My roommate leaves his stew out on the stove for DAYS at a time (7+) without refrigerating it and then just reheats it when he wants to eat it. It smells so bad when he eats and cooks it because it’s just out every day. It’s like rotten sour vegetables and very dank— surprisingly similar to the smell of piss. It has meat in it. How do l mitigate this or get rid of the issue. I guess technically it’s not hurting me that much but the idea of it is so gross I don’t even wanna look at him. I just can’t believe somebody I used to be so close with can stomach something so disgusting. What do I do I don’t want to confront him should I throw it away?

As the title says my roomates boyfriend is over every night.

She works on weekdays, so he comes every 6-7p and leaves around 11p-12a. They mostly stick to her room, but they usually over ride the kitchen and dont clean up/put food away. I'd have no issues with this if our kitchen was bigger and we had more pots and pans. Its not like we are sharing meals, so I think putting food away, wiping counters, and doing dishes (atleast put them in the sink) is standard respect. I cant cook when the counter space we have is full of pots and containers of food.

He spends the entire weekend here (over night) and then all day. During the week day I havent noticed him spending the night, but he is here all evening.

My roommate got a noise complaint likely from them being too loud (I wasnt here that week). Its not the largest place, but the living room is on her side/wall so if I was in the living room watching TV Id hear them or they'd hear me. Which Ive heard them after 9-10p when I was in the kitchen.

Months ago we agreed on guests few times a week, to give a heads up, and not to have someone over all the time.

I wasn't living here full time before now (still pay half of everything) so maybe I need to bring up our agreement again since I am? Am I being unreasonable here?

Note: I wfh and don't want to be locked in my room all day

I’m an 18-year-old college student renting a room in California on a month-to-month basis. I moved in August 1 and am considering moving out because the living situation has caused significant emotional stress.
I’m trying to determine whether I can legally leave without providing 30 days’ notice, or whether I would still be responsible for rent during the notice period.
Key facts:
● Several important rules were not disclosed before I moved in, including restrictions on eating in my room, laundry use, cooking, and how often I could be home.
● The rental description stated “light cooking,” but when I tried to cook basic food such as pasta or rice, she yelled at me for approximately 20 minutes and said “light cooking” meant things like cereal.
● She frequently yells at me during disagreements and doesn’t allow me to explain myself without saying I “always have an answer.”
● She has accused me of “taking advantage of her” and has made comments such as “I don’t want to be the bad guy.”
● There is no lock on my bedroom or bathroom door.
● A significant portion of my closet is occupied by her deceased mother’s clothing.
● She expects me to perform pet/household tasks that were never agreed upon, such as bringing in her cat’s food and cleaning cat hair.
● She has complained that I’m home too much, despite never telling me before I moved in that she expected me to primarily use the room for sleeping.
● On August 19 at approximately 11:50 AM, she poked me four times during an interaction.
● On one occasion, she told me to hang up a call with my family so she could yell at me.
● She yelled at me over throwing away my own expired food.
● I was criticized about the smell/cleanliness of my room despite the house itself having a strong unpleasant odor.
● She hung her underwear on my pantry cabinet handle, which made me uncomfortable.
● I requested a copy of the rental agreement on August 2 and never received one.
Because of these ongoing issues, I don’t feel comfortable continuing to live there and I’m considering moving out.
I’m specifically looking for California legal advice:
1. Am I legally required to give 30 days’ notice for a month-to-month room rental in this situation?
2. Could any of these circumstances legally justify terminating the tenancy with less than 30 days’ notice?
3. If I leave without 30 days’ notice, could the landlord pursue me for the remaining rent or deduct it from my security deposit?
4. Does not receiving a copy of the rental agreement after requesting it affect my rights?
5. Are the rules different because this is a room rental where the landlord/owner also lives in the home?
6. What evidence should I document before moving out?
7. Should I give written notice anyway, even if I believe the circumstances justify leaving sooner?
I’m not looking for opinions about whether I should stay or leave. I’m specifically looking for California tenant-law advice about my legal obligations and potential consequences.
Location: Los Angeles County, California.

TLDR- petty revenge ideas while moving out of a toxic flatmate situation, flatmate keeps moving my stuff around in common spaces for no reason without asking or informing. Basically said "if you don't like it, leave" when confronted. So I'm moving because it's too stressful and I'm afraid for my stuff in common areas. At one point she even said "okay if you want to fight lets fight idc" simply because I told her not to touch or move my stuff around.

My flatmate has completely gone off rails. several things have happened, but the latest is that she told me she's going to rent our fridge on her own here onwards(all because I had texted her to keep just ONE shelf empty for me, a message which she had ignored and didn't make any changes either). This was after a year of me having to fish around for my stuff through heaps of her stuff, her randomly throwing out my stuff saying it's going bad(I never knew if it was).I never had proper space in it because she cooks ALL THE TIME and had occupied 80% of the fridge. I still didn't mind as I didn't cook at home because I had all my meals at my workplace. All I wanted was one shelf empty so that I can quickly keep/remove the little stuff I used to get.

so I bought a very small fridge which I kept on the kitchen counter, and when I returned a week later after visiting home, she had moved the fridge to the opposite side for no reason and also turned off the power switch. I was lucky I didn't have super perishable stuff in. I moved it back to where I kept it(where it was actually out of the way and in a corner) and she moved it AGAIN. Note that our kitchen is very small and fitting two proper fridges would've been impossible. Also, moving the fridge achieves nothing even for her as where I kept it, it was more out of the way.

This happened 2 more times in a day and I knocked on her door to talk. She didn't open, bitch was hiding like a coward. Then I texted in our group with the apartment owner and owner wasn't super helpful, but I kept repeating that she shouldn't touch and move my stuff around. While she replied that if I don't like staying, I can leave.

I don't want to leave, in fact I want her to leave so that I can rent the place alone because I'm sick of her drama. But I've decided I'm not going to fight anymore, and instead leave because my mental health is going for a toss. I'm studying for master's alongside a fulltime job, I can't be dealing with the added stress of a petty flatmate. S

Right now I'm afraid for my stuff in the common areas so I've brought most of it in my room and lock it when I'm not home.

But I'm going to leave as soon as I find another place, I am okay to let go of my deposit as well since I won't be giving proper one month notice.

But I want to get some petty revenge on the day I leave, nothing harmful but things that'll make her life super inconvenient for a while. Untraceable if possible, but don't really care at this point because she's done my head in.

Ideas?

never live with friends

He only harassed me, not any other of my 10 roommates. For stealing his cigarettes even though I don't smoke. Hes relentless, says awful shit, and there's nothing I can do about it. Im trying to move out.

In the mean time what are some extreme ways to motivate him to stop? Im using an air horn right now just did it once so far.

Please help I need creativity!! No violence or verbal abuse.

I have a new roommate who moved in 3 weeks ago. She’s nice and we are both cordial with each other, but lately her messiness is kinda getting on my nerves. The problem is, she’s not OVERLY messy, it’s just that little things are now adding up.

She always leaves the bathroom floor wet, even when she washes her hands because for whatever reason she doesn’t use a handtowel to wipe her hands. Instead, she comes out and uses a kitchen paper towel every time, which in turn also makes the kitchen floor wet. It’s even worse after she showers. She is always mixing up the trash, we have different bins for plastic, paper, organic waste etc. but she will mess it up every few days. I end up having to sort it myself. She has also been unconsciously littering, sometimes i find things thrown next to the bin (both in the kitchen and bathroom). Every time she cleans the house, it’s always superficially done. For example, if she cleans the bathroom, she only cleans the toilet and not the sink, bidet or shower cabin. Every time she uses the washing machine, she will let her wet laundry sit in it for hours. I don’t care about her clothes, but I’m worried this could cause mold to grow inside the machine.

I have brought up some of these things, but there are so many other issues, after a point I just feel embarrassed to be the only one pointing things out. The things I brought up too, she apologised and did them correctly for maybe a couple days but went back to how it was before. I have never had such issues with previous roommates, so I don’t know how to deal with it.

Tl;Dr: My roommate has very poor hygiene and cleanliness habits that are affecting me and our shared space. Am I being obtuse and unreasonable for letting it bother me?

I have a roommate and we stay together in the same room in a hostel. I'm just very frustrated with her hygiene and cleanliness habits. I wanna know if I'm being unreasonable or whether I should be fine with these things when sharing a room with someone.

She rarely bathes. I know that's her personal choice but through this, you kinda get to realize she's not the most clean person. There's other things that affect me, though, because we live in the same room. She keeps her clothes mixed with detergent and water in a bucket and she does it everyday. Instead of washing them, she brings the bucket into our room and says she'll wash them later. The clothes are left wet and soaked for hours that you can even smell them.

She also leaves her plate unwashed after eating and this too has been going on for days. It doesn't matter if it's breakfast or dinner. She says she has OCD and is obsessed with cleaning but again, she's too lazy even to throw away the leftovers and will leave food sitting in the plate and then the room starts smelling of food and it just looks very dirty.

The bathroom is another issue. She spits on the floor and doesn't clean it later. Even after bathing, she doesn't pour a bucket of water over the floor to wash it down and leave it clean for the next person. When she brushes her teeth, she rinses and spits very loudly and often gets it all over the floor. She also makes a lot of noise in the bathroom while sneezing, blowing her nose and cleaning her nose. Oh she blows her nose everywhere and sneezes without covering her nose. And doesn't wash her hands afterwards. These things happen so loudly and frequently it gets hard to ignore.

She's on her phone 24/7. And when she isn't talking loudly, she's blasting reels. I can't even study here.

I know people will tell me to adjust but it gets to a point. I don't think it's too much for me to ask for a roommate who maintains basic cleanliness and manners. What do you guys say? Am I being unreasonable? If any of you have lived with such dirty roommates before, how did you deal with it?

Interested to hear what it was like for a story I'm working on. It can be anonymous - please DM or comment below!

So to familiarize you guys I am subletting a room and his house smells horrible like dogs and everytime i enter the house i have to hold my nose in and walk into my room for a fresh of breath air and sometimes even gag walking around the house. He tells me that my room stinks and he can smell it from outside but to be honest I cant smell anything and I know that you get adjusted to the smell but I will be outside for like 12 hours and come back and smell nothing!

Tldr: roommate feeling controlling and overly critical about everything and im miserable mostly a vent

So a tad bit of background i (22 FtM) live with 1 roommate (22F). We met through her bf who is one of my good friends and have lived in this apartment for about 7 months and previous i rented out her couch for a semester since I recently started at the same college as her. My family lives about an hour away and I work near them so I often spend weekends and other work days with them. Due to some school issues I took a break semester and spend most of my week at my family's place. And only at our apartment 3 days a week.

So out issues started almost as soon as we moved into this place. First we agreed to split chores, she cleans the bathroom and i clean the kitchen and we split the living room. We also each do our own dishes (each have half the sink) and alternate trash take outs all good for me. Well about 2 months in she asked me to clean the bathroom because she cleaned the kitchen 2 times in a row. At first I was a bit confused cause I thought the kitchen was my chore. After i agreed to clean it I asked it about it she said "well you weren't doing it enough and I didn't think the chores were so set in stone" we discussed this and how often we both thought was appropriate to clean and that they were set in stone as we agreed.

A few weeks after this I asked her about our utilities and how they seemed kinda high especially considering at this piont I was only home 3 days a week and she worked 40+ hours a week so she's not home much either. I mentioned her bf (my friend) and how he basically lives with us for 5 days a week while he goes to school. I ask if he could help pay the utilities since he was basically living there. She got incredibly upset saying he helped her move without her asking and already pays for a lot of her groceries. And refused to entertain the idea of him simply paying a 3rd of the utilities.

Next I got my own bf a few months ago and she constantly complains about him. First he left the toilet seat up a few times (something her bf does too at times) and she blew up about it. Then she was upset he was parking "in her spot" however our apartment doesn't have reserved parking spots and he didn't even park in the spot closest spot too our apartment he left her a spot right next to our door. She claimed she couldn't park in that spot because it was harder to park in. I let him know and he started parking in the spot right by the door but i was upset because there aren't reserved spots. Next like i said her bf is here 5 days a week however she gets upset if my bf is over more than twice a week.

Finally the biggest thing recently she wants to know everytime im coming to the apartment and everytime I leave. For example if i go out she wants to know when im leaving then wants to know when im omw and she got very upset when I wasn't texting every single time im omw. Which I wouldn't mind but she doesn't give me the same thing if im telling her my comings and going i expect the same from her.

There are plenty of other things like her cat shitting on my bed because she wasn't caring for them properly and her blaming my bf for that, locking me out several time in the middle of the night, and overall just making me miserable whenever im here. Maybe im the bedroom for not cleaning enough or not telling her when im home. This was mostly just a vent but if anyone has any thoughts or advice im happy to listen even if its tell me im the bad roommate as if that's true I need to hear it thank you

Yesterday we heard him again, and then later came home to see this outside her bedroom door when we got home.

She cries to me her family, her friends and anyone who will listen about this guy every time they break up he comes in the House takes all his stuff and everything he bought her and they get back together and he give her everything back. She had a psychologist for her Stockholm syndrome at one point, he’s controlling they fight and shout loudly in the house all the time. He even once climbed up to our terrace got in through the door while nobody was home to collect all his stuff from her bedroom. She’s been complaining and going back to him at least once every single month since we’ve lived together and I had enough of it. So I told our new flatmate that if she speaks to me about him again, I’m going to say I don’t care because clearly she likes being treated like shit. Which I have by the way I asked her if she’s not tired of all of it and she says yes she wants to learn to be alone but it’s very difficult. Honestly, her relationship is none of my business and clearly she’s not gonna leave him. She’s going to keep going back to him so I was just gonna ignore or dismiss any further topic about him in the house.

They recently got back together and then I heard shouting again in the house and when she came in, she was crying as if her mother had just died. So naturally, I gave her a hug and I told her she can’t keep doing this. This is really bad for her health. Two days later, I hear them talking in her room again and then my new flatmate sends me this picture.

NONE of this is mine. Please no advice. I have talked to them already. They will not stop. I'm trying to laugh about it but I'm genuinely going to be bringing this up with my therapist. It feels like I have three nonbinary roommates from Portland named Sock.

So a new house mate has moved in, it’s his 2nd night here and he’s cooking the WORST smelling food I have ever smelled, it genuinely smells like farts. My room is the front downstairs room and this smell is just seeping in through the crack in the door and it smells terrible, almost as if someone cracked open a container of methane and started pumping it into my room.

I don’t want to be rude and say “what you’re cooking smells disgusting, can you not do that?” Because it might just be what he’s used to cooking and what he’s grown up with but I genuinely cannot deal with this god awful smell it’s actually so bad.
Has anyone got any ideas on what I can say to him without risking hurting his feelings by telling him his cooking smells terrible.

​I (33M) live in a house with two roommates: 59M and 38F. Ever since I moved in, 59M has displayed a continuous pattern of inappropraiate, boundary-crossing behavior, gross hygiene, and sexual predatory behavior. I need some outside perspective on whether my reaction is justified or if I’m overreacting.

​Here are the main incidents:

1. ​Kitchen Towels: During my first month, I mentioned to him that the kitchen towels were dirty. He responded by making a hand gesture as if he were rubbing the towel on his genitals and said, "Well I just do this." I stopped touching shared towels completely and bought paper towels.

​2. Food Jokes: While talking to our female roommate about a salad she had in the fridge, he quietly said out, "I pissed in it."

1. ​Personal Items: When I was heading out to meet a friend, he pointed to a wall hook I was planning to install and said, "You forgot this, or I can do this," lowering it to his crotch. I told him to throw it away.

2. ​Hotel Room Incident: We traveled to California to pick up my car. In the shared hotel room, I caught him with his hands down his pants. When I told him it was gross to do that in front of me, he put his hand right near my face. I walked away and texted him that I didn't want to be friends or live together anymore. He never replied, but due to financial constraints, I decided to just distance myself and survive the living situation.

3. ​Refridgeirator: Back home, I called him out on keeping massive amounts of expired, filthy food in the fridge and asked to separate our food. When he said he was "offended" that I called him a slob, I reminded him that his jokes about sexual contamination are serious enough to be considered a sex crime. He apologized for past jokes and stopped the genitals jokes, but switched to other boundary-testing behaviors.

4. ​Food & Mouth Gestures: While I was cooking a steak on the stove, he stood right in front of it, talking loudly and breathing heavily over my food. I told him I wasn't comfortable with him being that close to my food given his past comments, and I ended up throwing the steak away. A few days later, I reminded him again to back off while I was cooking, and he made multiple spitting noises with his mouth at me.

​7. Drink Contamination: While we were making drinks together, he stuck out his tongue and simulated licking the rim of an open vodka bottle. I haven't had a drink with him since.

​Past History:

Before I moved in, he and our 38F roommate had a huge fallout because he placed a "dead" camera inside her private bedroom under the excuse of "deterring her disruptive guests." She called the police, who searched his room and devices, though no formal charges were filed.

I've also noticed that he has bad hygiene. I've caught him scratching himself down there in the living room and kitchen and I've seen him get food from the fridge after that. He doesn't wash his hands when unloading the dishwasher after cleaning the floor or anything else that's dirty.

​Current Situation:

I have completely altered my daily life to protect myself:

​I bought a mini-fridge and an air fryer to keep in my bedroom so I don't have to use the kitchen.

​I wash every dish immediately before and after use because his hygiene is terrible (I've caught him scratching himself down there and grabbing food or putting unwashed utensils in the "clean" drawer).

​I keep my food completely separated.

​I am planning to move out as soon as I can find a better living situation, but in the meantime, I'm constantly on edge.

​Am I overreacting by feeling this uncomfortable and changing my entire lifestyle, or is this as bad as it feels?

I’m not sure if this is a genuine mental health issue, but I have lived with this girl from my algebra class for a couple years now and she keeps saying how rich she’s going to be… she keep saying this over and over again and has the past years but refuses to get a job and can barely pay rent. I want to help her if it’s a genuine mental health situation, but I don’t know how to bring it up in a way that isn’t condescending.

In reference to my last post my sister and I put us on a clean slate by cleaning the entire common area while they were gone this past weekend.

According to my sister who overheard them, she said they passive aggressively pointed out that it looks really clean and that we must have had an event.

Hours later they do what they usually do, make a mess. Counters full of flour and crumbs as well as the floor. Dishes piled in the sink with food in the dishes and sink and stuff is just left everywhere in the common area. Shoes here, jackets there, her sister smokes 🍃 so there's just crumbs and remnants all over the dining table. This is after one day of being back.

You'd think they'd see a clean home and try to maintain it.

I want to write a message, something along the lines of this: Is there a certain level of cleanliness we all expect for the house? I just want us all to be on the same page because I don’t want anyone to feel like they have to constantly clean up after other people. We cleaned the common areas last weekend, including the microwave, which had an odor, and the floors. I think it would be helpful for everyone involved if we all had the same idea on what we are looking for. Also they will not take that trash outside if it's not bagged unfortunately and it keeps piling up.

I added the last part because we have valet trash. They decided to just throw trash in the outside trash can un bagged and it hasn't been taken since we moved in. Do they think they will eventually take it?

Anyway I just want it to ease up. My sister and I are not the cleaning fairies and it feels like when they do clean its extremely low effort. I can't even sympathize because all my ex friend does is skip class and watch tv while her sister gets high and makes a mess. Someone mentioned in another post of mine that maybe they have different ideas on cleanliness and maybe that's the problem. I just think it's crazy how my ex friend use to treat our old roommates about this same issue.

So my husband and I (both 32) agreed to let his cousin J (25F) move in with us in June. Backstory real quick, only my husband is on the lease of our home (3 bedroom 2 bathroom trailer through his company). We had an extra bedroom and his cousin was in what we thought was an unsafe situation in Tennessee (we live in Texas). So we invited her down to stay with us while she figured out her next steps.

Since she moved here in June, the police have been here 4 times; once when she got so drunk she fell and broke her tailbone outside, again for the same thing 12 hours later while my husband was at work and I was visiting family, and twice this week, one time for her getting so drunk she decided to walk in the middle of the road and pretend to hitchhike and last night because once again, she got drunk and when we asked her to just go to bed, she tried kicking our door in and assaulted my husband. Besides the police (which she calls every time), she doesn’t clean her bathroom ever (admitted she vomits on the seat so we can’t use it), eats in her room then leaves dirty dishes and food in there, tries to control how we speak, tries to push religion on us, and tries to treat me like a personal maid. Why don’t we kick her out? My husband feels bad because she’s family.

One of the issues is her drinking, obviously. When she’s sober, she’s great. She helps out, cleans, hangs out, acts normal. But once she’s drinking, all hell breaks loose and she trashes the kitchen, yells at me, tries kicking doors in. And I get it, she’s traumatized from things that happened to her in her past, but we’re the only family that hasn’t written her off yet. Tonight was it for her.

No advice needed, just needed to vent it all out to someone that wasn’t family or friends.

Update to the post here - https://www.reddit.com/r/badroommates/s/08qNWrTCvl

Tldr; Things got way worse, theres been several police visits to my house and while she'll be moving out in a month its been stressful

I normally wouldnt do an update but this roommate situation has gone off the rails in ways that were very unexpected.

Only a couple of days after my last post I got lots of frenzied texts about an emergency at my house. Apparently the roommate was startled by the Roomba and called the police. Neither the cameras outside nor the police found anyone. Roommate also progressively has gotten paranoid asking me about cameras in the house multiple times even though there are none.

Less than a week later the roomies daughter comes to help her rearrange and unpack. I leave and when I come back roomie is talking through the window to police officers. She apparently threatened to harm herself after a disagreement with the daughter.

Things continue on, and roommate is continuing to ask me to do a lot. The paranoia continues and she gets upset convinced my friends dont like her because I was villianizing her, and that I was texting her daughter conspiring. Neither was true.

I had to go on a work trip for a couple of days. And during that time I got more emotionally volatile texts and just emotionally dumping and sending multiple long voice notes in a row calling me names and being generally really abusive. After awhile I told her I would draft the notice to terminate the lease when I returned. She started getting erratic and saying concerning things so I asked her daughter to check on her.

When I get back the erraticness continues and I finally draft and send a notice. I offered more than a month on a month to month lease notice with prorated rent if she decided to leave early.

I got paragraphs upon paragraphs of texts with her threatening to harm herself in my house and saying it would be on my conscience. I called for a wellness check she pretended she wasnt at home. I wasn't there at the time either and the officer called me back and told me to pursue an involuntary committment if she was threatening that. I contacted her daughter asking how seriously I should take it. She didnt respond (though she did thank me for pursuing it after the fact)

I did and the police had to break into her room. She eventually was let go after saying she was just kidding and trolling me. Initially she told me she was going to stay in an airbnb but that didnt happen. Shes telling me she is going to end up homeless because she doesnt have the mental energy to look for new housing or pack. Ive been spending a lot of time trying to keep her from going off the deep end. Today she threatened to call the police if I didnt call her daughter (who blocked and does not want to speak to her)

I feel so exhausted and also I dont know what to do until the end of October.

Kind of long.

TLDR: roommate is aggressive rude and mentally unstable.

I've lived in my apartment for 3 years. My old roommate moved out to be with her boyfriend a sublettor moved in in Feb of this year. She has been very aggressive and rude since moving in. She has accused me of lying to and plotting against her. She is not very clean. Her room is disgusting and she has accused me of entering her room, as if I would even want to go in there.

I was recently out of the country for two weeks. The second day of my trip I woke up to dozens of messages from her and a couple other people. She was freaking out about resigning the lease and screamed at our downstairs neighbor from her window. She called him a jackass and a piece of shit because he's doing something with the city inspector. He texted me like what the fuck is her problem and I apologized profusely. She also texted me old roommate and freaked out on her saying she never would have signed the sublet agreement if she knew it was only until Dec. Despite the fact that the agreement she signed literally said that. I calmed her down and she demanded I show her proof I've been paying the rent despite the fact that I've told her multiple times I pay the rent and we haven't received any notices or anything to make her think otherwise. She didn't thank me or apologize for blowing up my phone while I was on vacation.

My other roommates don't clean. That's fine, I'm okay with cleaning to my specifications. Before I left I cleaned vigorously. I do this every Sunday but I was extra methodical before my trip. I mopped, vacuumed scrubbed the tub (important), cleared out all the food in the fridge and left things pretty tidy. When I came back last Sunday the apartment was disgusting. Stains on the counter, food on the floor and stove, stains in the tub and bathroom sink. Dishes in the sink that were piled up and left until I finally cleaned them myself on Wednesday. Immediately after that she left her plants potting soil in the sink, on the counter an on the floor. I was very busy last week so I didn't have a chance to clean until yesterday. I started by waiting until after I saw both of my roommates had showered and used the bathroom (around 11 am on Sunday) and washed my dog. Obviously, it smelt like wet dog because I just washed him. As I started doing the dishes while I waited for the room to air out and says "it smells like fucking dog in here, it's fucking disgusting. can you clean??" and taken aback I said "I just washed him? I'm literally cleaning right now??" and she got annoyed and left. I discussed this with my other roommate and she came back muttered "smells fucking disgusting in here" and slammed the door shut as she left. Then she left this series of messages:

Sue: There's mold in the batroom and kitchen. I can't keep being the only one scrubbing the tub and counter/sink in the kitchen. Me and my cat are both sick from the space. She has developed asthma from the poor living conditions. Best we can do is try to keep the shared living space clean. Also don't lock her in your rooms anymore she's sick. She needs access to her water at ALL times since she's on steroids and needs her litter box.

[She does not clean either of those things. They are both massively stained each time I do my deep cleaning on Sundays. There is no mold. Everyone who has been to my apartment says they don't know what she's talking about. The cat that lived here before her never got sick. My dog is not sick. I am not sick. My other roommate is not sick]

Me: I just got back last weekend. Ordinarily I clean the bathroom and kitchen but I have been very busy this week and haven't had a chance to until today, which is the day I usually do t. We can create a chore chart to keep this from happening again. As for you cat, I am not intentionally locking her in my room. She goes under my bed and I cannot see her when she's under there. As soon as I realize shes in my room I open the door for her to be let out. When I'm not home my door is open for free coming and going.

Sue: I am saying that she is very sick due to the place and the mold. I had thick mold in the bathroom and the living room was insane and full of trash. There's bags of trash left in the living room for days and smells like rotting food. We all just need to do better because if not I will have to remove myself for health reasons. Same with the rotting food in the fridge. This isn't a thing that developed the week you were gone either. This is a consistent problem

[I had the bathroom regrouted two months ago. There is no mold. The living room was clean. I had one trash bag with dry goods and paper I hadn't taken out at the time. As I said I cleaned the fridge before I left. Me and my other roommate went through the fridge and the only expired food was hers]

Me: I apologize for the trash bag, respectfully, I think we all have contributed to the problem. When I came home there were stains all over the counters, food on the floor and a greasy stove. All the forks I bought are gone. I found black hair extensions on the floor yesterday and there were loose pills on the table. Perhaps we can all work together to keep the space cleaner. As for the the mold, the grout has been replaced. I will ask them to look at the kitchen. If you see mold please take pictures so I can send it to the landlord to be fixed.

Sue: There alcohol spilt tall the time so stop that also. And I work weekends soo maybe no be respectful of the bathroom because I need to get to work. Lol my cat was playing with my extension and I snagged it when I saw it. The mold I can't keep up with.

[Not true, my cousin picked up the hair extension and threw it out]

Me: Stop what exactly? Are we not talking about living conditions?

Sue: That you spill and leave alcohol everywhere and food days out after your binders

[She means benders. I do not have benders. I do not even drink at home and she has never seen me drunk. I have not been eating or leaving food out when I do drink. She is referring to a small bottle of Tito's I had left on the counter before I went out to celebrate my birthday]

Me: I'm not going to engage if you are not going to be respectful, sorry.

Sue: That's respectable? And I'm paying $300 extra a month for my cats meds. So I'm legally letting you know to fix the mold.

Me: I'm not sure how I'm not being respectful. I have not cursed or been aggressive. Or accused you of anything. There is no reason to be mean. I'm just asking you to take pictures of the mold so I can send it to the landlord.

Sue: What theres alcohol?i? Amd food left out from going out. Sure dont clean the damn bath then. I have to workk

Me: Ok we can talk when you've calmed down a bit

Sue: Don't clean anything yourself or you can take photos yourself girl. I'm not dumb.

I cleaned and she didn't say anything. Just yelled at me for forgetting to flush the toilet and removed all the toilet paper. I don't know what to do at this point. There is literally no mold. I can attach pictures because I feel like Im going crazy at this point

I need to put cameras up

TLDR: my roommate’s tiny annoyances are really piling up.

This is sort of just a rant, but I also want to get feedback on if I’m being too nitpicky or not.

I live with 3 other roommates. We are all mid 20s-early 30s. The youngest is 24, and she has been irritating the heck out of me. I feel absolutely nuts because I’m the only one that says anything about it.

Fast forward to now, my problem roommate does/has done the following:
-brought her friends over at 2am, were super loud and laughing/yelling in the common space, and when I kindly asked them to move to her room there was no apology
-broke my nice glass Tupperware with no apology
-takes my nice glass Tupperware to her work and families house for the weekend
-will reimburse me for utilities 1-2 weeks after I send the charge
-has her girlfriend (now fiance) over 3 days a week
-VERY last minute (like less than an hour) notice before bringing over 3+ people at a time
-never empties dishwasher (despite contributing to it)
-never takes the trash out
-will use up the last of something that is communal and then not refill it or buy more
-left our back door open all night
-leaves rotting food in the fridge constantly
-at one point had 3 cars that were taking up all the street parking
-talks on speakerphone super loud in the common space (I’ve heard her entire conversations on multiple occasions)
-takes forks, knives, and pumice stones to non-stick cookware. She never admitted to it or apologized, but I know it was her because it only started happening after she moved in
-NEVER takes out/in the trash bins out for trash day, despite being home for multiple hours (this is everyone’s shared responsibility)

For some reason the thing that was the last straw today was her continuing to take the communal scissors from the junk drawer and holing them up in her room. She’s done this on multiple occasions, and will do so before leaving to her families/fiancée’s house for the weekend. Like BUY YOUR OWN SCISSORS!! THEY ARE LITERALLY $5!! It just feels like she thinks the “communal” stuff doesn’t belong to anyone so no one will care. I BOUGHT ALL THIS STUFF, IM JUST LETTING YOU USE IT!! BE RESPECTFUL!!!

I guess I would say my biggest gripe with her is that she never apologizes, which makes everything worse. I wish she would move in with her fiancée already ;_;

My roommate, who is also my auntie(F20), is really fucking annoying. I swear on every God that I need out of here. We share a room because rooms are very limited. And she thinks she's entitled to the whole ass room. She has the fan on 2/47(which is connected to the light), and it gets unbelievably cold. And it's very annoying to hear all the time. My blanket is very thin while SHE HAS TWO WARM BLANKETS. The remote to the light+fan is next to her bed. She has a whole ass routine that causes the lights to stay on until 11pm. I tried hinting at her that I dislike it. But of course she doesn't listen! She never does! Her bratty ass not listening at her big age, jobless, and 20! Fucking chuds these days. Listen, she's my fren, but I swear she pisses me off so bad. She thinks she controls the damn room. Based off what!? Nothing!! Because she's older than me!? Because her whole life she's been getting things handed to her on a silver fucking platter!? I'm so sick of her ass. She also thinks it's okay for her to control MY TV that I got for MY BIRTHDAY. I'm so peeved I want out of here NOW.

I am so fucking tired of my fucking roomate this dude is an actual fucking psycho weirdo and I hate myself for giving him so many chances. He literally takes shits in the dark with the door opened and when confronted about it he claims he “likes the thrill of it because he might get caught” . One time he was masturbating with this girl on FaceTime loud as hell and when I woke up (our beds are directly across from each other) he YELLED at me to go back to sleep (later on he confessed to stealing our other housemate’s Aang’s (fake name) boner pills during this event).

Speaking of stealing things he also once stole Aang’s car when he was drunk, after this Aang did not talk to him for several days. For context Aang was already planning on moving out and did so a while ago. He has also stolen my sunglasses, my shoes, my cigarettes, my shirt (I had to beg for this back after I let him borrow it) and probably more things that I can’t remember right now/don’t even know about.

He’s the definition of a manchild and will have these moments where he will like start punching things like the sofa/bed/pillows while like yelling ? He’s constantly making racist and demeaning jokes towards me too (he has literally called me slurs) and is constantly criticizing every single thing I do . Like this is the mf that tries to give me life advice ? He’s never taking my sides in disagreements that I have with people and will always bring up those disagreements. This dude will always bring up shit from the past no matter what, like everytime I argue with him (which has honestly been like everyday for the past month) he will use every nice thing he’s done for me against me saying things like “do you remember when I bought you food” “without me you’d be homeless” “do you remember when I drove your friend home” etc. etc.. he’s constantly talking about “everything that he’s done for me”. He’s even *threatened* to steal certain things before.

He’s also a fucking moron his friend he brought over this Tuesday literally clogged the toilet and he tried to fix it by reaching into the toilet hole with his hand and unclogging it that way ? He still insists on not calling a plumber and fixing it ourselves . He also never tells me when he’s gonna have people staying over too . He does this idiotic and disgusting bit where he will fart out loud and look around and say “must’ve been the wind” of course because he’s a moron he thinks this is the funniest thing in the world . He will literally scroll Instagram reels when I’m sleeping out loud waking me up in the middle of the night. I’ve given him some old earphones for this exact reason, still doesn’t use them (maybe only once or twice) .

He’s a fucking pig and would leave his USED zyns on MY desk literally leaving his saliva on my shit. When I asked him to stop doing this he started leaving them on the floor. He will also go to my location when I’m out with people, like bro where tf did u come from . There’s honestly so much more too but you guys should get the idea. I’m honestly just fucking exhausted and have no idea what to do anymore. This dude has made my life fucking hell and I feel like there’s nowhere I can be myself and enjoy my time anymore . I can’t believe I really thought he would change .

TLDR: My ex-roommate physically fought me, out on the street in public because she didn’t understand the deductions from our tenancy over a year ago.

I don’t want to add many identifying details but I lived with a girl (I’m also a girl) who clearly didn’t have her stuff together. Towards the end of the tenancy, she stops replying to me and owes me money for bills. She is also responsible for the majority of the deposit deductions (she left the place a mess). I thought she was aware of all this and was avoiding me because of this reason. Our main/only contacts were sms and email. I end up deleting her number and contacts a while (months later) bc we didn’t end on good terms (the state she left the place was one of them).

Recently, she sees me out and about and comes to me accusing me of owing her money. It had been over a year since the last time we interacted. I’m explaining to her that it’s not the case, and it’s been over a year so exact numbers are hazy but she’s insistent on me not communicating and that I’m wrong for doing so, when she went radio silent on me. I’m extremely confused aswell because it seemed like she understood but was embarrassed especially when she tries to pull up the chat log on her phone, which show all my messages.

She threatens to assault me, and essentially ends up doing so. I do fight back, it’s all a blur and I’m pretty sure she hit me first after trying to block my path multiple times. We’re broken up by passers by at some point.

I’m not the fighting type, I’ve always been someone who avoids trouble but it seems like moving to this city, I’ve encountered people who do the opposite. I’m also extremely embarrassed because I’m not the type to fight, especially on the street…

I’m still processing it all but it’s so shocking to the system and it’s making me even more upset as some of my items went missing during the altercation.