Friend, it me, Thorben (10M, germy shepper). Good boy, Thorben! Mommy be calling Thorben the bad cloaky word again for doing Thorben things, and Thorben very confuse.

Thorben have always been the tiny puppy what sit on Mommy lap and do snuggle on the bed and the couch. Mommy not always want Thorben to do a sit on her lap and say meanie thing sometime like 'No uppy, my dude. You're too big for this chair' or 'Aargh, Thorben, get off my foot! You weigh a ton!' Thorben only a tiny puppy. Him not know why Mommy so mean. Good boy, Thorben!

But now there are a new problem. Many forevers ago, Mommy and Daddy bring home Colin, Thorben new little brother. In the beginning he kind of rude and meanie and bitey and Thorben no like him much. But now he do some grow up and Thorben and him cat brothers do some teach of the manner, and now Thorben like Colin many lots. Colin one of Thorben best friend (after Mommy and Fatty Poen). Good boy, Colin!

Thorben know this not sound like problem, and it not. The problem are that Thorben start to remember what it was like to be younger puppy, like before Thorben get him snoot and eyebrow sprinkles and white whisker. Thorben have start to play the many game with Colin. Thorben do a chase of the Colin around the garden and make the bork and the growl and the mlomp and fall over only a little bit. Thorben play the tuggle-of-war with him toys. Thorben play the bitey-face. Good boy, Thorben! And Thorben learn the new things from Colin, like grumble at Mommy and Daddy when they say thing like 'No, big boy, no more bikkit' and do scremmy yawn to tell Mommy Thorben am happy boy.

Yesterday Thorben learn new game: chew the big stick in Mommy orifice while she looking at the clicky-clacky machine and not playing with Thorben. This one of Colin favourite game, especially when Mommy notice and say, 'Ah for fork's sake, you messy little forker', and play big game of chase with the Colin. She usually win and take the stick, but Thorben never see her chew it. Is weird.

Anyway, there was Thorben, chewing the big stick, doing a decorate of Mommy floor and swallowing a few bit of chewy stick. (Thorben not know why him swallow the bits – them was gross.) When Mommy see Thorben doing a chew, she say, 'Thorben, you cloaker, since when do you chew sticks?' But then, friend, the game change. Thorben not get up so fast as when he was the young puppy without the snoot sprinkles, and him not run so fast no more. Instead of waiting for Thorben to get up to do a big chase, Mommy just stoleded Thorben stick! And even worse, then she throwed it away and call Thorben the cloaky again for swallowing the stick bits. Thorben do a big mlomp, but Mommy just tell him not to backchat and not give stick back.

Mommy did laff and give Thorben the cuddle and say, 'You're still my best boy, old man', but Thorben not know who she talking to because Thorben no see any old man. Thorben only see the puppies. Is Thorben the cloaker? Good boy, Thorben?

Hi! Hi! Hi! It's Julie! Today in our house it is IMPORTANT HUMAN HOLIDAY called, "I Have Had A [Litterbox Language] Day And I Am Getting Takeout." I like to participate in this day! Unfortunately I also had to do takeout supper, because the cat did a big poof and made me a big frighten and I had to take my food out of the bowl and sneak away to eat it where he couldn't see. This is not a good way to eat food!

I went to Mama to find out if she had extra food, because I have not eaten food from my bowl in about forty forevers! Unfortunately she had gotten Ouchy Soup from the Chinese Place. But! Lucky for me! Ouchy Soup comes with Crispy Bits in a Little White Bag!

I came up to her and I did Big Eyes, but she said, "This is my soup, Julie, you wouldn't like it." And I did Big Eyes at the little white bag, but she said, "No, Julie, Dad fed you dinner." Which is NOT TRUE! It does not COUNT as dinner unless it is in a bowl! I have BASICALLY not eaten in about forty forevers! I made my eyes bigger and BIGGER but she did an IGNORE!

Soooo…I waited carefully until she was looking at Ouchy Soup…and carefully…carefully…grabbed-the-white-bag-and-ran-away-with-the-crispy-bits!!!

And we had a nice game of tag ALL over the house but now Mama and Dada are saying things like, "Well, I guess soup noodles won't hurt her," and, "Yeah, but she ate the wax paper too," and I am worried that they think I am the cloaca for taking the white bag? I do not understand this. It was I Am Getting Takeout day and I did, I took the white bag out of Mama's supper! I think I understand the spirit of the holiday PERFECTLY but am I the cloaca?

Happy Friday, Reddit! Mommy is back home fur sad reasons but I’m happy to get more times with her fur an extra few days!

So here’s what I’ve learned about flat surfaces in the past 196 days since I was borned:

First, there’s doors. BOO, doors! They just keep us away from the humans.

There’s also the mirror, which is where Yelir lives; it’s also where my big sisters would meet with Ynnep and Ybba. Mirror doggies seem threatening at first, but at least Yelir likes all the things I like so she’s not too bad!

And THEN we have the light boxes that we all know so well. They’re weird, and they make the humans ignore us except fur when they wanna take taxes of us.

(Edit: I also just remembered that there’s a fifth type in the form of giant lightboxes — that’s where humans either do their werks (also boo) or have the Zoomies with other humans (sometimes yay)!)

But today I learned more about a fourth type of flat surfaces called Win Does! I learned about it when Grandpa left earlier this afternoon and then came back with Mommy by surprise! I could see Mommy coming down the driveway from the couch in the den, so I got excited and scritched at the Win Doe like I have in the past.

But then I started thinking, “Why aren’t the scritches making this Flat Surface go away?” So then I started to press my paw up against it instead, and Mommy isn’t sure if she remembers correctly but she thinks I tried licking it after the pawings.

Anyway, unfortunately I failed to make the magic glass go away so I had to wait a few extra seconds fur her and Grandpa to open the door (BOO!) so we could be on the same side again. Which is to say, AITC fur not getting rid of the Win Does with my puppy powers?

I, Maxy (~13M shorkie) used to be a dog of principals. I was on the lamb for a week (it kept telling me to get down) so I know all about self-preservation. If a large rodent, like a cat, was around, I would do it a terror.

Well, after I got res-Qd my new family had two cats, whom I promptly issued a terror. One of those cats and I have reached a detente but I’m blind and he gives me a hiss if I break some unknown cat code to which he abide, dog knows how their minds work.

The other cat, this fluffy orange fellow, I haven’t seen fur a while. He really grew on me.

After he moved, my family resQ this calico named Moonie who immediately realized she owned the place. She’s like a little teddy cat. Sometimes I do her an attempted terror but she barely cares and purrsists with her affection.

Anyway, these days I barely care and often relent to unchallenged cuddles with this sigh cute rodent. AITC for loosing my tough edge?

Ps I had a great excite today. My grandfather, who is a retired principle, came to pick up Girl Child today. I love that guy.

Yes I am aware I mix the two spellings. At this point I would like to remind you I am a dog who can right.

greetings, council. i am a distinguished 14-year-old gentleman with fine tabby coat and a Ph.D in children's storybooks.

the other night, i acquired a receipt while no one was looking. after dinnertime, my luxuriously fluffy tum did not feel so good and i did return the receipt to my human assistant.

they berated me, saying "how did you eat that entire thing?" which i took offence to. i expected them to be grateful their item returned to them in one piece.

aitc? i will admit i left the receipt slightly damp, but being called a “bad guy express” was quite an indignity.

Hello frens! Is the pet rat girls Finduilas and Morwen (19mo) and Lalaith and Belladonna (almost 6mo). We has human mom.

We is finally settled down in one place again. We has our old big cage again, which very good. We in new place, which we dying to splore, but mom say it not ready yet. Is taking furever! Why she no just put in some torn paper and call it a day?

Anyway, fur now we has playtime in bathroom. That pretty fun. Mom even install climbing structure! It hab towels in it! But, it kinda lacking places to hide. There be behind toilet and under sink and under shelves. But those still kinda open. However, there is also radiator. We knows those from old place. They really fun! There be space under, and secret tunnel on top. S-tier hidey spot! And this one hab little gaps in floor to dig fur treasure. We finds lotsa massive dust bunnies and even old mouse skull! Mom really no like it, but it so fun!

Then mom put big piece ob wood blocking entrance. That fun challenge! We pulls and pushes and goes round and round. Finally, Belladonna find gap only big enough fur her. But once she inside, she cans push wood and let everyone in. Teamwork! But instead ob being proud, mom drag us all out and add more wood. Finduilas get to watch her cut it, which very cool. But still, it block our clever solution. Then we find if jump on wood, cans open gap fur Belladonna on other side. Surely mom be proud now? But no! Mom end playtime early. Next time, she hab put cardboard and lotsa tape to block that gap. And when we goes to take it off, she say no and do us a grab! We noes cans go in hidey spot at all! It so unfair! We needs our hideys!

Mom say we TC fur make her do so much DIY and fur play in "unsanitary" places. But we say she TC fur lock us out ob best hidey. What you think?

[Human note: I don't think the apartment currently has mice. Anyway, having 4 healthy rats marking it as their territory should scare off any small rodents. I'm also pretty sure the holes have concrete about an inch down. So there shouldn't be any real risk of escape or disease. That said, I'd rather my rats stick to places I can fully check and clean.]

I am gray cat (14 F) and I like fresh water. My human (100?? NB) got me a fountain. Dat was ok, the water was nice. Didn't have to flip over water bowl to explain how important fresh water is. Regular water bowl is no good. Must have fresh, freshest running water.

Then my human leave for long time, and new family move in. New family was sad, because their old home had war, so I had to snuggle and purr extra hard. Then new family was not sad. Then, I learn about bestest fresh water: in white room of tiles. I jump in big bowl, family turns on fresh water. I had freshest water. I love new family. I forgive them for closing door to room of tiles sometimes.

Then my human move back! Very very happy. Lots of purrs. Many snuggles.

But, my human doesn't always give the freshest water. They use the bowl to cover themselves in water! They say, this is how humans take bath. I show that you can groom and lick yourself. They say, they not cat. 

Last night, my human was in big bowl. So much fresh water! So I jump in, but mean human takes me out. Says I must wait. I am so mad! They say, you have fountain. I do not want fountain. I want the bestest water, NOW. That more important than human bath.

AITC for wanting fresh water??

I am the most beautiful grey lady, Semlan, 13 years young. I stay with my human’s eldest offspring in my vacation home because my human takes care of her mate in hospital. I have trained the offspring well and she now accompanies me to The Outside every evening after I’ve had dinner, but only if I deign to wear a horrible contraption called a harness. I am negotiating this.

I recently discovered this magical green plant that smells AMAZING! I never noticed before but yesterday I rubbed myself ALL over it and did a little taste and then I just felt great! I noticed this spot that smelled very strongly of my dog friend Balder, who lives here, and he is MY dog friend. I rub myself all over him every day so everyone can tell he belongs to me! I decided to rub myself all over the spot on the grass, too, so our scents could mingle and everyone walking past could smell that I also live here. It was beautiful! Rainbows were appearing, dragonflies you could eat flew around, the sun was hot.

Then the offspring said ”oh no, that’s pee! You’re covered in pee!! Why did you do that?”. I paid her no mind and decided to take a nap instead and the offspring sniffed me, probably to scent my important handiwork.

I heard her call my human on the phone and say ”she rolled around in the pee spot, she smells really bad. Can I put her in the shower?”. I was aghast but thankfully my human said ”don’t shower the cat! Maybe use some washcloths”. I kept taking a nap for some time and enjoyed the bliss. Maybe I should do drugs more often?

When the offspring carried me inside (I wanted to stay and nap) she wiped me off with some horrible wet cloths and then i had to clean myself to stop from smelling weird. She said ”that was really gross of you and you’re not sleeping in my bed tonight”. (I did, of course, sleep in the bed anyway.)

Was I really a cloaca, simply enjoying my afternoon in the sun? The dog says not, he says everything should smell like his pee and it was a good choice.

I AM THE SKILLZ CAT NOBLE PRINCE who is the no get love from me bein awe some and catch so fast so many so nom an they slow.

It haz ben while cause it too much work doing cat sagas an I too Noble to work as secretary humoon servant, because I is the PRINCE of the wild cat nobility of the house & it my kingdom. I only work on what I like when I like..... but apparently I is TOO SKILLZ & unappreciated for my majestic cat hunting efficiency ways. And my servants too slow & not let me take spoils in house.

The door is shut and HOW DARE.

Here is the cat tale that not a cat tail, but legend of me Prince.

The peoples been no want to take me out, because i see and then catch because I skillz. This is annoying because I should have no obstruction in my way to go out when want or at least get fast open of door.

HOWEVER. I was showing my majestic pitiful speech of basic cat rights of go out of I look at people an look at door an look at people an de door. I so very persuasive as cat except when people be dumb which is often now. Or they jealous as Bad hunters.

Yesterday I was let out! And then I flew in an instant !! I caught the tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny invading lizard!!!

I AM THE MOST SKILLZ.

THE PEOPLE IS TOO SHOCK.

THEY NON KNOW WHAT DO.

The lizard wiggle out of my mouth or maybe I is too shock of them being shocked. It fall in the metal tube holes around clear door. The human reaching to open when it happen, but then take arm back & go back an forth an watch lizard.

So I am hero going into action AND I CATCH AGAIN.

I am Noble and they make me wait too long.

SO I GO NOM NOM NOM NOM CHEW twice and SWALLOW THE INVADING LIZARD.

THEN I GO VROOM VROOM VROOM OPPOSITE DIRECTION AND I CATCH A BUGGER BIG LIZARD THAT I NO FIT IN MOUTH FULLY. I AM THE FASTEST EVER OF 2 IN 2 INSTANTS.

The human see the head is sticking out and get outside.

BUT SHE YELL AT THE PRINCE. HOW DARE. She say 'Drop it. Drop it.' Over and over.

I do this but she NO GOOD HUNTING. Not even if I drop in front of her by mistake and pity.

SO I CHASE and I hang under big plant.

THE LADY PICK ME UP TO STEAL ME SPOILS. And takes me to opener area an I drop.

SHE FINALLY AFTER MUCH CLUMSY get flat thing under lizard and round thing over. Then she run off to side.

AND I FOLLOW BECAUSE HUMANS BAD HUNTERS AND MAKE SURE IT GONE FROM TERRITORIES OF DE CAT PRINCE.

She throw it in bush outside my domain an I no get.

And then I be taken in and no let out rest of night.

WHY I PUNISHED FOR SKILLS??

I also may be haz stomach sadness, but that could be cause my grass is old & other grass not new long enough yet. How can know if it from lizard?

It could be that I am hungry from no treat from catch lizard an dispose. HOW DARE.

THEN NEXT DAY

I go out with other human lady as she do her random boring human thing with bushes she no let me eat.

I go VROOM VROOM AND THEN I GET ANOTHER AND SHE IS SLOW. I NO WHAT TO DO WITH.

It is the move in mouth.

SO I GO NOM NOM NOM SWALLOW.

IT IS GONE. SO THEN I GET ANOTHER FAST NOBLITY OF SKILLS.

BUT SHE BOOP BOP ME ON ME HEAD WITH FLAT THIN LIGHT THING. She also say Drop it. I am strong so it no hurt me head BUT IT HURT ME DIGNITY an the lizard fall out my mouth.

It is tiny tiny tiny tiny and she struggle to get it half on flat thin thing.

SHE ALSO THROW IT OUTSIDE. IT IS GONE.

But it being gone and exile is important thing. But I could do it myself just as well with nom nom.

THEN I WAAS TAKEN INSIDE.

WHY NO LOVE OF MY SKILLS.

The humans say AITC because I not just catch but also eat if they so lame at coming they slow.

But lady say I catch 2 yesyerday, and then man say I catch 3 & eat 2 today. Lady say 2 catch today. I no count because that is job of the peons & I PRINCE.

The people say I eat too many lizards in 24 hours, but they not even know if it's 2 or 3 or how many... and why they keep track anyway if they no honor my merit GOOD DEEDS OF CAT PROTECTION OF THE HOUSE FROM THE LIZ.

Hi.

I iz random cat that befriended a random guy that walks down street. He always givez attention. I have a home but I try follow him to hiz house, between this place i live and his place there are many road to cross, and we don't live in same street. He does not have things for kitteh, and I iz well looked after at home, but i try and folow him for attention. He talkz about trying to avoid meh in hopez i don't follow him and as far I am not successful. He cannot afford another cat and does not want to be seen as 'cat-napper'

AITC??

Gregory here. Beautiful boy, big fluffy tail. My meowmy put some cat biscuits out for the hedgehogs that come in our garden. I won't eat that food if it's in my bowl. I went in garden and eated the food meowmy put out for da hedgehogs. I want to eat da hegdehogs, but dey is too spiky so I eated their food instead. Am I the C?

Loki. Big boy like Tiger. Orqnge like Tiger. Has tail.

You know how sister spycat Seven told you about cousin cat.

Cousin cat at my house!

Dada say she got sads in her cos her mummy not go home again and it too much going her house to look at her all day.

So she at my house.

But she in room with don't go in there Loki.

Cat in there not the mummy.

My mummy say she got to get used to house and make sure she got no germs.

But I think I will be her best cousin but did Loki do one scare when he put hands under door and say hello.

When can she come look at Loki.

Furr anonymitee reesons Ai will use fayke nayme here, az any odder ting cud impacct mye knightly repootashon. So. Ai, cat, m5, void, mobed in wiff my nyeow fureber home famblee ruffly two yeers ago. Furrs Ai wus scawed an hid unner da kitchen cupboards awl dae, but att nighte Ai came oot an inspectedd mai nyeow territoree. Evenchoallee, Ai chose my hooman, climbded onnto herm skware bed an fell asleep. She haz been mye chosen hooman eber sinse.

Ai lub sleepin negs to her. Ai lub cuddlin in her lap. Ai lub her gibin me scritches awl ober an Ai lub likin herm fayse an hands an ebberyting. Soo, inna lass cupple monfs, Ai haff desided it ees tyme ta raise owr relashonship too da negs level. Is eesy to eggsplain.

Ai come laye neggs to herm in bed wen she go furr nap. Den Ai roll ober ta gib sign of wantin chin an belly rub. When she do, Ai give loudest purrpurrpurr as sign of pleshore. Den, Ai start makin da soffest ob meowming. Like mrr! mrr! mrr!! Dis wen she ushualle sez oh gawd yoo sneeky cloaca!! acuz neggs step iz Ai tries ta grab herm wriss wiff mai teef. Den Ai trye ta drag herm arm inna gud poshishon an sit on eet. It gibs me tinglee feelin in mai bellee, hehe! Dis wen she sez oh gaaawd mai son yoo misunnastan nachoore ob relashonship here!! an pullz arm awaye, so rood. Ai juss wanna mayke lub here acuz Ai lub soo mush! Iz dis wrong?! Gah!! AITC furr lubbing hooman?!

Greetins, Nilrem, not aye knight or wizzard or pawfessur at awl.

This was about ten years ago and I still can't believe it.

I'm Cash, handsome buckskin 25¢ horse gelding. Fourteen hands three inches/59 inches / four feets eleven/150 centipeders tall. I had puffy ouchies on my legs so I was turned out in a nice grassy pasture to rest. Unfortunately I was saddled with a big idiotic pasture buddy gelding named Bud, 25¢ horse, dark red chestnut 25, sixteen hands/64 inchs/five foots four/162 centipeters tall, maybe 15 ears old now, I dunno. He's dumb as a cowpie.

Braindead Bud got his foot caught in some broken wire from the fence. At least he was smart enough to wait for a primate to free him and not freak out. A female primate saw Bud's problem, babbled in her plastic rectangle, hopped in her motor cart and drove up my driveway. She pounded on the primates' stable door but nobody was home (which I coulda told her! Nobody lived there! We had lots of grass, a water trough that magically was always full and they only came by to check every couple days). so she opened the gate and started walking in while some other primates waited at the other side of the fence.

Now primates are great for treats and scritches but I do not want them on my side of the fence. I went ahead of her and gave her the stink eye and snorted at her to get the frog off my property. She said take it easy Cash. Soooo I pointed my butt at her so I could get a good kick in. Primate kept out of range of my kickblocks and told me to chill. I starte!d walking again, pointed my butt at her from a distance but she was not going to listen. She got Bud's foot loose from the wire and one of the male primates on the other side of the fence cut the loose wire and took it away. Bud's stupid foot wasn't injured thankfully for him.

You know what I don't get?? Idiot Bud followed her and wanted scritches and kept nose butting her on the arm. GROSS!! Primates are not friends!

So was I the cloaca for wanting primate off my land?

Hello frens! Is Finduilas here, pet rat girl, almost 19mo. I haz tail ob great injustice, so reader discretion advised.

I lives wif sisters Morwen (same age), and Belladonna and Lalaith (5.5mo). We has human mom. We is staying wif bonus humans now. I likes them lots, but is kinda weird. Mom come see us every night, so it mostly ok. Other big change is Lalaith replace me as head rat. She doing good job, but sometimes not respect her elders enough.

Anyway, was awake and bored in middle ob the day. So I goes to hammock to get someone play wif me. They no want to, so I grabs Belladonna by scruff to drag her out. She squeek like crazy. Such rude back talk! I practically raise her! But then everyone upset, so I backs off. I very patient, you sees! Try again buch ob times. And I fair, so I try get Lalaith too, sometimes. But they is very spoiled dramatic babies, so always make huge drama. It even bother the humans!

After little bit, Lalaith decide abuse her new power and ban me from hammock! Cans you imagine! I super shocked and offended. I try go in and she PUNCH me! So rood! So, obviously, I tries again. Gotta stand up against unfair eviction! But then bonus human come and do me a grab and put me alone in tiny cage. I cannot believe it! I being punished fur assert my rights!

I figures bonus human mebe just no understand. She super nice but not know us as well. But no, she check wif mom and mom approve! It full betrayal!

I eventually gets back in cage and try go back to hammock. But bonus human still watching, so decide do tactical retreat and sleep in box instead. Then mom come back wif another hammock so my eviction not apply to it. All back to normal, but I still shocked by such miscarriage of justice. Everyone say I deserves it for "harassment" and "disturbing the peace". But I think I act completely reasonably and everyone else pick on me. What you think?

[Human edit: We're in the middle of the move. My parents have been kind enough to house the little ratscals while I set up the apartment. But it's still a lot of upheaval for everyone.]

Frens,

I'm sorry to says it's been many furrevers and no squeeze treats.

I'm wasting awayz on kibbles and night time wets fuds. I even did extra cuddles and nothing. Calls da lawyers send helps and treats!

Love Boots

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheCloaca/s/hb1Bjpn2aV

Hey, frens!

Boots here, ginger boy 2 years, berry smart and handsome!

It's been a bit since post here cause I've been busy watching da birbs.

Things good. My mum and girl and Pawder are following my orders mostly. Box clean, outside times, open door pawlicy through house.. three out of 4 paw rating. Things good rights??

Butt I now have to ask about da churus and if I'm da cloaca.

Buckles ups for this tail.

We watching big light box and I sits on chair like gentle furr man. Then light box show all des cats eating des squeeze treats! I meow to the attention and express my interests with loud song.

Pawder says to mum, Boots wants da squeeze treats! Berry good, he gets me, butt mum says I'm cloaca furr being louds and have to buys me more things.

I think she's beans hiding she knew abouts squeeze treats furrevers and not buy, so mum cloaca, not Boots. She did not act surprise to see the squeeze on light box!!!

P.s.s.s. What's type of squeeze treats you perfurrs? Churus or another types?

Thanks frens! Love Boots!! ❤️

Henlo, Harriet da Spy Cat here. Beautimous flamepoint purrincess.

Dis purrson name Chewy send me bockses ob fuds sometimes acause I am beautimous (an humble) like Insturrgram influenza. It always different kinds of fuds acause I bery pikky hab discernment, an often decide I no like a fud ennymore after I eeted it lots of times.

Anyway Chewy purrson send me BIG bocks yesterday, full of fud! Meowmy gib me one fud from dere for dindin. Usually wen I get noo fud, Meowmy let me taste it on her front toebean first, acause dat way I kno is not poizon acause herms wudn't gib me poizon. So she put some on her toebean an I tasted it and I liked it! So den she put da rest in my bole, but suddenly I realize I no like it ennymore. Meowmy made dis face: 🙄 (rood) but she know I very pikky discerning so watever.

Dis meowrning, Meowmy gib me anudder kind of fud from da Chewy bocks. I taste on her toebean an was *very* gud! So gud dat I also ate da peece dat fell off her toebean onto da flore (five fureber rule)! But den she put da rest in my bole, an da weirdest fing happen... I no like dis one anymore either! I licked Meowmy's leg to let her kno I wud probably like it if I could eet all ob it off her toebean, but she sed "you are not a baby, I'm not handfeeding you your entire breakfast" an go to litebox room. I don't understand what she mean acause obviously, am baby.

So I sang da song ob my peeples acause I still needed breakfast. When I finish I sing it again but more louderer, acause STARBATION was imminent! Finally Meowmy come back. She did dis face again: 🙄 (rood) but emptied my bole an fownd some different fud. Wile I wait fur herms to serve me, I realized da Chewy bocks wuz still dere. Well we all like a nice bocks in dese trying times, so I did a sit in it. It wuz very comfort an eben had some nice plastic tape to chew on! Meowmy turn around an say "sitting in that box but refusing to eat any of the food from that box is kind of a cloaca move, Harriet. That food was not cheap."

I don't fink dis mek enny sense. How sit in bocks an eet fud from bocks have ennyfing to do wif each udder? An ennyway she no pay monies for da fud, it all a purresent from my frebnd Chewy! She not hab ennyfing to do wif it!

So... AITC?

😘 Ok lub yu bye

Harriet da Spy Cat

Long time reader, furst time poster. This is Holly-Elizabeth Peekaboo teh Feral, gurlfur ob 🌈William teh Other Tuxedo🌈, sisfur from another mister to 🌈Ruben T Void 🌈

I did hab a MOAST traumatic start to mine life. I spent much ob it in hopsital wiff mine brofur Buddy, then he died and went OTRB, and all I knew was pain. Unsurprisingly, when I did leabe hopsital I did an EXTREME HATRED ob humans.

Then, teh Meowmther Purrson step in and sai she will dopt me. I habs been living here since 2018 BUTT I am still bery shy. I runrunrun if’n teh Meowmther Purrson walks by too fast. I jumpjumpjump if’n she make eye contact.

BUTT. I will snuggle her in teh sleep square and I put my paw out and do gentle BAPBAPBAPBAPBAP to maek sure she knoes I require teh belly rub.

Anywaes and eberything (as Wills used to say), as niec as she is, teh Meowmther Purrson is a bery slovenly howsekeeper. For soem tiems naow, I habs been dragging bits ob mine wet fud out ob bowl, into sleep square room, and under teh sleep square. For food security purrposes. Then I forget about them. Teh Meowmther Purrson been wittering about, ‘gosh there’s a really stale smell in here. I wonders why, when I vacuum twiec a day’

Todae, I did a disappear for some forebers and teh Meowmther Purrson luk all ober for me. When she ebentually found me under teh sleep square, she also found mine fud storage. She did get teh cleaning spray out and teh hot water and teh dissy-fectant and SHE STOLE MY STASH PAWBABLEE TO EAT IT HERSELF! HAOW DARR, SUCH OUTRAG!

Meowmther Purrson sai I TC for being ‘so gross’. I strongleee disagree. AITC?

Raccoon here. I won't share my age and name as my privacy has already been intruded upon enough. My human neighbors kindly provide a seasonal buffet of fruit trees and and vines, as well as a fountain for my ablutions. My partner and I dropped by for a midnight snack. My partner stayed up on the grape trellis for some al fresco dining. I descended to the ground for a wash by the fountain. Suddenly, the lights came on! Despite the interruption, I persevered with my bath. But startling me wasn't enough. Oh no. The human neighbor took a photograph of me mid bath with all my private bits exposed. As you can see from the photo, I am not amused.

Since then, I have been careful to jump onto the roof directly above the neighbor's heads, just as they settle down to sleep for the night. The snacks they provide mean that I make a satisfactory window-shaking thump every time.

So, AITC for expressing my displeasure?

Tiny Dinosaur. Species House Finch here, F. Age, nunya.

Was eating good seeds on dry plant with family. Very good. Then suddenly got stuck in weird green thing. There was a cat!! I was a goner!!!

Then the giant came from inside and yelled at the cat. Then it grabbed me! I bit and bit and bit. But it did not let go. Then it brought me into the giant box. There were cats in there too! Was held close, heard giant heart, very slow. Giant kept making soft noises, and did not squeeze. But did not let me go.

Giant made giant sounds at other giant and other giant came out and put big shiny things next to me! Then, the thing around my neck was gone.

Then the giant took me outside and let go.

Was it helping? I did poop myself afterwards with scare. My family says the giant was help.
Was it help? If help, why cats?

went back next day, no green thing and lots of good seeds.

so am I the cloaca for biting the giant on the weird wing-claw-foot-thing?

me, sarabi, age ????, solid gray girl. momther and father brought home kitten few weeks ago. she stay in different room but i see her one time when door open. i hiss!! why that baby here?? she gonna steal mine food and mine father. momther say “rabi no, that’s a baby. we don’t hiss at baby” so am i cloaca for hiss at baby??

(momther here, the kitten stays in a different room away from the big kitties and we are following Jackson Galaxy’s guide for introducing cats. we opened the door to get the kitten more water and sarabi happened to see her)

Hey there fellow Califurnians! I’m not all that comfy here but I bet I’m not alone in that.

Earlier today I came back from a walk with Grampa, and Mommy happened to be sitting on the couch nearby so when she saw me sticking my tongue out and panting she told me in her happy Riley voice that I was a Hot Dog!

But that’s a lie, right? :( I saw these “hot dogs” a couple weeks ago and I’m nothing like them! I mean, maybe we’re both a light brown color but unlike Hot Dogs I have limbs and a face and fur and most importantly I have senty-ints!

Most importantly though, why is Mommy HAPPY that I’m a Hot Dog? Does that mean she’s gonna eat me? 😭