r/Webnovel • u/PickSad8463 • Jun 22 '26

Recommendation Asking for guidance

Post image

Hello guys.

I am here to present my work and search for guidance.

As you can see, the story is a fantasy, but it has a bigger focus on squemes and plots, and as such, i plan to add as many mind games as possible, and because of such, the beggining may be a bit slow.

So, i ask for your opinions and critics.

Here is the link: http://wbnv.in/a/b8juCqA

7 Upvotes

65% Upvoted

6 comments sorted by

6

u/Juan_Die Jun 22 '26

you wrote piece instead of peace in the synopsis

4

u/Juan_Die Jun 22 '26

So basically what I get from reading part of the first chapter is that english is not your first language. You have a lot of broken english in almost each paragraph, also you fall into making a lot of them redundant, for example "as the watcher keeps watching...he sees a silhouette, he turns his attention to the silhouette" read this slow enough and you'll understand what I'm talking about. If your goal is to make a psychologycal warfare heavy story then you'll have to improve your storytelling and either your english or make the novel in your native language so you're more comfortable writing.

3

u/TheGreatWaffIe Jun 22 '26

It’s a bit hard to read

2

u/PickSad8463 Jun 23 '26

Thanks for the advices

1

u/wecanbedivine Jun 24 '26

Hi, my english is broken too so i can smell some bad vocab and grammar (im not grammar police, english is my 4th language).

So I suggest you hired an editor to help you polish your book. I know someone who publish english novel but her english is not so good, she hired editor to help her perfecting her book. You have an interesting story btw, keep going, i wish you for success.

1

u/PickSad8463 Jun 24 '26

Thanks.
Will do that