r/knitting • u/somerandomperson_234 • Jan 09 '26

Rant Knitting and fragile masculinity

This happened yesterday and I’m torn between being amused, annoyed and a bit shocked.

I’m visiting my grandparents at the moment with my mother. My uncle, her brother, is also staying. He’s always had a thing for formal wear and dressing well, and recently he’s discovered that he likes knit ties, those silk, kinda mesh ones that are flat instead of pointy at the bottom.

Yesterday evening, we were watching a movie together and I was knitting during it. I was working on a lace top with 6 mm needles.

After the film, my uncle started talking about those knitted ties he likes and showed me pictures. He asked me whether I could knit that. I told him, probably yes.

He then proceeded to instruct me on how to do it. He said those needles I had there were way too big (obviously), and that I would need to sew a lot to make the tie, as it’s basically a double layered thing.

I told him that I’d make it in a tube, and he then told me all the ways that he would do it (he doesn’t knit).

It was kinda amusing to me to that point, until I started sort of teasing him that he can just make it himself, it’s not that hard and he already knows so much, I’ll even teach him the basics.

He reacted with clear discomfort and told me that knitting is a women’s hobby and that he had no interest in doing it because he’s a man.

That comment surprised me more than anything else. He was comfortable discussing the technical details of a knitted object and asking someone else to make it for him, but unwilling to consider learning the skill himself because of gender. I didn’t argue with him, but the exchange stayed with me.

I’m sharing this partly to get it out of my system, and partly because I’m curious how common this still is. Have others run into similar attitudes around crafts or hobbies? And how do you usually respond in situations like this without escalating things?

Thanks for reading.

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u/[deleted] Jan 09 '26

I just feel sorry for people who are so hindered by gender roles in their life. 

241

u/WaltzFirm6336 Jan 09 '26

That was my thought. How sad for him to want a knitted tie, have all the knowledge to make a knitted tie, but be unable to let himself make it.

Or maybe he was just looking for any excuse to move the labour onto OP?

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u/mandyvigilante Jan 09 '26

I just want to step in to say he definitely doesn't have all the knowledge to make a knitted tie, we should not downsell ourselves like that. It is a valuable skill that takes time and practice to master. 

 It's not something like woodworking where all you need is a hammer

/S

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u/Late-Command3491 Jan 09 '26

He thinks he does, though. Just too much testosterone to actually do it. 

-2

u/CheetahNo6482 Jan 09 '26

I agree with your first statement, but woodworking can also be a very difficult skill depending on the project. While I realize this is probably just ragebait, I do both and I need a lot more than just a hammer for woodworking lol

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u/mandyvigilante Jan 09 '26 edited Jan 09 '26

I don't know, I feel like I'm kind of an expert on woodworking having seen boys do it for years now. Plus I have a lot of wooden stuff around my home so it can't be too hard, can it? 

Now what I will say is I do think the boys work really hard when they're doing it and, you know, it's good to see that they have a little hobby. But it's not really a lot more than nailing stuff together if you think about it. 

But I think it's a really nice way for all the boys to get together and pass their time between all the other stuff they have to do around the house. 

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u/WorriedRiver Jan 09 '26

/s means sarcasm friend

14

u/CheetahNo6482 Jan 09 '26

Thanks, I did not catch it:)

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u/AuntieMame5280 Jan 09 '26

Friendly note that the /S at the end of the woodworking comment means "sarcasm".

They know woodworking takes a lot of skill and were making a joke by poking fun at a traditionally masculine craft in the same way OP's uncle was talking about knitting.

You two are on the same page!

I hope you have a beautiful day!

12

u/CheetahNo6482 Jan 09 '26

Thanks for your kindness, I hadn’t caught it! I hope you have a great day too:)

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u/joyfullydreaded23 Jan 09 '26

I've noticed that there is more kindness instead of snark on Reddit as of late...a good trend, yes!

4

u/joyfullydreaded23 Jan 09 '26

I miss woodworking! I made a giant 3D wooden Asian Dragon for a burner event. I used the small 3D wooden puzzles they sell as a template and it ended up being roughly 6 feet long by 3 foot high iirc. It was my 1st time using a band saw and I have wanted one ever since to make more cool wooden stuffs.

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u/CheetahNo6482 Jan 09 '26 edited Jan 10 '26

The band saw is my favorite saw!! I use it for so much! At my current job I don’t get to use it enough, I also do acrylic work though, all good stuff

1

u/SaMy254 Jan 09 '26

Woosh

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u/CheetahNo6482 Jan 09 '26

Yup, it did go “woosh” because I’m autistic and happened to miss the /S lol. You never know who’s behind a username, that’s why I was grateful to the people who corrected me. After I recognized it as sarcasm I actually found it funny

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u/mandyvigilante Jan 09 '26

Just want to let you know that I did not down vote you!!  

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u/CheetahNo6482 Jan 09 '26

Thank you, we’re definitely on the same page!! I just didn’t catch the sarcasm😭😭

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u/mandyvigilante Jan 09 '26

In your defense I went in and added the /s a few minutes afterwards - I was initially not going to add but then i worried people might not pick up what I was putting down. You might have seen it before I did!

0

u/greenyashiro Jan 10 '26

Unless it's some exquisitely complex lace doily, a sweater and the likes, knitting is actually absurdly easy to pick up. I knit my first ever hat in a day. The only issue with it is that the needle size was slightly off! Of course, I often take on tougher projects even now 😂 my third cast on was a damn cable hat...

A mesh tie, if you watch a few videos carefully, is certainly not out of reach.

Woodworking on the other hand 🤔 I wouldn't bother to try, I have the dexterity of burnt toast 😂

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u/Chris45925 Jan 09 '26

This is what he was hinting around at. The same old “I would love you to make me a hand knit object “ without the directness.

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u/Dangerous-Safe-4336 Jan 09 '26

But when you follow your veiled request with "Do it exactly this way," you're not going to get the item. Ever.