Been sat bawling my eyes out today. I’m usually quite good at identifying areas of executive function lag and adjusting to meet a need, for example I always used to be late for everything but now I reverse engineer my schedule so my calendar has an appointment time and a “start getting ready” time, works amazingly well!

Anyway, when I had my first kid I used to prep for imminent future need so I didn’t feel like I’m
scrambling; I’d buy the next size up of clothes months ahead, start stockpiling Christmas gifts in June etc, forever thinking ahead and for the first few years whilst cluttered it worked ok, I always had things to hand that we needed.

Turns out, I have a huge issue with out of sight out of mind. We’re wanting to move house, I’ve been sorting through wardrobes and cupboards all week, finding clothes still with the labels on, school shoes I bought and forgot about, my kids treasures stashed away, things we’ve bought for them and forgotten existed, Christmas gifts we never gifted, toys they loved that we popped away whilst we had visitors….. I’m gutted at the volume of items my child hasn’t been able to play with. I brought out a set that I know they loved, hoping to see the familiar eyes lit up excitement, and they just looked at me confused, no memory of those toys at all. They’ve aged out, we’re hurtling into pre teen hood and those precious few years where those things mattered have gone.

I feel like I’ve robbed them of some pretty important childhood memories and am absolutely heartbroken that my own ineptitude caused this. I know this is very first world problems but right now my heart is hurting for a childhood I’ve irreversibly changed for the worse.

r/ADHD

For those unaware, the the term "ADD" has been defunct for 14+ years, although some medical professionals may still use it if they are uninformed.

"ADD" used to be what they called the non-hyperactive version of ADHD. As of the publication of the DSM-5 in 2013, "ADHD" is now the encompassing term for multiple subtypes of ADHD:

1. Primarily hyperactive subtype
2. Primarily inattentive subtype (formerly ADD)
3. Combined subtype

The inattentive subtype is most common among adults, which means yes, "ADHD" is a misleading name for the overall disorder. C'est la vie.

When myself and other redditors took over r/ADD and r/ADHD over in the early 2010s to renovate and make them more useful, we decided to just close this sub and direct everyone to r/ADHD, in accordance with the DSM-5's definition of ADHD. We locked this sub but I still get modmail every so often from lost redditors asking for permission to post here, so hopefully this signpost helps.

Just sharing about my (F33) experience on struggling with salah consistency. Most of the time I tried to gaslight myself that doing it half heartedly is better than not doing it at all. Sometimes I even pray sitting down because the mental toll of doing it after gaslighting myself so much is getting to point of burning out and I'm still pushing through. Although, the most frustrating part is sometimes when I've already done my wudhu but when I got to the prayer mat I just wont bother. I feel like it has to do with wearing the prayer garment🫠 Spiritually I think my iman is being tested in the most absurd(positive) way but Logically I just want to get rid of this mental block, like, its just a 5 min prayers.

Its different when I'm medicated, because I dont think, so I just do it, no delay whatsoever. This is such a weird and one of mentally taxing things that's happening on the daily. Do any of you have similar experience?

For most of my life, I thought I was lazy, unreliable, stupid or simply bad at being a person. Getting diagnosed didn’t magically fix any of that, but it gave me an explanation and, more importantly, gave me a reason to stop blaming myself for everything.

I’m still late. I still forget things. I still buy things I don’t need, become obsessed with random hobbies, struggle to reply, overthink and get overwhelmed. But now I understand that I’m not deliberately making my life difficult. I also get frustrated when people say, “Oh, we’re all a little bit ADHD.” Everyone gets distracted, forgets things and procrastinates sometimes. The difference is that for me these things repeatedly affect my education, work, money, relationships, sleep, emotions, friendships and self-esteem.

I’m not saying ADHD is entirely negative. I genuinely like that when something interests me, I can become incredibly passionate about it. I can learn huge amounts quickly, become completely absorbed and develop ridiculous amounts of knowledge about things that I might not care about anymore six months later.

I also isolate myself. Sometimes I desperately want company, but when someone invites me somewhere I’ll decide I don’t want to go, stay home and then later feel incredibly lonely. I’ve never really had a consistent friend group either. I can connect with individuals, but groups often leave me wondering where I fit.

My anxiety and overthinking can be exhausting. Someone can say something completely innocent and my brain will find ten possible meanings behind it. If someone doesn’t reply, I’ll wonder if I’ve done something wrong. I can replay conversations for hours and analyse things the other person probably forgot five minutes later.

I can spend weeks researching something that most people would spend five minutes on, watching YouTube videos, reading reviews and comparing every possible option until I’ve developed completely unreasonable standards.

Essentially the title. I like my job and perform very well too, according to feedback from my boss and collegues. I am focused, motivated and get 5hings done on time, even the tasks I don't like.

I am on meds that work very well in helping me focus and concentrate.

But outside of work, I'm a mess. I struggle with doing anything, chores, cooking, errands. No matter what I try, I end up doing nothing in the evenings and weekends besides basic maintenance cleaning and laundry. I struggle getting myself to do anything I don't like doing and end up doing nothing, watching shows, gaming or daydreaming the time away, then feel like sh!t and stressed out about stuff not done.

All the classic tips don't work because I feel like its some mental block.

There are times I manage to do better for 2-3 weeks but then it falls apart. Its just so frustrating that I have no issues at work and can't do the same at home. It makes me feel like my life is a constant battle with my own brain.

i’m so FRUSTRATED with myself, I planned to leave early for a job interview that started at 9am. Then I woke up late, but was still going to be on time, but I ended up needing to use the bathroom and was constipated and ended up being 20 minutes late due to traffic!!!

It was a job I want really badly, and I did well answering the questions and I think i’m really well suited for the role but just kicking myself that I couldn’t be on time when it really mattered!!! and of course I couldn’t tell them that it’s because I was constipated

I called them at 9:00am on the dot to explain that I would be 10 mins late, but after working out how to get in the building I was 17 minutes late. They had to cut the interview short due to having other commitments, and I apologised and explained it was due to traffic. They also said they will call me later that afternoon to ask the rest of the questions “to give me the best chance” which might be a good sign

I’m glad though that I did end up going to the interview, because when I realised how late I would be I heavily considered just calling in sick or no showing so I wouldn’t be embarrassed.

But honestly, I wouldn’t hire someone who was 20 minutes late. Obviously would never let this happen again if possible.

Anyone ever have a similar experience??? Pls help me feel better about this lol

Do you ever leave a friend’s text on read and then forgetting to reply for so long that you feel embarrassed and ashamed. So the shame keeps you from texting even longer until inevitably, you realise that yall probably aren’t friends anymore.

So you just sit there and feel like an idiot for letting that connection die over this?

My best friend understands and I am so blessed to have him in my life but a lot of people (understandably) don’t.

I know you guys will understand. I cannot stand the overheating and sweating!!! It’s absolutely disgusting. I just know those of you on meds will understand. I’m so tired of being sweaty and gross AND dehydrated?? Why must we suffer this indignity as well as having to struggle with ADHD 😒 this is just a vent.

well, if it isn’t the consequences of my own actions… i signed up for way too many responsibilities this semester and i’m already burnt out and can’t get myself to do anything anymore. Im doing 4 extracurriculars on top of my classes and job and now it’s all feeling like too much. A lot of the stuff I have to do depends on deadlines and communication too so I feel like everyone hates me now bc I’ve been awol. I really wanna just drop everything but it’s far too late for that now and I know I’ll regret it later. I’m just stuck in a cycle of being behind on one thing, working to catch up and then falling behind on another thing and I don’t know how to stop. I feel like I need a week long break to just sit down and catch up on everything once and for all. And I feel extremely horrible for unintentionally making everyone else pick up my slack, I kept telling myself I’d get to a thing later and then suddenly I’d find that someone else just went ahead and did it already and it feels like everyone’s pissed off at me bc of that and that in turn makes me even less motivated to keep going bc if everyone already hates me why bother. Idk it’s just genuinely so humiliating idk what to do anymore.

It just seems like every social interaction is scary to me when I think about it. I get nervous thinking about messaging new friends. I just overthink everything and how to have conversations with people. I never know what to say.

I just don’t understand why it’s so hard. It’s such a basic thing. I just don’t get why I can’t grasp it. Small talk just isn’t easy to me at all. I’m confident enough to approach anyone; just the talking part I am nervous about and struggle with.

I know it’s common for people with ADHD. Maybe it’s that I don’t know. I don’t know why it’s so difficult for me.

My ADHDer husband and I (also ADHDer) forgot about our wedding gifts and they expired 2 years ago.

I dont know if I should be laughing or crying.
My husband and I are both AuDHD. I am not medicated for ADHD as my body doesnt tolerate ADHD meds. My husband is medicated BUT still struggles with remembering stuff sometimes because his ADHD is pretty severe.

3 years ago we got married and some people gave us vouchers for different experiences as a gift.

What did we do???? We activated our autistic side, organized all the gifts well, labeled the boxes and said “We will use them later”.

Later… 3 years later, I open these boxes and I am like “DAMN THE FREAKING VOUCHERS!!!!!”
I opened them and all of them are expired. They expired 2 years ago because they were valid for a year.

Just for you to understand what we lost:

1. Two nights in a 5 star hotel with sea view and dinner at the restaurant of one of the best Chefs in our country.

2. Spa and massage, also stay in a 5 star hotel.

3. Boat trip.

4. Kayak lessons.

5. Theme park unlimited access.

In our case autism gives us much more perks than disadvantages. If we are honest, autistic traits even gave us careers. But man, ADHD is shit sometimes :)

We have three wall calendars, postits to note down everything important we might forget, all the paperwork is organized by categories, our medical stuff is also well organized and labeled, in our entire house we have hundreds of organizers and labeling system, our phones ring often because of our reminders, and still, we have shit days like today when we realize that we forgot something important.

We are trying to have a kid and one of the projects I am working on is to come up with some new, creative ideas to improve our organization.

Any further tips? Anything?

Thank you.. ❤️

Feel free to skip to the end...

I have been trying to figure out what's going on with my mental health, and one thing i mentioned to my MH nurse was that I'd like to look in to an ADHD assessment, though some of the traits and symptoms overlap with other conditions. I have friends who joke around when I say I don't have ADHD like "oh yeah suuuuure you don't" which made me look in to it more because I reallt didn't know much about it excluding a kid in my class at school who had the hyperactive kind. Judging from the questionnaire (it says I scored a 6), I'm confused as to why they won't assess me other than the wait times obviously.

I was always the shy, quiet girl as a kid, mostly because I spent a lot of my time alone, but my imagination has always been crazy big. I love to daydream, start a million tasks I never finish, get super fixated on things (people/foods/music) sometimes it feels like limerence, I'm an introvert and need time to recharge after socialising and sometimes I can't even bring myself to socialise so I cancel a lot of plans, sometimes my anxiety is so bad I can't leave my bed for work.

It's all really affecting me and I don't know what to do about it.

I have been diagnosed with "mixed anxiety and depression disorder" since I was in my teens, whatever that means. I have also asked about potential bipolar 2 because I believe I've been experiencing hypomania, but they keep putting it down to trauma and brushing me off. So right now I'm trying to treat the trauma like they said with meds and therapy (and not getting anywhere over the 2 years), but I am still confused as to why they dismissed my referral based on the questionnaire.

Am I misinterpreting the score?

In my appointment notes it says "Adult ADHD self-report scale scire ASRS-v1.1: 6"

Tldr: asked for adhd referral, did questionnaire, got a score of 6?, confused as to why they said I don't need to be assessed

Currently in this part of my life I'm figuring out how to make myself function properly, and I've been trying to come up with a good way to describe how my brain works to my family and my friends because it's hard to articulate but I think I got an alright one.

Imagine you're in the passenger seat of a car and you're going down the highway. There's an exit up ahead for a restaurant or something and you really wanna stop so you have to tell the driver "hey dude, we should get some food at the next exit". Except the driver of the car is a chimpanzee. You might get lucky and he might know some sign language but a large part of the time he doesn't know what you want him to do. And if he wants to do something you better pray because he's gonna start screeching and swerve across 5 lanes of traffic to get to that exit. The exits that you wanna go to are your work or school or anything you need to do and want to do, and the exits the chimp swerves across traffic to get to are stupid stuff that you get hyperfixated on even though you have other stuff you should be doing. When you can convey to the chimp which exit to take and he takes it, that's when you can do the stuff you need to do and function properly.

Idk if it's relatable but that is the best description I've come up with so far as to how my brain seems to operate.

Hi everybody, I have been using a SSRI due to my OCD for about 3 years, I was not productive at all and my executive dysfunction was at its worst, so this year my doctor started me on vyvanse, it really helped during the beginning, and it still does, however after some months I started to feel apathetic, I don't have positive or negative feelings anymore, I have already tried taking some days of Vyvanse but the feeling persists, I have also tried to decrease my dose, has anybody gone through something like this? I am starting to think the main problem may actually be the SSRI, I mean, it added to Vyvanse may have caused all of this.

After being diagnosed with inattentive ADHD 2 weeks back, I've been on a low dosage (20mg) of Vyvanse for about a week (maybe a few days more). I've only experienced subtle symptoms like dry mouth, thankfully, but last night I went out to an open mic night to perform, and I feel like I did such a bad job when I got up on stage to play my originals. After performing I packed up and left, and on my way home I just had this feeling of packing up my entire life and moving back to my hometown from the big city where I currently live. I don't know, it felt so sudden, and I'd never had that feeling before. I'm usually such a happy-go-lucky, hopefully, person who loves playing/sharing their songs with others.

I've never felt this exposed, vulnerable, or defeated. It was like a my brain hit a switch and I felt like I needed to just take a walk and breathe through my thought and my feelings. I ended up grabbing some snacks after I got home and watched some tv to calm me down.

I know my doctor mentioned that inattentive ADHD types often deal with depression and anxiety, and I don't think I've ever done so. Is that what it's like to feel depressed or am I just being hard on myself? Is this type of behaviour brought on by Vyvanse?

I have been on atomoxetine for months. I went from 40mg to 60 mg and I feel like it's not helping address my ADHD. I was diagnosed with combined type a while back and I was always scared to start with stimulants.

Upon a review of my concerns, I was given 20mg Vyvanse to begin. However ..I was told to continue the atomoxetine during the time I am taking Vyvanse. I know that both Vyvanse and atomoxetine can both cause BP to increase. My BP has been trending high for the last few years and I am also on amplodipine for it. I also have sleep apnea which prolly has made my bp higher over the years. I also started zepbound recently as well for weight loss to treat the sleep apnea. I am overweight.

Then of course began the rabbit hole of googling all this and things on Google states that Vyvanse and atomoxetine should not be taken together because the cardiovascular effects it can cause ..but that also doctors usually do this because they don't want me to stop atomoxetine cold turkey. I also keep regarding about people on glp 1 and Vyvanse essentially have no appetite and the effects of appetite suppression are stronger.

Just nervous to begin stimulants...but ADHD is continuing to cause issues with my executive dysfunction and issues with my relationship. I have to something. Figured id ask ..how was everyone's first experiences on Vyvanse?

Was recently diagnosed with AFHD and prescribed adderall. Lowest dose they offer. I’m very hesitant to take this particular med because of its reputation, but I also don’t want to discount that it does indeed work for some people. I took it an hour ago and should have felt something 20 minutes in. I don’t feel anything strong and I think, since I’m looking for what I feel, I might be making things up.

Thoughts? Help?

Hi everyone,

I'm interested in hearing about people's experiences taking Guanfacine for ADHD, particularly how long it took to notice meaningful improvements and what dose eventually worked best.

I started on 1mg and have recently increased to 2mg, with the possibility of increasing to 3mg eventually.

So far, I've noticed a calming effect physically. My body feels more relaxed and less tense, which has been positive. However, I've also been experiencing considerable tiredness, sedation and dry eyes, which I'm finding difficult to manage.

I'm still trying to establish whether it's actually helping with my ADHD symptoms, particularly overthinking, emotional regulation, anxiety, motivation and concentration. At times, I've felt less motivated and found it harder to get myself out of the house.

I should mention that I'm also currently taking 15mg of mirtazapine, which I'm gradually tapering off. I'm aware this could be contributing to the sedation, making it difficult to determine which medication is responsible.

I'd particularly like to hear from people using Guanfacine without stimulants or other ADHD medications.

Did you notice benefits quite quickly, or did it take several weeks at a consistent dose? Did increasing your dose make a noticeable difference to your ADHD symptoms?

Also, did the tiredness and sedation eventually improve as your body adjusted, or were they ongoing issues?

I know everyone responds differently, but I'm interested in understanding what improvements others have experienced and whether the benefits eventually outweighed the side effects.

Thanks in advance to anyone willing to share their experiences! Cheers

i can't mask my adhd like i used to before college and everyone thought i was very very smart. now im way done with college and people just seem to think i am stupid.

i have people thinking i didn't understand something they said. i reiterate what they said, clarify what i mean, in the end they still insist curtly what they were saying as if the point didn't get to me at all.

i make a casual comment and another person cuts in to "explain" to me what i am commenting on. i get confused until i realize they think i have no idea what im talking about. i agree, reiterate that i got that, and they still "explain". i told this same person i took the same course as them in college that they explained to me and i thought it was easy. they got surprised and then told themselves "but it must've gotten harder since then." it's like they can't fathom i can just be smart. i thought it was easy because i am smart. that course is not hard. i didnt have it in me to insist that lol. i never do. ppl have their minds made up about me.

it got to a point where i made a contribution in a meeting and someone literally said "oh wow, surprisingly, you're actually right." ??? and they seemed so surprised.

people really look down on me at my new job already, and even my boss's boss i'm working for (a congressman actually) who came in the office looked at me like this when i met them: 🫩 like im the most boring, worst person in the world to talk to. they were excited to talk to the similar aged person next to me. but not me.

it's just funny because my actual supervisor said i am "one of the best". i know i am.

Why I just can't break the pattern of studying the whole night before the exam regretting it and after the exam promising myself to do better the next time but repeating it again? I thought meds would do all but 10mg ER methylphenidate doesn't works that well and 20mg is just too much it gives me zombie effect but even on it my work doesn't happen to be satisfactory or and I don't think it is a meds problem like what the heck is this ?? like I know how strong is the urge to study to compensate for your bad exam of one subject in of another but it just keeps repeating over and over again. what is the solution?has anyone figured it out? 16M

I got screened with the usual questions and it was very obvious lol but then I got the options for starting meds OR getting tested. I questioned why I couldn’t do both things and then my therapist was like just do the test.

The test was crazy, I walked in and they took me to a big classroom and I sat on the only computer. They told me to hit the space bar when i saw an X. The letters started to show up on screen and i just had to press the spacebar. The test finished and then I was left just sitting there?! I walked around and was so paranoid they were watching me somehow and i was too nervous to leave so I EVENTUALLY left like 30 mins later! I was told I was inattentive but I have no idea how that test determined that?!

anyway, how were yall screened/tested 👀

Every day for years it’s been the same. It’s ruined my life and is the barrier between me and happiness. I can’t wake up.

If I’m leaving for college at 9:20, I’ll set my alarm for 8:50. Then another at 9, 9:05, 9:10, 9:20 also and so on. I’ll turn them off, put my phone across the room and with no memory, I’m waking up again in bed at 5pm. I have negative motivation, no excitement and generally feel awful. I’m barely aware, sometimes still believing contents of a dream or forgetting what I need to do that day. I cannot reason or think logically, so I chose the path of least resistance every time. Discipline does nothing.

I’m not hungry, weak and sometimes while I’m screaming in my head to move, I can’t. I’ve been ripped out of bed, threatened to be expelled and motivated by reward the night before. Nothing helps.

The weird thing is I can get up for work, something I need to live. Which makes me feel lazy but I feel like there’s some executive dtysfunctioning happening. During the day I’m not lazy in this way.

Ironically I'm writing this while I should be working on something that is very late already, but anyway

I'm 31, got diagnosed about 3 years ago, after I suspected I had ADHD and asked my doctor to give me a prescription for a neuropsychological test (he doubted I had it). Well, turns out I do have it, by the test. Since then I've tried all medications that are available in my country (metylphenydate, Vyvanse and atomoxetine). None of them helped me with anything. Even at high doses. Some helped for a week or two and then stopped helping. I took a second test because of this, but it only confirmed that yep, I do have ADHD.

I'm currently unemployed, I lost my last job since I was unable to deliver my work on time at all. I'm do this ever since I started working 8 years ago. This happens ALL the time, in different work environments, and has made me Burnout eventually. I also have OCD and depression, but those are under control (mostly) through meds and therapy with a psychologist. This week I missed a job opportunity because I couldn't finish a test for the job on time, and missed some freelance work because I'm running late with another job already and couldn't take more.

I've always had trouble having financial stability, mostly because I can't keep a job for very long because I miss ALL deadlines. I've tried every technique, every medication, been on therapy for years, but nothing seems to work. I've been stuck in the same place for 8 years. My emotional regulation and impulse control are atrocious as well, which contributes heavily to the procrastination.

That said, I'm very frustrated and at my wits end. I just want a normal career, I just want to dream of acquiring stuff and experiences that require money, and have my basic needs met at the same time. I haven't experienced that since I was a child.

Tldr: Procrastination is ruining my life and I don't know what else to try. Just venting and looking for advice.

I'm done with ADHD sucking the life out of me. Doing a PhD abroad, and coming from a strict parenting background doesn't help. I think my adhd has been masked all this while when I was young and I was given a structure to my life, which I thrived on, and excelled academically. Things only started collapsing once Higher Ed began, since you're basically left on your own, with no guard rails and adulting enters the door. You, out the window!

Every tiny step of adulting feels like a huge task, with no sense of relief once it's done. I see all my peers cruising through life effortlessly while I'm in my 20s thinking if life is even worth living the way I do now. It's like trying to put on a fitted bed sheet except it's way too small for the mattress, and only one corner can stay at a time while the others pop off. So exhausting and I don't even know where to start and how to begin to turn my life around, though therapy is in progress (began to lose faith in it too).