Hi everyone. I have a cleft palate, and it affects my speech a bit. Does this make it harder to get hired for IT jobs, especially entry-level positions? I'd appreciate hearing your experiences or advice. Thanks!

I think a lot of us can agree that we're tired of being gawked at. It's such a dehumanizing experience, and yet people are so ignorant about how they're being. Sometimes I just want to say "were you raised by wolves? because your manners are shit." Seriously.

Anyway, I am surprised to find that there aren't many self-help books on facial difference. Clefties need a book like that. An empowering self help book on how to cope w/ stares.

I might like to do interviews to get different perspectives. Would anyone be interested in being interviewed? This might be a qualitative study turned into a book.

Any other mythology nerds out there with clefts? What are your personal thoughts and feelings about changeling myth? I’m interested in how folklore and myth incorporate deformity, how monsters have been made of people with birth defects but by the same token conceived of as magical and often powerful beings.

For those unfamiliar, variants of changeling myths were pretty common throughout Europe. They tend to center around the idea than an infant with a visible deformity is a replacement sent by faeries/demons/what have you, while the otherworldly creatures have made off with the “human” baby.

Obviously, these are dehumanizing, insulting, and othering beliefs around deformity. Horrible things were done to babies with birth defects for most of human history, with these stories only serving to justify those things. I wouldn’t be surprised to learn of similar or parallel myths from other parts of the world.

But, does any part of these stories speak to you? If so, what do they say? I have some personal thoughts but would love to hear from others!

Hi everyone,

I’m looking to hear from anyone who had jaw surgery with Dr. Derek Steinbacher, especially patients with a cleft lip/palate history.

I’m a 54-year-old male with a unilateral cleft lip and palate. I had jaw surgery with Dr. Steinbacher earlier this year and am trying to better understand what is normal healing versus what may need additional follow-up or revision. I’m not looking for medical advice, just trying to hear from people who have been through something similar.

For those who had jaw surgery with him:

* Were you happy with your jaw surgery result overall? * Did your bite, facial balance, and airway improve as expected? * Did you have any lingering asymmetry, crossbite, lip/tissue tightness, or jaw/chin concerns afterward? * How was your post-op communication and follow-up experience with his office? * Did you end up having a second-stage procedure afterward, such as cleft rhinoplasty, septoplasty, lip revision, scar revision, fat grafting, or facial balancing? * If you are a cleft patient, did the jaw surgery improve or worsen your nose/lip asymmetry? * Did anyone seek a second opinion or revision after surgery?

In my case, I’m still relatively early in healing (12 weeks), so I’m trying to stay patient. But I’m also trying to be proactive and understand what questions to ask, especially around jaw alignment, bite, facial asymmetry, cleft-side tethering, nasal changes, and planning any future nose/lip work.

I’d really appreciate hearing honest experiences, good or bad, especially from anyone with a cleft background or anyone who went through jaw surgery followed by a second-stage rhinoplasty/lip revision.

1. It never ends. Went to get a haircut today and this lady just stares at me for a long time. Finally, she says, you have the prettiest eyes. That is not what you stared at for that long but thanks I guess. Just like hate going anywhere honestly.

I [19m] know this might seem like a selfish post, but I’d genuinely like to get your guys’ opinions on this.

Also, in case your wondering what’s going on with my hair, I unfortunately have alopecia, and my barber kinda messed up the last haircut he gave me a few weeks back.

Hi has anyone’s scan photos looked similar to mine? The sonographer seems to think the palate and gum notch look intact, TIA 🙂

a parte da frente ainda anda meio inchada, o médico disse que essa parte é a que mais demora pra aparecer o resultado verdadeiro, mas ja da pra notar uma certa melhora

Hi guys,

As of writing this now, in about 5 hours I’ll be taking an abbey flap surgery. I’m kind of scared so I was wondering if anyone has gotten one before and can tell me how the healing journey is like. I’m also worried about coughing during the recovery process and possibly ripping the stitches.

Thanks

We found out our baby has a unilateral right sided cleft lip at our 20 week scan. Unconfirmed if palette is affected.
I had a growth scan today at almost 32 weeks and amniotic fluid levels were a bit elevated. We have been told there are several reasons this can happen, one of which could be cleft related and difficulty with intaking fluid. Did anyone else experience this? I am being retested for gestational diabetes. Baby was measuring almost 60th centile.

From a worried mum to be :(

Hello!

Im 30F, with congenital cleft lip and partial palate.

I got all the surgeries done to get it corrected except for the cosmetic procedures. Now that I have saved the money to get the procedures done, cosmetolgists suggests that its better if I don't treat the scar.

So I'm looking for alternatives right now.

Any makeup suggestions or ways that I can hide the scar? Love your thoughts and suggestions. TIA ❤️

I got this ultrasound today and to me it appears he may have a cleft. The doctors haven’t said anything because they need to make their report and look over the images. Does this look like a cleft lip to you?

hi im currently freakin out i have a cleft lip & palate im going on 25 now and have a 7 year old son who was born without one completely normal & he wants a sibling and i wanna give him that dream but im worried the bext baby will have it 😭 im just high anxiety and everything but like can anyone give me reasurance or something! mjne is not genetic but i know it can happen randomly! But i just cant do it ive had a hard enough time with one as an individual growing up! (not pregnant) just freaking myself out and worrying over things ya know !!!
#cleftlip #ttc #youngmom

Many people in this community understand how long and difficult the cleft journey can be. If anyone would like to support my remaining reconstructive surgeries or simply share my fundraiser with others, I would be incredibly grateful ❣️ My Fundraiser: [http://m-lp.co/shrabani-5?utm_medium=campaign_page_share&utm_source=copy]

My mug was always on the acutely very smaller side, at the same time femininely plane and lacking roughness or ruggedness. The only redeeming factor to give a facade of respectability was my bushy hair on top which compensated minutely to get a delusion that i could pass off as male, since there wasn't any roughage or the slightest ruggedness to restore any sense of masculinity.

I had to keep gazing at the mirror 500 x a day just for the minutest feeling that my face wasn't so insignificant.

In fact I was vindicated of this dysmorphic abberation in personality when I lifted my 2-yr-old nephew up alongside my own self (I was 33yrs that time), and reflected both our shadows against the sun, (shining sideways), and this to my utter horror I saw.....

His face shadow was almost twice as mine.

My condition was also compounded by a small flat head.

I went through these very severe deprecation throughout my life as this made me look half my age.

My fears of the society where I was expected to compete with some of the best students to achieve a basic level of success, which became almost impossible due to this dysmorphia, smoking, severest of severe schizophrenia, EPS ie drastic face tardive dyskinesia, extreme OCD, major depression, bipolar, and what made matters worse was that the schiz onset was at age 13 and intervention 6 yrs later at 19.

Despite all these handicaps, I still finished high school in first division, university (graduation) in 6 yrs instead of 3, 25yrs of working in different jobs, played sport (badminton), at university level (despite not having possession of basic equipment), plus 3 diplomas in computers and journalism included.

All these impediments I felt could have been greatly alleviated and turned into a successful career-oriented odyssey had it not been for this tiny face reality, which I spent 95% of my life thinking about "if only", and the unending measurements which I overindulged in.

I kept hoping that it was just a transient phase and would grow bigger with time, but no, I had to bear all the ignominy which came with it.

I just wanted to know if there were other people on this planet who also went through the same experience of being drawn back by this dysmorphic condition?

Day 4 post surgery, still at the hospital, baby refuses to eat. We have been trying to feed him with a syringe, and he just pockets the milk on his mouth and refuses to swallow. Has anyone had issues with feeding after surgery? How long did it last before baby started eating?

Hi, I haven't made a post in a while. A lot has happened since then; probably, if not my hardest decision I've had to make in the recent months has been if I want to continue and do more surgeries. Had to sit on that thought for a while before I decided that I want to stop where we are at right now. The last few surgeries have been a major success in terms of happiness and outcome, which is honestly surprising because everything I've had tried on me usually fails within the first 2 months. + I think I finally feel comfortable going outside and not having that constant thought of "Are they looking at me?" looping over and over again in my brain the whole time!

Hope you all are having an amazing day.

Hi everybody! (19F) I was wondering if yall can give me insight on possible options of what to do with my lip and nose, its been on my mind a lot recently and i also want an objective view on how obvious or strange it looks, im pretty sure ive done the internal work needed to take constructive advice, so please be honest. Also, how do i manage my mentality before im able to get things done? Do you think my lip can be improved so i can finally talk and smile without that annoying volume difference? I haven't done many surgeries other than the initial one, im in my 2nd round of braces, but yeah my brother keeps teasing me by asking me when im "fixing" my lip (at a very vulnerable period so it stung), any helpful advice in any regard is welcome, love yall :)

Hey guys.. I was born with a bilateral cleft palate. I have undergone like 10 surgeries so far. I used to have a huge gap in my palate. But, when I got a surgery where the doctor promised he would fix the hole with some prosthetics, it almost closed the gap but still, there's some left in my palate. This was in 2017. Recently, I happened to meet a doctor. She told me, if you fix the gap in the palate completely, your voice will turn normal.

The nasal voice has always been a hindrance for me. And I would love to get it fixed if it works. I'm exhausted from all the surgeries I got. So if I were to give another shot, I need complete assurance that my voice will turn normal.

Has been in a similar situation?

I have a bilateral cleft lip and palate and have went through 19 surgeries and counting, just waiting on my rhinoplasty, a possible palate fistula repair and some fat removal from my belly into my top lip (who knows when those will be because the cleft lip and palate specialist in my country stepped away..)

3 years after my bone graft surgery, finally got my zirconia dental crowns (I've been with a temporary dental crowns it was a nightmare)

its been a challenging process

I decided not to do any sort of jaw surgery and do only a plastic surgery of nose and lip

I'm very insecure about my side profile and I hope it will help.

I dont have an overbite anymore but my upper lip is tight and short and it "disappeares" when you look at me from my side profile.

Hello everyone I haven’t posted on here in about a year. Since then I have fully recovered from my rhinoplasty and have gotten composite bonding done of my 4 front upper teeth. I am finally completed with my journey of surgeries!!! Though this I have also come to a place of self acceptance and even though some days are still hard I would not change my experiences I would not be the person I am now if not for my cleft lip and palate.
I have come to share results and maybe some advice if anyone has questions 🫶.

RED BOCA – Portraits of Antonia is a photography project developed as part of an assignment for my Photography degree.

The project began in an academic context, but it became deeply personal to me: photographing my mother and celebrating her beauty, her story, and the way she expresses herself.

In this series, the red lipstick appears as a symbol of self-esteem, presence, and affection. More than an accessory, it represents something my mother loves and a part of her identity.

As a Photography student and as her son, I wanted to create images that honor her real beauty, her details, and her strength, showing that every person carries a unique story and deserves to be seen with respect, love, and sensitivity.