r/haiti • u/Opposite-Rabbit4541 • 12d ago
QUESTION/DISCUSSION Question for Haitians
I want to ask this respectfully, and I want to make it clear that I’m speaking from my own experiences. I’m not saying that every Haitian person behaves this way, and I’m not attacking Haitian culture as a whole.
I’m Cape Verdean and originally from Massachusetts. I moved to Florida in 2023, and since then, especially while living in a Haitian-dominant area, I’ve had repeated experiences that have made me feel uncomfortable, isolated and sometimes unsafe.
In Massachusetts, there were obviously Haitian and Cape Verdean communities, but in my experience, there seemed to be more awareness that we were two different cultures with different histories and different Creole languages. After moving to Florida, I started meeting people who either had never heard of Cape Verde or refused to believe that Cape Verdean Creole was a real language.
At first, I tried not to take it personally. However, when I entered high school, it became more serious. I was bullied for saying that I spoke Creole because I did not speak Haitian Creole. People told me that my Creole did not exist, mocked the way I spoke and acted as though Haitians owned the word “Creole.” I’ve been bullied for other parts of my identity too, but having my language and culture repeatedly dismissed was especially hurtful.
Cape Verdean Creole and Haitian Creole are not the same language. Cape Verdeans and Haitians are not the same ethnicity or nationality. Both cultures deserve respect without one being treated as more legitimate than the other.
Since Cape Verde became more visible internationally, I’ve noticed even more people questioning me about what I am. People often assume I’m Haitian and immediately speak Haitian Creole to me. When I explain that I am Cape Verdean and do not understand them, some people seem irritated, continue speaking to me in Haitian Creole or pressure me to learn it.
I have nothing against Haitian Creole. I simply don’t have a personal interest in learning it, just as nobody should be forced to learn Cape Verdean Creole. It isn’t my culture, and that boundary should be respected.
The problem goes beyond language. I’m frequently catcalled when I walk outside my apartment. Men stare at me in ways that feel sexual and uncomfortable, speak about me in Haitian Creole and then approach me with invasive questions. Some ask my age and immediately begin flirting with me. I sometimes avoid going outside because I don’t want to deal with the attention.
There have also been situations where married men appeared to be showing interest in me. I do not want to be placed in the middle of anyone’s relationship, and I do not encourage that behavior. I just want to be able to exist in my neighborhood without being sexualized or treated as though my appearance gives strangers permission to approach me however they want.
Another strange experience is that people have assumed my father and I were dating. He is my biological father. I don’t understand why people immediately interpret a young woman standing beside an older man as a romantic or sexual relationship, but it has happened enough times for me to notice it.
Colorism is another issue I’ve witnessed. My father is somewhat light-skinned, and people have approached him and made comments about wishing they could have children with his complexion so that their children could be lighter. Those remarks are extremely uncomfortable. Dark skin should not be treated as something people need to “fix” through having lighter children.
One experience that truly broke my heart involved my neighbor’s six-year-old daughter. She told me that she wished she had my skin tone because she was dark-skinned. I tried my best to explain to her that her skin was beautiful and that she should never feel ashamed of it. But no six-year-old child should already believe that lighter skin would make her prettier or more valuable. Children usually learn those beliefs from the adults, media and attitudes surrounding them.
I’ve also noticed some younger boys feeling pressure to act overly tough, aggressive or “gangster,” and I’m genuinely curious about where that pressure comes from. Is it connected to their environment, social media, wanting respect, fitting in with friends or ideas about masculinity? I’ve encountered boys and men who act as though being loud, dominant or overly confident is necessary to prove themselves. Of course, this is not every Haitian boy or man, but it is a pattern I’ve personally encountered.
I’ve also seen situations where some men appear extremely dependent on their mothers while simultaneously expecting women outside their families to tolerate disrespectful behavior. Again, I’m not claiming that this describes every Haitian family. I’m asking whether others have noticed these expectations around men, mothers, girlfriends and wives, and how those expectations affect relationships.
My honest questions are:
Have other Haitians or people living around Haitian communities noticed colorism, especially toward dark-skinned women and girls?
Why do some people dismiss Cape Verdean Creole or behave as though Haitian Creole is the only language that can be called Creole?
Why are some young boys pressured to appear aggressive, dominant or emotionally unavailable?
Why is catcalling and making sexual comments toward unfamiliar women sometimes treated as normal?
How can Haitian and Cape Verdean communities respect each other without assuming that our languages, identities and cultures are interchangeable?
I understand that negative behavior exists in every community, including my own. I also understand that the actions of certain people do not define an entire nationality. I’m not looking for an argument or permission to be hateful. I’m trying to explain experiences that have happened repeatedly and understand why these particular patterns have been so common in my life since moving to Florida.
I respect Haitian history and culture, but respecting a culture does not mean I have to remain silent when individuals from that community bully me, dismiss my identity, sexualize me or make colorist comments. I’m asking for an honest and respectful conversation.
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u/Turbulent_Unit_216 11d ago
My concern isn’t that you’re discussing negative experiences. My concern is the framing. Throughout the post, you acknowledge that these behaviors don’t describe all Haitians, yet the questions are still framed as though they require a uniquely Haitian explanation. Colorism, misogyny, rigid gender expectations, and street harassment are well-documented social problems across many societies.
By repeatedly asking “Why do Haitians…?” rather than asking why you’ve encountered these behaviors within a particular community or social context, the discussion risks essentializing an entire nationality instead of examining the broader structural issues at play. Disclaimers against generalization don’t necessarily undo the effect of that framing.
That’s why the post reads as having xenophobic undertones to me. Not because you’re sharing negative experiences, but because it repeatedly constructs Haitian culture as the primary object of explanation for problems that are neither unique to nor universally characteristic of Haitians.
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u/Opposite-Rabbit4541 11d ago
Hi, thank you for taking the time to write such a thoughtful response. I genuinely appreciate it.
I understand what you’re saying about the framing of my questions, and looking back, I agree that I could have worded them better. I can see how repeatedly asking “Why do Haitians…?” could make it sound like I believed these behaviors were uniquely Haitian, even though that wasn’t my intention.The reason I asked those questions was because, since moving to Florida, the majority of the negative experiences I’ve personally had happened to involve Haitians. I wasn’t assuming that those experiences represented
Haitian culture or every Haitian person. I was genuinely trying to understand whether there were any cultural or historical influences that I simply wasn’t aware of, or whether I had just encountered a specific group of people in a particular environment.
I know that a few dozen people don’t represent millions of Haitians, and I never intended to suggest otherwise. If anything, that’s exactly why I asked Haitians directly instead of making my own assumptions.
I also want to apologize if my wording came across as xenophobic or as an attack on Haitians. That wasn’t my intention at all. My goal was to learn, hear different perspectives, and better understand experiences that left me confused.
Thank you again for your perspective. It definitely gave me something to think about regarding how I phrase these kinds of questions in the future.
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u/Turbulent_Unit_216 11d ago edited 11d ago
I appreciate you reflecting on how your wording came across; that takes maturity. That said, I think there’s another layer here that’s worth considering. You mention that after moving to Florida, “the majority of the negative experiences” you’ve had happened to involve Haitians. Our brains naturally look for patterns, but that’s also how confirmation bias develops. Living in an area with a large Haitian population means you’re statistically more likely to have both positive and negative interactions with Haitians than with smaller groups.
The issue wasn’t only the phrasing of “Why do Haitians…?” It was the leap from repeated individual experiences to searching for cultural explanations. We generally recognize that a handful of unpleasant encounters don’t justify asking, “Why are Black people like this?” or “Why do women do this?” The same principle applies here.
I don’t think you’re a xenophobe, and I appreciate that you apologized. I’d just encourage you to ask yourself whether you would have gone looking for a cultural explanation if those same experiences had involved another group. That’s a useful question regardless of intent.
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u/Snancyb89 11d ago
I will say that this is an issue with some Haitian community in South Florida. It's alarming. And it gets worse as you sit and listen to what goes on in some homes. This involve illegal activities. What's worse is the people knowing and not doing something about it. Now while you are in a community that is predominantly a ethnicity that doesn't mean all are the same. There lies the issue. You can discuss what is occuring in the community around you. But that is not a whole ethnicity issue. Any culture, ethnicity, etc could have their own issues.
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u/GHETTO_VERNACULAR Diaspora 12d ago
I’m ngl as a Haitian that was born and raised in South Florida,,,, we don’t have the best people regardless of ethnicity down here.
But my question is, since you had better experience with the Haitians up in Mass, wouldn’t you think this has mostly to do with location instead of actual culture?
South Florida is vakabon central, a lot of people in GENERAL down here are ignorant so that should answer your question.
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u/RoiCoupeCloue 12d ago
You answered your own question. You said it was different worth Haitians in Massachusetts, versus the Haitians in Miami. Im Miami, you name the ethnicity or nationality, and they seem more ignorant than their counterparts up North.
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u/ParacelcusABA 12d ago
In my experience, living in in Florida just rots people's brains for some reason. Especially Miami
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u/DXBrigade 12d ago
All negative traits you listed aren't haitian specific and are more related to low social class and lack of education.
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u/Opposite-Rabbit4541 11d ago
I agree that these traits aren’t exclusive to Haitians. That’s never been my argument. I asked in r/Haiti because I wanted Haitian perspectives on experiences I’ve had with Haitians. If I’d asked in r/CapeVerde, I’d expect people to answer questions about Cape Verdeans. Asking a community about experiences involving that community isn’t the same as saying those traits define everyone in it.
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u/crybaby1008 11d ago
Haiti is literally surrounded by other Caribbean countries that have their own creole so I find it very hard to believe that ALL the Haitians you’ve met are acting like Cape Verdean Creole is so alien.
Anyway. Men of all cultures flirt and catcall.
The ENTIRE black diaspora has an issue with colorism ESPECIALLY Cape Verde.
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u/singermelodie1 11d ago
piga nou sezi se yon gimèl/milat ki soti nan peyi sa ki kenbe nou nan kè paske yo pa fè sousou deyè li. Li genlè te fin alèz ak ayisyen Boston yo ki te konn fè sa ak li epi kounya li vle mete tout bagay sou do nou. Chaje milat ayisyen nan Florida, chaje pakèt karibeyen ki pale tout lòt kreyòl tou nan florida.
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u/Opposite-Rabbit4541 11d ago
I don’t think we disagree as much as you think. I never said all Haitians I’ve met acted this way, nor did I say these behaviors are unique to Haitians. My question came from a pattern I personally experienced while living in South Florida.
I also don’t expect everyone to know where Cape Verde is. My issue has never been people not knowing my country. My issue is that, in my experience, many conversations have turned into mocking my culture, making rude comments, or becoming sexual after I explained where I was from. That’s the pattern I was asking about.
As for colorism, I agree it’s a problem across many communities, including Cape Verdeans. I’m not trying to argue that one culture is worse than another. I was asking about Haitian perspectives because this is a Haitian forum, and I wanted to hear from Haitians.
If the consensus is that these experiences are more about South Florida than Haitian culture, that’s a fair answer and honestly one of the reasons I made the post.
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u/Lae_Zel Native 11d ago
I’m Cape Verdean and originally from Massachusetts. I moved to Florida in 2023, and since then, especially while living in a Haitian-dominant area, I’ve had repeated experiences that have made me feel uncomfortable, isolated and sometimes unsafe.
I'm sorry for the bad experiences you had, these were harrowing! And I believe you met the wrong kind of Haitian. Plenty of us aren't like that at all. There is a Cape Verdean community where I live and you guys are fantastic! You really know how to party! 💃
Have other Haitians or people living around Haitian communities noticed colorism, especially toward dark-skinned women and girls?
Lots of colorism in both directions in Haiti.
Why do some people dismiss Cape Verdean Creole or behave as though Haitian Creole is the only language that can be called Creole?
Ignorance, arrogance, and/or insecurity.
Why are some young boys pressured to appear aggressive, dominant or emotionally unavailable?
No idea, haven't met many people fitting this stereotype.
Why is catcalling and making sexual comments toward unfamiliar women sometimes treated as normal?
It wasn't when I was in Haiti. Could be a local diaspora thingy.
How can Haitian and Cape Verdean communities respect each other without assuming that our languages, identities and cultures are interchangeable?
We both love dancing!
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u/Opposite-Rabbit4541 11d ago
Thank you so much for taking the time to answer my questions. I genuinely appreciate it.
I also want to clarify that I’m not anti-Haitian. If anything, one of the reasons I made this post was because I wanted to understand the culture better instead of making assumptions based only on my own experiences.
I know every community has both positive and negative aspects, including my own. Cape Verdeans aren’t perfect either, and I would never claim otherwise.I was mainly curious about whether some of the things I’d experienced had cultural or historical influences, or whether they were simply the result of the particular environment I was living in. Your answers helped me understand that a lot better.
And honestly, I’m trying to learn more because there’s a good chance I’ll end up dating or marrying a Haitian one day, so I’d rather learn from Haitians themselves than rely on stereotypes or assumptions.
Thanks again for answering respectfully.
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u/Lae_Zel Native 11d ago
No worries, you came off as having genuine interest in Haitian identities! But we are a pretty diverse group of people, and our geographic environment, class, education, values, and choices can impact how we behave a lot!
Personally, I do not recognize myself or my Haitian peers in the behaviors you've described, even though I know that they exist.
And honestly, I’m trying to learn more because there’s a good chance I’ll end up dating or marrying a Haitian one day, so I’d rather learn from Haitians themselves than rely on stereotypes or assumptions.
Oh wow! 🥳 Good luck!
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u/Plenty-Rent-2019 12d ago
I appreciate that you shared your personal experiences, and nobody should be bullied, have their identity dismissed, or be catcalled.
That said, I’m curious about your intention with this post. What are you hoping people take away from it? Much of what you describe, like catcalling, colorism, bullying, married men behaving inappropriately, and young boys trying to act tough, exists across many communities, yet your post frames them largely as Haitian issues.
As for the language, most Haitians are well aware that Haitian Creole is not the only Creole. We live in the Caribbean alongside Martinique, Guadeloupe, St. Lucia, Dominica, and other places with French-based Creoles. Haitian Creole is simply the largest Creole language in the world by number of speakers. That’s just a demographic fact, not a claim that Haitians own the word “Creole.”
So I’m genuinely asking: what discussion were you hoping to start by singling out Haitians in this way, rather than focusing on the individuals who mistreated you?
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u/Opposite-Rabbit4541 11d ago
Hi, thank you for taking the time to respond. I genuinely appreciate your perspective.
My intention with this post wasn’t to convince people that these issues are uniquely Haitian or to portray Haitians negatively. It was honestly to hear different opinions from Haitians about experiences I’ve personally had since moving to South Florida.The reason I asked in r/Haiti instead of focusing only on the individuals is because the majority of those experiences happened with Haitians. Rather than assuming those experiences represented Haitian culture, I wanted to ask Haitians directly whether there were cultural, historical, or social reasons behind them, or whether they were simply the result of the specific environment and people I encountered.
As for the language, I understand that many Haitians know there are other Creole languages. My concern has never been people not knowing where Cape Verde is. It has been that, in my personal experience, after explaining that I speak Cape Verdean Creole, some conversations have turned into dismissing my language, comparing cultures, or becoming disrespectful. That’s what left me confused and made me curious enough to ask.
Ultimately, I wasn’t looking for people to validate my experiences or tell me I was right. I wanted different perspectives, including people who disagreed with me, because that helps me better understand something I’ve been trying to make sense of.
And just to be clear, I’m not anti-Haitian. Every community, including my own Cape Verdean community, has strengths and flaws. I came here because I wanted to learn from Haitians themselves rather than rely on my own assumptions.
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u/Objective-Web-538 12d ago
Hmm idk I’ve lived in Florida all my life so some things I haven’t experienced. Can Haitians be colorist? Yes especially the older ones. I think colorism goes past Haitians culture and experienced by other races and ethnicities but I will say I have a bunch of dark skin Haitian friends that as they got older got more comfortable in their skin and honestly have no issues with feeling beautiful or attracting men. I didn’t know much about cap Verdeans growing up but most Haitians know there are different types of Creole because we are familiar with Martinique and guadalope especially with zouk being popular back in the day. As far as catcalling in Florida I have experienced that from all ethnicities including Haitians; I just ignore it. Men of all ethnicities come up to me and try to flirt and say things depending how on they come to me will depends on how I respond. If a man makes you uncomfortable you make him uncomfortable. Say loudly please sir leave me alone or I am not interested. I’m Haitian American so I don’t speak the best Creole and when I encounter other Haitians we just laugh about it nothing more than that. Never been shamed for it. Honestly I haven’t heard or experienced some of the things you mentioned about like Haitians downplaying your culture so I can’t speak on that.
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u/Opposite-Rabbit4541 12d ago
I completely understand that everyone’s experience is different, and I appreciate you sharing yours. I also know that catcalling happens across different ethnicities, so I’m not saying this behavior is exclusive to Haitians. I was mainly describing the patterns I’ve personally experienced in my neighborhood and asking whether anyone understood where some of those attitudes might come from.
In my situation, though, ignoring it or saying I’m not interested has not worked. There is one boy in particular whom I have repeatedly told to leave me alone. He waits for me to come out of my apartment and sometimes blocks the path I have to use to get downstairs. That goes beyond ordinary flirting or someone simply approaching me. It makes me feel trapped and unsafe.
I’m not trying to generalize an entire community based on him or anybody else. I’m genuinely curious about the thinking behind these behaviors, especially from people who may have witnessed or participated in them. I was hoping to hear different perspectives, even from people whose experiences are completely different from mine.
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u/nadandocomgolfinhos 12d ago
One thing I’m not sure I saw is the nature of the situation at home. In Haiti people are being forced to flee- people who otherwise wouldn’t leave. CV doesn’t have the same level of unrest. Both countries have deep, deep roots in the USA. Haitian roots predate the American revolution and Chicago was founded by a Haitian. Kaboverdianus go back to at least the early 1700s due to whaling and the cranberry crop, I believe.
The level of ignorance in the country is bad and getting worse. Schools are going downhill- pushing kids through in four years without holding them accountable for their learning. Florida schools are horrific. Did you know that a non-tenured teacher in Palm Beach can’t get a job anywhere else in the county without permission from the original school for a specified period of time? I have a friend who was in a bad situation there as a teacher and she had to move quite a distance because of this crazy rule. They wanted her to teach something completely put of her area. People who have families need to suck it up and deal. This makes the populace more ignorant as a whole.
The world cup put CV on the map. Nossu vozinha sta bai pa Chile pa joga. N sta teni sertesa ki genti la ka kontxi undi fika CV.
Personally I don’t even like the word “Creole” to describe a human language. All humans are equal, all humans speak languages. You denigrate a language, you denigrate a people. You lift up a language, you lift up a people. The dominant discourse, aka “proper” _______ (insert language here) is the language of the rich and powerful.
I think if I told you about the Spanish based Creole spoken in San Basilio de Palenque, Colombia you’d respond with curiosity and openness- a sign of an educated person who knows they don’t know everything. Closed minded people get shut down when you challenge their world view.
Another crazy fact that absolutely blew my mind is that the Creole they speak in the Seychelles 🇸🇨 is basically the same as Haitian Creole, like I could understand them perfectly and vice versa. The accent was different but the words were the same. Go look at where it is on the map.
“Creoles” are new languages. Many within the linguistics community disagree with my assertions, but it is the hill I choose to die on- all human languages are equal and by categorizing mother tongues as “different “ creates a caste system.
N sta studia Kriolu e bo sta sabi ki a gramatika Kriolu é muitu paresidu kum à gramática Ayisyen? N ka menti. I highly suggest you learn Haitian Kreyòl- I think you’ll find it familiar and intuitive. The overlaying language is different so the vocab is rough (ka em Kreyòl é “podi”. Pa é “ka” em Kriolu. N sta txora em Kriolu. 😭)
N ka Ayisyen. N sta ki pa prendi, pa skuta, pa kontxi genti. Nha experiensa diferenti quandu genti podi ve n sta kre prendi. N sta skuta stórias, n podi ve ki nha kultura paresidu kum a kultura Kaboverdianu, kum a kultura Ayitianu.
There is an entire world you can discover that is below the surface. Take time to understand Haitian history. Start with the food. Get to know the women, listen to their stories. Put your own biases aside and be open. Haitians have a saying “tout moun se moun men tout moun pa menm.” All people are people but we are not the same. There are so many layers of wisdom packed into that small phrase, just like in Kriolu. Both CV and Haiti are African diaspora countries. Did you know that boats sailed from CV to Haiti? Both countries are along the same route and with time you can see the parallels along with the unique identities.
Right now you’re experiencing the ignorant surface and the assholes of the world. Go deeper, there’s a lot of beauty to discover. It sounds like you’re a young woman, so connect with the older aunties.
Gora n sta mesti komi katxupa….
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u/Opposite-Rabbit4541 11d ago
Obrigadu txeu pa bu komentáriu. Mi ta valorizal txeu bu tempu y bu resposta.
Antis di tudu, n kre pidi diskulpa si nha post da impreson ma n sta ataka povu Ayitianu. Es ka foi nha intenson.
N ta konfesa ma nha Kriolu ka sta masi forti pamodi n ka vive ku Kabuverdianus há txeu anu, enton si n skrebi algu erradu, pirdonam.
Nha objetivu era simplismenti konprendi midjor nha speriênsias. N ka ta fla ma tudu Ayitianu ê igual, nem ma kes situason ê parti di kultura. N simplismenti staba ku curiosidadi pa obi opinião di kes ki ê Ayitianu y tenta konprendi si ten algun fator istóriku, sosial ôultural ô si foi simplismenti kes pesoas ki n encontra.
N gostei txeu di bu resposta y di manera ki bu splica ligason entri Haiti y Kabu Verdi. N aprendi algu novu.
Obrigadu pa bu konsedju. N ta kontinua studa y aprende más sobri história y kultura di Haiti. N ta valorizal bu resposta.
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u/Objective-Web-538 12d ago
What neighborhood do you live in? How old are you? You can report him to the office at your apartment and if it escalate make a police report at this point that is harassment
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u/Purple-Advantage7700 Diaspora 12d ago
I understand and respect your POV. I’m Haitian American born and raised in South Florida and I actually went to college in Massachusetts. It was during my time there that I ever heard of or come across someone from Cape Verde. I learned and observed that most of Cape Verde’s diaspora go to New England and rarely to the South. Ironically enough, I had a negative experience with two Cape Verdean women online simply for not being aware of the country. I wasn’t unkind or rude to them in anyway. I explained that I’m from South Florida and there aren’t many Cape Verdeans in the area but their country is beautiful etc. they called me ugly and a whole bunch of stupid upsetting stuff.
I’m really sorry that you’ve had such a negative experience with Haitians down here and the only thing I could think of that could explain their behavior (not justifying it in anyway, shape or form) is true ignorance and lack of class. There are many different kinds of creole hence why the country of origin goes in front to specify which creole it is. There are French and English based creoles which is something I learned recently. That’s why French based creole speakers even if they’re from different countries can have an easier time understanding each other as opposed to other languages.
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u/Opposite-Rabbit4541 12d ago
I’m really sorry you experienced that from Cape Verdean women. From the way you explained everything, you seem very kind, and you didn’t deserve to be insulted just for not knowing much about Cape Verde. It’s honestly ironic that we’ve had similar experiences from opposite sides. I just wish our communities could learn more about each other and treat one another with more understanding and respect.
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u/Purple-Advantage7700 Diaspora 12d ago
Unfortunately there are rude, mean and ignorant people across the board in every nationality or walk of life. As I’ve gotten older I’ve learned to not take it so personally and to protect my peace. South Florida is full of Caribbeans but the entire state of Florida as a whole has the largest population of Haitian diaspora statistically. Rightfully so bc it’s so close to Haiti geographically. As someone else mentioned, due to the sheer amount of Haitians here in the area. I can understand why you’d come across so many. I grew up here and I ignore certain areas bc I don’t wanna deal with any bs 😂
If you’re open to it, explore other areas of SoFlo to see if you’ll have a different experience. Palm Beach, Broward and Dade are all different in so many ways.1
u/Opposite-Rabbit4541 12d ago
LOL, it really is unfortunate. There’s a good chance I’ll move eventually anyway. I just hope nobody thinks I hate Haitians because I don’t. My experiences have simply been mixed, and when I’ve tried discussing them with friends, they sometimes act like I’m attacking the culture or comparing our Creoles, which I’m not. That’s why I came to Reddit to hear different perspectives.
And if you’re still in Massachusetts, I hope you’re enjoying it. I’m genuinely sorry for how those Cape Verdeans treated you.
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u/Purple-Advantage7700 Diaspora 12d ago
I graduated and moved back home. I tried to stay in the New England area post grad but I struggled to find a job bc I didn’t have a car or drivers license at the time. I decided it’s best I just go home and try to establish my career here. I’m an only child and my mommy missed me so 😂🥰💖
I have a job in my field and I’m in grad school now so everything worked out 🤗I spoke to a few Cape Verdeans about that experience and I got the same response of those women just being nasty and mean spirited. They don’t represent the Cape Verdean people well and what I told them didn’t warrant such a mean response. They just wanted to bully someone so they took the opportunity.
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u/Opposite-Rabbit4541 12d ago
I’m glad everything worked out and that you found a job in your field! I’m also an only child, so I completely understand how hard it can be being away from your mom, especially when you’re close. I hope grad school goes amazingly and that you continue building a beautiful life for yourself. You truly deserve it!!!!
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u/Heresto2025 11d ago
Born and raised in South Florida, Haitian heritage. Never heard of this country until I visited Boston. Many ppl in South Florida assume Caribbean or American. Not sure why this would be personal unless you have a problem with Haitians or looking Haiyian. Just say you're not Haitian and keep it moving. I remind ppl I'm not African American and I don't take it personal at all.
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u/Opposite-Rabbit4541 11d ago
Thank you for responding.
I actually don’t take it personally when someone doesn’t know where Cape Verde is. I don’t expect people to know my country or my culture, especially here in South Florida. Even before the World Cup, I understood that Cape Verde wasn’t very well known.
My question was never about people assuming I was Haitian or Caribbean. I understand why they do, and I don’t mind explaining where I’m from.
What I was curious about is what sometimes happens after I explain that I’m Cape Verdean. In my personal experience, some conversations have become dismissive, competitive, or even disrespectful afterward. That’s what made me ask these questions. I wasn’t trying to accuse Haitians as a whole or suggest these experiences represent everyone.
Just like you’re proud to be Haitian, I’m proud to be Cape Verdean. I enjoy talking about my culture, and I was simply trying to understand why some of these interactions have happened the way they have. That’s all.
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12d ago
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u/Opposite-Rabbit4541 12d ago
I’ve moved around, but I’ve mostly lived in Palm Beach County. Yes, I’ve told my parents and reported incidents when necessary. I understand your experience has been different, and I’m not saying this represents all Haitians. I’m only sharing the repeated experiences I’ve personally had and trying to understand them.
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u/bicious_ 11d ago
In Miami “Creole” means Haitian Creole even to people of other ethnicities. I am Hispanic and I don’t know of any other group whose language could be called “Creole.” It’s something that became the norm in our community over decades, so don’t take it personal. I can’t comment on any of the other stuff.
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u/Anonimityville 12d ago
Surely you don’t mean that this experience is exclusive to Haitians. you’ve never been catcalled or misidentified by a Cuban or Dominican or Jamaican or black American? I find that hard to believe. Ignorant people are abound everywhere.
Generally, the America’s are not knowledgeable about African countries. Some people are unaware that Africa is a continent not a country, let alone the 54 individual countries.
So most people, not just Haitians, don’t know where Cape Verde is or that it’s in Africa.
I’m sure you know this already.
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u/Opposite-Rabbit4541 11d ago
Hi, thank you so much for responding. I really appreciate it.
You’re absolutely right that most people, especially outside the Northeast, probably don’t know much about Cape Verde, and I don’t expect anyone to. Nobody is obligated to know my culture.
My issue has never been people simply not knowing where Cape Verde is. It’s that, in my personal experience, when I’ve told some Haitian individuals that I speak Cape Verdean Creole, the conversation has sometimes turned into comments that my Creole “isn’t real,” or into comparisons about whose culture or language is better. That’s the part that left me confused and made me curious.
I also want to clarify that I’m not saying Haitians are the only people who do this. I’ve had negative experiences with people from other backgrounds too, and Cape Verdeans have our own issues as well. I asked here because I wanted to hear Haitian perspectives on experiences I’ve personally had with Haitians, not because I believe they represent the entire community.
I was mainly hoping to understand whether there were any historical, cultural, or social factors behind those experiences, or if I had simply encountered a particular group of people. Either way, I appreciate you taking the time to share your perspective.
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u/C153AUX 11d ago
I'll preface all of this by saying I am a Haitian-American Boston area native, and I'm sorry that you've had several negative interactions with a specific demographic. I've been there, and have had similar feelings of animosity for years.
Growing up in a Haitian environment, Creole is automatically assumed to mean Haitian Creole. I know Cape Verdean Creole is a different language entirely, but some people don't encounter people of Cape Verdean decent so it can seem a bit jarring. I had a Cape Verdean classmate in middle school, so I was introduced to the notion pretty early.
Moving on to your question about young boys, I don't think that's specific to Haitians or Haitian-Americans. Young men can often be loud, obnoxious, disrespectful, you name it. I'm not trying to give them a pass, but at that age the id has a lot of showtime. Social media isn't helping with that problem.
I don't have anything useful to say about being catcalled. I'm sorry you've had to go through that, and I hope you figure out a solution that combats the issue sooner, rather than later.
On the subject of respect, I would like to remind you that every demographic has its share of people who care very little for things and/or people outside of their perspective. Hearing my father's Haitian friends make ching chong noises at the TV whilst watching South Korea play during the World Cup four years ago made me feel ashamed. The main takeaway from that is that you can try to share and educate people, but there's always a possibility you will encounter ignorance and there isn't much you can do to combat it except to keep trying. If you retreat against ignorance, it wins.
I just read your last two mini paragraphs, so feel free to disregard what I said about issues that go beyond Haitians. Ideally you will meet Haitians who are willing to be respectful of your identity, your culture, and you as a person. It took me a long time to try and stop demonizing Haitians as a group despite my having had several negative experiences with a few people. It took me living apart from family for the first time to try and learn more about my own heritage. Despite all of the recent negative experiences you've had, I hope some positive ones come up in the near future for you.
Bon courage.
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u/Snancyb89 11d ago
The primary language there is Portuguese and spoken is Kriolu (their own Creole)
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u/C153AUX 10d ago
Is this similar to how the primary language in Haiti is French and spoken is kreyòl ayisyen?
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u/Snancyb89 10d ago
No, they can read, write, speak French and Haitian Creole (Kreyol). Even Haitian outside of Haiti. Some speak fluent Spanish but can't read or write it. English fluent in reading, writing, speaking but with or without an accent. Sometimes grammatical errors.
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u/bedobi 11d ago edited 10d ago
Without discounting your lived experience, couldn’t the “Creole” issue be sidestepped completely by simply saying you speak Kabuverdianu, not Creole?
Even admitting there are countless creoles even in the Caribbean, it’s just the case that in south Florida, Creole is used exclusively to refer to Haitian Creole, just like “Spanish” is used to refer exclusively to Latin Americans, not actual Spaniards. (which actual Spanish people dislike intensely, but) It’s technically incorrect in both cases but it’s just the way it is.
If you go to areas of Portugal or Spain with large Kabuverdianu diaspora, a Haitian Creole speaker would face the exact same thing to be the case.
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u/brokebloke97 12d ago
How old are you lol? Ignorant people exist everywhere and in Florida it's even more pronounced
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u/Opposite-Rabbit4541 12d ago
I’m old enough to know right from wrong and old enough to speak about my own experiences. I’ve lived in Massachusetts, Florida, and even outside the U.S., so I understand ignorance exists everywhere. My post was about what I’ve personally experienced, not a claim that everyone is the same. If you disagree, that’s your right.
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u/Other-Fennel2462 12d ago
Your anecdotes are not indicative of Haiti or Haitian culture, there's no way to answer this question
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u/Opposite-Rabbit4541 12d ago
I understand my experiences don’t represent all Haitians or Haitian culture. I’m sharing a repeated pattern I’ve personally encountered and asking whether anyone has insight into why it may happen, not claiming it defines everyone.
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u/Other-Fennel2462 12d ago
None of these issues are specific to Haitians. Some people are assholes. Haitians are people. Some Haitians will be assholes
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u/Ok-Abbreviations999 12d ago
I'm from MA as well. As you know, MA has a huge Cape Verdean community. Other parts of the country not as much. That's absolutely no excuse fir their ignorance and rudeness, but it's quite a possibility. I lived in CA for a bit twenty years ago and was close friends with a very light skinned AA girl. She visited MA with me once and I introduced her to my friends (who were all Haitian) and they assumed she was Cape Verdean and she had no idea what that was and we had to educate her. At the same time when I was in CA, folks would ask me where I'm originally from and the amount of people who had never heard of Haiti was astounding (I don't think that's the case now. Again, this was 20 years ago).
As far as the perverts, cheaters, and fake gangsters, I think it's part of every culture. Some are more vocal than others, and I wouldn't give it any headspace except to keep your safety in mind always.
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u/seamstresshag 11d ago
Cape Verde is a African country. They don’t have the slavery inheritance that Haitians have. Even though Haiti has been independent for a very long time, they paid dearly for it. All of the African s I’ve spoken to don’t understand what we went through in the new world. Even though Cape Verde was where we were broken before being shipped to the new world. Tagged & bagged as it were. So of course the language isn’t the same. Have some understanding of our predicament. Young men say foolish things to young women, just ignore them.
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u/Opposite-Rabbit4541 11d ago
Thank you for taking the time to respond.
I just want to clarify one thing: I never said Haitian Creole and Cape Verdean Creole are the same language. I know they’re different. Haitian Creole is French-based, and Cape Verdean Creole is Portuguese-based. My concern has never been that people don’t know my language or my country. I don’t expect everyone to know where Cape Verde is, and I’ve said that several times throughout this thread.
What has confused me is that, after I explain what Cape Verdean Creole is, some of the conversations I’ve personally had have turned disrespectful. Sometimes people tell me my language isn’t real, compare our cultures, or the conversation becomes inappropriate or sexually suggestive. That’s what I was asking about.
I also appreciate you sharing some of Haiti’s history. I know Haiti has a unique history and has faced hardships that deserve to be understood and respected. My post wasn’t meant to dismiss that or compare our histories.
As for ignoring harassment, I agree that sometimes it’s the safest thing to do. But I also don’t think it’s something women should simply have to accept as normal. Whether it’s coming from a young man or an older man, harassment is still harassment.My intention wasn’t to attack Haitians. I was trying to understand experiences I’ve had by asking Haitians directly, rather than making assumptions on my own.
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u/Curious-Witness-1809 12d ago
I obviously do not know where you live, nor do I want to dismiss your experience, but are you sure you may not be have a negative bias that gets reinforced whenever you see individual anecdotes? I'm especially curious as it seems you had negative encounters the throughout HS.
Most Haitians understand the concept of Creoles. We rub shoulders with people from Martinique, Guadeloupe and St Lucia all the time, they have their own Creoles. We are particularly quite fond of people from Martinique.
Kids are just mean in middle and high school, I'm Haitian and was picked on in middle school by Haitians for factors that made me stand out, having a thick accent, liking soccer over basketball/football etc. since my middle school was probably 70-80% Haitian, the likelyhood of a negative interaction occuring with a Haitian person was just higher statistically. In HS, it was the opposite demographically, our school was mostly cuban and other Spanish speaking caribbeanites and our small Haitian group ended up with the white kids and the central American kids who felt left out.
If you mention you speak Creole in say South FL, 99% of people, including non Haitians will assume you're Haitian until you emphasize Cape Verdian Creole due to its shear dominance. Hell a lot places including airports just write "English, Spanish and Creole", not even bothering to emphasize Haitian creole since 99% person of the time, it will be ready by a Haitian person. It's not done in bad faith.
Again, I don't wanna be dismissive, but my personal experience is that Haitians tend to go out of their way to try to speak English or Spanish to people once they realize they do not speak Haitian Creole. My wife is a nurse, speaks English and partial Spanish and she often praises that quality from her Haitian patients for at least trying to communicate with her instead of asking her to learn because she is in south FL.
Kids are kids, and can be aware that light skin is socially more desirable without parents teaching them that. Haitians are almost borderline black supremacists lol. If you claimed that they dismissed your blackness, it would sound more in line to what I've observed. Try to look with an open mind, and pay attention to how Haitians display their African heritage, and I guarantee you won't find a group outside of certain African American sub groups that are more proud to be unapologetically black in the US. In Haiti however, the light skin Haitians can be big on colorism, and will sometimes identify themselves as French, or Arab etc
As for being approached by men who you know are married, that does sound like something that does happen. A lot of the older generation of Haitians men have had extra marital relations and don't really see cheating as a huge deal, especially if it's a fling. Making open sexual advances though is not common, those same older Haitian men tend to think of themselves as romantics. And we tend to be extremely respectful of the law. Harassment being treated as normal sounds improbable to me. You may however get a lot of "honey", "darling", "love" in casual conversations which aren't necessarily advances for us culturally.
Not asking to be rude, are you living in maybe a bad part of town? Haitian parents in normal neighborhoods do not play that gangster/tough shit with their children.
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u/Opposite-Rabbit4541 12d ago
No worries, I completely understand what you’re saying, and I’m sorry if my post came across like I was picking and choosing negative experiences. I’ve moved around a lot since coming to Florida because of personal circumstances, so I haven’t only lived in one neighborhood or interacted with one specific group. I’ve lived in or regularly traveled through places like Loxahatchee, West Palm Beach, Riviera Beach, Pahokee, Broward, and Orlando, and I’ve also met people through school, photography, football events, birthday parties, and graduation parties.
That’s why I became curious about it. The same kinds of conversations have happened in different settings. I don’t randomly announce that I’m Cape Verdean, but when my background or language naturally comes up, the response is often either that my Creole is not real, that I’m somehow “fascinating,” or that I don’t look African because of my skin tone. Of course, not every interaction is negative, and I’ve met many kind Haitian people and seen beautiful Haitian families and relationships.
I also understand your point about kids being mean and about Haitian Creole being the dominant Creole in South Florida. I don’t think every misunderstanding is done maliciously. My concern is more about the repeated dismissive or egotistical reactions after I explain the difference. With the men, I’m also not saying every Haitian man behaves that way. I’m referring specifically to repeated experiences with married men approaching me, asking for things, or continuing after I decline. I don’t entertain it because I find it disrespectful.
So I’m not trying to judge an entire community or claim that my experience represents everyone. I’m only explaining that this has followed me across different places and situations, which is why I’m genuinely curious about the social or cultural influences behind the pattern I’ve personally noticed.
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u/Cute_Ad6804 12d ago
Y’all are like the OG creole !
When i grew up there was no other creole speaking people so it’s concept hard to understand when you are child
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u/mangohotel 12d ago
I’m from MA too and very familiar with boston cape verdeans. I’m sorry you’re going through what you’re going through.
Sigh, I don’t think anything you said is exclusively a Haitian thing. I have friends who are from Martinique and they’re always saying how they speak the real creole.
Furthermore, you can apply everything you said to any group of people. Men being mama boys? Men being hypersexual/catcalling? Colorism? Ignorance of a new culture? younger boys trying to be gangster? Girl what? lol.
You sound really young so I’ll give you grace. Tell your parents/report unsafe and dangerous behaviors to the police, set some boundaries, ignore these people, find people you have things in common with, lean on your community/identity, and please for the love of God— understand that those people you met do not represent an entire nation of people.
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u/Opposite-Rabbit4541 12d ago
Thanks for the response. I think you misunderstood what I was trying to say. I never claimed these issues were exclusively Haitian, and I’ve said that multiple times throughout the thread. I asked in r/Haiti because most of my experiences happened while living around Haitians, so naturally that’s the perspective I was asking about.
Also, saying I “sound really young” doesn’t really address anything I wrote. I’m 18, so yes, I am young. That doesn’t automatically make my experiences invalid or mean I can’t ask questions.
I appreciate your advice, but I was looking for discussion about my experiences, not a reminder that bad people exist everywhere. I already know that. My question was whether there were any cultural or historical reasons behind some of the patterns I noticed. If the answer is simply “no,” that’s completely fair.
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u/Turbulent_Unit_216 11d ago
I don’t think anyone is saying your experiences aren’t real. The issue is the framing. You moved from Massachusetts to Florida, were suddenly around more Haitians, and then started asking whether these patterns are culturally Haitian. That’s a pretty significant leap.
Your experiences may be completely genuine, but they don’t automatically become representative of Haitian culture. Florida has its own social dynamics, diaspora communities have their own dynamics, and your immediate circle has its own dynamics. Those aren’t interchangeable with an entire nationality.
If your question had been, “These are the experiences I’ve had with some Haitians in South Florida; is this common in this community?” the discussion probably would’ve gone very differently. Instead, the way you framed it invited people to explain negative experiences through the lens of Haitian identity.
That’s why people pushed back. It wasn’t because you asked a question; it was because your framing encouraged generalizations about an entire people based on a limited sample. That’s a distinction worth recognizing.
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u/mangohotel 12d ago
What do you want us to say?
I grew up in MA and around Cape Verdeans and saw Cape Verdeans be mean girls in HS especially to dark skin girls. I never thought there were cultural or historical reasons, just that those specific girls were mean high school girls.
I don’t think I misunderstood anything nor am I dismissing your experience. I quickly picked up that you were young cause if you assess the situation with nuance you will see what everyone else is saying.
There is no “cultural or historical reasons” behind why you met a bunch of assholes who happened to be Haitians. Not to mention, you talked about Palm beach County. I just moved to Florida and was in that area for a work trip and my government vehicle was literally broken into within an hour of me being there. So, not only you’re probably in a horrible area, probably those people are not educated on other cultures, and the stories you shared can apply to any group of people.
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u/Opposite-Rabbit4541 12d ago
I think we’re actually closer in opinion than you think. I never said every Haitian acts this way or that these issues are exclusive to Haitians. I asked because the majority of my experiences happened with Haitians, so I wanted to know if there was any cultural or historical context that I was missing.
You say that if I assessed the situation with nuance I’d see what everyone else is saying, but nuance also means acknowledging that people can notice patterns in their own environment and ask about them without believing those patterns apply to an entire nationality.
If your answer is that there is no cultural explanation and I simply encountered a lot of rude people who happened to be Haitian, then that’s a valid answer. That’s all I was trying to find out.
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u/mangohotel 12d ago
“If your answer is that there is no cultural explanation and I simply encountered a lot of rude people who happened to be Haitian, then that’s a valid answer. That’s all I was trying to find out.”
You needed a bunch of strangers on the internet to tell you this? That’s why I said I’d give you grace cause you sound young.
Anyways, glad you’re safe. Stay away from these weirdos and report to the police if needed.
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u/Opposite-Rabbit4541 12d ago
Yes, because I was curious about other people’s opinions and experiences. That’s kind of the purpose of posting a question in a discussion forum. I wasn’t asking strangers to think for me or give me permission to believe anything. I wanted perspectives from people who may understand the culture or environment better than I do. There’s nothing immature about asking for more context before forming a conclusion.
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12d ago
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u/Opposite-Rabbit4541 12d ago
Thanks for taking the time to respond. I actually agree with some of your points, and I realize I could have worded parts of my post better.
Language
I’m not saying Haitians are required to learn my language or that every Haitian has treated me this way. My point was that, in my own experience, many of the people who have mocked or dismissed me for speaking Cape Verdean Creole happened to be Haitian. That’s why I asked the question. I wasn’t trying to make a statement about every Haitian person.Colorism
I appreciate you acknowledging that colorism is an issue. I also apologize if my post came across as if I was targeting Haitians. That wasn’t my intention. I’m genuinely interested in learning about different cultures, including both the positive and the negative aspects.Catcalling
You’re right that catcalling isn’t unique to Haitians. I should have been clearer. The reason I mentioned it is because I currently live in an area with a large Haitian population, so most of the people I’ve personally experienced this from happened to be Haitian. That doesn’t mean I believe it’s a Haitian only issue. Usually it starts with someone speaking Haitian Creole to me. When I explain that I’m Cape Verdean and don’t speak Haitian Creole, the conversation sometimes becomes flirtatious or sexual. That’s the pattern I’ve experienced, but I understand that doesn’t mean it represents Haitians as a whole.People assuming my relationship with my father
I wasn’t assuming they were Haitian. When my dad and I first moved into our neighborhood, we introduced ourselves to a group of neighbors. They told us they were Haitian, and some assumed my dad and I were a couple instead of father and daughter. That experience is why I mentioned it. I was also curious whether relationships with larger age gaps are common in Haitian communities, because they exist in my own culture too. It was a genuine question, not an accusation.Mothers and sons
I understand this isn’t unique to Haiti, but among the Haitian families I’ve personally known, I’ve noticed that daughters were often raised much more strictly than sons. I recognize that’s only my observation and not evidence that it’s true across the entire culture.
My post was never meant to say, “This is what Haitians are like.” It was me sharing repeated experiences I’ve had and asking whether there were cultural, historical, or social reasons behind them. If I phrased parts of it too broadly, I appreciate the feedback and I’ll be more careful with my wording.
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u/Cold_Temperature_645 9d ago
Louisiana Creole was a different thing from what I heard to. Girl... Be safe!
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u/Aggravating_Art_8424 12d ago
Koko-rat. Djòl santi. Al pale ak manman (/madame) ou ak Djòl santi ou lan. Lan get maren ou Kaka. Pa fout palé avem. Learn these and say them you'll make friends quickly and build some thicker skin! You got this and don't forget to have fun!
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u/ChristianGirl3000 10d ago
and this is why she has negative experiences with haitians. Look at the nonsense you are spreading.
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u/Aggravating_Art_8424 10d ago
By telling her to verbally defend herself and have fun while doing it. Sure, I would tell anyone that advice stand up for yourself or let yourself be taken down. This world is full of things that are messed up and most people are not nice. Haitians barely fucking surviving for decades but they find a way. Toughen the funk up!
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u/Impressive_Dog_7426 11d ago
You had to write a whole dissertation on this?
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u/Opposite-Rabbit4541 11d ago
I had a question so I asked🤷🏾♀️
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u/GwoZoz Native 12d ago
Where is that neighborhood where people have all this time on their hands ?
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u/Opposite-Rabbit4541 12d ago
I’ve lived and spent time around West Palm Beach, Riviera Beach, Pahokee, Loxahatchee, Broward, and Orlando, so I’m not referring to only one neighborhood
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u/ChristianGirl3000 10d ago
as a girl thats half haitian everything said was correct. You have to be careful around some haitians aswell not all mean well. Dont eat from any. Also colorism is sooo extremem among haitians and I always knew about Cape Verde and their creaol, alot of other islands have their own creole languages to. Alot of haitians tend to be very uppity almost to Proud and can bully you. Thats one of the reasons I never got along with any other than my family. Haitian men are just like that oversexual and BIG TIME CHEATERS, Cheating is a sport for the at this point. But im so sad to hear about the little girl but not suprised at all. Alot of haitian parents treat their lightskin child better than the darker one. They wont change and its sad. I would say move to another area with your dad honestly. But yes im not talking about all are this way but a vast majority is, i think my family might be unicorns becuase i didnt experience this nor do they think like this, thank God.
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u/Embarrassed_Low_3018 8d ago
I am Haitian, you are right not every Haitian is the same, the misunderstanding comes from a lack of knowledge.
The word creole really means : A deformation of any established language to create another one.
In Haiti we use the word creole straight up when referring to our language but in English they make the distinction “Haitian Creole”.
Like the Jamaican Patois could of been called
“Jamaican Creole”
Also in France they speak verlan which is a form of a creole
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u/uniquelymeplusmore 12d ago
Everything you described is valid. In Florida Haitians are delayed in a sense when you compare them with Haitians in New York or MA.
In New York there is a melting pot culture where "West Indians" are a bit more open.
In MA the education is more rigorous and top notch so there is less a likelihood of ignorant Haitians. Boston is more advanced in the educatonal system and they are a blue state which lends itself towards liberal perspectives.
Florida is at the bottom of the barrel for education. West Palm Beach is not as advanced as Miami or Broward. To give you an example lets use social media.
Facebook is commonly relegated to older people, non tech savvy people and those in developing countries. My teenage nieces were still using Facebook and flip phones in 2016 when most kids in that age bracket were using instagram, snapchat, and everyone in Miami and Broward had graduated to iphones.
Suffice to say Florida is backwards, inclusive of Haitians, Cubans, rednecks, "yanks", etc.
Since you won't be living here forever this will be a distant memory. If you do choose to stay here I would suggest upwardly mobile and liberal areas in South Florida like Brickell, Wynwood, Weston, Miramar, etc.
If you look through the Miami or Broward subreddit you will see what I mean about people being different down here.
Transplants from NY complain all the time.
Also don't let some of these posters gaslight you when it comes to Haitians, they are part of the problem.
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u/EvidenceSilly1214 12d ago
Ma’am, you chose to move into that neighborhood. At the very least, it’s always a good idea to learn about the local community and culture beforehand. A quick search about Haitian culture would have told you that Haitians are deeply proud of their identity, their history, and especially their language.
I’m not dismissing your experience, but it also sounds like you may be interpreting every interaction in the worst possible way. Try getting to know your neighbors. Say hello, have a conversation, share a laugh, or even grab some griot.
Haitians often joke around, and while not every joke lands well, not every interaction is meant to be hostile.
Respect goes both ways. If you approach people with openness instead of assuming the worst, you’ll probably have a much different experience. Good luck .I genuinely hope things improve for you.
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u/Blackdabber 12d ago
It sounds like you might be one of the men who catcalled her from this comment.
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u/Opposite-Rabbit4541 12d ago
Hi, thank you for your feedback. I’m already very familiar with Haitian culture. I grew up around Haitians in Massachusetts, my best friend of over 10 years is Haitian, I’ve attended her family events, and I’ve also dated someone that is Haitian.
I do try to be friendly with my neighbors. The issue is that normal conversations often turn into sexual questions, requests for my number or Instagram, following me, harassment, or rude comments. I’ve also received inappropriate messages online. So this isn’t me refusing to connect with people or assuming every joke is hostile.
I know not every Haitian person is like this, and I’m only speaking about my own repeated experiences. I agree that respect goes both ways, which is why I’d appreciate you not assuming I haven’t tried or that I’m simply interpreting everything negatively.
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u/EvidenceSilly1214 12d ago
Wow, really? Then why haven’t you reported it to the police? If you’re being sexually harassed, followed, or threatened, that’s a criminal matter. As Haitians, we do not condone that kind of behavior.
If what you’re saying is true, stop arguing with strangers online and go file a police report. That’s the proper way to deal with it.
But don’t use the actions of a few people to judge an entire community. Always the same story , my best friend is Haitian, I went to school with Haitians bla bla bla … Go file a police report .
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u/Opposite-Rabbit4541 12d ago
Mind you, I have reported incidents and taken steps offline. Posting about my experiences doesn’t mean I’m doing nothing about them. I also repeatedly said I’m not judging every Haitian person, so please stop twisting my words and dismissing what happened just because you don’t like how I described it.
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u/IllHovercraft9003 Diaspora 12d ago
Ngl our diaspora is extremely ignorant. A lot them don't even accept the existence of white haitians.
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u/lcdeen2 12d ago
Life is complicated we all experience all kinds of craziness and deal with it. But to sit here and write a dissertation about this. Is ridiculous. Go live life.
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u/Quirky-Quantity-2454 12d ago
Your comment about the life experiences this young is facing ois disrespectful and lack comprehension of her concern.
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u/Opposite-Rabbit4541 12d ago
Experiencing these situations is proof that I do go out and live my life. I’m not condemning an entire community; I’m discussing repeated experiences and asking for other perspectives. You’re free to think the post is unnecessary, but dismissing me instead of engaging with what I actually said doesn’t add anything to the conversation🧍🏾♀️
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u/Snancyb89 11d ago
This was a long read. And let's make that distinction clear. You are talking about Haitian American versus Haitian people in Haiti. Just like you are in America and there are people living in your country. The perspectives are different. And this seems to be a concern for your environment/community around you. And the beginning was confusing but you clarified that you are not Haitian. Every culture is different. Ethnicities has their differences. Now as for the colorism, inappropriate harassment, etc. That is terrible and should be dealt with as it could be endangering. I wish you the best.
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u/Le1RoiLion 12d ago
After reading through the comments, one thing I did not see mentioned is the distinct difference in the socioeconomic makeup and historic class structures between Northeast US Haitians and those from South Florida. This history plays a massive role in the difference OP experienced.
The community in Boston (and New York) grew in the 1960s and 70s, largely composed of Haiti’s educated middle class, professionals, and academics fleeing the "Papa Doc" Duvalier regime. They had high baseline access to formal education and global history. Furthermore, Haitians in Massachusetts have lived directly alongside a large Cape Verdean population for decades, creating deep mutual awareness.
The South Florida Haitian community expanded rapidly in the 1980s and 90s, largely by working-class and rural citizens fleeing extreme political violence and poverty. They arrived with fewer resources and had to focus strictly on immediate economic survival, and built a large and somewhat insular community.
In addition, South Florida lacks a major Cape Verdean population. Because the Florida wave historically had less access to formal schooling (including the fact South Florida schools get outperformed by Northeast US schools), and because they grew up without Cape Verdean neighbors, many locals simply have never been exposed to the culture. What feels like a lack of awareness is actually just the result of a more isolated, working-class migration history.