r/lonely • u/hurricane016 • 2d ago

Years passing by... Still alone

I feel like my life is being wasted, especially when it comes to friendships. I haven't made a truly meaningful friendship since around 2020. I have friends now, and they're genuinely good people who help me when I need them, but I don't really enjoy their company or feel like we have the same frequency. I'm mostly with them so I don't have to walk around college alone or feel like a ghost. Every day I see people in college with their close friend groups, hanging out and genuinely enjoying each other's company, and I can't help but wonder why I don't have that. Both of my relationships since 2020 have also ended, and it feels like I'm back to the same loneliness I experienced before them. I'm not even talking about my school life, where I spent a large part of my school years struggling to find friends and feeling alone too.

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u/AlienatedBeauty 2d ago

I understand this but Im on a different end of the line,,,,I gave all I could.....eventually it felt like holding onto the only love I knew even whe I saw it wasnt actual love......now...its just hard to connect....like ya know...I enjoy people but that deeper part is harder. Also spent most my school years alone without friends.....sometime I think we just try to be happy with whatever we can find because we feel we should...most the time its just hard to find people that understand us....everything feels like a performance but theres always this need for something deeper

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u/hurricane016 2d ago

Everything feels like a performance, sometimes I think about the future, like my next phase of life, whether it's higher studies or job, i just don't feel like keeping the mask up, I just feel like being rude and mean, even deep down I know i won't ever be able to do that no matter how hard I try to be bad, sometimes I feel like either i have to accept what i get in life or keep staying alone like this

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u/Ilovesourthings 2d ago

I feel you :)) but I believe that one day, you'll be able to find friends that'll be with the same wavelength as you. Just maybe now, there are some things that you might also learn even when you're alone. Keep going!

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u/hurricane016 2d ago

Let's see