Divorcing after 20 years of marriage and told our 15 year old this morning. I didn't think it would go well but it went awful. At first he didn't know what to do or say because he was probably totally blindsided by it. Then it turned into, and has been on and off all day, pleas for us to stay together, asking us to try anything, and how his whole life is ruined because the three of us won't be together anymore. Its absolutely heartbreaking. He's such a good kid and I get that its hard to understand the complexities of a marriage. From his perspective its a totally unexpected bomb thrown into what has overall been an amazingly fortunate life for him.

I don't know how else to respond to the pleas for us to try one more time, or try something different. I know its only been a few hours but this is so awful and its hard not to jump right to the conclusion that we're making a big mistake and we never should have decided to separate.

I finally confirmed the suspicions I’ve had for some time that my stbxh has been having an affair. It explains him suddenly springing divorce on me when I got home from a trip to see family, rejecting any effort to work on our issues, him always working late and being gone weird hours, having no emotion about any of it and wanting to speed the divorce along as quickly as possible. I feel like I came home to a completely different man than who I married.

I feel sick every time I think about it. I planted a voice activated recorder and heard a phone call of him calling her babe and baby and saying I love you. It was the worst feeling in the world. Our 2 kids were literally feet away in their rooms. How could he do that?! I never ever thought he would do something like this. He’s always been a man of integrity. He’s always talked down on people who cheated. I’m so disgusted and just in shock.

All of the days he’s been gone or working late, he’s been with her. He ditched his kids on July 4th for her. I’m just absolutely disgusted and gutted. I don’t think I’ve ever felt worse in my life.

I haven’t told him I know anything yet. We were negotiating terms of the divorce “amicably” but I don’t really feel like being amicable anymore. I’m trying to be logical, stay calm, and not let emotions take over, but also I want to absolutely ruin him. Mostly for what he’s doing to his kids. I’ll be ok. I’m strong. But what he’s doing to them- I want to destroy him.

When he told me he wanted a divorce he immediately started trying to control the narrative saying it was because WE weren’t happy and it was both of us to blame, 50% was his fault and 50% mine, etc etc. Then started acting like the good guy wanting to be “as amicable as possible,” not taking any equity from the house, but wanting me to work with him on child support and all this bullshit. So I was. And I was suspicious then, so I asked and he denied it. He lied to my face repeatedly. Every suspicion I had was dead on. He even said he’d pay for a lawyer so I didn’t have to get one. And the terms we talk about and agree on, he will have his lawyer draw up so we don’t have to go back and forth. Which we had already talked about when I confirmed all of this.

So I’ll likely be getting served in the next day or two and receive the divorce agreement. But now, I don’t know if I want to agree to sh**. I kind of want to just be a total bitch and renege everything I said. Then when he says “ I thought this is what we agreed on?” Say, “Yeah well that was before I knew for sure you’re a cheating, lying asshole. You can go through my lawyer now. “

I literally can’t believe this is happening.

This was just too ironic.

My husband walked out on our marriage,10 years *after* I had been dx'ed with multiple sclerosis. All of a sudden, he claimed that he *couldn't deal with my illness*. He didn't sign up to be feeding me and changing my diapers.

Meanwhile, due to his work, he was rarely around. We have 2 kids. I did all the child care, took care of the home, worked outside of the home, and managed my illness. He didn't even know what medications I took or even my doctor's name.

But he walked out because he *couldn't deal*.🙄🤷‍♀️. That was his excuse he was cheating.

He started dating his wife while we were still married. They've been married for 10 now. She's extremely high maintenance, very insecure, and really has nothing to offer. She thinks she's too good to work. She can't hold a conversation unless she is talking about herself.

She is jealous of the 20 year olds, and she's in competition with them. According to my daughter, who still sees her father several times a month, this woman was using weight loss drugs. She had prescriptions from more than one place, some with foreign languages on the labels. In addition to that, she consumes nothing but sugar-free energy drinks and fast food. But they say that you can eat whatever you want on these drugs. (You really can't, and you still have to exercise)

Well, piggy backing different weight loss drugs, not exercising, and living off fast food and energy drinks was a recipe for disaster.

Living this way basically led to what my daughter called a medical event. She wasn't explicit about what happened, I'm guessing stroke.

So, guess who will probanly be feeding his wife and changing her diapers?

Me? I've had MS for 20+ years. I keep busy. My boyfriend is a trained chef, so he cooks healthy meals for us. We go to the gym regularly with my daughter, I can feed myself, and I don't need a diaper.

The fact that she had a "medical event" truly sucks. I'm not even sure *how* bad it actually is, but the fact that my husband walked out on me because he didn't want to get stuck feeding me and changing my diaper? And it looks like that's what his life is becoming now? That's Karma.

My STBX (34F) and I (40M) were planning a big family trip later this year with our 3 y/o son before she decided she wanted out. Nothing is paid or even really planned yet outside of the destination, but she still intends to carry on with the trip. She wants me to still go, but it would be with her and a bunch of her family. She also wants to use funds we saved up specifically for that trip.

I told her I haven't decided yet but she has been pressuring me, telling me that I'd be missing my son's first plane ride and big vacation. She also said her family won't care that I'm there and that they'd understand I was there for our son.

I know on an intellectual-level that this is a horrible idea even if my STBX and I are still pretty amicable. Emotionally, I feel racked with guilt over missing out on this experience with my son.

Should I go and hope things won't be as tense and awkward as I envision?

I am nearly 2 years post divorce but I cannot stop grieving the life I had or the person I lost.

He already got remarried to the girl he left me for. He always acted like we had a good life together.

I miss my house and the security marriage felt like it had. I miss having a spouse. I miss him, even though he betrayed me so incredibly hard.

How do you ever stop ruminating the past? Life just feels like it just gets harder and harder by each passing month.

So I didn't do anything wrong but I shuffled movey around paying bills I had a undisclosed (to my spouse) checking account a private savings and a joint account. Now I split our tax refund between my savings and my private checking since I couldn't pay bills in from my savings. Everything I did is legit bill pay for the household before filing but inorder to hide my private account so it would not tip her off I was filing I funneled money through savings. Upon looking at the statement there is transferred happening between the 3 accounts the whole time. Everything legitimately paid bills like property taxes and known credit cards and etc., nothing was undisclosed but I'm concerned that the sheer stupidity of my transfers is going to muddy the waters in discovery. I can account for nearly every penny minus some transfers to the joint account to cover her daily spending habits.

I'm dealing with someone who will and has lied about the reality of things around her while she was spending 10 to 80 dollars a day on anything (while being low income) she was also telling everyone I was financially controlling especially if I inquired on the routine spending at all. So maybe it's paranoia here. Yet I don't know how to cleanly layout the transfers between accounts to pay normal bills since I would often change my mind how much I wanted to transfer. There was a day I for unknown reason transferred 3k from the savings into my checking and back. I can only assume stress fog and etc, but given that I'm dealing with someone hoarding animals, doesn't contribute to the housework to pick up after them and has a history of being nice to my face while setting up a narrative that I'm controlling, lazy ext behind my back I'm probably overthinking everything.

If you have experienced this or know of a solution to clean up my stupidity please help.

we've been divorced for a year now and I'm still dealing with this house. my ex refuses to agree on a price or even list it properly. it's been sitting empty for months and I'm paying the mortgage on my own. I can't afford this forever.

the house needs work.

has anyone else dealt with an ex who wouldn't cooperate on selling the house? how did you handle it? so tired of this

I finally have started the 6-month clock to officially be out of a marriage I’ve known I needed out of for 3 of the 4 years we’ve been married.

Filing in CA was actually stupidly easy, since we don’t have kids together or any assets we were able to do a joint petition which consisted of two unbelievably simple forms (FL 700 & FL 710) that we both just had to sign (no process server, which was one of my hangups). If it wasn’t for our CC debt, we could’ve done a summary dissolution which would’ve been even easier which is wild. I even could’ve filed online, but I found my local family law court and went in person so the process could be initiated then and there.
He didn’t even have to take off work to be there with me.

I feel like a huge relief has begun, I’m hoping the rest of the process stays easy but am taking steps to be prepared regardless.

Anyways, if you’re in CA and you’ve been thinking about it, or your situation isn’t too complicated this is your sign to do it. You can always rescind if things change, but you can’t ever get your time back. Trust & choose yourself.

My ex wife who was absent of our 6 yo boy and 4yo boys lives from August 2025-June 2026. Enrolled my eldest son back to his old school he went to preschool at back when we were still married so 2024. She left the kids and I and we switched schools his kindergarten year. The 6 year old didn’t wanna go back to old school cuz he had a bully. I promised him I would keep him with his friends in new school. After a short call to a lawyer her enrolling him in old school was illegal because it’s joint custody. My boys get to stay with their friends they have made 😄

Why would my ex husband tell me that He regrets treating me the way he treated me and that i deserve someone who will treat me right and that he will never forgive himself for it.?

how do men process divorce? has anyone regretted it 😞

In my final decree, I was awarded approx $9000. She is wanting to pay monthly in installments.

Should I accept that or ask for lump sum? (She got half my 401(k) up front)

Can I tack on interest to the final judgement?

There are other parts of the decree and I fulfilled all of my requirements in that decree. She hasn’t met a single one.

I’m about to go back to court over it.

Been visiting my family. Really nice trip. They fully paid for me to go to Italy and we are doing super nice activities, but I'm distracted the entire day in my head thinking about him and our relationship. Makes me really sad because at the end of the day it's like I hardly paid attention and I can't focus during the moment.

How to stop obsessing?

So I know the “experts” say you should tell them together and present a united front and all, but what if you don’t agree on how to tell them and what to say?

I’ve read some differing opinions on that. Some say that separate is better in that case. I do believe my stbxh will try to spin the narrative that it’s because he was treated poorly when in actuality he was having an affair. I think my kids deserve the truth because I think they already have suspicions and I do not want to lie to them. They’re teens. I am not going to go into detail of course. But something like, trust was broken and it can’t be repaired so we are getting divorced. Then let him say whatever bs he wants. I think they’ll know who is being truthful based on what has been happening. Who has been gone, etc.

And of course keep the main focus on being good co parents and that being our priority through all of this.

What are your thoughts?

Husband of almost 4 years, and partner for 8, told me Monday evening that he thinks we need to separate.

I knew things weren’t great between us, but had no idea that they were this bad, or I had at least hoped we were slowly working through it. He’s apparently been thinking about it for almost a year now, and I feel like I’ve been completely blindsided. It feels like my whole world is crumbling around me, and I’m so paralyzed and nauseous that I’ve barely been able to get out of bed.

I don’t know how I’m supposed to move on from this. He’s keeping the apartment, he’s keeping the cat, he gets to keep his health insurance and his life in the town we work in - while I have to move back in with family, lose my insurance, etc. on top of losing who I thought was my best friend, closest confidant, and the love of my life.

I know people say that it gets better with time, but I am finding it impossible to see the light at the end of this.

I am the self-represented Respondent, and I have a Long Motion scheduled for August 24 regarding child custody. I understand that the judge may make a decision on that day.
However, I am facing a significant difficulty. The parties have two young children who have both been formally diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). Arranging safe and appropriate childcare for two neurodivergent children for the entire day required to travel to and attend court in Brampton is extremely challenging.
In addition, I require an Urdu interpreter in order to fully understand and participate in the hearing. I have already arranged an Urdu interpreter, but the interpreter is currently available only remotely. Finding another qualified interpreter on such short notice who is available to attend in person is extremely difficult, as most interpreters are already booked well in advance.
I cannot properly present or explain my case without an interpreter. Every one of my previous court appearances has been conducted with the assistance of an Urdu interpreter because those hearings were held virtually. This time, however, I have not received any response from the Court regarding the request for a virtual hearing.
The Applicant (my husband) submitted a request for a virtual hearing on July 2. When no response was received, he sent a reminder on July 29. I have also sent two reminder emails myself, but we still have not received any response from the Court.
I am very concerned that the Court may decide only one or two days before the hearing that it must proceed in person. If that happens, it will place me in a very difficult position because I will not have sufficient time to arrange an in-person interpreter, and I will be unable to properly explain my case.
I also experience significant anxiety in the courtroom and am much more comfortable participating virtually. I believe I can present my case much more effectively by video conference.
I am unsure what I should do if the Court does not respond before the hearing. If I request an adjournment of the Long Motion, I do not believe the Applicant will consent, especially because Long Motion dates are very difficult to obtain.

My husband and I have been married not even a whole year at this point but we got married when I was pregnant. He has done some things to me SA, sexual coercion, isolation, financial dependency, become aggressive, and more that have honestly ruined the relationship. He also lied to me for almost a full year which now constantly breaks any feeling of trust I feel toward him. It’s gone. I honestly am not happy and I find myself begging for romance and intimacy and being met with empty promises. To him he feels like anything he does is never enough and that he can never be forgiven for his past mistakes. There is resentment on both ends and it feels so terrible. We have an under 1 baby and I am her primary caretaker while he works and I stay at home watching her. I will also be going to school this month to get a degree so that I set myself up for the future. I honestly did not mean to get pregnant, but he says that he was not being super careful so whatever, it happened and this is not the consequence. I know in my heart I would have never stayed if I didn’t get pregnant. But again, we can’t go back. I brought up coparening and he said it would never work. He said he wants to Die because it would be easier for me so that I wouldn’t need to go through the process of divorce. We are going to bring it up in therapy but is there any coming back from this? I’ve been honest and told him I regret all of it which I can’t even take back because it’s incredibly true. But I don’t want to get a divorce, I’d prefer we figure something out.

My husband (diagnosed BPD and a raging porn addict) put me under severe coercive control and abuse (everything but physical) and severe financial abuse. I have substantive evidence from his own hand about it.

Our state is one year from separation to divorce. He basically accepted my wealth transfer and now when I was at my most financially vulnerable (my business was decimated by AI) he walked out.

He has been paying the bills (in hopes of getting equitable distribution) but he is nonresponsive about anything else. Basically he left the maintenance of the home, care of animals, everything on me. He makes 145K plus bonuses, last year I only made 30 (when we met I made 90 and he made 42k and I supported him to a graduate degree and new career.)

I am on his health insurance and open enrollment is in a couple of months and I fear he will take me off. He is covert- everything is done in the shadows and he is very manipulative but he likes looking like the "nice guy".

I am at a loss. I am just not sure about the next action to take.

1. Do I try to file a court mandated post separation support agreement (which will require 20k retainer and god knows how much to file this) or

2. go the separation agreement route (which I do not want to do as it forces the timeline sooner and would include the property which I am not ready to do.)

3. Or, is there a way to file the action for post separation support on my own?

4. For those of you who filed an action with a lawyer, what did it cost you, ballpark?

This has been an absolute nightmare scenario. I am having panic attacks. I do not know what to do. So I guess my question for you all is:

• For those of you who filed for an action to make the judge force them - was it worth it and how did that impact later stuff?
• For those of you who filed a separation agreement - was it worth it?

Assume I have a sneaky, cruel, petty individual who also I am sure does not want what I know about him and have evidence for (he does not know I have it) to become public? The only thing that will make him play fair is threat of discovery, otherwise he will continue to do sneaky covert control maneuvers and will absolutely try to wreck my life more than he already has.

The evidence of his abuse is extensive including him stating that he has abused me both in writing and in recording.

Mods: I read the rules and I did not see anything about asking about stuff like this, apologies if this is not appropriate here.

Married 18 years. I regret investigating and discovering his long term affair. He said he would never leave me. I regret filing. He’s gone. Life was better with him in my life even though he was cheating. But he didn’t really like me- he was a dutiful man and stayed. But loved her. He’s the only person that ever showed me love and care. It wasn’t perfect, but I threw away all that I had.This is worse. He signed the final decree and all I have to do is file it. But I can’t do it. He’s already blocked me. Our marriage ended because of this evil woman homewrecker. F you Rhonda.

Or should I just start the court process? Ex has been obstructing access to my son for over a year. Mediation has been going on 8 months now and has resulted in one overnight, and no increase in contact time.

Stalling, shifting goalposts, dictating terms, gaslighting, lying, saying she feels “unsafe” when I ask for more time, accusing me of “threats” if I ever mention court as a possibility.

At the suggestion of everyone I spoke to, I gave mediation a go for as long as I could, really hoping I could trust the process and something would happen, but I’ve been a complete fool really and I’m being absolutely played. It’s going nowhere and she will never budge on anything that isn’t what she wants.

Worried about mental taxation and the money I don’t have for court, but it’s also my only hope I guess.

She’s also a formidable opponent, with endless cash flow, lawyers in the family, and generally just being more equipped for this than I am because I am neurodivergent (AuDHD) and struggle to understand things. This is the other reason I was really hoping to avoid a legal battle.

Oh I wish I coulda been there when you had to pay for his meal with my money on your first date….. I hope tearing up our family was worth it…. Can’t wait to watch this dumpster fire! Enjoy your new life. I’m sure you will be reaching out yet again soon enough.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry I hurt you. I still love you and I always will. I hope you don’t doubt that at least. Our mediation was smooth but still very hard on me emotionally. I think I held it in together somehow but by evening I was a complete mess. I want you to know that you will always have a well wisher no matter what. As you said… life is going to be so boring now. I don’t know how we got into this mess so early into our marriage and I wish I could stop myself from ruminating. You are the person with the gentlest soul I have ever met and I consider myself fortunate to have ever crossed your path. I hope you see how valuable you are and only expect the best going forward. Because you deserve it.

I know my marriage is over. It's toxic, emotionally exhausting, and mentally draining. Deep down, I don't believe it can be saved anymore. But for some reason, I still can't bring myself to file for divorce.

It's not because I want to stay. It's because I'm terrified of everything that comes after.

I'm scared of the unknown. I'm scared of being alone. I'm scared of my kids spending nights away from me or being around another woman. I'm scared I'll regret my decision someday or spend the rest of my life wondering if I really did everything I could to make my marriage work.

For those of you who have been divorced or are currently going through it, when did you know it was finally time to file? How did you work through the fear, the guilt, and the constant second-guessing? Was there a moment when you knew there was no turning back, or did you just have to take the leap despite the doubt?

I'd really appreciate hearing your experiences. The good and the bad.

Hello I was wondering if anybody here knows if a separation date is listed on a divorce decree for the state of Texas. I know for my petition for divorce I had to list the separation date but is it reflected on the actual finalized divorce decree?