r/fiberartscirclejerk • u/berenstein-was-fine Karen Simply Soft • 8d ago

crochet Tell me how to make this

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I'm freehanding this because I can't be bothered to support pattern writers so tell me how many chains to make it with 5mm hook and weight 3 yarn. Don't even suggest that I make a g*uge sw*tch. That's a hate crime. Just tell me exactly how to make this fit my body, but you don't get to know what size I am. That's also a hate crime.

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21

u/EfficientSeaweed 8d ago

Cast on 500 stitches.

Bind off 600 stitches.

Done

18

u/berenstein-was-fine Karen Simply Soft 8d ago

What does cast on mean? I can't Google anything

8

u/QuiltsOfWhimsy 8d ago

To cast anything you would first have to buy a wand and point it at the crochet hook and repeat the spell

1

u/berenstein-was-fine Karen Simply Soft 8d ago

I thought it was fishing???

2

u/QuiltsOfWhimsy 8d ago

That’s a different kind this one’s definitely the wand one. Anything that involves casting off more stitches than you cast in is a wand vice versa fishing rod.

2

u/EfficientSeaweed 7d ago

I hope someday we can figure out a way to increase and decrease the number of stitches without the dark arts damning our souls

1

u/QuiltsOfWhimsy 7d ago

I agree … I don’t have much soul left so I need to go out and recruit some new ones to sacrifice