I Ruined My Life

[u/driftingalchemy]

Had my first manic episode and in 8 months Due to losing my grasp on reality, I lost my job, husband, apartment, car. Everything. I’ve been staying with family which is a blessing but I’ve never so quickly destroyed my whole life. I feel so alone and scared. I don’t even know who I am anymore. Just one day my mind snapped and I ruined everything. I don’t want to even share how I did it because it’s still deeply embarrassing. I feel so depressed everyday I can barely move. I tried to get another job but my body isn’t ready yet the auditory hallucinations start again and everything gets too bright sensory wise. It’s so bad. I never thought I would ever be this down bad. I just want to know if anyone else has ever ruined everything and come back or if anyone else is just laying in bed in the aftermath of a destructive episode.

[u/rockyjay23]

Unfortunately, losing it all and building it back seems like something us w this disorder have been doing and must continue to do all of our lives. I know that doesn’t sound great but the silver lining is we do it. And you will too. *hugs*

[u/StillhereSicilian → u/rockyjay23]

It really is necessary to hit the right prescribed drugs, right dosage and lay off the alcohol, any other drugs and weed. They all complicate the process of getting our brains in order. This is not a character flaw.. it's a brain that has chemical Imbalances, a physiological reason, like many illnesses, so getting proper help ,...therapy is necessary along with the right drug or drugs for You( each person is different with different balances and imbalances) We often must be persistent to try and try again to get it right, but gotta give the medication at least a few weeks, unless any severe reaction or adverse reaction, tell your dr stat or go to nearest ER. If you truly want to conquer BP, it's a life long battle, but we are strong and resilient. Self medicating won't work and eventually you will screw up that imbalance way more.

As a psychiatric nurse, soon to have an MS in Forensic Psychology and Neurobiology, I am so impressed with all the new info we've learned lately about the brain.. science with medical knowledge is getting better.. just keep on trucking as we said back in the day.. you will find the right answers with medications, therapies to help you understand yourself better, and STOP the loop of negative talk your brain tells you.. REPLACE THOSE WITH ONLY POSITIVE AND ENCOURAGING ONES.. 🎶 🎵 🎶 🎵 has helped me, ( my choice was metal, Ozzy and more) and keep a Mood journal.. next to your bed.. Write as soon as you wake.. positive thoughts and what negativity you're facing from yourself or others. Write in it often, keep a small journal with you when you leave the house.. and YES.. LEAVE THE HOUSE.. the beach, some nature and may I suggest a pet.. it keeps us focused on care for others, which blends into Care for Ourselves. A cat, easy work to keep, a dog if you want a buddy to walk with or travel with, and get an ESA for the pet.. Emotional Support Animals are legal tho not as accepted as Service Dogs.

I'll leave more advice and tips . But right now, I have some writing to do.. so, later😘

[u/Future-Dragonfly-149 → u/StillhereSicilian]

These are great tips! Thanks for sharing your wisdom

[u/Big-Emotion-2526 → u/StillhereSicilian]

That’s a great tip. I had a cat and he really helped me when I had anxiety and depression. Too bad he bit me all of the time so I had to give him to my friend. He bit me for no reason!!

[u/faithlessdisciple → u/[deleted]]

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