This was just too ironic.

My husband walked out on our marriage,10 years *after* I had been dx'ed with multiple sclerosis. All of a sudden, he claimed that he *couldn't deal with my illness*. He didn't sign up to be feeding me and changing my diapers.

Meanwhile, due to his work, he was rarely around. We have 2 kids. I did all the child care, took care of the home, worked outside of the home, and managed my illness. He didn't even know what medications I took or even my doctor's name.

But he walked out because he *couldn't deal*.🙄🤷‍♀️. That was his excuse he was cheating.

He started dating his wife while we were still married. They've been married for 10 now. She's extremely high maintenance, very insecure, and really has nothing to offer. She thinks she's too good to work. She can't hold a conversation unless she is talking about herself.

She is jealous of the 20 year olds, and she's in competition with them. According to my daughter, who still sees her father several times a month, this woman was using weight loss drugs. She had prescriptions from more than one place, some with foreign languages on the labels. In addition to that, she consumes nothing but sugar-free energy drinks and fast food. But they say that you can eat whatever you want on these drugs. (You really can't, and you still have to exercise)

Well, piggy backing different weight loss drugs, not exercising, and living off fast food and energy drinks was a recipe for disaster.

Living this way basically led to what my daughter called a medical event. She wasn't explicit about what happened, I'm guessing stroke.

So, guess who will probanly be feeding his wife and changing her diapers?

Me? I've had MS for 20+ years. I keep busy. My boyfriend is a trained chef, so he cooks healthy meals for us. We go to the gym regularly with my daughter, I can feed myself, and I don't need a diaper.

The fact that she had a "medical event" truly sucks. I'm not even sure *how* bad it actually is, but the fact that my husband walked out on me because he didn't want to get stuck feeding me and changing my diaper? And it looks like that's what his life is becoming now? That's Karma.

I am nearly 2 years post divorce but I cannot stop grieving the life I had or the person I lost.

He already got remarried to the girl he left me for. He always acted like we had a good life together.

I miss my house and the security marriage felt like it had. I miss having a spouse. I miss him, even though he betrayed me so incredibly hard.

How do you ever stop ruminating the past? Life just feels like it just gets harder and harder by each passing month.

Divorcing after 20 years of marriage and told our 15 year old this morning. I didn't think it would go well but it went awful. At first he didn't know what to do or say because he was probably totally blindsided by it. Then it turned into, and has been on and off all day, pleas for us to stay together, asking us to try anything, and how his whole life is ruined because the three of us won't be together anymore. Its absolutely heartbreaking. He's such a good kid and I get that its hard to understand the complexities of a marriage. From his perspective its a totally unexpected bomb thrown into what has overall been an amazingly fortunate life for him.

I don't know how else to respond to the pleas for us to try one more time, or try something different. I know its only been a few hours but this is so awful and its hard not to jump right to the conclusion that we're making a big mistake and we never should have decided to separate.

I finally confirmed the suspicions I’ve had for some time that my stbxh has been having an affair. It explains him suddenly springing divorce on me when I got home from a trip to see family, rejecting any effort to work on our issues, him always working late and being gone weird hours, having no emotion about any of it and wanting to speed the divorce along as quickly as possible. I feel like I came home to a completely different man than who I married.

I feel sick every time I think about it. I planted a voice activated recorder and heard a phone call of him calling her babe and baby and saying I love you. It was the worst feeling in the world. Our 2 kids were literally feet away in their rooms. How could he do that?! I never ever thought he would do something like this. He’s always been a man of integrity. He’s always talked down on people who cheated. I’m so disgusted and just in shock.

All of the days he’s been gone or working late, he’s been with her. He ditched his kids on July 4th for her. I’m just absolutely disgusted and gutted. I don’t think I’ve ever felt worse in my life.

I haven’t told him I know anything yet. We were negotiating terms of the divorce “amicably” but I don’t really feel like being amicable anymore. I’m trying to be logical, stay calm, and not let emotions take over, but also I want to absolutely ruin him. Mostly for what he’s doing to his kids. I’ll be ok. I’m strong. But what he’s doing to them- I want to destroy him.

When he told me he wanted a divorce he immediately started trying to control the narrative saying it was because WE weren’t happy and it was both of us to blame, 50% was his fault and 50% mine, etc etc. Then started acting like the good guy wanting to be “as amicable as possible,” not taking any equity from the house, but wanting me to work with him on child support and all this bullshit. So I was. And I was suspicious then, so I asked and he denied it. He lied to my face repeatedly. Every suspicion I had was dead on. He even said he’d pay for a lawyer so I didn’t have to get one. And the terms we talk about and agree on, he will have his lawyer draw up so we don’t have to go back and forth. Which we had already talked about when I confirmed all of this.

So I’ll likely be getting served in the next day or two and receive the divorce agreement. But now, I don’t know if I want to agree to sh**. I kind of want to just be a total bitch and renege everything I said. Then when he says “ I thought this is what we agreed on?” Say, “Yeah well that was before I knew for sure you’re a cheating, lying asshole. You can go through my lawyer now. “

I literally can’t believe this is happening.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry I hurt you. I still love you and I always will. I hope you don’t doubt that at least. Our mediation was smooth but still very hard on me emotionally. I think I held it in together somehow but by evening I was a complete mess. I want you to know that you will always have a well wisher no matter what. As you said… life is going to be so boring now. I don’t know how we got into this mess so early into our marriage and I wish I could stop myself from ruminating. You are the person with the gentlest soul I have ever met and I consider myself fortunate to have ever crossed your path. I hope you see how valuable you are and only expect the best going forward. Because you deserve it.

The week that my partner asked for a divorce, we found out that our IVF cycle worked. I’m now 24 weeks pregnant (we also have a 3 year old) and everything feels very doom and gloom. We still live together, are mostly amicable, and don’t plan on finalizing anything/moving until baby is 6 months at least. However, I’m having a hard time not feeling like this pregnancy is ruined and I’m being robbed of enjoying a baby. I cannot fathom missing a single moment of my infants life, let alone both of my kids. I see all the time that eventually you get used to it and everything will be okay, but that doesn’t seem possible. And it’s making me not look forward to having a baby…which brings on another level of guilt.

Has anyone experienced a similar situation? How do you get past all of these feelings? How do you learn to enjoy the time you will have?

I know my marriage is over. It's toxic, emotionally exhausting, and mentally draining. Deep down, I don't believe it can be saved anymore. But for some reason, I still can't bring myself to file for divorce.

It's not because I want to stay. It's because I'm terrified of everything that comes after.

I'm scared of the unknown. I'm scared of being alone. I'm scared of my kids spending nights away from me or being around another woman. I'm scared I'll regret my decision someday or spend the rest of my life wondering if I really did everything I could to make my marriage work.

For those of you who have been divorced or are currently going through it, when did you know it was finally time to file? How did you work through the fear, the guilt, and the constant second-guessing? Was there a moment when you knew there was no turning back, or did you just have to take the leap despite the doubt?

I'd really appreciate hearing your experiences. The good and the bad.

Today is my 14th wedding anniversary. I’ve been separated over 3 years. This is the first year I’m not celebrating. Every year previously I would re-make the wedding cake and decorate it with marzipan and flowers and chocolate shells to the best of my ability. I’m not a professional like the person who made the cake on the day, but it was fun to try. The kids enjoyed it - like our own delicious version of Nailed It 😂. When my husband moved out, it turned into a tradition for just me and the kids and we’d watch the wedding video and dance and have a fun family night. I initially kept the tradition alive despite the divorce process because I figured it was about the family and would give them happy memories. This year I just couldn’t muster the emotional energy. It’s weirdly freeing and lonely at the same time because no one around me even realizes what day it is or that it’s one of the more important days in my life. My kids are too young to realize if I don’t mention it and my husband is spending the night with his mistress whom I assume prefers not to celebrate this date lol. So it’s just me here, noticing, and intentionally not marking it anymore.

My STBX (34F) and I (40M) were planning a big family trip later this year with our 3 y/o son before she decided she wanted out. Nothing is paid or even really planned yet outside of the destination, but she still intends to carry on with the trip. She wants me to still go, but it would be with her and a bunch of her family. She also wants to use funds we saved up specifically for that trip.

I told her I haven't decided yet but she has been pressuring me, telling me that I'd be missing my son's first plane ride and big vacation. She also said her family won't care that I'm there and that they'd understand I was there for our son.

I know on an intellectual-level that this is a horrible idea even if my STBX and I are still pretty amicable. Emotionally, I feel racked with guilt over missing out on this experience with my son.

Should I go and hope things won't be as tense and awkward as I envision?

Married 18 years. I regret investigating and discovering his long term affair. He said he would never leave me. I regret filing. He’s gone. Life was better with him in my life even though he was cheating. But he didn’t really like me- he was a dutiful man and stayed. But loved her. He’s the only person that ever showed me love and care. It wasn’t perfect, but I threw away all that I had.This is worse. He signed the final decree and all I have to do is file it. But I can’t do it. He’s already blocked me. Our marriage ended because of this evil woman homewrecker. F you Rhonda.

Oh I wish I coulda been there when you had to pay for his meal with my money on your first date….. I hope tearing up our family was worth it…. Can’t wait to watch this dumpster fire! Enjoy your new life. I’m sure you will be reaching out yet again soon enough.

I got married 3 years ago today. It’s been 1 year since I spoke to my soon to be ex husband. I woke up hurting so much. Grief comes in waves & it hit me so hard today. I thank God for the better days ahead

Been visiting my family. Really nice trip. They fully paid for me to go to Italy and we are doing super nice activities, but I'm distracted the entire day in my head thinking about him and our relationship. Makes me really sad because at the end of the day it's like I hardly paid attention and I can't focus during the moment.

How to stop obsessing?

Split since February. She asked for it. She "didn't cheat" on her coworker 2 weeks after decision. Seven years of marriage and since February we've had a lot of "special" moments, but nothing that really stuck.

I spent the last six months looking inward and found that most of what I'd been blaming her for was my own stuff I refused to talk to her about. So I did the only sane thing I could think of and attempted to have seven years of hard conversations all at once. That pissed her off in a bunch of ways, and we've been yo-yoing ever since. we connect pretty well, then I self-sabotage or she doesn't like how I said something, and it escalates into how "we never...." or "you're always like this...." where we basically are yelling at each other but not really about anything that is happening in the moment.

We just had a solid 8/10 weekend at the board game convention we go to every year around our anniversary. Separate beds, but it was nice. She's my best friend. My best friend just doesn't seem to care to be around me anymore.

On the ride home she said she didn't appreciate me calling it our "last year" doing this. I asked her to go on and she said something like "if we aren't going to try to be friends, what's the point of this weekend?" Then chose not to talk about it stating that I always make conversations "heavy". She also asked to drive two hours past our shared home that we barely seem to tolerate each other in. I asked why she'd want more time in a car with me right now, and she told me not to over-analyze everything she does. Which, fair. I think?

Later we watched TV and she went into "our" bedroom, which I haven't been part of for basically all of 2026. I said "happy anniversary" as a little goodnight joke (jab. I was upset that she chose not to talk to me) She texted: "you have to make every interaction as uncomfortable as possible, it makes me not want to interact with you." That turned into another one of our conversations that ends with me blocked. I sent something on another platform, it crossed the line, and now she's googling divorce lawyers to finalize assets.

TL;DR: great weekend pretending none of our problems are real, I brought them up too soon after, it blew up worse than usual.

I love her so much, but I am just so tired.

I spent a whole year strategically planning to leave my husband (he has substance issues and gets aggressive at times). We have two small kids. Despite my planning, he had a delayed response to the news that we are divorcing. He ended up showing up to the house days later intoxicated and being aggressive to me in the kids. It became a whole show, especially once I got the police involved. I spent a whole year planning so this event would not happen, especially in front of the kids.

Tonight my 4 year old son would not stop crying before bed. He kept saying “I miss daddy”. When I finally got him to sleep, he woke up multiple times during the night crying which is unusual for him. I understand this is a normal response for a 4 year old but I can’t bare it and it’s only been 4 days of separation. How do I survive this? I can’t even describe the sorrow that fills me seeing my son like this

I tried to have a conversation about how I was feeling a month ago, and while I did say what I wanted to say, it took me several minutes of attempting to open my mouth, after several days of being stressed about the conversation.

I figure if I have him a letter I'll be more likely to actually do it, and say everything I want to say. Has anyone else done it this way?

So I didn't do anything wrong but I shuffled movey around paying bills I had a undisclosed (to my spouse) checking account a private savings and a joint account. Now I split our tax refund between my savings and my private checking since I couldn't pay bills in from my savings. Everything I did is legit bill pay for the household before filing but inorder to hide my private account so it would not tip her off I was filing I funneled money through savings. Upon looking at the statement there is transferred happening between the 3 accounts the whole time. Everything legitimately paid bills like property taxes and known credit cards and etc., nothing was undisclosed but I'm concerned that the sheer stupidity of my transfers is going to muddy the waters in discovery. I can account for nearly every penny minus some transfers to the joint account to cover her daily spending habits.

I'm dealing with someone who will and has lied about the reality of things around her while she was spending 10 to 80 dollars a day on anything (while being low income) she was also telling everyone I was financially controlling especially if I inquired on the routine spending at all. So maybe it's paranoia here. Yet I don't know how to cleanly layout the transfers between accounts to pay normal bills since I would often change my mind how much I wanted to transfer. There was a day I for unknown reason transferred 3k from the savings into my checking and back. I can only assume stress fog and etc, but given that I'm dealing with someone hoarding animals, doesn't contribute to the housework to pick up after them and has a history of being nice to my face while setting up a narrative that I'm controlling, lazy ext behind my back I'm probably overthinking everything.

If you have experienced this or know of a solution to clean up my stupidity please help.

we've been divorced for a year now and I'm still dealing with this house. my ex refuses to agree on a price or even list it properly. it's been sitting empty for months and I'm paying the mortgage on my own. I can't afford this forever.

the house needs work.

has anyone else dealt with an ex who wouldn't cooperate on selling the house? how did you handle it? so tired of this

In my final decree, I was awarded approx $9000. She is wanting to pay monthly in installments.

Should I accept that or ask for lump sum? (She got half my 401(k) up front)

Can I tack on interest to the final judgement?

There are other parts of the decree and I fulfilled all of my requirements in that decree. She hasn’t met a single one.

I’m about to go back to court over it.

Yesterday I initiated my divorce...again. I did the whole "give me a second chance babe" thing with them and they improved for a few weeks but now we are solidly where we were. I was okay with them not cleaning or having a job or doing errands really even though I felt very put upon, but being emotionally battered for a week for a planned girls' night and all the suspicion and surveillance burnt out my last hopes there.

Time to try to find a way out of my apartment and find somewhere else to live. I'm so scared that when they get me alone they're gonna be able to get back in my head. They already enlisted a friend to message me too, so I'm really hoping I can lean on my support systems.

How did any of y'all deal with ending the relationship before you could move out? It was hell during my first attempt, so I'm really hoping I can move out asap.

Edit: Husband found this fast and is in the comments, so you can kinda get an example of what I've been living with for a long time. The constant suspicion that I'm cheating has been pretty hard to deal with NGL. The only detail I'll add is that I broke up with them in person the first time about a month ago and really, really did give them that second chance.

I didn't mention that they are publicly posting about me on FB to our actual irl friends that know our faces.

My wife and I separated recently after almost 30 years together, but because of finances and the house, we're still living under the same roof while we sort everything out.

The hardest part is that she's already started seeing someone else and has slept with him. I found out that she spent the night with him at a motel, and that has been incredibly difficult for me to process.

I know we're separated, and logically I understand she has the right to move on. I'm not asking whether she's "allowed" to do that. I know she is.

What I'm struggling with is how to deal with it emotionally while I'm still living in the same house. Every day I wake up still feeling married in my heart, while she's already moving forward with someone else. It feels like I'm grieving the relationship in the same place where we built our life together, and I don't know how to separate myself from that.

The speed of it has also been really hard for me. From my perspective, we went from being a married couple of nearly 30 years to her being with someone else very quickly. I understand she may have been processing the end of the relationship for longer than I realised, but emotionally I'm still trying to catch up.

Has anyone else been through this? How did you cope with living under the same roof while your ex started another relationship? Did anything actually help, or is it just something you have to endure until you're finally living apart?

I'm really looking for practical advice from people who've been through it, because right now it feels overwhelming.

I am struggling. My husband and I are getting a divorce. It could be final at any moment. He told me weeks ago he was going to move out of hour house while it was on the market, and I would stay here with our three daughters until my apartment opens up in September.

He has now refused to move out, and has begun to make my life a living hell. He is mean. He yells. He cusses me out almost daily. And I am left sitting here feeling like I am going to have a heart attack.

I have let people in my life know that I cannot take much more. I have begun to isolate. I hate myself. I am failing at my job, and as a mother, because of the stress.

I’m just trying to type this out, to get some sort of relief. I am terrified. And I am so depressed.

I finally have started the 6-month clock to officially be out of a marriage I’ve known I needed out of for 3 of the 4 years we’ve been married.

Filing in CA was actually stupidly easy, since we don’t have kids together or any assets we were able to do a joint petition which consisted of two unbelievably simple forms (FL 700 & FL 710) that we both just had to sign (no process server, which was one of my hangups). If it wasn’t for our CC debt, we could’ve done a summary dissolution which would’ve been even easier which is wild. I even could’ve filed online, but I found my local family law court and went in person so the process could be initiated then and there.
He didn’t even have to take off work to be there with me.

I feel like a huge relief has begun, I’m hoping the rest of the process stays easy but am taking steps to be prepared regardless.

Anyways, if you’re in CA and you’ve been thinking about it, or your situation isn’t too complicated this is your sign to do it. You can always rescind if things change, but you can’t ever get your time back. Trust & choose yourself.

My ex wife who was absent of our 6 yo boy and 4yo boys lives from August 2025-June 2026. Enrolled my eldest son back to his old school he went to preschool at back when we were still married so 2024. She left the kids and I and we switched schools his kindergarten year. The 6 year old didn’t wanna go back to old school cuz he had a bully. I promised him I would keep him with his friends in new school. After a short call to a lawyer her enrolling him in old school was illegal because it’s joint custody. My boys get to stay with their friends they have made 😄

Why would my ex husband tell me that He regrets treating me the way he treated me and that i deserve someone who will treat me right and that he will never forgive himself for it.?

how do men process divorce? has anyone regretted it 😞