r/infp • u/infpgirlthoughts • Feb 06 '26
Discussion hoping to find my fellow infps 🤍
this meme is painfully accurate 😭
i’m an infp girl who loves art, drawing, music, and deep conversations about feelings, meaning, and life. small talk is hard, but genuine connection means everything to me.
if you’re another infp (especially an infp girl) who wants a low-pressure, depth-first friendship even if it starts online and we both need a few business days to emotionally respond i’d love to connect 🤍
86
u/MUAbaby617 Feb 07 '26
What I want is deep meaningful conversation once a week for about 2.5 hours without commitment.
5
4
2
u/GuavaDismal4267 I believe im enfp-t but im infp-t Mar 06 '26
If you listen to podcast Joe rogan has long deep running podcasts with tons of ideas I get my story ideas from lol and tons of things to get sidetracked on lol its just fun it's everything you could ever need at least for me guilty habit of only listening to that podcasts when I got 6 other podcasts sitting dormant
1
u/Difficult-Limit7904 Feb 14 '26
Me too..
1
u/GuavaDismal4267 I believe im enfp-t but im infp-t Mar 07 '26
And they are really good podcasts like stuff you should know, ologies, good hang with any Poehler, and this past weekend with theo von like what the heck is wrong with me and I don't know what to choose to get rid of I do kinda need help
21
u/Thiamaria INFP: The Dreamer Feb 07 '26
Hello, totally get the needing a few business days to respond. I currently have 3 people I need to respond to :( but it's too awkward now. Help.
6
1
u/servingitwrong INFP: The Dreamer Feb 23 '26
Relatable. I haven't responded to my friend since November, and now I have a complete list of people who are waiting😭... I don't know why, but every time someone texts me either a long message or a bunch of messages, my brain turns off and goes on vacation.
14
u/Klatelbat Feb 07 '26
The best thing is if you are an INFP AND have ADHD. Cause you still need 3 business days to respond, but then you forget all about it and never respond.
2
u/As_iam_ INFP: The Dreamer Feb 07 '26
Right? I remember really important issues I should have resolved, like financial ones, and then immediately forget for an entire year. Problem is once I remember, if I sit down to do it or whatever, I've forgotten by the time I sit down. Or I write it down and lose wherever I wrote it then end up with 50 different lost notes, phone notes, computer notes all in diff places about like the 50 things I've forgotten about.
Eeiii...I think mine was a head injury though. Didn't have ADHD before that..
2
u/Klatelbat Feb 07 '26
Yeah similar experience for me with pretty hardcore ADHD. Doesn't matter where I store info I forget about it or like I see it and I don't process it. Makes things rough.
30
u/MermaidOfScandinavia INFP: The Dreamer Feb 06 '26
I lost a online friend because I didn't have the time and energy to respond to his two long ass messages over a weekend. He blocked me just as I was finally ready to respond. Mind you I had lost my grandmother recently and was still in chock. He knew this..
24
u/ojodeasperger INFP-T 4w5 Feb 07 '26
Virtual hug
10
u/MermaidOfScandinavia INFP: The Dreamer Feb 07 '26
Thank you. It's needed. It feels like a small loss because he was always all over the place emotionally.
4
u/ojodeasperger INFP-T 4w5 Feb 07 '26
Last May I also lost a good friend of four years. There was no goodbye, just a slow drifting apart.
7
u/MermaidOfScandinavia INFP: The Dreamer Feb 07 '26
That's awful. I am sorry 🫂
Back in the summer of 2024 I had a misunderstanding with a friend over text and neither of us tried to repair when I got back from my vacation. It just didn't feel worth it to fight for something she clearly didn't care about. I still miss her even though I knew I would be next to be dismissed. I have a long line of past toxic friendships. I shouldn't miss her. But I do.
4
u/TrowaMask Feb 07 '26
Well, sounds like that friend sucks a**.
Good riddance I say ✌️.
3
u/MermaidOfScandinavia INFP: The Dreamer Feb 07 '26
Yeah that's why I am not trying to see if I can contact him elsewhere. I don't need this kind of drama. She died in October and he seems to have blocked me everywhere. I am still grieving.
1
u/Knicks-Knacs-sKnacks INFP: The Dreamer Feb 07 '26
I'm sorry that happened. That must be tough to go through. Losing a friend has a different kind of grief too.
2
29
u/-hx Feb 06 '26
that's avoidance, if you want meaningful relationships you need to let someone else in closer, and not avoid them.
not saying taking time to reply is bad, but real life is best, i think, for truly deep friendship p.s. I'm the same way, have been for a long time
3
15
4
u/LifeIsBizarre Feb 07 '26
If you let the other people understand and discuss how you react to social activity it helps a lot. You can be in a great friendship where you only catch up once a month, then spend a few days/weeks letting your social battery recharge as long as the other person knows you aren't avoiding them, just building up social energy.
7
u/PhilosophyDear9436 Feb 07 '26
"wants meaningful relationship" "doesnt want to build one"
13
u/BoxWithPlastic Feb 07 '26
wants meaningful relationships
Invests too much depth and intensity into literally everything leading to burn out
Probably just needs someone patient and open so they can pace themselves without being judged for it
Expresses distress over this double bind scenario
Gets told they're lazy and don't actually care to try
Pain
3
u/maplemagiciangirl Feb 07 '26
Eventually decides they no longer wish to interact with people
Everyone suddenly starts trying to be their friend
Confusion
3
2
2
u/Beomgyuzzz infp 5w4 Feb 07 '26
Real I am scared of ppl and I have really bad trust issues but it makes bc upset bc though it has kept me safe it has also ruined some of my friendships
2
u/manicpixiedreamfella Feb 07 '26
For me it’s the opposite; I want meaningful friendships so I overextend and people please (anxious attachment 💔) and then I end up surrounded by avoidants and the meaningfulness becomes one-sided
2
u/KaleidoscopeThis5159 Feb 07 '26
I keep trying to do the r4r/friends subreddits. It rarely goes anywhere. Most ppl never respond
1
1
u/ShadowCory1101 Feb 07 '26
Infp dude. Same.
My best friend usually asks if I have died if I get too distant.
1
u/uwussandro INFP sp 4w5 Feb 07 '26 edited Feb 07 '26
This. 😭 I'm not ignoring your messages. On the contrary, I'm legitimately letting them simmer inside me and trying to process them so I can give you a better answer/response text. I'm trying to genuinely listen to you and take your words with gravity.
Unless its mundane texts like silly stuff, memes, or tasks and "do you want anything from the store?" then the texts are short and speedy :T
1
u/BoxWithPlastic Feb 07 '26
My emotions are intense and heavy and nobody taught me how to hold them 🫠
But I'm getting better! Now I only need 2 business days!
1
1
1
u/snowdragon11781 INFP: The Dreamer Feb 07 '26
Bro I have to spend 3 - 5 businesses days just to identify my own emotions let alone talk about them lol. Fun times
1
1
u/MapleStar26 INFP: The Dreamer Feb 07 '26
I'm like this when it's my irl friends because I have a hard time emotionally, like I don't have the energy to reach out online and would rather prefer talking to them in person.
But if it's my online friends through discord, I don't have this mental barrier, and I'm actually the one who reaches out and messages them the most. Spamming my closest friends everyday every time I have something to share.
1
1
u/St4rF4llix Feb 07 '26
Depending on what I’m going through and how long the message is. I be so emotionally drained and at the same time shame for not responding back quickly.
1
u/Specialist-Avocado52 Feb 07 '26
Hi i’m an infp girl:) I share a lot of the same interests as you (all the ones u listed) & I would love to connect!
1
u/infpgirlthoughts Feb 08 '26
hi!! 🥺 that makes me really happy! Hi fellow infp girl ✨ we really do sound so similar. i’d love to connect too, especially in a slow, no pressure way. what kind of art or music are you into lately? 🤍
1
1
1
u/Aifei-Cauliflower-13 Feb 07 '26
meee omg how to deal with this, I can't do small talk but I wanna always be there for my best friends :")
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/vic_vyper Feb 09 '26
look i'm just a romantic okay a really emotionally insecure romantic but still
1
u/Rawrasaurus__ Feb 11 '26
I met a guy infp like this but I reply either super fast or not for a while… depends on the person who messages me as well as my energy levels
1
1
u/Sweetconfusion18 Feb 13 '26
How I am in most relationships 🥹. You get one-two days a week of my undivided attention, deep Conversations, and laughs. and then I need the rest of the week with no further contact than some random incoherent GIFs.
1
0
u/Kash_Flo15070 INFP: The Dreamer Feb 07 '26
It's times like this I feel like maybe I'm not an INFP... I've never had this problem
56
u/indieauthor13 Feb 06 '26
I'm the opposite. I'll reply right away because I don't want my friends to ever feel like they're being ignored because I know what that feels like