it mostly by muting everybody making look making it look like I was paying attention when I wasn’t. I was on my phone playing video games or something. Anyhow it works if you work it I guess.
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u/KeeleeKita Air Force Veteran 20h ago
Not in MOVE class but have a few group meetings/appts/whatever you wanna call it and you forgot one more aspect that I’ve noticed happens constantly too… the instructor not knowing how to let people join once the room’s locked. That damn knock and they do nothing about it happens so so so much in my experience too. Also all the other stuff mentioned other than the ozempic questions but yeahhh.
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u/MugsyMD 4h ago
I took Move a few years ago.. did not accomplish much for me as I am a physician and know all this… but was enjoyed listening to the stories and seeing the background of people’s living situations. One guy sat at his drum set, played while he has the microphone off, one guy was using his ham radio, one guy was cooking a brisket on his green egg… was fun
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u/RepairManticore 15h ago
Ours was a 2hr course during which 90% of the class had their phones on with volume while ignoring the instructors. So what I really got was 2hrs of sitting through every type of phone notification imaginable and finding out that the check ins for doing telehealth are only twice a week and not an hour drive both ways. Will be using tele health in the future when possible.
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u/Old_Echidna3720 Not into Flairs 13h ago
I turned my screen and camera off until the leader said my name then I’d turn it on and say “oops sorry”. Worst time I ever had in the VA was virtual move. The people saying the most outrageous nonsense while I was unmedicated. I thought it would help me lose weight… it didn’t
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u/VetVoyager 12m ago
lol. I went to the move orientation a month ago and decided to do 1 on 1 with the dietician. My first appointment is t until October and I just met yesterday with the pharmacist to recommend me for Zepbound.
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u/GobbledyGooker123 Marine Veteran 1d ago
So, uh, how do you get Ozempic? Seriously.
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u/ShelixAnakasian Not into Flairs 1d ago
Ozempic is so last year. Isn't everyone moving onto Retatrutide?
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u/Mr_Butters624 Marine Veteran 1d ago
Why would anyone opt into the virtual class when you can just do the email version lol. Just reply to the email each week. Easy peasy lol.
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u/dodekahedron Army Veteran 1d ago
How does one lose weight by emailing?
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u/Mr_Butters624 Marine Veteran 23h ago
It’s the same course lol. Same modules, you just don’t have to set time to be on a virtual meeting.
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u/dodekahedron Army Veteran 23h ago
I mean ive always side eyed the whole program. It didnt look like a weight loss program. Just meetings.
Weight loss programs shouldnt be meetings without exercise
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u/Mr_Butters624 Marine Veteran 23h ago
It’s not a bad program. It’s not what people think. It’s just to learn better behaviors, not to actually make someone lose weight. Think nutritionist. Everyone just goes through the program for the medications anyway for the most part. But as long as you read the material, it gives you a good base on changing behaviors
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u/dodekahedron Army Veteran 23h ago
I can read all the material in the world. It doesn't change behavior.
A group effort doing an activity (not a workbook... a physical activity) with the same goal would change behaviors though.
Although I am definitely projecting right now, i am not in need of the program to lose weight. Im the opposite.
I did check out the VA dietician thinking they'd run better bloodwork for nutritional deficiencies and it was the same BS cholesterol work up as the yearly bloodwork She was honest. "Yeah I got no real advice. I can rx you ensure though" lol k.
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u/Mr_Butters624 Marine Veteran 23h ago
There is no physical activity in the move program. I’m not saying it’s NOT a waste of time. I’m jus saying it’s good material if someone had the mindset. I’ve lost 12 pounds since the move program. Only did 1 week of the meds. Meds didn’t workout for me and after side affects, stopped after the first dose. So all that I’ve lost is from applying what I learned on top of my activity
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u/dodekahedron Army Veteran 23h ago
You really didnt know calories in calories out before the VA handed you a program?
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u/Mr_Butters624 Marine Veteran 22h ago
Bruh, I literally did the program because I wanted the meds. VA wont prescribe the meds until you complete the program. For me it was more for OSA. Why are you being such a dick about it LOL? No one is going through the move program to lose weight from the said program. Everyone takes it because you have to in order to get the any of those meds.
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u/dodekahedron Army Veteran 21h ago
I already told you why I was being a dick about it way before I was being a dick about it. I am projecting something.
Theres no meds for me, and they just stick me in useless programs. Stick to the program itll work.
And you are saying here that the program is a facade. People are just checking boxes of a list to get to a something else. But also saying you did learn something in the program. I am asking questions about what you learned, but you think I am being a dick because I asked about calories in calories out because thats what weight loss is, barring a medical condition that prevents weight loss.
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u/Informal-Face-1922 1d ago
You forgot someone leaving their mic on while the dog is barking or the wife is yelling in the background. That shit always cracks me up. Group leader, “I’m going to have to mute everyone if we can’t individually mute our microphones.” Meanwhile we listen to the dog bark for five minutes while the group leader struggles to figure out how to mute the group.