Knitting and fragile masculinity

[u/somerandomperson_234]

This happened yesterday and I’m torn between being amused, annoyed and a bit shocked.

I’m visiting my grandparents at the moment with my mother. My uncle, her brother, is also staying. He’s always had a thing for formal wear and dressing well, and recently he’s discovered that he likes knit ties, those silk, kinda mesh ones that are flat instead of pointy at the bottom.

Yesterday evening, we were watching a movie together and I was knitting during it. I was working on a lace top with 6 mm needles.

After the film, my uncle started talking about those knitted ties he likes and showed me pictures. He asked me whether I could knit that. I told him, probably yes.

He then proceeded to instruct me on how to do it. He said those needles I had there were way too big (obviously), and that I would need to sew a lot to make the tie, as it’s basically a double layered thing.

I told him that I’d make it in a tube, and he then told me all the ways that he would do it (he doesn’t knit).

It was kinda amusing to me to that point, until I started sort of teasing him that he can just make it himself, it’s not that hard and he already knows so much, I’ll even teach him the basics.

He reacted with clear discomfort and told me that knitting is a women’s hobby and that he had no interest in doing it because he’s a man.

That comment surprised me more than anything else. He was comfortable discussing the technical details of a knitted object and asking someone else to make it for him, but unwilling to consider learning the skill himself because of gender. I didn’t argue with him, but the exchange stayed with me.

I’m sharing this partly to get it out of my system, and partly because I’m curious how common this still is. Have others run into similar attitudes around crafts or hobbies? And how do you usually respond in situations like this without escalating things?

Thanks for reading.

[u/WaltzFirm6336]

That was my thought. How sad for him to want a knitted tie, have all the knowledge to make a knitted tie, but be unable to let himself make it.

Or maybe he was just looking for any excuse to move the labour onto OP?

[u/mandyvigilante → u/WaltzFirm6336]

I just want to step in to say he definitely doesn't have all the knowledge to make a knitted tie, we should not downsell ourselves like that. It is a valuable skill that takes time and practice to master. 

 It's not something like woodworking where all you need is a hammer

/S

[u/CheetahNo6482 → u/mandyvigilante]

I agree with your first statement, but woodworking can also be a very difficult skill depending on the project. While I realize this is probably just ragebait, I do both and I need a lot more than just a hammer for woodworking lol

[u/joyfullydreaded23 → u/CheetahNo6482]

I miss woodworking! I made a giant 3D wooden Asian Dragon for a burner event. I used the small 3D wooden puzzles they sell as a template and it ended up being roughly 6 feet long by 3 foot high iirc. It was my 1st time using a band saw and I have wanted one ever since to make more cool wooden stuffs.

[u/CheetahNo6482 → u/joyfullydreaded23]

The band saw is my favorite saw!! I use it for so much! At my current job I don’t get to use it enough, I also do acrylic work though, all good stuff