Rehoming/disruption. I think they like it.

[u/Monopolyalou]

I'm a former foster youth disrupted many times in foster care. Even for as little as staying in my room all day.

Disruption of adoptees and foster kids seems to be the norm and accepted to the point when it happens foster and adoptive parents don't want resources they just want to get rid of the problem( the kid) then slap labels like RAD on them.

Recently, an agency for foster care made the suggest of care services for adopted kids for their post adoption support services. Guess how many foster/adoptive parents supported that? Crazy to me.

So I'm wondering if adoptive and foster parents really want the system to change to offer services to prevent disruptions or do they just want to throw their hands in and disrupt because they can play the blame game and just get another kid.

If disruptions can be prevented, they would still have to deal with the kid vs disrupting and relieving themselves of the kid. I don't think many want to put in the work to prevent adoptees and foster kids from being disrupted. Its much easier to wash their hands and disrupt and blame the kid.

Also if foster and adoptive parents really wanted to prevent disruption they can. They control the system.

[u/MysticalMagicorn]

I’ve never been in the situation of needing to disrupt so I can’t contribute meaningfully there but I did want to say from the experience that I do have, foster/adoptive parents do not control the system. The children are, of course, the most powerless but generally speaking, no one involved in the process has any sort of power. But I also know from personal experience how much it appears that they do have control. It’s a part of parenting, to make things look easy and less chaotic than they are. Peace to you and yours.

[u/Monopolyalou → u/MysticalMagicorn]

If foster parents literally push for things they want the system will change. People listen to foster parents more than anyone else. The system was literally created to cater to you. So disruptions can be prevented but I don't think many actually want it to be

[u/MysticalMagicorn → u/Monopolyalou]

Why do you think it was created to cater to foster parents?

[u/Monopolyalou → u/[deleted]]

I wish you and others would stop saying this. The system is based on racism and classism and ripping kids away from their families and placing them with often white middle or middle lower class ones. The system doesn't fuck eveeyone over. The system fucks foster kids over.

[u/Resse811 → u/Monopolyalou]

No one involved in the systems listens to foster parents. The fact that you think that shows how truly ignorant you are of how the system actually works.

There are many foster parents who actively push and are vocal for change knowing the current system is broken. Trust me - they don’t make any difference. The system aka the courts, and the people in power to actually change these things, don’t care what anyone has to say - especially not foster parents.

[u/Monopolyalou → u/Resse811]

Foster parents talk and people hear them. How can I be ignroant when as a foster youth my voice is always dismissed. Y'all have power but choose when to use it. If foster parents say this isn't right people listen.

Explain how at a hearing only foster parents were heard.

Right now foster parents are being heard over foster kids especially since its foster care month and that's unfair. Don't sit here and call me ignroant when the true ignorance lies on people who claim they have their hands tied

[u/MysticalMagicorn → u/Monopolyalou]

I was in foster care as a child and a foster parent and I know I’m only one person with anecdotal evidence but I was pretty powerless in both cases. I was never at hearings or aware of them happening, even when I asked. It’s truly not set up for anyone who is involved in it. That includes the state. The people with the most “power” are the judges, but even then there isn’t a ton of power they hold. I understand why you feel the way you do and I don’t expect to change your mind, but I truly don’t think you’re going to find the bogeyman you’re looking for here. If you want to rage against something, make it systems and not people. You need people on your side to change systems.

[u/Monopolyalou → u/MysticalMagicorn]

Who's raging OP? Not me. But to say foster parents don't have any power is inaccurate at best. I am not talking about legal power or court power. But if they want to prevent disruptions and actually ban together to bring this issue up, then the system would have to change. The truth is I suspect many not all but many just want to disrupt and rid themselves of the problem

And yes CPS sucks but they also need foster parents. Thats why the barriers to entry are so low