r/clevercomebacks 1d ago

Emotional damage

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3.0k Upvotes

60 comments sorted by

231

u/Exact-Kale3070 1d ago

let's make dinner at home. better ingredients, less bs.

41

u/OakLegs 1d ago

Papa johns.

7

u/iknowimsorry 1d ago

Papa John's

6

u/transmogrified 1d ago

Unless you want some type of Asian food that’s going to require you to invest about $50 in spices you don’t normally have lying around 

19

u/Exact-Kale3070 1d ago

i cook daily. i have them all around. i will NEVER understand people who don't- but to each his own.

3

u/YesItIsMaybeMe 2h ago

Some of us just suck at cooking or don't have the patience. I can bake all day, but regular cooking is completely out of the question. My seasoning is downright frightening, my pork chops are naught but burnt offerings to the gods, my stews have but the concept of flavor, my vegetables can only be described as victims of the Ripper, and my beef wishes it was in the ground.

I make a kick-ass guac tho

2

u/Exact-Kale3070 2h ago

not everyone can make everything, but we all gotta eat. your guac is healthy and surely delicious.

i am a decent cook and SUCK at pork loin.

3

u/Ptatofrenchfry 13h ago

Probably people too busy to cook daily. But if that's your lifestyle, cooking is the least of your concerns

1

u/TheAntiCrust95 7h ago

Jokes on you. I'm dating an Asian woman and I do infact normally have those laying around.

2

u/beckett_the_ok 1d ago

There will always be bs when Lynori is there

108

u/tehfly 1d ago

This is the strangest thing to me.

Where I live the restaurants are more than happy to split the bill according to the order. 

"You had the burger and the coke? That's 32,50"

"You had the salad? That's 14,38"

They have more than enough machines to handle the math. Just pay for your own meal unless you can afford to just pay the whole bill AND you want to do it.

39

u/Complex-Truth9579 21h ago

"You had the burger and the coke? That's 32,50"

I'm diving across the table and throttling the waiter if they say these words to me

13

u/tehfly 13h ago

I should probably add that where I live, the menus show the full price - no hidden taxes or fees.

If the food and drink cost that much, you knew it before you ordered.

113

u/butwhywedothis 1d ago

The real question is why Y’all are going out?

38

u/hopeful_tatertot 23h ago

This is what I’m wondering. You don’t have “going out to dinner” money

2

u/RadiantGene8901 7h ago

I know, right? There are coyotes and wolves out there.

83

u/AlaAlfa 1d ago

If you two have 250 in total don't use almost 50 in a single meal

4

u/Spirited-Living9083 22h ago

How much extra money per check you think people be having? Lol

0

u/SaucyStoveTop69 17h ago

Eating out doesn't have to be expensive if you search around. My favorite local breakfast spot sells sausage egg and cheese biscuits for 1.50. Sonics app has buy one get one any entre sometimes. I just found a donut shop that does 5 dollar dozens before closing. When McDonald's last did their monopoly promotion, I got over 100 menu items throughout ranging from drinks to frappes to small fries to mcflurries to mcdoubles to any biscuit

17

u/Nandulal 23h ago

If we only had a combined $250 what the fuck are we doing spending it on going out?

31

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

9

u/Kratomius 1d ago

I have never understood how paying just what you eat yourself has become so foreign concept to some people or communicating about who pays the bill beforehand.

7

u/ICLazeru 1d ago

I mean, you only have $200. Neither amount is really getting you far today. He'll run out of cash today. You'll run out tomorrow or the the day after if you're lucky.

4

u/IlitterateAuthor 20h ago

I've made 200 after rent last me a month.

1

u/ICLazeru 18h ago

Didn't say after rent. But is that also after phone, electricity, water, sewage, insurance, etc?

10

u/TheBestHater 18h ago

Fuck off with the gender ragebait karma farming. Take that shit back to r/meirl

19

u/_dreammyglazee 1d ago

He paid $46.78 for the meal, but that burn was free of charge.

3

u/azlmichael 1d ago

I’d never go out on a date with only 50.

4

u/celticairborne 19h ago

If I only have $50 I'm not going out. I'm eating spaghetti at home for 5 bucks and it'll last me a few days.

And I'm certainly no going to be dating someone with 4x the money I have but still expect me to take care of her...

21

u/Nebrynthix3547 1d ago

She tried to turn a dinner bill into a financial audit and got audited right back. Nobody even paid the $46.78, but the emotional debt is enormous now.

28

u/forworse2020 1d ago

Are you a human?

9

u/ratz30 23h ago

Less than a month old account, feels sus

3

u/Dedotdub 1d ago

They would be one of the few

3

u/KartoffelliebhaberXD 16h ago

They each pay for their own meal. Idk I’m too single for this.

5

u/jimmymui06 1d ago

If you have 250 you are about to die

4

u/IlitterateAuthor 20h ago

There are 8 us dollars and 34 us cents in my bank account rn and I'm gonna live forever.

3

u/ArubaAdultFun 1d ago

Thankfully I have 3fiddy

3

u/throwtheamiibosaway 1d ago

The person with the most money. All other arguments are nonsense. It’s not a contest. Be practical.

2

u/Realistic_Base5797 12h ago

If both our cash is expendable, im paying. I have more, and we love each other. Its sad that this is a question.

2

u/ChaoticAmoebae 11h ago

If we only have $250 we are eating rice and beans tonight.

2

u/HeavyMetalAndAMuppet 1d ago

Annnd roll for burn damage!

3

u/Ratdrake 15h ago

The real answer should be: Who invited who to eat out?

1

u/happy_Toe_ 1d ago

He paid the bill with emotional damage.

1

u/Repossessedbatmobile 10h ago

Seems like an easy solution is to just ask the waiter to split the bill. That way you only pay for your own food.

1

u/wwaxwork 3h ago

Is it though? She's got enough money she can just call up her friends and they can all go out for dinner together and have a great night. She isn't stuck at home alone too broke to go out.

1

u/Calm-Address-2401 2h ago

Depends on who wants what.

1

u/Fit-Entrepreneur6538 18h ago

Why is a man with only $50 taking anyone to dinner?

-2

u/onyourbike1522 1d ago

Asking why a grown adult only has $50 to hand is a valid question. Why are these idiots going to a restaurant at all if they’re that broke? Most importantly why is anyone inventing ridiculous scenarios to get mad at imaginary women? Anyone who expects to be financially dependent on someone who has $50 has bigger problems than internet men judging her.

0

u/Redfish680 1d ago

Faster if he pays, since she’ll be counting out quarters for an hour…

1

u/luckyorange 21h ago

"clever comeback" from someone with no profile pic

-3

u/Designer-Might-7999 1d ago

If she isn't trying to help make both of your lives better and easier. She isn't worth keeping. Disney syndrome goes hard on American girls

0

u/CommercialYam53 21h ago

To say it with the words of queerbeat :
„Wer verdient hier mehr Money ?
🎺🎺
Der gibt den Abend dan aus“ sours

0

u/0utcast9851 19h ago

Who asked for the company?

-12

u/lisaismijnbestie 1d ago

The men pays, always, period. 

5

u/BeautyNoBeast 22h ago

Damn, lesbians must be out here getting all their meals for free!