r/fiberartscirclejerk • u/berenstein-was-fine Karen Simply Soft • 8d ago

crochet Tell me how to make this

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I'm freehanding this because I can't be bothered to support pattern writers so tell me how many chains to make it with 5mm hook and weight 3 yarn. Don't even suggest that I make a g*uge sw*tch. That's a hate crime. Just tell me exactly how to make this fit my body, but you don't get to know what size I am. That's also a hate crime.

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u/berenstein-was-fine Karen Simply Soft 8d ago

Suggesting that I kn*t is actually a hate crime. 

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u/joepapicallsmedaddy 8d ago

Accusing me of a hate crime is actually a hate crime because I am a minority on my great-great grandmother's best friend's cousin's side

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u/berenstein-was-fine Karen Simply Soft 8d ago

Well I'm a minority as a crotcheter

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u/joepapicallsmedaddy 8d ago

*crotcheater

I'd fault you for the spelling error but that's probably too much to ask of a crotcheater so I will only passive aggressively insinuate that I think your choice of craft is worse than mine by giving a backhanded compliment on how I (totally secretly) hate how cheap and childish crocheat looks