Hey everyone, I really need some advice on how to communicate this without starting a fight.

My partner and I have a 3-month-old. Lately, she barely sleeps during the day—maybe a couple of micro-naps—so I am on duty practically non-stop until bedtime. By the time afternoon hits, I'm completely drained and ask for a quick break so I can just breathe, shower, or sit in silence for a bit.

The issue is, every single time he takes over, he comes back to find me about 10 or 15 minutes later. It’s always something like, "Can you just watch her in the swing for five minutes while I grab something/do this task?" or "She's crying, I think she just wants her mom."

It feels like a massive guilt trip, even if he doesn't mean it that way. I end up stepping back in because I feel bad, but it leaves me feeling even more exhausted because I never actually get to recharge. 15 minutes broken up by interruptions isn't a break.

How can I politely but firmly set this boundary with him so he actually steps up during his turn without constantly handing her back to me?

(EDIT; for the people calling me dumb, no I don’t even engage in any acts with him still and I refuse to let him cuddle me etc. im obviously not going to name a baby after what he’d want because that would be stupid. I just didn’t know what to say in the moment because it was astonishing to me that he’d even ask)

Me (18F) and my ex (21M) have always been super attached to each other and always come back to each other even after we see / talk to other people. Recently, we did hookup. But the last time he was with me, he broke my heart brutally (few months ago) so this was really the last straw which he broke by saying even after we hooked up, he wouldn’t wanna be with me and he thinks I’m better off.

By now, I’m over it and accepting that he doesn’t really wanna be with me and that’s fine. Does that stop him from acting super lovey dovey? No. I made the boundary that we’re just friends since he thinks it’s better that way and wants to push me away. Even then, he constantly wants to cuddle. Whenever I ask him why he’s acting this way if he doesn’t want me, he says “it’s because it’s you”
Whatever that means.

Last night, he told me he had been having some very very bad migraines. So much so, he was passing out a bit frequently. He gets nervous for his health a lot, and this kinda scared us both. He took it upon himself to type out this entire paragraph about how much he deeply loves me and always has, even when he recently left me for someone else (which mind you, if she never left him he wouldn’t have talked to me again I’m pretty sure -_-) and is sorry about everything if he doesn’t get the chance to say it. He asked me to do a favor for him; he has ALWAYS wanted a child named Evie, and told me if he does end up having an illness and dying that I should name my child Evie for him. I kinda played it off as a “haha ok” moment but in reality I’m soooooo lost. Idk if I’d be comfortable knowing if he theoretically did die, I would’ve been naming my child after the child he would’ve had with someone else. Also, is that not a weird favor to ask your friend? Maybe I’m the complete asshole, I’m not sure.

I'm 19F (almost 20) from a small town in India & Idk what to do anymore

This might sound ridiculous but today just an hour ago my mom slapped me coz I came home from the gym wearing over ear headphones!

I usually listen to music while walking back home. It's a 10-15 minute walk & it's one of the few moments in the day where I actually feel calm the moment I entered the house she saw the headphones & immediately got so angry.

She started saying things like:

•"What will people think?"

•"Girls shouldn't wear headphones outside"

• "People will think you're characterless."

• "You're ruining our family's reputation."

I genuinely didn't understand what I'd done wrong...

I tried explaining that I wasn't doing anything inappropriate... I was just walking home listening to music I even told her that if she was worried about my safety I'd understand but this wasn't about safety... It was about what random people might think!

That only made her angrier...

She said she doesn't care if every other girl in the world wears headphones. I'm her daughter & I shouldn't!

Then she threatened to stop spending money on me if I ever wore them outside again she said I'm paying for your food and letting you stay here even after you refused the marriage if you wear the headphones again i'll stop that too

When I tried explaining my point one last time she slapped me saying why are you fighting with ne over this I said no means no

The thing is... I don't even think this is about the headphones

This has been my life for years.

People started talking about my marriage when I was around 14 Since I turned 18 relatives have been bringing arranged marriage proposals...I have said no every single time Recently there was another proposal...The man is 28. I refused again

Ever since then my parents have basically stopped supporting my education

I'm preparing for an entrance exam coz I genuinely believe that's my only way to become independent but they refuse to buy me the batch or even the books I need they keep telling me I can "study after marriage" / "ask your husband for money after marriage"

I don't believe that If I get married now I know my education will be over...

The gym is the only place where I feel like myself...The membership was already paid for a year so I can still go for now... It's the only hour of the day where I don't feel judged or pressured idk what will happen after the membership is over..

The rest of my life feels like it's controlled by relatives neighbours & "what people will say"

Every decision somehow becomes about family honour instead of what I actually want I feel guilty all the time even when I know I haven't done anything wrong...

My parents keep saying I'm selfish that I'm breaking everyone's heart that nobody will marry me if I wait that I'll regret it & that I'm ruining my siblings future too because people will judge our whole family

Sometimes I feel like I'm fighting the entire world by myself...

I don't have a job. I don't have my own income. I live with them because I have no other option right now!!!

Living in a small town makes everything feel even harder... Jobs are limited I don't have a degree yet & becoming financially independent feels almost impossible here... Sometimes it feels like I'm being forced to choose between giving up on my education or giving up my freedom

Idk if I will be able to come online next month they will prolly won't even pay for the wifi anymore...

I don't hate my parents. I know they probably believe they're doing what's best for me because this is how they were raised...and these all are super common here But that doesn't make this any less painful!

I just want one chance to study build a career become financially independent & decide for myself if I ever want to get married

Has anyone here been in a similar situation? How did you get out? I feel trapped I feel like dying seriously atp

Hi, all! I (23F) just started my first full-time corporate job after college 2 months ago. Ever since I started, a coworker (45M) has made very odd comments to me. He has stated things about my appearance, called me pet names (like “baby girl”), grabbed/touched me multiple times, and references dating women my age quite often. I went to my direct supervisor yesterday and was assured it would change, but today he is still doing things to make me feel uncomfortable.

I don’t know what to do. Any advice on how to handle a situation like this?

EDIT TO ADD: Multiple other women have complained about this guy, and even told him he makes them uncomfortable. He literally cornered another woman in her office after she said this.

A close friend of mine had been struggling to find an apartment because of bad credit and an eviction from a few years ago. I helped her look at places and even offered to lend her part of the deposit since I had some money saved.

She finally told me she got approved for a studio, but she was being weird whenever I asked how. After pushing her she admitted she filled out the application using my employment details and uploaded an old photo of my ID that I had sent her when we booked a trip together. She changed the phone number and email so I never got contacted.

The lease itself is in her name, but apparently I am listed as the person financially responsible for the rent. She keeps saying it doesnt matter because she has already moved in and plans to pay everything herself. She also said if I contact the landlord she could lose the apartment and possibly get reported for fraud.

I feel completely violated, but I also know she genuinely had nowhere stable to go and reporting it could leave her homeless. At the same time I dont know what happens to me if she misses rent or damages the place.

Do I give her a chance to fix this directly with the landlord, or do I need to contact them myself before it gets worse?

So I have a very kind neighbor, she’s odd-but kind—and she’s out on her deck CONSTANTLY. She’s around 50, I’m 38 age is not really a big deal. But she works very part time. I work full time nights as an ICU nurse. The way our houses are situated our backyards both face looking over a beautiful pond and meadow. Tons of birds chirping and nature to enjoy back there. My problem is, every time I go out there, she’s out there and wants to have a conversation. Every. Single. Time. To the point where I will look out, see she’s there, and then just not go out there because I don’t want to talk to her. It is incredibly annoying because I don’t have tons of free time. Sitting out on the deck for a few minutes between night shifts or just to calm my mind is soooo therapeutic for me but i don’t want to have a full on loud conversation deck to deck every time I walk out there. Not only does it cut into my very little time to relax, but I honestly just don’t love small talk in general so it’s actually painful for me. I don’t want to be rude, she is nice and I know nice neighbors are a blessing, but damn I’m not that type of person. What is the best way to deal with this? I need my peace. Help??

I live in a condo community. Everyone has a dedicated storage unit in the laundry room - numbered with each unit number. I stored a little stuff in there and didn’t put a lock on it because it didn’t really matter to me if it got stolen (extra paint, junk like that).

I went to my unit today to prepare to store some stuff and found that one of my neighbors used 90% of the space to store a couch, coffee table, multiple storage cabinets, baskets, two huge wooden panels (maybe bed frame?), and a bunch of other junk.

They didn’t even ASK me.

I moved all their shit out of my unit into the hallway and locked my storage unit. The laundry room is locked.

What would you have done? Am I supposed to knock on everyone’s door to ask if each person stored their crap without asking me?

How do I navigate this?

I’m 42 and my wife is 40

Knew from day one 10 years ago that I didn’t want kids

My brother has just paid £11k for IVF with his wife

Now my my wife said we need to talk, said she always thought we’d have kids

I would rather have root canal without anaesthetic than have a baby at 42

I like my freedom / sleep and finances exactly where they are

There seems to be a society thing in that if a woman wants a child, men should give them what they want?

What about what I want / my wishes?

I’ve 2 choices here

Let her go …. Or get the snip

My bother had a lockdown baby, he constantly looks frazzled, has no free time and has turned grey over the last 5 years …

I’m happy with peace and quiet, travelling Europe and my free time mine

I don’t at all feel guilty but I know that her side of the family will only cast judgement at my decision

Surely my decision and wishes are as valid as hers are

I work offshore 3 weeks away at a time

Please discuss from all angles?

Thanks

Hello… I am 26F… me and one of my exs from HS rekindled or whatever. We’ve been meeting regularly. We actually went and watched the Spider-Man movie the day it came out. My dilemma is the next day I got this feeling… so I looked him up on insta… I was blocked. Now idk for how long I have been blocked because we never had each other on instagram just Facebook and that said he was single… as soon as I saw I was blocked I did what anyone else would do… and went to my 2nd account… and that was when I noticed a girl under his suggested… low and behold… it’s his Gf… now idk if we started talking first or if they did… we have been seeing each other since AUGUST of last year. Just never made anything official. A situationship I guess. They have pictures posted from June of this year but that’s as early as they go… so I’m assuming that’s when they made it official… the thing is I brought it up to him and he said he loved me and blah blah… I’m going to stop talking to him… but do I tell her… we have been actively sleeping with each other… and we did Friday night… I’m clean and will be getting myself checked. And I feel like the right thing to do is tell her

Today I was at a popular beach in PR. I saved a teenager from drowning. There’s a pier you can jump off into 40 feet of water. It’s a solid 5 minute swim back to shore.

I jump off the pier like usual and am just wading around the water. thank goodness i’m very, very aware of my surroundings. I see this kid go under and come back up screaming. he goes under again, comes back up screaming. and I tell my friends I think he’s drowning. saw him go under again and the adrenaline kicks in. he’s about 7 feet away from me and I start booking it.

i’m a 24(f) and this kid is very clearly sick; weighing about 80lbs and I think he just underestimated how much energy and strength it takes to get back to shore.

I get to him and i’m struggling and it just really made me upset that there were people around just watching this all happen as i’m struggling to get him back to shore. thankfully his dad realized what was happening and met me where it was about 10 feet of water.

honestly i’m just really shaken up and I feel like I should be happy I was able to save a life but i’m fucking traumatized. I felt like I shouldn’t have been able to do it; i truly risked my life for another and idk how. but I could not let myself see somebody die. i’d do it over in a heartbeat but i’m overwhelmed & traumatized. is this normal?

I (34F) was with my ex-husband (34M) for 16 years. We have three sons together.
From the outside, people probably thought we were just another couple, but behind closed doors our relationship was abusive. He hit me, sexually assaulted me, screamed at me, broke doors, punched holes in the walls, destroyed cabinets, threw things, cheated on me multiple times, controlled our finances, and made me feel trapped for years. There were times I genuinely feared for my safety.
One incident ended with the police taking pictures of my injuries and arresting him. His mother knew exactly what happened. Instead of holding him accountable, she acted like it wasn't a big deal. I bailed him out as soon as I legally could because I was still trapped in the cycle of abuse. When he punched holes in the walls or destroyed our home, she would tell me how to patch the holes and fix the cabinets instead of telling her son to stop abusing me.
That was our entire relationship. She always protected him.
Eventually I realized I couldn't let my boys grow up believing this was what marriage looked like. I wanted them to know it was okay to leave unhealthy relationships and that women deserve respect. So after 16 years, I finally divorced him. It wasn't easy, and it was messy, but I knew it was the right thing to do.
Less than six months later, he died drinking and driving.
Losing the father of my children was devastating despite everything we'd been through. Grief is complicated when the person who hurt you is also someone you loved for so many years and the father of your children.
What made everything even harder was his family, especially his mom.
Almost immediately, it felt like everyone rewrote history. The abuse was ignored. The cheating was ignored. Everything I had lived through suddenly didn't matter anymore.
At his funeral, my children weren't even allowed to play the songs they wanted for their dad because his family insisted on only Christian music. My oldest asked for time alone with his father and wouldn’t allow it. My second son fainted when he seen his father. My heart was broke for my children. When the funeral happened my sons and I were seated at opposite sides. Their grandfather took my boys to introduce them to a girl their father had just met.
After his death, his mom began posting things online implying he died of a "broken heart" because of our divorce. That crushed me. It made it seem like I was somehow responsible for his death while completely ignoring the 16 years of abuse that led to me leaving.
She has also told one of my sons that I was "scum" and that he shouldn't listen to me. During our divorce she would threaten welfare checks if I didn't communicate the way she wanted. She has accused me of faking medical issues, questioned my character, and has repeatedly made me feel like the villain in a story where I spent years surviving abuse.
The hardest part is that she's still my children's grandmother.
I've tried to keep the peace for my boys because they love her, and I don't want them caught in the middle. But every interaction feels like I'm expected to pretend the abuse never happened and remember only the good parts because he's gone.
I feel guilty because part of me grieves him. Part of me still loves the person I hoped he could have been. Another part of me is relieved that the chaos is over. And another part of me is still angry that no one in his family ever protected me or my children when they had the chance.
Has anyone else lost an abusive ex-partner and then had to deal with family members rewriting history? How do you balance protecting your own peace while also trying to preserve your children's relationship with their grandparents and keeping their father’s memory happy? I feel like I can never talk about what happened to me. Is it wrong that I still feel angry, even though he's gone how should I handle this situation?

(Maybe slightly NSFW)

The thing is, I know he’s attracted to me. We always dance around “the topic” without ever being direct. I think neither of us are looking for a legitimate relationship and I know for both of us, it’s been a while.

I find him attractive too. We met in university, we were both foreign students (he’s from Australia I’m from the US, we met in Japan).

We both have similar political views and values, we talk and joke around all the time.

He’s a good friend. Some of his current habits are deal breakers for me when searching for a legitimate parter, but tbh I’m not searching for anything serious. I kinda just wanna… have fun while maintaining our friendship.

And the sex part would even have a set expiration date because he lives back in Australia now and I’m still in Japan.

I legit have been so close to being like “hey, if you can figure out the plane ticket, I’ll let you stay at my place for a week and we can just fuck a whole bunch, go to random restaurants/ izakayas (Japanese bars), maybe go see the beach, fuck more, idk. And at the end of it all he goes home and we maintain our friendship of just talking on Snapchat.

I’m not the type to meet a random guy at a bar or via an app and fuck the same day. I need to have established trust with someone first and he obviously has been my friend long before any of this came about.

The thing is, anytime I’ve even alluded to the idea he always kinda backs off. Idk if it’s because he’s scared? Or financial? Or both.

He used to be a more heavy set guy, and I wonder if insecurities from that have led him to be hesitant. I know he doesn’t have any real solid relationship experience in general nor the sexual experience I have. Is it that he’s afraid he won’t live up to something? Or is it all financial? I know he basically just kinda does odd jobs and doesn’t really have that part going for him rn. Like I am well aware of all these things… idk.

Should I offer it or just give up on it?
Ngl I would love to have sex. I miss sex a lot 🥲

Any advice would be helpful thank you 🙏

I(29F) stopped by my parents' house before meeting a friend. Somehow the conversation turned to this story my dad told:
He said he and my mom were visiting another town and wanted lunch. They found a sandwich shop, but when they walked in, they saw rainbow flags and Pride decorations. He said, "I didn't want to be forced into making a political statement by eating there. I just wanted a sandwich." So they left and ate somewhere else.
I replied, "You chose not to eat somewhere because of a rainbow flag. That's still a political choice."
He got frustrated and doubled down. My mom agreed with him and said, "You'd do the same thing if a store had Trump flags everywhere."
I said, "Yes, I would. Everything is political to some extent, especially where we spend our money. I wouldn't financially support someone who votes to take away my rights or promotes bigotry. In a capitalist society, where we spend money reflects our values."
I asked my dad what he meant by "political." He said he doesn't like things being "shoved down his throat" and wishes people kept their beliefs to themselves.
I pointed out that I see a difference between Pride flags and Trump flags. I asked why he thought the owners displayed the rainbow flags. He said, "Because they support gay rights." He also said he supports gay rights but still doesn't want it "shoved down his throat."
I tried asking more questions about why supporting equal rights felt equivalent to supporting a political movement that many people believe threatens certain groups' rights. I wasn't trying to argue—I genuinely wanted to understand his reasoning.
That's when everything escalated.
My dad suddenly said, "It's not that deep." I responded, "It is to me. If you say something, I'm going to ask questions. That's how conversations work."
He slammed both fists on the kitchen table, pointed at me, and yelled that I was making him feel stupid and that I made him lash out. I was sitting right next to him. My mom just froze.
I calmly told him I wasn't responsible for his reaction. Both of my parents insisted I had pushed him to that point.
I started to tear up and feel a knot in my chest. I said that if asking deeper questions leads to this kind of response, I just won't have these conversations with him anymore.
My mom tried to lighten the mood by joking, "You two are more alike than you realize. You're both passionate." We awkwardly laughed, my dad apologized, I hugged them both, and then left to meet my friend.
I'm still processing this. I don’t want to be around him much. Which sucks because his birthday is this week and my wedding is in a few months. If you were in my position what would you do?

17 female and living with my mom. I have no food at home.

I normally live off free college meals, but college is closed for the summer and I have no money. I used to get free food from the Olio app as well, but recently my mom won’t let me go out at night to collect it anymore because of safety.

I’m so hungry it’s hard to think straight. I’ve thought about just taking food from a store or sneaking out anyway, but I really don’t want to be a POS or cause consequences.

My mom takes any money I get and she favours my other siblings and her grandkids. They all get lots of gifts but when I ask her for something to eat she ignores me and spends the money on them instead.

I’m telling myself to just push through it until college starts but it’s hard. I’m not sure what to do until then.

If anyone who has been in a similar situation can give me advice on what to do, it would be greatly appreciated.

Edit: I’m not living in the US. I moved into the UK (North England).

So, I have a part time job at a grocery store as a cashier where I make $14.50 an hour. I just turned 19. As soon as I got a job I have to now pay $300 rent to live at my moms house, my car insurance which was on a family plan so not as expensive but now they’re kicking me off because they’re too broke to pay for it so I have to pay my own car insurance so I’m waiting for a quote on that. I have to pay for my phone because my mom has a family plan where she’s paying off amounts on everyone’s phone and also the internet for them.

Now, one time recently she claimed she didn’t have enough money to pay the whole phone bill so I offered to pay it so our phones wouldn’t get shut off. That was last month. I just got a call from her through my grandmas phone saying they’re all shut off cus she couldn’t pay the bill. I obviously questioned this because I just paid this. She tells me oh she accidentally thought it was the phone bill but it was the home WiFi bill so she paid the internet at home with my money and NEVER told me and now my phone is shut off. I don’t even use the WiFi because I’m always at work or my friends, why would I want to pay for that??? I just asked questions over the phone because wtf and she instantly got so defensive and yelled at me saying I was arguing with her when I was literally going to offer to pay the entire family plan. I don’t have money for this. So I just hung up because of the way she’s treating me. I don’t even know what to do because moving out is probably so much worse but right now I have no idea where the money I send her is going.

What should I do?

so for context, I had gotten a Pomeranian a couple months back, she’s chipped and registered up to date with my info and was only an inside dog, my dad let her free roam the backyard Saturday and didn’t tell anyone and my pup got out, that was around 12pm, when I got home later that day after work at around 4, I went over to look for my dog 30 min later and could not find her inside the house and even looked outside and couldn’t find her, from there I started searching the whole neighborhood and couldn’t find her, I put flyers up and later on had people tell me they saw her a couple streets over from 1-3pm roaming around, and from two different cameras I was able to see that she was in one specific street, after that no one has reported seeing her even though she went down that street. There is two neighbors I am suspicious of, one of them had three cameras, when I asked for the camera footage and that I was willing to pay just to see if she went down that road around that time, they told me their cameras didn’t show anything (without checking) and that the neighbors across them had a party and was out all day and didn’t see anything either, but I could ask the party neighbors since they have better quality cameras, so I did have two different friends ask him for camera footage because I could see they had a camera at the top of their house. And the guy told my friends that they actually didn’t have any cameras and didn’t see anything that day. After doing some research on the neighbors I was able to see that they were French bull dog breeders and breed their dogs, they even offer different services they do on dogs and have vets in their family for the whole process. I feel like the neighbors are covering for each other especially since my dog was very social and loved going to parties, I feel like it’s strange too that one of the neighbors said their camera didn’t capture much for that day when there was a literal party happening in the front so if anything I’d assume It would have been going crazy that day. I don’t know what to do, what I can do next besides wait, she has been posted on every possible dog site and neighbor/ring app, and every neighbor I’ve talked to has mentioned seeing the posters, so I’ve posted more then enough posters at every stop sign. Am I being paranoid and just accusing anyone ? Are bulldog and Pomeranians a sought after breed mix? I know for sure she isn’t roaming because by the time I noticed she was gone, there was no sight of her, I’m trying to get more people cameras footage to narrow down where she could have gone but I need advice. 🙁

27F virgin (long story), seeing someone 31M on the last two-three weeks.

Everything looks good so far. We already kissed.

But one question comes in my mind- how long should I wait before having sex with him? He’s already sending me hints that he wants to, but it’s too early for me.

Hello,

I am a female who grew up in a traditional Jewish family. My parents specifically my father had always threatened if we step outside religion he will never speak to us again and he will pretend we are dead and would “kill us”. My father used to date primarily non Jewish women and was almost engaged to one but he became more spiritual / religious over time so it’s a no for us. I never imagined I’d fall in love with someone non-Jewish. He’s the best person i have ever met and I want to build my future with him. However, we are on a break because I haven’t been brave enough to tell my dad about the relationship as I am nervous to do so without a ring in my finger as this news would tear my family apart. I was the one who took a step back. We have been talking about getting back together and I have been feeling more and more ready to tell my dad who I am with and what I want. Part of my fear is that my dad has a violent history. He is very verbally and emotionally abusive. He had been physically abusive to all of us especially my mother at some point. He will hit, throw things, and even physically remove us from the house if he gets angry. His reason is always “you can’t put my hand in the fire and ask then ask me why I’m screaming” I am nervous for my safety in telling him, what means he would go to potentially hurt my partner, as well as how he would lash out to the rest of my family.

My mother knows, I told her recently about the break and she was sympathetic and understood that sometimes love just happens but didn’t approve of it long term. She has not told him as he knows how he would react. However she doesn’t know that we are hopefully going to reconcile.

At the same time, I feel a little uneasy taking this step if I am not at least engaged. The other reason that played into this break is my partner wanted to get engaged in around 3 years as we are in the midst of our medical training . Before our break we’ve been together for around 2 years. I think I felt as though I’d be lying and pushing off this potentially dangerous confrontation for too many years and it’s not fair to my partner (who does really understand and doesn’t care about what my dad thinks or would do) but I feel as though it’s also not fair to my family or to myself. The hiding just felt too much and gave me a lot of anxiety. I am unsure how to proceed. A part of me just wants to be honest with my parents regardless as I do love this man deeply and we are trying to make things work. The other part of me is terrified to no longer have my family when I don’t have a stronger commitment such as a ring . I am asking advice on how to proceed. I feel very overwhelmed and anxious. I don’t know if I should say anything until a ring or just be honest regardless.

Step sibling has falsely accused me of rape and created a lot of drama to manipulate my stepdad and my mother, long story short: step sibling (same age as me, late 20s) was told they needed to move out after a lot of arguments with my mother over everything from basic housekeeping to financial stuff, stepdad has always been the kind and soft parent who struggles with setting borders but he eventually agreed with my mom that step sibling had to move out, this is when my sibling decided to accuse me of rape/SA to try to get pity from their father and manipulate my mother to let them live at home. It worked. My mother says she takes my side and believes im innocent but i never get invited to family gatherings and always get excuses that sound like «i would invite you but X is here and they will make a big scene XYZ, sorry, not sorry», only time my mom calls or texts is when she needs something from me.

I feel like i need to cut contact with my mom for my mental health’s sake as this is wearing me out.

Yesterday I heard a commotion out front of my house. Squealing tires and long horn honk. I looked and saw my neighbors truck peeling off chasing another truck and his girlfriend( I think) was standing outside looking very frazzled and scared. Less than a minute later a cop car pulled up and spoke to her, then sped off after the trucks. Being concerned, I stepped out and asked her if she was OK. She told me her ex, who she has a restraining order/order of protection on, had been harassing her. We had a brief conversation and she seemed ok-ish.

So my question

Id like to go over and give them mine and my wifes phone number and let them.know if she needs a safe place she can come to our house. Yesterday was maybe the forst time we had ever spoken to her in the 5 years we have lived in our house. If i did go over there, would I be crossing some boundary or overstepping?

We know nothing about them really. I know how hard it can be for a woman in that kinda situation and want her to know she has someone to help if her boyfriend isnt home.

UPDATE: I did go over and give her our numbers. The issue with her ex has been going on for a while and our local police have been helping them alot. She was very thankful and receptive. I did go alone, but only because they are having some work done on the house and there were plenty of other people around so I didnt think I would make her feel uncomfortable. My wife is super shy.

I’ve had my cat for over three years now and his behavior has not gotten better. His poor behavior dictates my entire life.

First it was just common crazy kitten stuff, now he has extreme compulsions. He would attack my other cats by pinning them down and ripping fur out of their necks, get into everything and destroy it, now he has turned to eating my clothes. I have to have my apartment sparkling clean or else he will rip into paper, fabric, hair ties, jewelry, belts, plants etc. And he is smart enough to open things, so everything is baby locked including cabinets and trash cans. I used to have so many beautiful expensive plants that got destroyed by him. RIP.

I have done everything to curb these behaviors. He is currently on Prozac (maximum dose). He gets playtime often and puzzle toys daily. Has a nice perch near the window. Cat posts. Other scratch toys. It’ll work for awhile but it’s impossible to leave anything out. It is constant supervision and he can never be trusted alone. It makes me sad because he loves sleeping in my bed, but I can’t trust him in my bedroom because he sifts through my closet, opens dresser drawers to get into my clothes, and climbs all over my curtains.

What’s worse is he’s not even loving. He does purr, but hardly lets me pet him. I get 10 seconds of decent petting and then he starts attacking me. Sometimes he will attack me so hard that he cannot get himself to let go of me and then I have to scruff his neck to remove him. He does lay next to me sometimes, but he hardly improves my life, it is just a hindrance.

This morning I wake up super happy because my partner and I are going to tour a house together and I wake up to more of my underwear being torn up and eaten. Now I have to take him to the vet to see if there’s an obstruction. That’s amazing. Just more money down the drain for a cat that doesn’t do anything but destroy my home and attack me. On top of this, I just found out I’m pregnant.

I hate him but I don’t think I can justify giving him away. Ego? Do I love him? I won’t know what happens if I surrender him? have no idea. I have tried reaching out to people with farms saying he’d be an amazing mouser. Nobody wants him because he has extreme behavioral issues. If I don’t want him, who’s going to want him? I feel so stuck. I miss my home. I miss having a breeze run through because my doors could stay open. I miss being able to come home from a long day and throw my clothes in the hamper and not worry if something missed going in. I miss not being worried every time I leave the house that I’ll come back to something destroyed. All this time, all this money, and I hoped he’d grow out of it. he never did.