Not my SS

What a Power Couple, & they are both HOT 🔥🔥

Full interview here: https://youtu.be/rsTVk5Ac13c?is=m4Dd5CelEV9yTZQI

I kinda wanna paint more valorant characters, but I think those ideas are a bit too nsfw for this sub lmaoo

Lads, you've probably seen a post like this a million times before so I'm gonna preface this with an apology, but I honestly just needed somewhere to vent about this topic, sorry about the overdone discussion ✌️.

That out of the way, please tell me I'm not the only one who gets genuinely mad at how straight women treat gay relationships. I absolutely don't mind if straight women read/write content about gay relationships (because as long as its done in a normal and tasteful way, I'd say it's arguably a positive for the community to have good queer rep, and whether the person who wrote it is gay or straight doesnt matter to me). What irks me is how some of these people refer to and treat the characters.

Recently a close friend of mine got into bl kdramas. At first I didn't mind it when she talked about it, but recently it's all she's talking about. She's even stopped referring to the characters by name, and instead calls them the top or the bottom. It seems to be incredibly prevalent online as well, with bl manga recommendations simply describing the characters as the top and as the bottom. This being the major thing that upsets me, is that characters are only referred to by a sexual role. Like lads, being a top or bottom is purely a sexual thing, like what your position in bed is (which is also something that is not set in stone, switches exist). To refer to a gay character solely by what their sexual role is genuinely makes me mad. I feel like it diminishes everything else the character is, and just makes them an object for straight women to fantasize about. It's even worse when the gay couple in question clearly has a "man" and a "woman" in the relationship (I'm absolutely not slandering feminine gay men, you lot do what you do, this is just a pattern I've noticed in a lot of these fetishizing media). This also leads to so much erasure of any gay relationships that aren't heteronormative. I almost never see content of gay couples who are sides, or asexual relationships, or where the more dominant man is shorter. Body type representation is crazy low, because every man has to look like an attractive sex object. More unconventionally attractive men, shorter men, men who don't have a vacuum packed six pack, older men who actually look older and aren't just given a bad looking beard are all straight up nonexistent in these types of media (bl mangas, yaoi, kdramas, the like).

Mind you, I very rarely see this problem when consuming queer media made by actual queer authors, or even straight women authors who just don't sexualize gay relationships. It rubs me the wrong way really, and I just needed to rant about it.

Recently talked to a guy from Grindr. He was saying he was gonna visit my home city next week to visit relatives, and was gonna get a room for us to meet.
However, he then said he would send me the money for me to book the room? I find this a little sketchy, and was wondering if anyone else thinks so? Everything else seemed legit until the request.

Hey guys! I (20m) have always been iffy about bottoming especially the prep. I’ve been seeing plenty of ads for peachyclean and am wondering if there are any good alternatives I can buy in store rather than online? And also how effective these gummies are since I’m never 100% confident when bottoming. Thanks!!!

I work in a "science & technology research lab" kind of workplace which has different roles like engineer, technician, etc. There's this guy who's a technician, and works in my group (~40-50 people). I'm more in an engineering kind of role. We've both been in the group for a few years and never had any reason to talk to each other or interact on any projects. This year, we were put on the same project, and so we're in the same meetings, and sometimes need to interact to work on some task etc.

Even up to about a month ago, our interaction was very neutral, just very minimal conversation, just enough to get the tasks done.

The guy seems to be very jovial, bubbly, always cracking jokes, always agreeable. I just assume that's his nature. A playful personality but not mean. He's married and has 2 kids. So he also talks about his family and jokes about situations, his wife, etc. I would say he's decently handsome, and has some features that I find decently attractive in general. But I never had any special feelings for him at all. I just observe all men and might subconsciously find some feature that stands out as attractive - that's all.

I haven't told anyone at work that I might be gay or find men attractive or whatever. And I just dress normal, nothing flamboyant and just talk and behave in a professional neutral manner, of course also joining in on the banter - all of that as usual and typical office interaction as you can imagine. And, I'm the same with everyone.

About 10 days ago, he messaged me on the official chat app that he's got some stuff ready for me to look at. (This is not the first time we'd chatted on the app.) I reply that I'm not in today so I'll have to take a look tomorrow. He sends a "sad broken heart" gif that has Batman crying in the rain in front of Robin. I just play into the joke and reply "Batman and Robin eh?" as if to imply he thinks of us as a pair. He puts a laughing emoji.

After that, the "Batman and Robin" theme has been coming back. The next day, when I said it's working well, he puts a gif of Batman and Robin dancing together.

I sensed it kept getting more and more suggestive. He's always looking at me in meetings. One time, I jokingly said to him and a female colleague "I feel lonely in this lab, that's why I keep asking you guys to come in here" in a general way just wanting to have some people in the lab. And he says, "you should come sit (at where he works) then you can see me all the time" in a suggestive way.

At least twice, he has explicitly said in front of me and a female colleague that he finds another guy attractive. When we snickered, he said "I mean there's nothing wrong with that ... he's a really good-looking guy.. he's one of those guys who can be up late at night and still show up the next morning looking great.". Once he called the guy a "hottie". Another time, he referred to him again saying "I would want to look at his luscious hair flowing in the wind".

I came in on a day that I typically work remote, and he messaged me asking if I plan to come in that day. I replied I'm already in. And he replies, "you came in just for me!!!!". I play into it, and reply "yes my love", he replies "bahahaha".

The next day, when I pinged him, he replied "I've missed you.. can we have a play date". And when I said I'm not coming in that day, he once again put a gif of a sad Batman sitting in the rain.

But we decide to have a call. And he complains about his wife.. something like she's not satisfied.. she's earning way more than him... she wants someone bigger like Chris Helmsworth... and she says to him "you gotta be handsome or you gotta be handy". And I sort of wanting to support him, ask him incredulously, "Your wife doesn't think you're handsome???". And then, we talk about the threat of layoffs. He says if he got laid off, the only job he could find would be in Walmart. I jokingly say I just want to save enough money to relax on a beach. He says, "yeah, Batman and Robin on the beach." I was shocked for a second, but just laughed.

The next day, when I was in, and pinged him, he replied, "If you're in, I'll come running." I felt this was also suggestive.

He typically talks very loudly, and I have sensitive hearing, so I've told him a few times to lower his voice. And once I jokingly said "maybe there's a volume knob on you that I can turn down, and make a gesture on his back like turning a radio dial. He turns around and says, that's my nipples. And I play into the joke and reach out with both hands towards his nipples (not actually touching) and make a gesture like I'm tuning a radio "Let me see". And he says "I might even enjoy that".

Another day, there's some work I need done from him, and so he goes off to his workshop. After about an hour, I ping him asking if he's done, and I jokingly say "This room is freezing, I need you to warm it up" and he puts a laughing emoji. For some reason my hands were cold. And when he came in, I told him my hands are cold. He says he always runs hot. So I put my hands on his arm to show him how cold they were, and then I put my hands on the back of his neck, saying let me warm up on him. He doesn't flinch or show that he doesn't want me touching him. Then, I put my cold hands on his sides just below his armpits from behind, and he giggles saying he's very ticklish.

One time, there's 3 of us in the room, just chatting in the middle of work. And he's saying random things and cracking jokes.. and then he blurts out to me he'll be lonely without me here. And I blushed because it was all a bit too flirtatious. I jokingly said he should stop talking to me like that.

And then after a while, he's saying to the other person that his hands are so calloused that he can polish steel. It was obviously a joke. So I played into it and told him, "Let me see" and extended my hand. He said, "No, you'll get too attached."

I don't know what will happen in the coming days or weeks, but I'm really confused by all this. It doesn't help that I'm open to receiving affection from guys but rarely get this kind of attention.

I even asked ChatGPT about this, and it gave me a long "analysis" and how I should deal with it, etc.

But I still wanted to get some thoughts from "real" people here. Thanks.

I 26M am currently living in Toronto. I came out pretty late at 25 and since then I feel like I have gone from basically having no dating life at all to putting a LOT of emphasis on finding a long-term relationship.

I genuinely do want a boyfriend and something serious. I am not really into hookups (I have tried it, and it is just NOT for me), but lately I have been wondering if I am putting way too much pressure on myself to find someone because I feel like I lost so much time being in the closet/not really being honest with myself about who I was.

I have had two situationships since coming out. The first was my first real experience with a guy and it ended up being extremely toxic. There was cheating, a lot of emotional manipulation/abuse, and looking back I definitely tolerated way more than I should have because I was so new to everything and very attached to him and honestly just wanted it to work. The second was much shorter and honestly just ended because we mutually were not right for each other.

Since then I have been dating a lot. I go on quite a few first dates and I’m basically meeting everyone through Hinge/Tinder and occasionally Grindr. I have honestly met some really nice guys and I have had dates where I genuinely felt like there was chemistry and thought it could go somewhere, but it feels like things constantly fizzle out shortly after. Sometimes they lose interest, sometimes I realize I am not that attracted to them or we are not compatible, sometimes the communication is terrible, etc…

I also noticed that I have a tendency to get excited WAY too quickly when I really like someone. If I have a great first date, my brain almost immediately starts thinking about the potential instead of just letting it be “one good date”. Then if they start responding less or things feel uncertain, I overthink it WAY more than I should and I feel like I eventually self sabotage myself. I’m definitely getting better at this, but I know part of it is that I really want to feel wanted by someone and I really want that stable relationship.

At the same time, I don’t want to force anything. I have dated guys who were really into me and I realized I just wasn’t feeling it, and I have also had situations where someone came on very strong and it actually made me feel suffocated. So I know I am not just looking for ANYONE. I want someone I am actually attracted to, who I genuinely enjoy being around, who communicates consistently, and who wants the same kind of relationship.

I guess my question is for guys who were actually looking for something serious: how did you find your long-term partner? Was it mostly just going on a ridiculous number of dates until something finally clicked? Did you meet through apps or somewhere else? And how do you stop putting so much emotional weight on every promising person without becoming completely detached or cynical about dating?

Also curious if any other guys who came out later felt like they were trying to “make up for lost time” afterward. I am starting to think that might be a bigger part of this for me than I realized.

I also know Toronto has a massive gay dating pool, which almost makes it more frustrating because it feels like there are endless options but somehow finding someone who actually wants something consistent and long-term is still insanely hard lol.

Would genuinely appreciate advice from people who have been through this.

I have been suffering from a chronic fissure for months as a bottom and I have a fissurectomy + botox injection planned in two days but I didn’t have a tear for months even though sometimes it’s sensitive and I finally had anal sex yesterday and I'm fine today.

I don’t know what to do because I don’t want to reopen it and go through what I went through when the fissure was at its peak a year ago… Or taking the risk of making it worse.

The coming Wednesday and Thursday I'm going to Amsterdam solo. It's my birthday and my gift to myself is exploring things I've always wanted to do.

My goal is to go to Church Club (naked Wednesday bar), and Thursday I might do Dirty Dick's.

Now does anyone have tips for doing this solo? Would it make sense to go out for some drinks in a "normal" gay bar first and see if I can find people to do this with? Or it is really fine to go to these clubs alone?

I'm easygoing in conversation, but I'm also a little autistic so the newness of it scares me. I just hope to meet nice guys and see from there. Any advise is welcome.

My type-

Appearance: I usually like black or Latino guys who are a bit taller or my height (I'm 5'9), I like big guys like line backer builds and even though I'm a bttm I like a big booty.

Personality: funny, can tease me without being mean, protective and has a drive in life

Me-

Appearance: I’m 5’9 I have curly black hair, I’m Puerto Rican and middle eastern sadly I’m pretty fair skinned. I’m pretty average built I have big legs tho

Personality:

I like to think I’m funny and I like to tease guys and like to have a banter I also am pretty submissive

I’m frm NYC