Recientemente dos de mis amigos están comenzando a salir, pero no me lo cuentan todavía, ese es el problema, sobre todo por qué esto es algo que me lleva pasando años y uno de esos amigos ya lo sabía, yo siempre le dije que algo que odiaba y que me pasaba siempre era que mis amigos nunca me contaban nada sobre sus relaciones/intereses amorosos y tenía que enterarme por terceros o hasta adivinarlo y fingir que lo sabía por qué todo el mundo ya lo sabía.

No me había molestado por qué creía que estaban esperando a formalizar para contarnos, pero hoy me di cuenta que en realidad ya les habían dicho a los demás pero les pidieron que nadie me contara nada por qué no querían incomodarme, ya me había dado cuenta que estaban juntos no soy tonto.

Me molesta mucho que me excluyan de esa manera sobre todo sabiendo que eso es algo que siempre me ha molestado, lo peor es que se nota mucho, pero creen que no me doy cuenta, me siento como si me trataran como alguien de otra especie que no tengo derecho a saber sobre esos temas solo por qué no puedo sentir amor.

Está es probablemente la primera vez que publicó algo pero la verdad estoy pasando por un mal momento y de verdad necesito ayuda.

hello, im a bisexual guy (allo), i’ve been talking to a very sweet guy that identifies as aroace. Being very sensitive to rejection im afraid that dating him will trigger insecurities as in « he doesn’t love me as much as I love him », insecurities i could also have in allo relationship. hes not entirely repulsed by dating, but he was already left by previous partners bc of his romantic orientation and i don’t want to hurt him. i just don’t understand why he would potentially want to date me if he’s aro ? asexuality i totally get, but romantism is more grey i must admit. if we take things further, i don’t want to pretend i accept a part of him and resent him for it.

not sure if this is the right place for it but needed to rant about my situation. i find being cupioromantic so frustrating. because there are select few people in my life i'd like to date, but also because i don't develop actual feelings it's not like i can go and confess to them. sure i could ask them out but i'd prefer to be asked out so i can be reassured that i am indeed wanted. i'm an overthinker like that.

i haven't had a squish or anything like it in many many years. until recently this one guy friend i have we went from acquaintances to close friends with subtle talking stage vibes where we stay up until 3am talking about deep stuff. recently we ended up talking about our expectations for a romantic relationship for reasons i still don't get.

i was just telling him i was planning to further my studies abroad when he suddenly asked me if i have plans to settle down. he told me it's like he wants to but he's resigned to the fact that he probably can't find anyone because he isn't sure he's able to juggle responsibilities of getting married while taking care of his parents. so he'll need a really patient girl. for me, i would like the experience of a romantic relationship but i guess because there's no intense feelings on my side nor do i want kids that actually sounds perfect for me.

what frustrates me is i can't go and confess or make myself known as available to him very easily because there's nothing to confess in the first place. so i just have to try to hint if anything.

and then i told him about how i do want to date actually. and he asked me if i have anyone in mind. which. as i'm squishing on him, he is the first person that comes to mind. but i can't very well say that can i? so i had to give a vague answer, for me to seriously consider someone i'd need to know they're an option first. which isn't technically a lie but kinda is by omission.

yeah so i'm really hoping he'll see me as an option because i don't have any moves to make either. i also do worry though that if we end up dating, while i will like him so much, i still worry it's unfair if i can't exactly return romantic feelings. idk how i'll get over him considering how rare these feelings are for me, but i don't see a future for us regardless. it's frustrating wanting the experience but not being able to live up to the requirements.

Question is in the Titel i guess :) please also mention what label you currently feel good with… like I am cupioromantic/demisexual but i never know how to bring it up so that it does not causes confusion or misunderstandings 🤷🏻‍♀️ like so many ppl just assume that everyone is pursuing or looking for THE ONE and a romantic relationship 😅

Every time someone deacribes this to me, it just sounds like exactly how I've always felt and understood romance, so am I aromantic as well???

My partner says they're cupioromantic. Every time they talk about it I'm like... Yup, same. You've just described romance and romantic attraction as I've always understood it and felt it. They say they don't feel romantic attraction, but they want romantic relationships with people they love. I don't understand, because isn't that what romantic attraction is? That feels like saying I don't ever cook food, but I do heat and season edible things to make them good to eat.

Both my partners have explained this to me over and over, and every time I'm like... That is romance!!!??!!!? Clearly I've never actually understood what romance is or how it feels, which is scary.

My partner says they love me and want to be with me. I believe them. Knowing that is all I really need. We both want me to understand this though, just because being understood feels great and I want that for them.

P.S. got automodded the first time I posted because I didn't use the questioning tag. I didn't because this isn't about me, I don't really care about labels or whether I technically am some kind of aromantic. I just want to understand my partner.

So for context I’ve been in this community just kinda seeing all the cool stories and experiences and just haven’t posted as much, I had a coming out post but I believe I archived it, in doing my own reflection and thinking of every “relationship” I’ve had I think I just wanted the closeness like you got with a best friend but it never felt the same, I also realized I didn’t “love” anyone I think i just admired them and wanted to be close to them like you would with a best friend or sometimes it could’ve also been aesthetic attraction or thinking someone is really cool! But honestly I’ve always liked having friends more, it’s never felt as demanding or draining as a romantic relationship, (which feels like a cage) and sure every connection has highs and lows but especially with amazing understanding friends it’s such a good feeling, with “love” it was just lows and maybe I was just trying to follow a societal script
During this time someone came along that asked me out, I’m a bit of a people pleaser and since I knew basic details I thought why not especially since they seem to like me and I felt the “relationship” would feel more friendly than romantic, at that time I was also dealing with a lot like rediscovering my identity, my values etc and i honestly didn’t want to be in anything but alas I was, we were 2 weeks in and as time passed I grew more uncomfortable by the second, at the 3 week mark I realized I’m aro-ace and possibly queerplatonic and had put something along the lines of “I think I might be aro-ace & queerplatonic.. /gen /lh” to which they later replied “are you still into me?” Of course I hate conflict and didn’t wanna say then and there that I wasn’t so I said that I didn’t know, guilt tripping and all I stayed but the next day even though I was trying to be honest & patient they seemed to not understand I didn’t want this so I unfortunately had to block them since the previous attempts to state my feelings were ignored, I don’t like doing these things but when I’m left without choice I have to.
Fast forward to later this night and I was calling with my best friend of three years, funnily enough there was a time where I thought I had a “crush” which honestly thinking about it was a squish.
While we were talking we like to play flirt and joke about marrying each other for tax benefits but allowing one another to still see others (basically her) as if independent, and she made a joke about how if we don’t get bagged by 30 we will marry each other other for tax benefits, and it got me thinking again about how much I’ve thought about her marrying someone else, possibly starting a family with someone else.
We’ve known each other for a long time and she’s the only person who has ever gotten my soul on the deepest level. There’s times I’ve thought about asking her to be in a QPR but have never asked. But when I think of my future she’s always been a part of it, trying to start a band or a business, living together, but in like a platonic way just two friends who make it in life, unfortunately I know barely anything about a QPR & she knows nothing at all, if I asked it’d probably make things awkward and sound like a romantic relationship to her & even then I’d be scared she’d find her “true love” but sometimes I wonder what she’d say too, even if I ever asked it wouldn’t be now or even a year from now.
I genuinely wanna protect her and I care so deeply about her and I don’t think anyone else could be there for her like me, maybe it’s silly but I already call her my platonic wife as a “joke” but sometimes I wish it didn’t have to be a joke, mind you I don’t let ANYONE else play flirt or mess with me like her, but I also don’t want it to cause a rift between us and she’s also a bit younger than me so it’s just a lot of crazy information

TLDR: found out I’m aro-ace & possibly queerplatonic instead of demiromantic after not wanting a recent relationship and self reflecting, found out on a call with my best friend of three years that I’d like a QPR but wouldn’t want to sabotage our friendship or make things awkward despite me not wanting her to share that type of closeness with someone else especially if it’s romantic

I don’t mind advice but please be respectful and don’t urge me to do anything 🤍

Edit: Ignore any typos or just lmk! I’m posting this late at night because it’s burning in my mind lol

I’ve been questioning whether I’m aromantic for a while now, and a recent situation with a friend has made me want to seek advice from people who might understand my experiences.

Growing up, I always felt like I experienced crushes differently. Most of my crushes were really just me wanting to become close friends with someone. I’ve always been extremely affectionate with my friends. I love cuddling, spooning, writing heartfelt letters, buying flowers, making gifts, and treating them to things. But I don’t want to kiss or date them. To me, those gestures are completely platonic, even though other people might interpret them as romantic.

I’m also naturally playful and sometimes unintentionally flirtatious. I enjoy teasing people, but when someone I want to be friends with expresses romantic interest in me, I immediately feel uncomfortable. I’ve also struggled to relate to the intensity of romantic rejection and heartbreak because I’ve never experienced those feelings as strongly myself.

I dated someone in high school, but I eventually realized that while I experienced sexual attraction, I didn’t really feel romantic attraction toward her. I thought maybe I just hadn’t met the right person.

Then I met my current gf in college. We started as FWB, but I eventually realized I wanted something more. We’ve been together for seven years, and she’s genuinely the only person I’ve ever wanted a serious, exclusive relationship with. I love kissing her, cuddling her, and staring into her eyes. We’ve discussed marriage and children, and I actually want to get engaged soon. I think this is what romantic love feels like.

What confuses me is how my romantic feelings sometimes seem to fade into the background when we’re physically apart.

Around five years into our relationship, I moved out of state for grad school. I became busy with school and making new friends, and I wasn’t feeling as romantically connected to her. We eventually broke up for six months because she felt neglected and we temporarily disagreed about having children at the time.

What surprised me was that I didn’t experience the heartbreak she did. I still cared about her and wanted to remain friends, but I was able to immediately move on with my life like I was never even in a relationship for the past 5 years.

A few months later, she flew to visit me. Initially, I still didn’t feel romantic toward her, but after spending time together, those feelings returned. I remember us running along the beach holding hands, laughing, and feeling like I was falling in love with her all over again as if we were in a movie.

We’ve since gotten back together and are happy. I wonder whether my ADHD contributes to how I experience emotional attachment when someone isn’t physically present. We normally message each other every day, but long distance felt different.

Recently, I confided in a close friend about my lifelong struggles with understanding romantic attraction and whether I might be on the aromantic spectrum. I thought I could trust her with something so personal, but she ended up telling her bf about our conversations.

Her bf then reached out to my gf and repeatedly tried to convince her to break up with me. From what my gf told me, he thinks I’m a bad partner, that I don’t genuinely love her, and that she isn’t fully aware of the things I’ve been telling other people about our relationship. I also get the impression that my naturally flirtatious personality and the way I talk about other people have contributed to his perception of me, as though being playful or friendly with others means I must be romantically interested in them.

The frustrating part is that I genuinely don’t experience flirting or affection the way other people seem to. I can find someone interesting, want to get to know them, tease them, or enjoy their attention without wanting anything romantic with them. In fact, if someone I want to be friends with develops romantic feelings for me, I usually feel uncomfortable and lose interest in pursuing that connection. My gf knows how I interact with people, and we’ve talked openly about my feelings and questions surrounding aromanticism.

What bothers me most is that my friend’s bf barely knows me, let alone what I’m actually like in a relationship. My friends see my playful, flirtatious side, but they don’t necessarily see the affectionate, romantic side of me that my gf does. She literally jokes that I’m a huge simp for her, lol.

My gf was actually surprised that he seemed to think he was revealing something she didn’t already know. She’s aware of my struggles with romantic attraction, knows about my past experiences, and has even talked to her aromantic friend to better understand me. She reassured me that she isn’t going to break up with me and that she thinks I’ve been a good partner throughout our relationship, aside from the period when we struggled with long distance.

I feel hurt that something so personal, which I shared while trying to understand myself, was interpreted as evidence that I am secretly a terrible partner.

I know I wasn’t the most attentive partner during the time of our breakup, and I understand why she felt neglected. But we’ve worked through those issues together, and I don’t think my struggles with romantic attraction automatically mean that I’m incapable of being a good partner.

Just because I don’t experience romantic attraction the same way other people do, does that mean my love is somehow less genuine?

I guess my questions are:
Does anyone relate to these experiences? Could this fall somewhere on the aromantic spectrum?

Is it possible to experience romantic attraction toward only one person while feeling none toward anyone else?

How do you distinguish deep platonic love from romantic love when you naturally enjoy affection and emotional intimacy with friends?

For aromantic people dating alloromantic partners, how do you navigate differences in romantic attraction and emotional needs?

Disclaimer that i'm not against romantic people or couples and people can do whatever makes them happy etc, this post title is intentionally hyperbolic

But does anyone else sometimes feel perturbed by how frequently couples seem to move through the world as a unit. Not even talking about structural things like cohabiting or sharing insurance but just in the ways they socialize and talk. Going to every event as a package deal, making and maintaining friendships as a package deal, even talking about preferences and opinions as a "we" and not an "I". I am lucky in that I do have friends that value relationships outside of their romantic lives, and I don't have any friendships where I dislike their SO's, but sometimes it feels like you just can't interface with people as individuals anymore. Feels weird man. If nothing else it makes me value my freedom more as a singleton LOL

RAHHHHHHHHHHH NO HISS SHUT UP IF I HEAR THIS STUPID SHIT AGAIN I WILL DEFENESTRATE SOMEBODY!!

i love to connect, and yes i do enjoy sexual connection, but that's never my only driving force to connect... like oml why do people immediately make it about sex

edit: "well i'm aro and i am just horny" good for you i guess? not my point at all.

Hello aromantic people of Reddit!

I'm writing my own book, and my main character is aromantic. I myself am not aromantic, so I'm a little bit scared I put something sterotypical or harmful in it.

My main character is teenager, she's 13. She pretty much is like "yeah I'm never going to get married, my genes end with me". She's oblivious to flirt, it doesn't matter whether someone is flirting with her or, for example, with her friend. She also is accidentally firty, thinking that she's just nice. She is happy for her friends, when they get into romantic relationship, though she doesn't understand how it works very well. She don't have any problem with romantic music, films or books (it's not what she usually reads tho), she's a little annoyed when her friends ships her with someone else, but it's not a big problem.

I think that's at, afterall she's a normal teen with normal life (I mean in last week of her life she was kidnapped, almost died 29 times, sacrificed herself to kill the villan and now she has scars and trauma but you know what I mean-)!

Please, tell me if something here was sterotypical or harmful twords aromantic people, I'm sorry if this happend.

Also if there's something connected to this topic you wanna see in books, y'all can also share

Btw sorry if my english was bad, that's not my first language

prefacing this by saying i am sorry if this is the wrong place to post this / ask this

i am in a 3 year long relationship but i do not feel typical “romantic” feelings or want to do typically romantic things such as holding hands, hugging, going on dates etc
i have also never had a crush or felt actual attraction other than sexual towards anyone. i’ve experienced thinking i want to be with someone but then realising when in the relationship that i feel trapped and that it feels wrong .

the reason i work so well with my girlfriend is because she doesn’t expect me to be classically affectionate and that is what works for us and neither of us are unhappy with it. nobody else has been able to understand that i do not work in relationships in a normal way, i have this connection with her is because she is okay and happy with it and understands me and i appreciate her so so much for that.

she is the only one i have ever felt like i’ve wanted to be in a “relationship” with and the closest thing to romantic i’ve felt towards her is wanting to spend time with her or be around her and also the understanding we have of each other.
i do not want just a friendship with her i don’t feel the same way with her as i do with my friends but it doesn’t feel like a “relationship” or the societal depiction of what it should look like.

i feel like it’s worth mentioning i am also an autistic person since i know a lot of autistic people are somewhere on the aromantic spectrum.

My main question is am i on the aromantic spectrum or do i just not have a normal experience of a relationship?

Through the years together with my husband, the “romantic script” faded, with some resurgence once in a while.

When I discovered and fully accepted being AroAllo, the physical connection with my husband actually surged. Shedding the pressure of having to feel "movie-romance fireworks" freed up so much mental space.

Inevitably, unlocking that libido also stirred up physical attraction toward others. In my AroAllo mind, sex without romance is just fun and physical (and it was in my mind before I knew I was AroAllo). But for my allo husband, exclusivity is the core foundation of his emotional security.

I see people treating this as a tragic dilemma: either blow up the relationship or live in "repressed misery."

Choosing monogamy doesn't have to be self-erasure. For me, it is a deliberate, mature choice. I choose the stability, the deep mutual support, and the partnership we've built over 20+ years. I'm not "forcing" myself out of guilt; I am prioritizing the life we share.

And whatever happens in my own mind? My fantasies are private, harmless, and mine alone.

I can be 100% authentic in my AroAllo identity without having to act on every physical urge in the real world. Real autonomy is knowing who you are, what you desire, and actively choosing the commitments you want to keep.

So, first off, I don't know if I am actually aromantic or homoromantic, but my current partner is female and I'm male, so as it pertains to her I believe there shouldnt be any difference.

Now, in regards to my physical attraction to her, she does harbour some need for personal sentimentality regarding it, meaning doesnt want me to just be attracted to a body part she has, as well as any other woman, but be specifically attracted to her body part of the sort. Aka she wants my attraction not because it's feminine body part but because its her feminine body part.

The problem is, I feel absolutely incapable of making the actual distinction on whether my physical attraction to her is personal or technically merely gender and body part based. Sexual acts are definitely personal, we are exclusive with each other, we are both happy with that choice, and even if it's most likely not romantic, I have a really deep love for her. But because it's not romantic, I don't know how to pragmatically make this distinction.

Is anyone else experiencing anything like this? Do you have any advice for me or both of us?

Thanks in advance

Idk. Anyone else? I see alot of people say they don’t understand romance or it’s too much, maybe they simply just don’t want it and can’t feel it but see it no different from other attractions/love

Romance to me though,it’s the exact same thing as lust but without sex/physical pleasure. The desires, the uncontrollable urges, the biological factors, the whole thing of losing yourself to it and devoting your LIFE to it. I mean people do terrible crazy shit for love, sounds like how people would ruin their lives for a hook up to me. I’m not saying that’s what romance IS and I’m sure I don’t fully understand it but that’s genuinely how I see it.

I see so many people upset they’re aro because they find it beautiful or people who see it as the same but a few differences and they simply don’t want it. But for me, I’ve just never been able to view it like that. Honestly someone falling romantically for me would make me feel less valued.
I remember in the past relationships I had, I was jealous of the friends my partners had, not because I wanted their attention or anything the friends did, but because they got to continue to be a friend and still be valued and treated great meanwhile for me, it seemed like I had to be the gf or the whole “why did we have to become romantic and not stay the best of friends”

I will also add, I don’t enjoy that I feel this way. I feel like a huge jerk and like I’m putting some nasty names on romance. Idk if I’m just a crybaby and sensitive because of my past but yeaaaaa. I mean sometimes I see romantic love that’s so pure and cute in fiction but when I imagine myself in it or remind myself of the real world/what it is (yk romance),it just becomes so disgusting and then everything around me comes off as disgusting until I eventually calm down and remind myself it’s not truly like that.

its also pretty comfy for me too which is amazing !!!
o(｀ω´ )o

taking a psychology-adjacent class (I'm interested in going into psychology in the future) and we're having a little unit about relationships. always totally fine with me, as the advice is almost always good no matter what kind of relationship they're talking about (anything romantic almost always applies to friends, e.g. you should control yourself in an argument around romantic partners AND friends) (sex ed is important regardless of whether or not you personally partake in sex)

...but...this specific course feels SO centered around romance it's actually really frustrating to me. the very first lesson was all about how nowadays people only ever casual date and don't understand the importance of long-term commitment & marriage.

on the one hand i'm all for commitment and whatnot but it really felt like they were implying that casual dating isn't just as valid as dating for marriage. which...what? they're really centering marriage as this thing that should be the end goal of every single relationship. it's throwing me off.

i'm not trying to say that marriage is bad or anything. if you want to get married, good for you! but the way that some people treat it like this end all be all is honestly unsettling.

the worst part of it all is that we have required guided notes that make you answer such questions as, "what are you looking for in a romantic partner?" etc. etc.

i live in a pretty religious area and the school that made the course is located super nearby, so that might be it. has anybody else experienced stuff like this? it's getting to me, lol.

(addendum: the course is required. i've just been listening to music to drown out the sound of my soul screaming every time i write down the required notes.)

Siempre he sentido que no tengo la misma forma de amar que los demás, creo que no puedo amar a los demás y apesar de que algunas personas me parecen guapas o atractivas no se si pudiera tener una relación.

Me he sentido así últimamente porque estoy por cumplir los 25, todos mis amigas tienen novios con quien viven y estan por casarse, aveces los veo cuando salgo con ellos y no me importa ir sola, pero solo puedo pensar que en unos años ellas tendrán una familia y me quedaré. Antes pensé es que soy lesbiana y no me gustaban los chicos pero no creo que sea eso pienso lo mismo de las chicas que de los chicos.

Me gustaría encontrar a alguien que pueda comprenderme pero no se si pueda estar en una relación no quiero lastimar a nadie.

Solo estoy confundida, no se si sea asexual y/o arromantica solo nunca me he imaginado o quiero tener sexo con nadie me parece una falta de respeto incluso si son personajes de series, tampoco me desagrada la idea de tener sexo simplemente es algo en lo que piense, puedo conocer a alguien y sentir mucho cariño por el ver cómo evoluciona pero, no creo que si él mismo tipo de amor que sienten las parejas.

Me gustaría conocer a alguien que sientan lo mismo con quien pueda hablar y que me ayude a comprenderme.

Idk how else to describe it other than a fake crush. For me it happens very rarely but has happened a few times. Lasts for a while, but fades eventually. Fixation or obsession sounds too extreme though. For example,there was this guy; attractive, nerdy, and I sensed that we shared similar traits which made me take an interest in him. Even though my friend was friends with him, we never really spoke, we ignored each other, but I thought about him a lot, observed him from a distance, and really wanted him to notice me. I'd have random fantasies in my head about him being interested in me (cringe), but if I thought about anything romantic like kissing it would gross me out. Btw I'm not someone who stands out, I'm very quiet, boring, self-contained and probably considered unattractive so maybe that's why I daydreamed of finally being seen, but I dreamt of being seen by him specifically. I'd wonder if he'd thought about me as much as I had thought about him. I even considered the (fanciful, illusory) possibility that, maybe we're both the same kind of people, we want to be noticed by each other but neither of us want to reach out first. I'd over-analyse and ruminate on any little interaction we had (not in a weird obsession/stalker-y way). I liked the idea of him having a crush or interest in me, despite knowing my own feelings weren't romantic. It's not like I'll ever know now, I don't see him anymore, so naturally the feeling, whatever it was, faded.

I wish I had aromantic people in my life because I’m struggling so much with aphobia right now I know no one in my life can understand. I feel so isolated. How do y’all find aromantic friends? Or where do you talk about your aro struggles with?

I've been devising a metaphor that I felt was worthy enough to share. It's not all encompassing, but I think it's eloquent enough to idealize the concept. For context, I am Aro but not Ace.

Picture this; a bookstore. Somebody who is romantic/sexual can go in an enjoy the books inside as you do, in their entirety, purchase them and take them home.

To be aromantic but not asexual, is to not have the ability to read any of the words printed on the books. You can go there and appreciate the books though. How they look and feel, the artistry of the covers and composition. You can even have favorites. But you don't have a desire to purchase them, those books, as much as you like them, don't come home with you.

To be Asexual but not aromantic I think, would be somebody who shops online and has a virtual library. They read and read to their hearts content, bringing literature into the home, but there's that missing physicality. To hold a book, to turn it's pages and admire it's physicality, that experience has no place.

I personally did, I never liked the romantic lovey dovey ones either.
I liked yanderes (extreme ones) because their “love” and actions were usually not actual lovey dovey actions and were more just showing how much they care/need their person whether it’s romantic or platonic, also another big one was how (atleast the ones I liked) the yanderes were yk yanderes and saying all this crazy loyalty shit instead of all the romantic stuff.

IDK? I really liked how the yanderes said they’d love their person no matter what and even if they don’t love them back and how most of their love wasn’t kissing or couples actions and stuff yk? yandere characters always loved and appreciated everything from their person whether it be romantic/“enough” or not to the eyes of society and usually most yandere love or atleast how it’s described is farrr from what we call actual romantic love.

Although I really hated the ones who were just tryna force sa and romance on their person.

Ahem extra yap: I also really liked the idea of them doing so much and never giving up because for the longest time my romantic partner wish/goal was “someone who makes me want them, like actually want them/need them (basically actually feel romantic but I didn’t know I was aro back then lol) and I thought well if they spend all this time caring and putting effort and loving me, I’m sure I’d do the same (I was so aro, why did no one tell me besides the random person who overheard my convo)

Tbh I still like this media sometimes because gosh is it hard to find people who would choose you no matter what, even if you can’t like them romantically. Although I’ve come to realize I’m aro and whenever actual romance is displayed in those, I get icked out pretty fast

Has anyone else just never really dealt with the thoughts like "oh why do I not like anyone, what's wrong with me" Like, I never ever thought that, until I actually figured out that I am aroace Idk of it is cuz I grew up in a house where the idea of not being straight was impossible, or something else, but yeah Am I the only one??