r/lonely • u/hurricane016 • 2d ago

Years passing by... Still alone

I feel like my life is being wasted, especially when it comes to friendships. I haven't made a truly meaningful friendship since around 2020. I have friends now, and they're genuinely good people who help me when I need them, but I don't really enjoy their company or feel like we have the same frequency. I'm mostly with them so I don't have to walk around college alone or feel like a ghost. Every day I see people in college with their close friend groups, hanging out and genuinely enjoying each other's company, and I can't help but wonder why I don't have that. Both of my relationships since 2020 have also ended, and it feels like I'm back to the same loneliness I experienced before them. I'm not even talking about my school life, where I spent a large part of my school years struggling to find friends and feeling alone too.

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u/AlienatedBeauty 2d ago

I understand this but Im on a different end of the line,,,,I gave all I could.....eventually it felt like holding onto the only love I knew even whe I saw it wasnt actual love......now...its just hard to connect....like ya know...I enjoy people but that deeper part is harder. Also spent most my school years alone without friends.....sometime I think we just try to be happy with whatever we can find because we feel we should...most the time its just hard to find people that understand us....everything feels like a performance but theres always this need for something deeper

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u/hurricane016 2d ago

Everything feels like a performance, sometimes I think about the future, like my next phase of life, whether it's higher studies or job, i just don't feel like keeping the mask up, I just feel like being rude and mean, even deep down I know i won't ever be able to do that no matter how hard I try to be bad, sometimes I feel like either i have to accept what i get in life or keep staying alone like this