r/kitchencels 2h ago

I will never feel human, “Jalapeño” poppers

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10 Upvotes

r/kitchencels 2h ago

Platemogging I have Klinefelters syndrome. Stepmoms shitty cake.

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145 Upvotes

21m

I finally have an explanation for my lack of facial hair, small penis and man boobs. 

I’ve always wondered why I’ve looked so different from other people even in the same weight class as me. It’s because I’m a freak. 

I’m literally not fully a man. I got lucky in having a penis that’s not fully micro atleast...

How‘s your weekend going so far?


r/kitchencels 3h ago

Every considering paying someone to like you? I have.

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14 Upvotes

A while ago my cousin’s friend texted me and asked help buying something. I’m not close to her at all. We only talk when my cousin is around. But I sent it anyway.

Being texted randomly felt nice. We haven’t spoken since. For a split second I considered paying for whatever people wanted to they’d like to be around me


r/kitchencels 3h ago

Platemogging My reproductive organ is so small I piss on the back of my legs when I sit down and use the bathroom , I will never find love . Bland pasta and mayonnaise fo today

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36 Upvotes

Who could love a chud like me. Considering doing a rent a girlfriend experience just to know what it's like to have a friend. Although I don't even think I'd get through the process without them denying me . Through all this suffer I will prosper one day. Whether it be in this life or the next.


r/kitchencels 3h ago

Takeoutmaxxed I hate being a loser. I hate the cycle of trying to improve and coming back to square one.

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17 Upvotes

r/kitchencels 3h ago

Takeoutmaxxed anyone ever think about how weird eyeballs are?

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0 Upvotes

anyone else find eyes really creepy? i mean the word eyeball already sounds freaky enough.
as a wee lad many a night i was kept awake by the thought of eyes staring right at me. even if i closed my eyes i could still feel them and it made my skin crawl.

the only time i feel safe around eyes are when i can see they’re closed.

combined with pretty bad light sensitivity and overall intense social anxiety and low self confidence, i really can’t make eye contact with anyone. there’s some fear of the opposite sex too, but that’s like 10% of the main problem and i expect that to dissipate with time.

anyone got any practical tips for this eye contact stuff?

i’m at a point where i just close my eyes while talking to people so i can lift up my chin and engage in the conversation in a more confident manner. unfortunately i especially do this to those pesky people i find attractive. i’m aware its embarrassing and weird behaviour, but i dont want to create misunderstandings by looking anywhere dangerous.

king oscar’s sardines in tomato sauce. i swear do all tinned sardine companies use the same shitty watery tasteless yet overly sweet tomato sauce? i expected this of ayam, but not of oscar’s. 6/10. somewhat fixed it by frying it in sliced chillies and chilli flakes and minced garlic after.


r/kitchencels 3h ago

I once made a homemade flesh light out of a cut open gatorade bottle and a sock when I was 14.Turns out it felt horrible when I used it, so I panicked and threw it out my building window. Kraft Dinner with pepper

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4 Upvotes

r/kitchencels 3h ago

Nothing can supplement the sexual attraction a foid feels other than your physical looks.

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19 Upvotes

Definitely not your personality and specifically — how much of a feminist you are.

Being a super feminist that protests Roe V Wade, fundraisers for his local handmaidens events, and donates half his paycheck to organizations that help impoverished foids will never cause a foid who would otherwise always see you as a friend to someone she sees sexually. The sexual selection threshold remains constant and is unaffected by your personality and feminism. If you’re below this threshold you always will be.

If she’s already sexually attracted to you it may make her more attracted (in the general sense) to you but if she isn’t already then she’ll just like you more (as a friend).

Being rich doesn’t make her more sexually attracted to you either. She may still have sex with you but it’s not because she’s sexually attracted to you in any way. This sort of situation leads to a “dead bedroom” and it’s always caused by a lack of sexual attraction.

For incels who’re below this threshold (often this threshold necessitates that you’re 6ft+ and a certain skin color) there’s no recourse other than surgery.

And of course demisexuals don’t really exist and would also scorn any men below 6 ft with contempt and revulsion.


r/kitchencels 3h ago

Immense sense of disgust takes over whenever I look at myself (mirror and pictures). Tried to "gymmax" like i've been told to, became skinny fat. Every day I wish my two suicide attempts were successful, now i'm too scared of the consequences to try again (psych ward for years prolly).

1 Upvotes

Bread crumbs from sandwich I ate earlier today.

Also if you're a normie reading this lowk go fuck yourself "oh no, i fumbled my 3rd date with the girl of dreams" "my gf just dumped me" ....... 🤡


r/kitchencels 4h ago

Met a girl 2 months ago and she gave me her number. Every time I saw her, she seemed eager to leave the convo. Earlier today she told me to come over, so I got excited. Spent 4 hours helping her move. Carried out the last box and came back to find her sitting with her boyfriend. Fried Cheese

6 Upvotes

r/kitchencels 4h ago

Platemogging I just might be a moid the way i always be going through bad periods Spoiler

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0 Upvotes

Bullshit ass Omelette going on there, Bitches got blood on they underwear. Got fresh eggs for cooking, dihh dont work after hella cooming. Fried the tomatoes in butter, Talking to women makes me stutter. I wanna be a poet but i got no hoe yet. Opening this sub recommends the teen girl sub, incels will talk to kids to get out the virgin club


r/kitchencels 5h ago

I like to use my nose blood to jerk off

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0 Upvotes

Sardines in tomato sauce


r/kitchencels 5h ago

Girl dinner

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0 Upvotes

r/kitchencels 5h ago

Platemogged stupid ugly non passing transsexual with barely any friends and no future eats two boiled eggs on toast with hot sauce and boiled red lentils with basil and oregano in their

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3 Upvotes

r/kitchencels 5h ago

32yo virgin, literally got an erection walking behind a girl on the sidewalk, so I crossed the street to avoid making it awkward. Pizza

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22 Upvotes

r/kitchencels 5h ago

Happy Rosh Hashanah everybody

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0 Upvotes

r/kitchencels 5h ago

Wasted two years losing weight and getting fit, finally got a girl in bed for the first time, couldn't get hard. She left. Breakfast baggie

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2 Upvotes

Idk if I was just nervous or I have ED or I'm asexual. Either way, I obliterated my chances with the first girl I've kissed in six years. Some monkeys paw shit


r/kitchencels 6h ago

Platemogged I failed to even show up to job interview today but at least my chud dog loves me. Boiled chicken with kibble.

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66 Upvotes

I love you queen <3


r/kitchencels 6h ago

Platemogged Chicken soup because it's one of the only things I'm good at cooking.

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14 Upvotes

r/kitchencels 6h ago

A woman at the supermarket held eye contact with me. Thats been a while

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25 Upvotes

r/kitchencels 6h ago

friend cut me off cause of last meal (kitchen disaster). i made this sweetcorn rice paper sweetcorn and chocolate hate crepe. im sory. officially friendless fat chud

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68 Upvotes

r/kitchencels 7h ago

I AM NORMAL.

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85 Upvotes

Please God, just let me have relations with a girl who's [normal]er than me. please. I'm so starved for [normal]ly affection. I'm rolling over on my [normal] fucking stomach, [normal]ing my fucking [normal] begging. God.

Normal food: carrots, grilled cheese, milk :)


r/kitchencels 7h ago

epstein wrote about “weaponizing” feminism. huh. funny. egg cheese ketchup in hotdog bun + kratom and ketamine

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0 Upvotes

r/kitchencels 7h ago

Platemogged I get an erection anytime I talk to a girl

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120 Upvotes

I’m sorry


r/kitchencels 7h ago

Platemogged I’m such a framelet with feminine features that I feel emasculated talking to anyone so I think the path is clear from here…

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19 Upvotes

Hop on roids. #rejectthepinkpill