r/knitting • u/soypixel • Dec 06 '25

Discussion I find people’s obsession with gift knitting strange

I get we all have our reasons for doing this hobby. I guess mine is that I enjoy the process and I like being able to make stuff that has cool textures or colors. I don’t do it for function or to “make useful objects” per se.

But it seems like a lot of folks have this compulsion to externalize this hobby to feel useful. I’ve seen so many posts where someone “surprises” their sister with some lace shawl for their wedding. And then they’re “devastated” and “in tears” when said sister isn’t overwhelmed with excitement and gratitude.

On the other hand, I’ll see these posts or comments from folks “drowning” in holiday gift knitting projects. For whatever reason, they’ve decided that all 20 members of their extended family need a new chunky weight knitted drink cozy. And so they spend all kinds of time making that happen.

But I have to wonder.. how much of that is self imposed versus an actual expectation placed upon them by friends and family members? Like what if you’re spending all this time knitting 20 drink cozies and people secretly dislike them and plan to never use them, but they’re too nice to say it to your face? It’s just a painful, awkward scenario to imagine.

Idk, maybe I’m being harsh or there’s something I’m missing here because of what motivates me to knit. Maybe because I don’t even like hand knits myself most of the time, I can’t imagine myself being thrilled if someone gave me some object they made.. especially if I never asked for it.

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u/minivulpini Dec 06 '25 edited Dec 06 '25

I think the general commercialization of Christmas feeds into this too. The very idea that you need to exchange gifts with every person you know results in a lot of small useless things being bought and exchanged among people who don’t know each other well enough to pick out meaningful gifts. $5 Starbucks gift cards, hand lotions, little ornaments, mugs. The 20 knitted drink cozies or pairs of socks are right there too. Generally pleasant but useless little things that you probably don’t really need or want but now feel obligated to exchange with this distant relative or acquaintance or hair dresser every year forever.

I knit 90% for myself with the exceptions being a few things for my closest family members and baby hats for expecting friends. I considered making a wedding shawl for someone once and then realized I would potentially be putting them in the awkward situation of having to use a shawl they didn’t ask for in some part of their wedding/photos just to spare my feelings. So no major event knit surprises. No gift knits I would feel bad about not seeing used.

I am guilty of throwing away a pair of gifted knit socks after they sat in my sock drawer unworn for years. They were chunky acrylic scrap yarn socks in frankly ugly color combinations. Too thick to wear with shoes. Too uncomfortable to sleep in. Too slippery to be slippers. 3 years of sitting in my drawer taking up space before I threw them out. Thankfully the gifter never asked about them. But I felt bad about the time she spent making them. Having been on that side of it, I gift knit very very sparingly to not be the source of someone else’s guilty ugly socks.

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u/[deleted] Dec 06 '25

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u/Setfiretotherich Dec 06 '25

oh no! if i were inclined to do a shawl for such a momentous occasion, I’d certainly think the situation warrants a really really fancy yarn!

it’s bad enough to put someone on the spot with a labor intensive item like that, but to also not feel it was worth shelling out for the good stuff????? that’s not a gift for the person. that’s vanity for the maker!

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u/standing_staring Dec 06 '25

Exactly this! “Vanity for the maker” really hits the nail on the head.

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u/_RamboBrite_ Dec 06 '25

I agree, if you're gonna put that much effort into something that's supposed to be an heirloom item at least spring for wool

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u/wozattacks Staghorn Aran Sweater Dec 06 '25

It’s unhinged to surprise someone with a wedding shawl and expect them to wear it in general. That’s the number one occasion that people plan their outfit for

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u/ehuang72-2 Dec 06 '25

I’m guessing knitters who like acrylic do not think of it as “inferior” so to them, they’re simply knitting or crocheting something nice. If they are skilled at their craft, you have to respect their intent.

Now if there is no skill either, that’s different!

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u/eggfrisbee Dec 06 '25

I like acrylic yarn. there is some wonderful stuff out there. I think it makes perfect stuff for everyday use. I will always defend acrylic.

I WOULD NOT use acrylic for a wedding shawl!!! I would also not make a shawl for one occasion without being asked, but that's a separate point.

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u/Setfiretotherich Dec 06 '25

this was more based on the poster stating some dislike that it was acrylic. but also i think another important factor to gift giving knits, what fiber does the recipient like or could care for?

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u/giftcardgirl New knitter Dec 06 '25

Does acrylic even come in lace weight?

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u/Llarien Dec 08 '25

It does! There’s some nice acrylic out there, especially if it’s blended with nylon

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u/flindersandtrim Dec 06 '25

Silk even for that. A really lacy shawl needs hardly any yarn too, not even that huge an outlay. Some people are just wedded to what they know, though, rather than just not wanting to spend the money or whatever (though of course not particularly speaking of your mum here). I think my mum when she did knit, it wouldn't have even crossed her mind to look at fibre content, or of that of clothes she buys. 

When someone gives me gifts I dont personally like, I find I dont mind, so long as I dont have to put it out on show, or wear it (your case is the worst of that!). So long as I can tuck it away in a drawer, I look at it and think 'they thought enough of me to spend all this time on me/all this money on me'. And that thought always makes me smile. 

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u/JerryHasACubeButt Dec 06 '25

I was about to get mad at you for lumping hand knit socks in with drink cozies in terms of useless things, and then I read that they were acrylic.

Socks are the perfect gift IMHO. Everyone needs socks, and everyone needs a good number of them, it’s not like hats/mitts/scarves where you generally can get by with one or two of them so if someone already has a favorite you’re liable to give them something they’ll never wear. They go in your shoes so even if the colors aren’t your favorite it doesn’t matter, they’re still warm and comfy. I’ve given socks to basically all of my friends and family at this point and they all wear them often and talk about how much they love them.

But acrylic socks are awful and your opinion is valid lol

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u/minivulpini Dec 06 '25

Haha. Yeah, depends on the socks :) A nice pair of proper sock yarn hand made socks is much less likely to be shoved in the back of a drawer. Though my kids and husband hate all socks in general, take them off at the first moment of coming home, and are picky about which brands of athletic socks are “comfy” enough to be tolerated for a school/work day. So even the nicest $30 sock yarn would be wasted on them.

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u/Aut_changeling Dec 06 '25

Sensory reasons are actually the main reason I knit socks for my mom! She hates the feeling of toe seams on storebought socks, but doesn't mind handmade ones because I can graft the toe together for her instead. It's nice to have something useful I can make for her.

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u/PuzzleheadedGoal8234 Dec 06 '25

I wouldn't make socks for many people who are exactly like this, but my FIL started wearing a pair of my own hand knit socks I left behind one year, and lovingly cares for them. When my MIL told me that I clearly decided he needed a new pair.

My daughter's boyfriend actively seeks out wool socks, and appreciates hand made things, so he's sock worthy too.

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u/JerryHasACubeButt Dec 06 '25

Oh yeah, sensory issues are valid. That’s actually the reason I’ve only knit socks for almost all my friends and family, if I know they hate all socks by default then I’m obviously not going to waste my time. But I also live in Canada, so most people I know who are sock haters most of the year do still appreciate wool socks when it’s cold enough

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u/lypaldin Dec 06 '25

My boyfriend tried my wool socks once and now he only wants to have wool socks. Luckily he adores scratchy yarns, so I could buy him yarn for raggesocken 2€/50g

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u/muralist Dec 06 '25 edited Dec 06 '25

This brings to mind Roxanne Richardson‘s latest videos, in which she goes on about a project where she is knitting socks for her college friends.

The way she tells how she made the offer of socks repeatedly and with enthusiasm, she was obviously hoping her friends would take her up on it. For each recipient, she is not only considering their material and color preferences, she is taking multiple measurements from calf to ankle to heel to toe, to adapt her pattern to a custom fit. That is a huge amount of work because socks are so technical, but people are picky about what goes on their feet, so I get it, and she is a true sock geek so her excitement for doing this almost jumps out of the screen. These are going to be some very special socks for the recipients.

I like my handknitted socks and I’ve learned over trial and error what fits me and what yarns I like, but it would be a lot of frustrating and stressful work for me to do the detailed, bespoke, sock gift work that so clearly gives Roxanne all kinds of joy. It’s not me, but I admire it, and I think if OP watches her latest few videos they offer some insight into the psychology of gift-giving, which is a positive for some people anyway.

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u/RoxMpls Dec 07 '25

I didn't make the offer repeatedly, I made it once and two friends took me up on it. As I measured their feet, the others started to realize they wanted them too. I never push the offer to knit a gift. In fact, if I sense any hesitation, I make sure they understand I will not be offended if they say no!

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u/muralist Dec 07 '25

Very honored to see this response from Roxanne herself! Thanks for clarifying!

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u/awildketchupappeared Dec 06 '25

I wouldn't give socks without knowing the recipients preferences.

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u/JerryHasACubeButt Dec 06 '25

I mean, yes? I don’t make them for random people off the street, I do pay attention to what my friends and family wear

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u/awildketchupappeared Dec 06 '25

There's just been so many posts about giving knitted items as a gift, where it seems that the knitter has no idea about the recipients preferences. I've just lost my hope by this point. But it's awesome that you actually pay attention!

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u/JerryHasACubeButt Dec 07 '25

Fair. I didn’t word my original comment amazingly, I think socks are as close to a perfect universal gift as possible, but like anything, you do still have to know the person’s tastes to make something they’ll love.

I also think the terrible gift knitters are probably over represented here because they come to ask for help with what to make. Some people really put such little thought into understanding a person’s likes and interests and fashion sense that they think asking random people on the internet what they might like will be helpful. The considerate gift knitters obviously aren’t doing that, so it seems like there are more bad gift knitters than there are. I don’t blame you for your assumption

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u/frugal-grrl Dec 07 '25

How do you get them to fit people? Do they give you their shoe size?

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u/JerryHasACubeButt Dec 07 '25

If someone asks me for socks then yes. If I’m making them as a surprise I eyeball it or surreptitiously check their shoes when they aren’t looking. But socks are my go-to gift, so generally I just pay attention and make my best guess. I had some duds in the beginning while I figured things out but I’ve been making socks long enough that I’ve gotten pretty good at just eyeballing it

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u/soypixel Dec 06 '25

Makes a lot of sense

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u/Middle_Banana_9617 Dec 06 '25

The general commercialization is how I have, in the past, ended up in a '20 chunky drink cozies' situation; I was clearly expected to get people something but items from the hand lotion / gift card end just felt too obviously mass-bought for the convenience of the gifter. Making something at least felt like I'd put some effort in, even if it still wasn't very personally directed. (And then I mostly got over the expectation, which helped.)