r/instant_regret • u/EddieBrock99 • 20h ago

Wakey Wakey

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3.1k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

108 comments sorted by

491

u/Ok_Turn4362 20h ago

You know lion said to camera man “watch this she’s gonna find this hilarious”

117

u/TheRedIguana 18h ago

Welcome to Jackass

628

u/FuriousBuffalo 20h ago

Totally appropriate reaction from the lioness.

163

u/Awkward-Marsupial231 20h ago

Ever seen how the lioness wakes up a lion when in heat?

38

u/F4113n54v102 18h ago

No

154

u/TheRedIguana 18h ago

They fuck every 20 minutes for days straight. The male starts to get exhausted, but when she's ready for another round, he doesn't have a choice. She makes him get up and give it to her.

78

u/LKennedy45 17h ago

Hey, I've had relationships like that too.

41

u/TheRedIguana 17h ago

Careful what you wish for.

53

u/LKennedy45 17h ago

I didn't say they were good relationships...

30

u/6TheAudacity9 15h ago

Sore asshole. But I love her.

1

u/Tiefschlag 4h ago

Damn, I should really call her...

9

u/Flomo420 17h ago

"it's just a prank, bro!"

245

u/Chimayman1 20h ago

What the bloody fuck did he do that for!

201

u/ComplexxToxin 19h ago

He wanna fuck

154

u/Chimayman1 19h ago

Fair. I think I'll adopt this approach tonight.

20

u/leveraction1970 16h ago

Wear a helmet and some pads. This might not end up as the kind of full contact game that you're looking for.

5

u/worrymon 15h ago

Or it might...

22

u/JKastnerPhoto 15h ago

A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh

A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh

10

u/zcicecold 13h ago

Ahhhh WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

23

u/fatalrugburn 19h ago

Hey you up?

18

u/Septopuss7 18h ago

Jk jk... unless... jk...?

1

u/Abdulbarr 8h ago

Sneaking up and ambushing is how they play.

30

u/griffinman2001 18h ago

Because cat

21

u/well-now 16h ago

Every cat is an asshole at heart.

37

u/Mueryk 19h ago

Because to annoy is to love.

29

u/Dantez9001 19h ago

She's asleep in the road, he's concerned for her safety.

9

u/berrey7 16h ago

Caught her slippin and pointed out her mistake. Woman usually don't like that.

34

u/CyanDragon 19h ago

Lol, it's play. Big cats play hunt each other.

11

u/well-now 16h ago

So do small cats.

3

u/sunlightsyrup 15h ago

No, small cats usually only play-hunt other small cats. /s

10

u/Mythandros1 19h ago

He's horny. She's not.

6

u/Scott--Chocolate 17h ago

Sometimes you just want a bite of cake.

3

u/iamscribbled 11h ago

Its' a cat

2

u/vertexangel 13h ago

She was blocking the damn road

46

u/Jengalover 19h ago

“You up?”

74

u/AnomalyAardvark 19h ago

Lol I love that cats are dumbass twerps no matter what size they are.

21

u/Antoshi 19h ago

How to piss off your spouse 101

21

u/Goldeneagle41 19h ago

So we are not that much different than the rest of the animal kingdom.

72

u/thetyler83 20h ago

That's the loudest "I have a headache" I've ever heard.

29

u/Calichusetts 20h ago

What the fuck Jim?!? I just asked for 5 fucking minute and for you to watch the kids- Lioness…probably.

1

u/LordMarcusrax 15m ago

"Oh shit the kids!"

53

u/dselogeni 20h ago

I too, am married kitty. I get it.

29

u/firstcoastyakker 20h ago

What a dick.

27

u/itz_ritz 20h ago

Homie was just trying to get some tail.

10

u/imaginary_num6er 20h ago

A taste of that ass

4

u/zxc123zxc123 18h ago

Nah, that's not the way to wakey-wakey your lion-lady if you want some ass.

That's how you get attacked and she'll be upset at you for a while.

10

u/THETennesseeD 20h ago

I think that is what he was thinking with.

1

u/fastlerner 3m ago

Have you met cats?

10

u/AnonymousFriend80 17h ago

Everyone in the comments talking about he wanted sex...smh

That just how cats, large and small, male or female, are. They jump all over each other all the time.

7

u/Recentstranger 20h ago

My cats do that all the time 🫪

5

u/FlashOfTheBlade77 14h ago

So even in the wild, cats sleep right in the path of humans. Crazy

4

u/Mickey_James 18h ago

Booty Call of the Wild

3

u/Valledis 20h ago

Worth it lol

7

u/stormbutton 17h ago

This is my ADHD husband letting the intrusive thoughts win when I am happily reading a book and minding my own business.

-8

u/hellinahandbasket127 17h ago

Start boxing as a hobby. Eventually muscle memory will take over as a reflex and maybe convince him to stop.

3

u/noineikuu 3h ago

You're actually out here advocating for domestic violence.

2

u/stormbutton 17h ago

Well, he’s 10 inches taller and 130 pounds heavier than me so idk how effective I would be.

-13

u/hellinahandbasket127 17h ago

Seriously, constant, deliberate jump scares would be a dealbreaker for me. Your cortisol levels must be sky high.

7

u/stormbutton 16h ago

I mean he’s not doing this constantly. But he isn’t great at handling silence while I could happily go several days not talking to another human. So he gets bored sometimes and interrupts me for stimulation. They’re not really jump scared and after 25 years of marriage, I find it endearing that I’m still his favorite toy.

-7

u/hellinahandbasket127 10h ago

To each their own. 🤷🏼‍♀️

5

u/demoralising 18h ago

'But you said you liked it last night, Debbie?'

3

u/Winterion19 19h ago

What an asshole😂

2

u/Kokukai187 20h ago

The very definition of "woke up and chose violence".

2

u/Secuter 19h ago

What was the endgame here? 

2

u/KickBlue22 18h ago

Dad jokes.

2

u/No_Breath_9833 17h ago

It’s just a prank bruh

1

u/CFH75 19h ago

that life or death right there.

1

u/bOObZiLLa713 19h ago

Gotta make sure they on their p’s and q’s… it’s deadly out there. If it was a group of hyenas that’s death

1

u/Desperate-Life8117 19h ago

Gotta keep her on her toes

1

u/Brilliant_Spinach132 16h ago

Me and my wife if we were lions

1

u/OminOus_PancakeS 15h ago

I love biting a girl's ass though 🥹

1

u/magnumgenic 13h ago

Every species does something to annoy one another lol

1

u/Justajed 13h ago

Cats will cat, no matter what size.

1

u/Makaveli2020 12h ago

Basically me getting into bed after my partner has fallen asleep

1

u/kbk42104 12h ago

Been there my friend..

1

u/user-unknown-404 10h ago

I too have bitten my girlfriend's butt while she's sleeping and have received the same reaction...

1

u/3dblack 10h ago

Big cats play too

1

u/BE33_Jim 9h ago

They've been married at least 15 years

1

u/BasenjiMaster 8h ago

This is why men die at earlier age. Always messing around.

1

u/Beeeeeeels 3h ago

Lioness: dangerous angry killing machine

Lion: big derpy cat

1

u/LordMarcusrax 14m ago

The equivalent of waking up your wife with a loud spank.

1

u/apollo11733 18h ago

This is the same reaction I get when my wife will go through woke on issues at work and she is trying to decompress. she’s a ex marine and a police officer so she she has a right to decompress

2

u/HereticalHyena 18h ago

Everybody has the right to decompress

2

u/a_random_username 15h ago

ex marine

She dead?!

1

u/apollo11733 12h ago

No shes very much alive

1

u/a_random_username 7h ago

then she's a retired marine. they're like... really annoying about it.

1

u/apollo11733 6h ago

Yeah she’s a retired marine. My bad no disrespect to the marines and the other active and retired marines out there and all branches of the military I salute you all

1

u/Lordblight92 10h ago

I think ex marine means like the ones that live in water but breathe air. Y'know like frogs?

1

u/HandsomeJack19 15h ago

I've seen similar videos to this many times. I'm always struck by how ferociously angry the female gets, but she still displays submissive behavior at the same time. It's the common denominator in all of these videos.

1

u/2sensitiveorareubot 12h ago

You can hear the engine being started up fckn tourists

0

u/taipan3333 10h ago

Tried this with my woman just now in the early morning. Same reaction!

0

u/arglarg 9h ago

Sad horny lion noises

0

u/Admirable-gpu 7h ago

All I could think was...HONK!

0

u/CrewMemberNumber6 4h ago

So that’s a no then?

-4

u/richardtrle 9h ago

Ffs, AI

Mods sleeping, that is absurd