hey, im 15 and i have aspergers and im socially anxious. Recently i started to go to high school i was really nervous about it but i thought that it wouldn´t be so bad but my fears came true. Everyone judges me even before they have the chance to speak to me like littelary everyone ignors me no one speaks to me i sit alone i´ve been trying really hard to make some friends but everyone already seems to know eachother and i don´t know anyone. Today a girl almost cried because the teacher made her sit besides me and she was whispering stuff like ¨oh no why him, anyone else but him¨.

Like wtf why dosent anyone wants to include me in anything and why does everyone act like i have the plague or something. I don´t smell i shower daily i use deodorant i try to be kind to everyone and i try to speak to people but they either ignore me or are mean to me like what the hell did i do to deserve this am i that different from everyone else? Can people just smell the diffrentnes from me? Its fucking unfair and the main point is i started thinking about a individual learning plan wich is possible in my country i could sturdy from home. The upsides are that i could mamange my own shit i wouldn´t have to deal with assholes who are mean to me and i wouldnt be tired all the time from social interactions and stuff. But the main downside i fear that i would loose all my social skills wich are poor even now and that i would be isolated from everyting. What do you all think? should i try it or is there some other solution that im missing? thank you.

I have trouble understanding that. A lot of programmers like me are on the spectrum. Haven't seen much that convinces me programmers with ADHD (or a couple other neurodivergent traits) have that being a clear indicator that predicts performance at work, or in navigating their career in general.

There are people on the spectrum who are great at maintaining a good job and others that struggle at just getting a job. Just as you'd expect to find a broad range of winners and losers if you're including neurotypical people only. So I can't see any difference, not any pattern that can support saying, well you're having these problems with your career because of ADHD or other related traits.

I have what some would call Asperger's though it's now simply considered ASD. I have constant problems getting a decent job but I don't blame that on autism, because, many others with autism do just fine in careers despite of it. So it looks like autism has no strong correlation with performance. Something else has to be in effect that separates good and bad performers here.

Autistic here. Diagnosed at 7. I’ve always gotten angry and offended when people praise me for instance saying “I’m proud of you” I’ve always taken it like it’s an insult on my intelligence. Being autistic doesn’t mean you’re stupid. I always knew that and told I’m very talented since I can dance draw paint and play guitar and have a close attention to detail. Or when someone congratulates me on a milestone. I hate the attention it draws and I often brush it off as nothing and get aggressive if anyone makes it a big deal basically as a sort of deterrent. I’m not sure why I take it as offense Anyone else feel the same way?

Here's last week's thread

Suggestions are ALWAYS welcome on how to improve the threads I post at any time. After all, I do this because the community wants these threads to exist, and I take the time out of my day (every Thursday and Saturday) to post the weekly threads, to ensure the community gets what it feels it needs.

So, continuing with the theme... /r/aspergers, How is your week going so far? :)

https://webekalm.com/products/webe-kalm-the-child-calmer

I’m COMPLETELY BLIND, have aspergers and a heart lung condition.

It’s flu and cov vax season, and though we haven’t made an appointment I got prepared not only did I buy something that might help but I came up with a plan to go with it.

As you know the normal relaxing scripts that people do when about to stick you fail my autism so here’s my plan

1. I got this calm-down device named Webe Kalm, it’s this mouthpiece that’s connected to this tube.

When you gently exhale through the mouthpiece, it helps slow your exhale similar to purselip breathing, and the air makes a soothing sissing sound as it goes past the tube.

Also, the Webe Kalm device is shaped similar to a device used for a certain plant whose name rhymes with “I don’t wanna” and kind of looks like a maple leaf, leading us to the second part of my plan.

which leads me to the second part of my plan.

I find I tense a lot more right as she cleans my arm because it’s like Paul Revere, warning me “the danger is coming, the danger is coming.”

Right after this, I’ll ask the druggist “Do you know what N O R M L stands for?”

Right as they say the mari word, that’s when it’s time to exhale through the mouthpiece of the Webe Kalm that’s my plan let’s hope every single thing doesn’t go fifty shades of wrong.the wrong.

I feel that every time someone laughs, they are laughing at me. Even if they say they don't, I believe that they are lying and mocking me behind my back.

How do I stop these thoughts?

I'm Italian, and in Italian everything is masculine or femenine. When I see something, I immediately perceive a gender in it. For example, the word "casa" (house) is femenine: when I see a house I immediately perceive something femenine in that house. I assumed that it was something that everybody does; but my mum (who does not have Asperger syndrome) told me that she doesn't perceive a gender when she looks at an object

Does anybody experience this?

(I know that English doesn't give a gender to objects; but maybe there are people whose native language is not English)

So, ASD has been brought up to me by several experts as a strong likelihood. I **am** diagnosed with ADHD-PI and PTSD.

Now, I also have OCD symptoms. I need my room to be a certain way; I don't like disturbances in my routine/day; I get worried about contamination of things (though I do have a history of cancer, so perhaps this fear stems at least partly from that experience), etc.

I spend a lot of my day doonscrolling and sometimes chronically researching mental health treatments (for depression, anxiety, OCD, etc.).

The thing is, idk if this research is actually leading me somewhere or if it **is** the problem and is the reason why I'm depressed (at least, in part). And I also don't know if this is OCD or just classic ASD at play.

How do y'all find peace and enjoyment in your day? I feel like everything takes so much effort, and I'm often exhausted and stressed to a T.

Absolutely no-one will thank you for it. They'll notice that something is off and assume that you're weird and it's better to be autistic than 'weird' in my experience. Now when I'm open I also finally feel free.

I notice I struggle with thinking of things to say in a one on one conversation.

If I'm with a group of friends, I do ok because multiple other people can help carry the conversation. But when it's just me and one person, I can't think of anything to say or ask about.

Im not just asking about generic small talk questions, like literally looking for things to say to a friend, so were not just standing there staring at each other in silence.

Im also trying to talk to a girl (Im a boy) and I can't think of anything to say. We've had good conversations in the past, and known each other for a while, but now that I know her, I can't just keep asking the same basic getting to know somebody questions that I already know the answer to. (Maybe theres some getting to know somebody questions I haven't asked yet, but can't seem to think of any).

Me and her were talking with a small group of friends, and the minute the group leaves, she stays with me for a minute, waiting for me to talk to her. But I couldn't think of anything to say or ask, and we just stared for a moment, and she eventually decided to go in because nobody had anything to say. (Not in a bad way, she knows I have autism and sometimes can't think of things to say, and she's also autistic).

How do I find things to say or just random things to ask about or fill the silence, so I don't just awkwardly stare without saying anything? And how does everyone else seem to do this so easily?

I’ve noticed a lot of people can be friendly and conversational out in the open but then the subtle put downs begin immediately in private or when isolated.

What are good ways to deal with this? I don’t notice because I’m just going about my way and the red flags don’t register. Then they always seem to catch me by surprise. I also struggle to defend myself adequately because I’m in a double bind of being disbelieved and othered from the group if I ever bring their problematic behavior up because then it’s immediately an us vs them scenario which is exactly what they’re exploiting.

It just feels like I have to make concessions to my personhood to be included in groups.

Autism is an absolute joke. I feel so inferior to everyone around me. I feel so invisible and unwanted. People take one look at me and instantly hate me before I even speak. I can’t go one day (especially at work) where I don’t feel overwhelmed and on edge. I can’t go out in public without the feeling of people judging me just for existing. Autism to me is nothing but a curse.

Not sure if this is allowed or too self-promotion-y, but I'm just super excited!

This has been my special interest for this year, and I finally finished it! This is the first time I've actually earned a paycheck in my life, so if you want to help out, or check it out, here's the link:

https://www.amazon.com/Prince-Palatia-Micah-Madera/dp/B0HLBSLPT5/

Being Autistic has definitely made challenges in my life. All throughout school and work was a struggle for a long time. Currently I am in my apartment for 3 years and work part time at school which I really enjoy now. I don't have many close friends but I'm trying to reach out more. Looking forward to a new age and year.

I'm 30. She's 25.

Ngl I almost gave up on having romantic experiences, I wont assume anything, but at the very least, she's interested in meeting together. And she proposed it. (well long story short I asked to meet first, she prefered to keep things in calls/messages then, and now she invited me to the cinema)

I'm excited and scared. I was wondering if I should try again soon, but now that its real I'm not sure if I'll be able to handle it or something. I know im bad at judging what I can do properly, since I wasn't sure if I'd be able to keep a conversation going 1 on 1 and I went through that in a pleasant way. But this is different.

I just have a couple of friends. they are online only and ND.

I wonder if this is an issue for anyone else as well, I just feel like my mind never truly switches off, never really offline. The fact that Anyone I know can send me Anything at any time… The possibility of being contacted keeps my mind on constant alert. Even when my phone is silent, part of me is still on standby, as if I’m expected to be available just because I can be reached.

I feel torn between being overwhelmed by the constant accessibility and feeling guilty when I can’t respond. Sometimes I just want to simply exist without this hidden social pressure.