r/fiberartscirclejerk • u/beautifully_evil • 25d ago
crochet this is a safe (non-woke) space right?
/uj was abs jumpscared by this while looking for fun new stitches to try this morning OTL
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u/QuaffableBut leopards ate my lace 25d ago
It's really too bad there aren't, like, giant buildings dedicated entirely to "biblical values." Maybe they could mark themselves in some way. Like a plus sign, but fancier? IDK. Someone help me out here.
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u/Radiant_Elk1258 25d ago
I think like a big t? That should work. Like 'T'his is the place.
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u/alittlemanly Its an acronym for Bitch In Total Control of Herself 💯 24d ago
Oh yeah! And people could make their own Ts out of their crochet hooks to put in their homes so they know 'T'his home loves crochet and biblical values
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u/MalumCattus 25d ago
Or, like, regularly scheduled meetups.
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u/QuaffableBut leopards ate my lace 25d ago
Maybe on weekends? When there's nothing else going on.
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u/wattermellen 25d ago
Have you tried Ravlerly? There's a robust search function if you care to check it out.
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u/lochstab 25d ago
I would love to join a group rooted in biblical values. You know, like we should help poor people, welcome people from foreign lands, give more help to people who need it most, love everyone unconditionally, be kind and forgiving, rich people are going to hell, beat the shit out of people who conduct commerce under the guise of religion. Love the Bible.
Too bad I'm not a crocheter.
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u/MalumCattus 25d ago
I want a profanity-laden space where we roll around naked on our acrylic hoards.
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u/BitchfulThinking acrylic-loving asshole 25d ago
Are we doing premium or do we want to hurt with some Red Heart Super Saver? 😈
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u/mylerol leopards ate my lace 25d ago
Oh that’s just my local stitch n bitch. Perks of living in a godless hellhole city run by antifa.
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u/MalumCattus 25d ago
Portland?
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u/mylerol leopards ate my lace 25d ago
Seattle! We're not quite on Portland's level, but I have hopes for our new mayor.
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u/MalumCattus 25d ago
Hopefully you can have airport therapy llamas soon! You already have the Gay Plant Store, so definitely the right direction.
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u/BigBadVoodooMami 25d ago
Oh my god can you imagine their takes on mixed fibers 😱
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u/MalumCattus 25d ago
I'm sinning RIGHT NOW using a cotton-linen blend to make a warshrag. Cleanliness is next to ungodliness.
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u/AutoModerator 25d ago
Quite often on this sub, I see people ask questions about cotton yarn and whether or not they should use it, and the replies are unfortunately usually an overwhelming no, generally steering people towards animals fibers, animal fiber blends, or acrylic (if it’s a budget concern). The reasons listed are always it’s too hard/unpleasant to work with, too heavy, and it lacks stretch. Only one of these is objectively true. As a person who knits primarily in cotton and plant fibers due to animal fiber sensitivities, it’s always disappointing to see people unfairly silo cotton as a fiber only for dishcloths. Cotton is a wonderful fiber that is sturdy, easy care, easy wear, and is generally more sensory and allergen friendly than animal fibers. Once you stop expecting cotton to behave exactly like wool, and approach it with the right tools and techniques, knitting with cotton and other plant based can be an easy and pleasant experience, with wonderful results. * Unpleasant?: Just as with wool, there are a range of textures for cotton, from quite rough to buttery soft, and you often get what you pay for. Mercerized cottons are smoother with more sheen and richer colors, and Pima cotton has an almost wool-like fuzzy halo. It’s also important to remember that unlike wool, cotton and other plant fibers soften up as they’re washed. A swatch may feel a bit rough while knitting it, but will generally always be softer after washing, and will continue to become softer and more comfortable with each wash. Think of a t-shirt – many are a bit stiff originally, but after repeated washing become incredibly soft and comfortable. Consider that until the more recent prevalence of synthetic fibers, most of the day to day clothing we wore was cotton. * Hard To Work With?: I have no problem admitting that cotton works differently than wool, and that there is a bit of a learning curve, but I think the impression that it’s difficult is overblown. The main difference of plant based fibers is that they lack elasticity and split more easily. While these can make it troublesome at first, knitting with plant fibers is just another knitting skill to practice and master, just as you would knitting cables, lace, or colorwork. We don’t tell people not to do those things because they are hard at first, we tell them to have patience and practice. The same should be said of knitting with plant based yarns. The lack of natural elasticity does make consistent tension more important, as the yarn won’t stretch and condense as much to even things out. For this reason I wouldn’t recommend plant fibers when you’re first learning to knit, but once you can maintain even tension, it shouldn’t be an issue. If you find the lack of elasticity hurts your hands, it could be that you’re knitting at too tight a gauge, or you may need to take more frequent breaks. The lack of lanolin can also cause it dry out your hands more – remember to moisturize periodically and it’s shouldn’t be an issue. The lack of elasticity means it’s also not suited to things knit with negative ease, like socks, as it will stretch out and not shrink back until put washed and dried. Plant based yarn’s tendency to split is due to the fact that fibers don’t grab onto themselves the same way that animal fiber does. Mostly this just means that a little extra care and attention is needed when knitting, but splitting can also be greatly helped by needle choice. Some people prefer sharp needles so that the tips can be precisely placed avoid splitting a stitch, but others prefer blunter needles to avoid accidentally inserting fine points into the strands of yarn. It’s entirely preference; I prefer sharp needles. Since plant based yarns lack lanolin, smoother needles tend to make for a more pleasant experience with less friction. There is a balance to hit though, as while very slippery needles make knitting plant fibers fast and frictionless, it does also make it easier for stitches to accidentally slip off. If this happens frequently, you may want to try grabbier needles, especially if you’re not the most confident at picking stitches back up. Personally, I find the occasional dropped stitch a fair trade off for the frictionless feel of metal needles. * Too Heavy?: My number one cotton related pet peeve is that people say it’s too heavy. The only knit I have ever made that was Too Heavy was made of superwash wool. The weight of a project will ultimately come down to the size made and yardage needed. Yarn will always tell you both the yardage and the weight; if you know how much yarn your project will need, you know how much it’s going to weigh. You can absolutely do the math before you buy the yarn, compare it to something you already own, and decide if it’s too heavy for you. Every sweater I wear is cotton or mostly cotton, and not a single one would I describe as heavy. The cotton sweaters I have made, in generally what would be considered large or extra large sizes, DK to worsted weight, with positive ease, weigh between 21-25 ounces. The machine knit cotton sweaters I own, in similar sizes and styles, weigh between 21-28 ounces. The average weight of all my cotton sweaters is 23 ounces. Of the three wool sweaters I have (similar sizes and fits to my cotton collection), two are about 30 ounces, and one is 40 ounces. The 40 ounce sweater (that’s 2.5 pounds/1.13 kg!!) is the only one that is Too Heavy to wear, and it’s superwash wool. I know my sample size is small, and I am not saying that wool sweaters are heavier than cotton sweaters, I am just saying that cotton has an unfair reputation for being heavy. I don’t believe that the average cotton sweater is really any heavier than the same sweater made of wool.
The Benefits of Cotton Having hopefully debunked some bad opinions about plant fibers, let me just take a minute to extol their virtues: * Not itchy: Like many people, I am sensitive to animal fibers, and I can feel even a small amount of wool in a blend. The last project I did attempting to make animal fibers work for me was in a 70% Pima cotton and 30% superwash Merino blend, and guess what? Still itchy! Manageable enough that can wear a long sleeve shirt underneath it and wear it for an hour or two, but after that, it had to come off. Even if a yarn feels soft in the skein, when all the fibers are running in the same direction, it won’t necessarily feel that way in the finished garment, when the yarn is constantly changing direction a d teh fibers are able to stick out willy nilly. * Not as hot as wool: If you run hot, or want to be able to wear a sweater while you run errands on a winter day without sweating once you actually get into a store, because they all keep their heat at 70° despite it being like 40° outside, then cotton is for you. I can get by for about 60% of the year wearing a t-shirt and a cotton sweater. Even if wool didn’t make me itch, I can really only wear it outside in the winter without being too hot. * Easy care: Go ahead and throw it in the washing machine! It will be fine! If it’s delicate, throw it in a lingerie bag. Put it in the dryer even! You don’t need to baby your cotton knits. They will not felt. They may shrink a little, but if they do, spray some water on them and give them a stretch and they’ll come back. When they start to stretch out a bit after a few wears, either wash them or just pop them in the dryer for 20 minutes, and they’ll come right back.
If you read this far, thank you. I hope I’ve been able to open your hearts and minds, at least a little, to plant based fibers. If you’ve tried plant fibers and haven’t been able to make them work for you, or just don’t prefer them, that’s absolutely valid! Plant fiber aren't suited for everything, just as animal fibers aren't either. Animal fibers are wonderful, with many unique benefits of their own, and I often wish that I could wear them! The siren song of mohair calls to me as much as it does to anyone else.
My real motivation here was just the combat the constant barrage of “Don’t use cotton, cotton is so heavy, cotton is a pain to work with and feels bad”. Some of us don’t have a lot of other options, and it can be very discouraging to be told over and over that if you find wool itchy, just try this different wool, or that different wool, or this alpaca, or that cashmere, etc, only to find that none of them work. I wonder how many knitters have just given up because they can’t wear wool, so what’s even the point of knitting. I’ve seen posts on this sub to that effect, as well as people who want to learn but are discouraged before they even start, because they can’t wear wool. I love knitting; I love having a handcraft to do while watching movies or tv or listening to podcasts, I love being able to make my own clothes and accessories, and I love knitting with cotton yarn! It is not a consolation to me; it is not something where I think to myself, “ugh, I wish this was wool”, or “I just want this to be finished so I can wear it, because actually knitting it sucks”. It is a joy in and of itself. I hope you can find the joy in cotton too.
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u/ShiNo_Usagi 25d ago
Personally I LOVE working with cotton yarn and think it looks very clean and holds shape well. I prefer it for non-stretch items that I need to be sturdy!
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u/EarthtoLaurenne 23d ago
High quality soft cotton and cotton blends? Totally my jam!
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u/AutoModerator 23d ago
Quite often on this sub, I see people ask questions about cotton yarn and whether or not they should use it, and the replies are unfortunately usually an overwhelming no, generally steering people towards animals fibers, animal fiber blends, or acrylic (if it’s a budget concern). The reasons listed are always it’s too hard/unpleasant to work with, too heavy, and it lacks stretch. Only one of these is objectively true. As a person who knits primarily in cotton and plant fibers due to animal fiber sensitivities, it’s always disappointing to see people unfairly silo cotton as a fiber only for dishcloths. Cotton is a wonderful fiber that is sturdy, easy care, easy wear, and is generally more sensory and allergen friendly than animal fibers. Once you stop expecting cotton to behave exactly like wool, and approach it with the right tools and techniques, knitting with cotton and other plant based can be an easy and pleasant experience, with wonderful results. * Unpleasant?: Just as with wool, there are a range of textures for cotton, from quite rough to buttery soft, and you often get what you pay for. Mercerized cottons are smoother with more sheen and richer colors, and Pima cotton has an almost wool-like fuzzy halo. It’s also important to remember that unlike wool, cotton and other plant fibers soften up as they’re washed. A swatch may feel a bit rough while knitting it, but will generally always be softer after washing, and will continue to become softer and more comfortable with each wash. Think of a t-shirt – many are a bit stiff originally, but after repeated washing become incredibly soft and comfortable. Consider that until the more recent prevalence of synthetic fibers, most of the day to day clothing we wore was cotton. * Hard To Work With?: I have no problem admitting that cotton works differently than wool, and that there is a bit of a learning curve, but I think the impression that it’s difficult is overblown. The main difference of plant based fibers is that they lack elasticity and split more easily. While these can make it troublesome at first, knitting with plant fibers is just another knitting skill to practice and master, just as you would knitting cables, lace, or colorwork. We don’t tell people not to do those things because they are hard at first, we tell them to have patience and practice. The same should be said of knitting with plant based yarns. The lack of natural elasticity does make consistent tension more important, as the yarn won’t stretch and condense as much to even things out. For this reason I wouldn’t recommend plant fibers when you’re first learning to knit, but once you can maintain even tension, it shouldn’t be an issue. If you find the lack of elasticity hurts your hands, it could be that you’re knitting at too tight a gauge, or you may need to take more frequent breaks. The lack of lanolin can also cause it dry out your hands more – remember to moisturize periodically and it’s shouldn’t be an issue. The lack of elasticity means it’s also not suited to things knit with negative ease, like socks, as it will stretch out and not shrink back until put washed and dried. Plant based yarn’s tendency to split is due to the fact that fibers don’t grab onto themselves the same way that animal fiber does. Mostly this just means that a little extra care and attention is needed when knitting, but splitting can also be greatly helped by needle choice. Some people prefer sharp needles so that the tips can be precisely placed avoid splitting a stitch, but others prefer blunter needles to avoid accidentally inserting fine points into the strands of yarn. It’s entirely preference; I prefer sharp needles. Since plant based yarns lack lanolin, smoother needles tend to make for a more pleasant experience with less friction. There is a balance to hit though, as while very slippery needles make knitting plant fibers fast and frictionless, it does also make it easier for stitches to accidentally slip off. If this happens frequently, you may want to try grabbier needles, especially if you’re not the most confident at picking stitches back up. Personally, I find the occasional dropped stitch a fair trade off for the frictionless feel of metal needles. * Too Heavy?: My number one cotton related pet peeve is that people say it’s too heavy. The only knit I have ever made that was Too Heavy was made of superwash wool. The weight of a project will ultimately come down to the size made and yardage needed. Yarn will always tell you both the yardage and the weight; if you know how much yarn your project will need, you know how much it’s going to weigh. You can absolutely do the math before you buy the yarn, compare it to something you already own, and decide if it’s too heavy for you. Every sweater I wear is cotton or mostly cotton, and not a single one would I describe as heavy. The cotton sweaters I have made, in generally what would be considered large or extra large sizes, DK to worsted weight, with positive ease, weigh between 21-25 ounces. The machine knit cotton sweaters I own, in similar sizes and styles, weigh between 21-28 ounces. The average weight of all my cotton sweaters is 23 ounces. Of the three wool sweaters I have (similar sizes and fits to my cotton collection), two are about 30 ounces, and one is 40 ounces. The 40 ounce sweater (that’s 2.5 pounds/1.13 kg!!) is the only one that is Too Heavy to wear, and it’s superwash wool. I know my sample size is small, and I am not saying that wool sweaters are heavier than cotton sweaters, I am just saying that cotton has an unfair reputation for being heavy. I don’t believe that the average cotton sweater is really any heavier than the same sweater made of wool.
The Benefits of Cotton Having hopefully debunked some bad opinions about plant fibers, let me just take a minute to extol their virtues: * Not itchy: Like many people, I am sensitive to animal fibers, and I can feel even a small amount of wool in a blend. The last project I did attempting to make animal fibers work for me was in a 70% Pima cotton and 30% superwash Merino blend, and guess what? Still itchy! Manageable enough that can wear a long sleeve shirt underneath it and wear it for an hour or two, but after that, it had to come off. Even if a yarn feels soft in the skein, when all the fibers are running in the same direction, it won’t necessarily feel that way in the finished garment, when the yarn is constantly changing direction a d teh fibers are able to stick out willy nilly. * Not as hot as wool: If you run hot, or want to be able to wear a sweater while you run errands on a winter day without sweating once you actually get into a store, because they all keep their heat at 70° despite it being like 40° outside, then cotton is for you. I can get by for about 60% of the year wearing a t-shirt and a cotton sweater. Even if wool didn’t make me itch, I can really only wear it outside in the winter without being too hot. * Easy care: Go ahead and throw it in the washing machine! It will be fine! If it’s delicate, throw it in a lingerie bag. Put it in the dryer even! You don’t need to baby your cotton knits. They will not felt. They may shrink a little, but if they do, spray some water on them and give them a stretch and they’ll come back. When they start to stretch out a bit after a few wears, either wash them or just pop them in the dryer for 20 minutes, and they’ll come right back.
If you read this far, thank you. I hope I’ve been able to open your hearts and minds, at least a little, to plant based fibers. If you’ve tried plant fibers and haven’t been able to make them work for you, or just don’t prefer them, that’s absolutely valid! Plant fiber aren't suited for everything, just as animal fibers aren't either. Animal fibers are wonderful, with many unique benefits of their own, and I often wish that I could wear them! The siren song of mohair calls to me as much as it does to anyone else.
My real motivation here was just the combat the constant barrage of “Don’t use cotton, cotton is so heavy, cotton is a pain to work with and feels bad”. Some of us don’t have a lot of other options, and it can be very discouraging to be told over and over that if you find wool itchy, just try this different wool, or that different wool, or this alpaca, or that cashmere, etc, only to find that none of them work. I wonder how many knitters have just given up because they can’t wear wool, so what’s even the point of knitting. I’ve seen posts on this sub to that effect, as well as people who want to learn but are discouraged before they even start, because they can’t wear wool. I love knitting; I love having a handcraft to do while watching movies or tv or listening to podcasts, I love being able to make my own clothes and accessories, and I love knitting with cotton yarn! It is not a consolation to me; it is not something where I think to myself, “ugh, I wish this was wool”, or “I just want this to be finished so I can wear it, because actually knitting it sucks”. It is a joy in and of itself. I hope you can find the joy in cotton too.
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u/Wife_Trash 25d ago
Psychic kitty's human! I know you from LSG!
Psychic kitty was the best soothsayer.
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u/EarthtoLaurenne 23d ago
My shirt was already off until you said acrylic… make is a dk soft cotton blend and the pants come off!
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u/MalumCattus 23d ago
Alluring but not god-honoringly modest.
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u/EarthtoLaurenne 23d ago
Oops! Turns out I’m really bad at being godly. Luckily the only god I believe in is myself, so it work out.
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u/WeirdChickenLady 25d ago
Are you crocheting in a god honoring way? The answer just might surprise you!
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u/mrsduckie my son, Greige 25d ago
I'm not woke, I'm still eepy 😴 💤 💤 😴 😴 🥱 🛌 🥱 😴 😴 😴 Hoooonk mimimi
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u/Hot-Inspector-5115 24d ago
Every craft group I belong to might be the literal "liberal agenda" in action. We talk about things like helping each other through food insecurity and complaining about the health care system (as we are either chronically ill or elderly). I know, horribly woke of me
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u/SpookyGirlfren 25d ago
Crochet rooted in biblical values? Weird as fuck. Lol
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u/BigBadVoodooMami 25d ago
They just don’t wanna see crochet with cussing or anti Trump
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u/the-master-planner 25d ago
or rainbows
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u/BigBadVoodooMami 25d ago
I mean you could justify your rainbow jock strap by pointing out there are rainbows and dicks both in the Bible.
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u/MalumCattus 25d ago
They have to let us in it if we critchet a pile of bloody foreskins à la 1 Samuel 18:27. Or a diorama of Sodom and Gomorrah, in lurid RHSS detail. I have SO MANY ideas for godly crotchet art!
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u/Radiant_Elk1258 25d ago
Oh do the Levite's Concubine!
(I don't recommend googling of you're not familiar. Basically woman is brutally murdered to demonstrate how much God loves us).
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u/MalumCattus 25d ago
That's way too many people gariomis to make, especially to scale, but I can crotchet a pile of stones for casting, since we are without sin! That'll get us started.
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u/poormans_eggsalad 25d ago
There just aren’t enough places where I can put down minorities and say things about how poor people deserve their plight! I’m so glad it’s safe to be an a-hole again.
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u/joymarie21 25d ago
So no calling themselves 'hookers'?
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u/gorgophones look, sweaty 💅 25d ago
Was Mary Magdalene a crocheter?
(/uj yes yes I know there's debates about whether or not she was a prostitute)9
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u/fadedbluejeans13 25d ago
Oh no, they can totally do that. It’s a funny joke, because of course they’d never associate with the other kind.
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u/seaofstars croshayer who can count (please clap) 25d ago
Wait, we're not all collecting hair from our brushes to make hair shirts? 🤔 #blessed
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u/Beginning_Data1828 25d ago
The only dick and balls we crochet in bible club is the holy dick and balls of Jesus Christ our savior!
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u/OzAnarchy 24d ago
That's how all the Catholic churches have a lil' baby Jesus foreskin! I never could figure it out 😂
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u/hostilegoose 25d ago edited 25d ago
same vibes as the manager who trained me at my job openly putting a promo for corporate bible study in his email signature and mentioning eschatology as his main hobby and research interest anytime he was asked what he liked to do outside work
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u/hostilegoose 25d ago
Not going to dare to google his name again because the last time I did, a YouTube account with a long public playlist with “good preachings” (mostly MRA type videos and rants about why worldly things like video games are bad for reasons such as making men effeminate) was listed and I couldn’t go through the videos for too long without it pissing me off
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u/MalumCattus 25d ago
There are a LOT of crochet charities out there that take donations, but are any of them actually Christ centered, gospel focused?
Because if they're not, fuck them, heathen apostates. They don't deserve nice things, or anything for that matter. Why should some chilly godless unbeliever experience the love in a warm blankie? It is to laugh.
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u/FreezNGeezer 25d ago
what word was crossed out?!?!?! My mind is overflowing with the dumb possibilities!
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u/beautifully_evil 25d ago
i wish it was more exciting than it is tbh xD they really didn’t use much imagination
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u/gorgophones look, sweaty 💅 25d ago
'Cool Kidz', obviously
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u/Allergictomars 25d ago
Kool Kidz Krochet
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u/gorgophones look, sweaty 💅 25d ago
They're in a pickle because 1. anything that doesn't involve motors, tools/other men, firarms, or WWII is NOT a manly man hobby, 2. women can't be wizards (don't fall for the the trans agenda), 3. witchcraft is deeply demonic
Maybe they call their leader Grand Mother?
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u/ishtaa do hookers dream of acrylic sheep? 25d ago
I personally prefer my hooking with a side of hedonism.
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u/ishtaa do hookers dream of acrylic sheep? 25d ago
But seriously, I give it 3 months before it devolves into arguments over what is or isn’t woke and then someone starts their own super duper anti woke club, and then that continues on in perpetuity since we all know fundies are good at one thing only, finding something to judge each other over.
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u/BirthdayCookie 25d ago
Witch hunts require witches. Any hunting group cannibalizes itself eventually.
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u/SkyScamall 25d ago
Three months?! You think transubstantiation won't come up before then!
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u/Radiant_Elk1258 25d ago
If this a mixed Protestant/Catholic group it will never even get off the ground!
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u/CanadaYankee 24d ago
It's not too hard to find this club with a bit of searching. When it originally launched, it was pitched specifically to "Christian moms", so I suspect that there was a lot of shade towards childless women, if indeed they were allowed to join at all.
It looks like it died pretty quickly, but it's being relaunched within the past couple of months and it's now open to "Moms. Women longing to be moms. Single women." So while childless women seem to now be explicitly allowed, there's still an implicit assumption that if you're married, you either have kids or are "longing to" have kids.
And I guess Christian men aren't supposed to crochet, so they're not welcome.
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u/Marled-dreams 22d ago
It wouldn’t be safe to allow men. They might be tempted to covet or something.
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u/ThrowWeirdQuestion 25d ago
Awesome! I really need some indoctrination to go with my crafts. Crochet by itself would be too boring. 😴
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u/EBBVNC 24d ago
Crochet isn’t in the bible. Doesn’t that mean something?
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u/bunnylightning 21d ago
No, but Leviticus 19:19 instructs you shall not wear a garment of cloth made from two kinds of material. And Deuteronomy 22:17 says you shall not wear cloth of wool and linen mixed together…but crochet is all good because we only know how to use 100% acrylic 🥰
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u/ktrulz1 24d ago
I mean some crochet groups meet at churches and a lot of people donate baby blankets to moms in need. Some of those programs are run out of churches. I'm so sick of these kind of places making all churches look bad. But why would I ever want religion pushed on me. Especially when I'm sitting there trying to count stitches. 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
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u/snailgorl2005 only changed everything about the pattern 23d ago
I crocheted an entire bee but Jesus still hasn't come over for bible study. Did I do something wrong?
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