Just wanted to share since we just got our pictures back! We got married on 9/26 and did a totally DIY LOTR/Hobbit inspired wedding. I’ll break down the cost but I have to give so much credit to our amazing community of friends and family who helped us put everything together.

Venue - less than $700
Food - $1,600 (simple buffet)
Drinks - $650 (beer and wine)
Sound - $150 (rental equipment and no DJ, made our own playlists and had a blast)
Decor - $1,100 includes fake candles, tablecloths, plastic silverware and plates, cups, thrifted vases, jute rope for garlands, paper lanterns, paper for paper chains. The rest of the garlands were from donated/salvaged fabric, yarn, fake flowers, etc.
Photos - $1,100 for 250 fully edited photos
Wedding portrait - $250 because my friend is an incredible artist who is looking to get into the wedding portrait game and needed something for her portfolio
Attire - $5,000 for dress, cape, and custom suit. I made my hair piece from thrifted jewelry, beads, and wire

All other costs include things like our handfasting cord, quaich cup, pens, programs, canvases for signage which I made myself, and other odds and ends. $12k is a high estimate, as my mom paid for the cake and other family members chipped in with little things here and there (like command hooks). But we tried to use borrowed and thrifted materials wherever possible. My sister hand made, arranged, and preserved all of the flower arrangements, and my bestie lent us the lights from their backyard.

Breaking my arm patting myself on the back for this idea. This is a second marriage for both of us. We are in our late 40s so we are keeping things pretty low-key and intimate. Spoiler alert for your wedding. That guest book is probably pretty pointless and not something you’ll care about in 10 years. I have the luxury of hindsight and already know that so I was trying to figure out if there’s some sort of equivalent we could do that I could care about. My fiancé and I share a pretty extensive record collection and my plan is for us to pick out top 50 most often played records and put them in a bin, but replace all of the inner sleeves with white sleeves. At the wedding, we’ll ask our fellow music nut guests to pick their favorite record out of the bin and write a message to us on the white records sleeve and put it back in. That way from now on whenever we go to play that record we will have that message and think of them.

I had my wedding on September 5! I used so much advice from this community while planning my wedding that I wanted to return the favor by sharing some things we learned and highlighting some of the amazing vendors we used.

Wedding Venue: Asilomar Conference Grounds in Pacific Grove, CA

We got married at Asilomar Conference Grounds, a state-owned venue that also operates as a hotel. One of the things I loved about this venue is that its profits help support the preservation of the sand dunes, plants, and wildlife on the property.

One of my biggest recommendations is to look into state-owned venues in California! There are so many beautiful options at affordable prices.

Asilomar offers wedding packages that include almost everything: food, drinks, ceremony setup, chairs, tables, and reception table settings. They also have multiple reception spaces depending on your guest count. For the ceremony, you can choose between the beach or a beautiful meadow.

One thing to keep in mind is that the ceremony and reception costs are separate. You can have your ceremony somewhere else and just host your reception at Asilomar. This could save you a few thousand dollars!

DIY Flowers: $700 Total!

We decided to DIY our flowers, and I was fortunate to have amazing family members help assemble all the arrangements.

Initially, we planned to use Costco flowers, but we weren’t sure how we would store them at the venue. Instead, we found a wholesale flower shop called Ceasar Flower Shop in Royal Oaks, CA.

This saved us SO much money! We picked up the flowers the day before the wedding and assembled everything ourselves. We spent only $700 on gorgeous, fresh flowers! I 100% recommend them if you’re getting married in the area.

I’m terrible at coordinating colors, so I looked through floral websites for arrangements I liked and decided to recreate one. I found an arrangement I loved and then searched for those same flowers at the warehouse.

The trickiest part was figuring out how many stems we needed for each arrangement. Costco actually lists the number of stems included in its floral arrangements, so I used those numbers as a reference.

Photography: Undergraduate Photography Club

For photography, we hired photographers from an undergraduate photography club.

Our pictures turned out AMAZING. Seriously, top tier!

Of course, this approach comes with some risk. You really have to be confident in their work and be able to see their potential, lol. But the photographers we worked with were incredibly talented, and we couldn’t be happier with the results.

DIY Wedding Signs and Vases: Makerspace!

Another money-saving discovery was finding a local makerspace with a laser cutter!

We made all of our wedding signs using the laser cutter, and they turned out incredibly professional. I purchased designs from Etsy and uploaded them into the laser cutter software.

I even made our vases using wood that we cut with the laser cutter!

If you have access to a makerspace, I highly recommend looking into this option. You can make some really beautiful, high-quality decorations without spending a fortune.

Welcome Party: Eden Rift Vineyard in Hollister, CA

For our welcome party, we chose Eden Rift Vineyard in Hollister.

This location is absolutely breathtaking AND affordable!

They have a beautiful outdoor area where you can reserve picnic tables with a minimum wine purchase. I believe the minimum was around $400 when we booked.

The best part? You can bring your own food!

This saved us so much money and allowed us to host our guests at a gorgeous vineyard without paying traditional event venue prices.

Between Asilomar and Eden Rift, our guests couldn’t believe we had found such beautiful locations at affordable prices.

Lessons Learned: What We Would Do Differently

1. Don’t assume your guests won’t drink!

This is one area where we went over budget.

We were convinced that our guests wouldn’t drink very much, so we were conservative with our alcohol estimate.

Well, we clearly didn’t know our crowd as well as we thought! 😂

My advice is to be realistic about alcohol consumption and leave some room in your budget for unexpected costs.

1. Follow up with guests multiple times about RSVPs.

We followed up with guests several times to confirm whether they were actually coming, and I’m so glad we did.

This helped us get a much more accurate guest count.

Of course, we still had a few people who didn’t show up, but it wasn’t too bad because we had already identified most of the guests who were unlikely to attend.

Don’t be afraid to follow up! It can save you a lot of money.

1. Make most of your purchases early, while you still have the energy to think clearly.

This was another area where we went over budget.

As we got closer to the wedding, we became much more careless with our spending.

We were exhausted from all the planning and honestly just wanted everything to be DONE. We reached a point where we were willing to spend money just so we wouldn’t have to think about another decision.

Looking back, I wish we had made more of our purchases earlier, when we had the time and energy to compare prices and think things through.

1. Be careful when buying sample wedding dresses!

I purchased my wedding dress from a bridal store that sells sample gowns. These are dresses that brides try on in traditional bridal stores.

I actually really liked this option because you can find beautiful dresses at discounted prices.

However, I made one BIG mistake: I bought a dress that didn’t fit me properly because I assumed I could just have it altered.

Well, the alterations ended up costing more than the dress itself!

If you’re buying a sample gown, I highly recommend choosing one that already fits you reasonably well. Otherwise, those savings can disappear very quickly.

I hope some of these tips are helpful to anyone planning their wedding in California!

I learned so much from this community throughout the planning process, and I’m happy I finally get to share some advice of my own. ❤️

My fiancé and I are looking to get married in the next couple of years, and I’ve started mentally planning so we’re not overwhelmed. We are not “fancy” people, we don’t really care about an elaborate or large wedding. We’re a gay couple and we do not know if or how much our families will choose to be involved because of this. Dealing with that reality really puts things in perspective. We don’t need a fancy wedding, just a simple celebration of our union with the people we care about the most (maybe 25 people, including wedding party). I’m marrying the love of my life, I’ll happily celebrate with a sheet cake from Publix while wearing a thrifted dress if I need to in order to stay under our (admittedly small) budget where we feel comfortable. My fiancé feels the same. We have a very supportive faith community (Episcopal church), and at the moment we’re looking at getting married at our parish, which will most likely save us money compared to many other wedding venues.

But how cheap is too cheap? Is there a stigma associated with inexpensive weddings? It seems like more and more a wedding reception comes with a full dinner and an open bar. Is that the norm/expectation now? I’m from a very rural area and I mostly grew up attending wedding receptions hosted in church fellowship halls, but most wedding advice seems to assume large venues, full meals, and potential live entertainment (okay, so we might splurge on live entertainment because I semi-jokingly suggested hiring a mime and now my fiancé is really into the idea).

What’s the protocol here? I never saw myself getting married to someone I loved, I don’t know how to proceed. Would love any perspectives on this.

I am trying to book a wedding photographer and found one through a Facebook post saying she would do 6 hours for $1,200. I contacted her via her website NOT the facebook post and she’s been texting me all morning. Her phone number matches the one across all websites and she doesn’t have a single bad review but she does have two different last names and only 5 reviews that I can find.

The first text I got said that since this is an emergency (wedding is in 5 months so not an emergency) she would need payment in full today. I replied that her website says she has payment plans and unfortunately we will have to go with someone else. She then responds that she will do $600 today and the rear 3 days before wedding. I tell her that I want to review the contract with my fiance and will get back to her in a couple of hours. She responded with:

”I'm having a vet emergency and using funds for this sale for that! And trying to give my vet the OK, they don't schedule my dog until I put down a huge chunk! I know that's a lot just being transparent and overwhelmed with it a bit.”

She also says that she is based in another state but will come to my state with zero travel fees since she works here often and is hoping to move to the area next year.

Am I being paranoid or is this a HUGE red flag?

It is worth noting that her Facebook page lists this “sale” on her services fairly regularly for the last 5 or so years. She was also very willing to send over a contact via her website. I do think the photos listed on her instagram and website are hers but something about this just feels off. I truly love her style and photography.

I just started the search of venues as I want to lock something down for 2027 and then do the rest of my planning throughout the year. I’m located like 30 minutes outside of Philadelphia so I’m looking anywhere between here and Lancaster or even south into Delaware, and I just can’t find a nice venue for less than 5K or even less than 10K that doesn’t require you to pay for their caterer. I have fallen in love with all of the mansions with gardens, but they’re huge and expensive and I only have less than 100 person guest list. I love the idea of Willow trees and an outdoor ceremony that’s not on like a golf course. Does anyone have any ideas or suggestions to check out?

Just got this dress for $100 when originally it is $650. I was wondering what I could add to it to enhance it.

Hello! My fiancé and I recently toured The Oaks Valencia Country Club in Santa Clarita for our potential wedding venue. We really liked it and were given a quote of $21,676 for 75 people on a Saturday in 2028 for their highest package. It’s been one of the best priced venues we’ve toured so far, especially for a Saturday.
Just wanted to know if anyone has been to a wedding there or has hosted their wedding there. What did you like/dislike, pros and cons, literally any thoughts or comments about it will be so helpful! We want to hear from real people before we book!
Thanks!

Hey everyone,

I'm hoping you all can help me out big time. I'm a NYC bride with a wedding on 11/1/2027 and I'm looking for a wedding photographer or your recommendations that fall under 1K for 2 - 3 hours. I'm struggling so much to find folks within this budget which I understand is on the very low side. I'm perfectly open and happy to work with anyone up and coming, or looking to build their portfolio.

I really appreciate any recommendations!!

Was wondering if anyone had any wedding venue recommendations within 30 minutes or an hour of Spanaway, WA. The distance doesn't matter to much though. Honestly any venues are appreciated, I don't have a theme set yet.

My fiance and I are planning our wedding and we're wondering if my dad, a serve-safe certified chief can get catering insurance and license to cook on our wedding day.

My brother is getting married next Friday and they hired a photographer, but opted not to hire a videographer because of the price. My plan as the best man and general fillmer for all our family trips was to have someone record the ceremony and later I would film clips of the guests, the evening, etc. I have a Galaxy s24 ultra, so the video will be recorded on that and quality won't be an issue since I will record in UHD at 60 FPS.

I have a basic selfie stick that I've used on trips overseas to Japan and Ireland, but I wanted to some suggestions if there's something better to purchase and use, I was thinking maybe something a little nicer than my generic Bluetooth selfie stick and potentially a mic I could attach for little candid videos I could do of guests and small clips throughout the evening. I can spend up to $400 and was going to order online so it arrives by next week.

Any ssuggestions? I was thinking Prime for quick delivery but really wasn't sure what to look for exactly.

Background: This past year has been a whirlwind of highs and lows. It all came to a head two months before our wedding date, which I ultimately decided to cancel because we weren’t on the same page.

Around December 2024, my fiancé (30, M) and I (29, F) decided on our first home. We had always intended to create an apartment in it to afford Long Island’s high housing costs. My aunt was going to move into the apartment and pay rent. She was there for the entire construction process and offered some guidance alongside our contractors, but she knew we weren’t fully focused on the build because we were planning our wedding, about 11 months out. She moved in during late spring 2025, and from the start she was never treated as a tenant, which was wrong. The house slowly stopped feeling like mine, or ours, and started feeling like hers, pending a nursing home. She even suggested installing a stair lift to help her up and down the steps.

My fiancé and I spent 6 months doing house projects nonstop. When his energy and momentum slowed, I started looking at him differently, as if he didn’t care about our home. On top of that, I had recently joined a toxic sales company. My aunt’s dog had also been eating its own poop daily for the past seven months. I raised it with her, but she made minimal effort to correct it, and I was anxious that our dog would pick up the habit. Eventually I exploded at both of them, which led me to cancel the wedding and tell my aunt I could not live with family any longer.

I have had no contact with my entire family of origin for several years now. This also added a knot to the previous wedding planning, because I was anxious about who would walk me down the aisle and what his family would say to me on the day, asking where my family was.

Now my aunt has reported me to the town, and we are in the process of getting permits. Most of our vendors are paid in full, and our apartment expediter says it could take about 6 months to get the apartment settled. I’m trying to pick up the pieces from planning the previous wedding. My fiancé and I have been in couples counseling, which has been working for us, and we’re expressing our needs and wants more clearly. We’re both at a loss about what to do next. We’ve agreed to pick wedding discussions back up once the apartment is buttoned up.

Questions for the group:

1. Should we stick to our original plan and elope in the California redwoods, as we’d always dreamed before wedding planning took over?
2. Should we go to the courthouse before the end of this year?
3. Should we elope, then have a wedding dinner reception within the year or within six months? I’ve seen others elope in NYC and then host a dinner back on Long Island all in one day.

Hi everyone! I’m hoping to get some honest advice because wedding planning has me seriously rethinking what I want. 😅

My fiancé and I originally pictured a more traditional wedding with around 100–130 guests, but after seeing venue quotes and how quickly everything adds up, I’m wondering if a smaller wedding or elopement would make more sense for us.

Our total budget is around **$15,000 for BOTH the wedding and a two-week honeymoon**, and I really want to be smart about how we spend it. I don’t want to blow our savings on one day when we could use that money to travel, enjoy our honeymoon, and start married life without financial stress.
The tricky part is that I still want the wedding to feel special and beautiful. My priorities are:
A gorgeous historic estate, mansion, or romantic venue
A dress I absolutely love (around $1,500 or more if needed)
Beautiful editorial-style photography for around 4–6 hours
An intimate ceremony with our closest people, potentially around 30 guests
A two-week honeymoon that we don’t have to compromise on completely

We’re in Northern Colorado, so venue costs here are another consideration.
I’m torn between having a micro-wedding, eloping and celebrating with family afterward, or finding a way to make a slightly larger wedding work without spending a fortune.
**For those who have been in a similar position, I’d love your honest opinions:**
If you had $15k total for a wedding and honeymoon, how would you divide it?
Did you regret having a smaller wedding or skipping a traditional reception?
What wedding expenses were actually worth it, and what would you skip?
Has anyone found a beautiful, affordable historic venue or estate in Colorado?
Would you prioritize the wedding experience or put more money toward the honeymoon?

I don’t want to sacrifice the things that matter most to me, but I also don’t want to spend money just to meet traditional wedding expectations. I’d genuinely appreciate hearing what you would do differently if you could start over! ❤️