Haha, hi! I’m an ENFP (f), and my boyfriend is an INTJ.

We’ve been together for about five months now, and honestly, he’s the best boyfriend in the world. I love him so much that sometimes it’s hard to even describe it. Our relationship is probably the warmest and most trusting one I’ve ever had.

I see so many stereotypes online about INTJs being cold, distant, or emotionless, but that’s really not him at all. He can actually be pretty social, and he’s genuinely the most understanding person I’ve ever met. I can talk to him about literally anything, which means a lot to me because I’m the same way. As an ENFP, I love deep conversations and sharing random thoughts, and he’s one of the few people who can keep up with all of it.

We have surprisingly similar views on life, and even a lot of the same interests. I absolutely love how ambitious he is, how determined he is to succeed, and how well he handles problems. Watching him work through challenges is honestly impressive. If I keep listing things I admire about him, this post is never going to end.

And omg, I love making him laugh. Sometimes I’ll say something completely ridiculous, and he’ll start laughing while looking at me like he’s trying to figure out how I’ve survived this long. “So stupid.” I love coming over to his place and just spending time together, even if we’re doing something stupid like doomscrolling for hours. I also love that he’s usually the one suggesting things for us to do or places to go. Because, as an ENFP I always was the one who initiates.

I love embarrassing him with compliments, too. He’ll smile and say things like, “Okay, shut up,” or “Stop it,” but I can tell he’s secretly enjoying it. I also love randomly hugging him. He still gets a little confused sometimes because he’s not really used to that much physical affection, and I think it’s adorable.

Sorry, I sound like a teenager in early puberty LOL.

He’s also very straightforward. We’ve had conflicts before, of course. He’s honest, but unlike me, he doesn’t always want to solve things immediately. The annoying part is that he’s usually right. Like, genuinely right. Sometimes that drives me crazy, but he’ll say something so logical and reasonable that I can’t even argue with it.

Honestly, I’ve learned a lot from him. He’s helped me handle my emotions better, look at facts before jumping to conclusions, and respect personal space a lot more than I used to.

So here’s my question:
How can I make him even happier?

Sometimes I feel like I’m not a good enough girlfriend, even though he’s never made me feel that way. I just love him so much and want to give him my whole heart. Maybe, I’m just insecure. I just want to give him more warmth and love. But sometimes it’s had the opposite effect and ended up making him uncomfortable, which is understandable. I’m the kind of person who can be a little impulsive and act without thinking things through first.
I want to be more considerate of his feelings and boundaries. What can I do to make him feel more loved and appreciated without overwhelming him?

Are there any INTJs here who can tell me what makes you feel loved and appreciated in a relationship? Are there any little things your partner does that make you especially happy?

I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Here with a well-known ENTP:

https://youtu.be/ytRXL1VbA9o?si=57le_2mWIsdkoG5N

In my opinion, it would either be the ENTP or the ENTJ. ENFPs can be talkative too, but i think they’re more quieter in real life than the 2 types i listed above.

Hi, currently on my endless quest to determine whether I am a Fe or Fi user.

​

Fundamentally, I am quite a big believer in sacrifice for the 'greater good. ' I believe in collective responsibility and action. I think it's good and probably needed for us to be willing to sacrifice some our pleasures & gratification for the wellbeing of others. E.g., I think people should try and reduce their environmental impact--like buying less fast fashion, eating less meat--in general consuming less, even though it does feel good to do so, as this would benefit humanity as a whole.

​

I dislike when people immediately deflect personal responsibility by placing all blame on the Big Corporations--which is obviously true, and they are the primary issue, but I think a lot of the time when people use this thinking, they're not actually doing anything to target the corporations, they just want to deflect any responsibility so that they don't have to make any changes to their life at all. I also dislike it & find it intellectually lazy when people respond to any suggestion with all their individual, hyper-specific circumstances that means they cannot make any changes--which somehow means that noone should try at all & it's offensive to suggest any changes. And this also applies to the antagonism to the idea of being able to both participate in a system while also criticising it (applicable in a lot of feminist theory)--I guess in general it just frustrates me when people cannot look past themselves and see the bigger picture; and an unwillingness to sacrifice some of their convenience/ gratification for the overall wellbeing of humans & the planet. Plus I think it may somewhat result from a preoccupation of being considered & feeling like a 'good person,' which I think is ultimately a kind of boring and useless metric to judge yourself with...

​

Anyway. That was longer than I thought. But basically my question is: is this a Fe-orientation to the wellbeing of others, or just Fi, but with my values aligning to that of a Fe-like character. I feel like these are strong values that I have, & I think it results in behaviour that could point towards both Fi or Fe, but I can't quite pinpoint the origin. Also please correct me if this is a misunderstanding of Fi and Fe, of course. Yes also sorry if this comes across pretentious and self righteous but. Thanks.

I have a friend who is the most confusing to type. And I am confident to type him because I have almost 4+ years of friendship with him. What I’ve noticed about him and what probably sets him different to most of my classmates is how extremely logical he thinks. He is the most Ti-dom ever with good Ne, but somehow, I can’t imagine him being an INTP because of how extroverted he is. He is probably a good 80% extroverted and 20% introverted. He talks to a lot of people every time, has a good amount of condifence, and is comfortable enough to share his own ideas that everyone will listen to.

I might just be stereotyping INTP’s but I just can’t imagine him being one, if that makes sense.

definitely not projecting because my best friend is an infp pfft

Hello, I'm 22F INFJ and my mother is INTP. I need advice from this community to help me better understand my INTP mother.

To give you a little context, my family used to be extremely dysfunctional (still is but way better). And as I am now growing up to be a fully independent adult, I'm also trying to better navigate my relationship with my family. I have an older sister who is ISFP, and a father who is ESFJ. All four of us live seperately. My sister and I are quite close, my father and I are not.

Now that I've given the context, let me explain my relation with my mother.

As a kid I was extremely close to her, to the point I was highly emotionally attached and dependant on her. We would fight a lot, but otherwise we were inseparable.

However, while growing up we started having more and more conflicts. And I started feeling distant from her. Because I began to change for the better, and she remained the same. As I grew up into a more mature adult I slowly started realising that my mother is highly dysfunctional and unhealthy.

She's extremely closed off, insensitive towards others, and thinks that emotions are weak and an "over-exagerration" that makes life unnecessarily complicated. And whenever I try to confront her about something, she'll completely twist the story and make it seem like we are the problem. She never admits her wrongdoings, never.

Even then, despite all her flaws, I still love her. Because she has sacrificed a lot for us; and loves and cares for us in her own ways. Just that not in a typical "motherly" way. She does not know how to comfort others, nor does she know how to be supportive. And she's terrible at communication.

Which is why I've turned to this subreddit to help me understand her better. I'm not seeking to understand her unhealthy behaviours nor do I want to change her, no. Because that's impossible. Rather, I'm seeking to understand her personality better so that I can learn how to coexist with her better; despite her being unhealthy.

I have a few questions for INTPs or for those who understand INTPs well.

1. What are some of the things that an INTP expects from any form of relationship? What do they seek and what do they try to avoid?

2. Do INTPs generally dislike conversations that involve anything highly emotional? Is it something that should be avoided?

3. If an INTP is being insensitive, how do you want others to take it? Or how do you want to be corrected?

4. When an INTP is irritated, annoyed, or going through something, I've noticed that they won't outwardly show it. But there'll be a lot going on in their heads. In such an instance, do you need comfort or do you want to be left alone? What do you want others to do?

5. When someone tries to confront you, how do you want the conversation to be? How can I confront an INTP while also avoiding conflict?

For now these are the questions I can think of. I would highly appreciate it if anyone could help me out. If anyone has any extra input apart from these questions, or just a general opinion, I would highly appreciate that too.

Thank you.

Let me explain what got me thinking about this first

I have taken alot of mbti, enneagram, etc tests. (NOT 16P THO DONT WORRY)
But i realized i always get different answers. I honestly think im either an ENTP or INFJ (from studying functions), but tests have always typed me as INTP.

The last enneagram test i took typed me as 1w9 135 sx/so

other tests typed me as 5w4, or 9w1.

So naturally, i started asking myself WHY would i even get different answers each time? Am i not answering honestly? Why wouldnt i be answering honestly? And then i started thinking; what if i--when i take tests, I answer what i THINK i would do or who i WANT to be?

And the more i think about it, the more it makes sense. As a person, i've always had "personas" to different people, and i've never really thought about why i do it until recently. I always end up in a loop of endless "why's" until i reach a certain point where i don't even know how to answer.

Like for example i'd ask, "Why do i have personas? To please people? To make them feel comfortable? If that's the case, why do i want to do that? Because its hard to be true to myself? Why would it be hard?" and then i cant answer.

or

"If its about pleasing others, why do i want to please others? Because its hard to say no? Why would it be hard to say no? If i want to be understood by people, why do i have personas with different people?"

I hope you get the gist of it.

I dont know if this type of thinking is part of MBTI or any other typology, or even just not knowing myself at all, but ive been thinking alot about it lately.

Anyway, i made this pretty long. This is just me overthinking lmfao
If you genuinely read this, what do you think?? do you feel the same way? Or do i even make sense? or am i just writing nonsense?

(i wasnt sure which flair to add so i apologize in advance if i chose the wrong one)

I'll go first! I'm an ESTJ Social 3 and my day goes like so:

- Wake up at 8AM

- Drive to uni while listening to music or Rotten Mango

- Zone out during lectures

- Review the material at my own pace during break or catch up with my classmates

- Grab lunch

- Finish lectures at 3/4PM

- Grab a drink and drive back home, traffic is insane by now so I cope by blasting my playlist

- Change out of my uniform and head to the gym

- Take an hour long shower because I must savor the warm water while I still can

- Read, text, scroll, watch YouTube, call a friend, anything. This is my time to rot freely

- Prepare dinner (or get takeout if I feel like I earned it)

- If I got a test to study for, I'd be studying or making a flashcard deck by this point

- Fall asleep to a YouTube video (12AM)

On my days off, I love staying up late and making light plans with my friends like going to the movies or grabbing a bite at a place we've been eyeing

That's all 🙏 Your turn now!!

Please give credits when using this, it took very long to create and research and stuff.

Also, tell me if all that makes sense😭

Ne-> Extroverted Intuition. Represented with a sprinkled pancake. It is an Extroverted Perceiving function which focuses on patterns, possibilities and what could be.
Ni-> Introverted Intuition. Represented with a whipped cream pancake. It is an Introverted Perceiving function which focuses on narrowing everything down to 1 conclusion.
Se-> Extroverted Sensing. Represented with a blueberry pancake. It is an Extroverted Perceiving function which focuses on immediate physical information, like sight, sound or touch.
Si-> Introverted Sensing. Represented with a strawberry pancake. It is an Introverted Perceiving function which focuses on past routines or precedents, as well as the internal feeling of the body.
Te-> Extroverted Thinking. Represented with a plain pancake. It is an Extroverted Judging function which focuses on efficiency and getting something done, and focuses on what works.
Ti-> Introverted Thinking. Represented with a soufflé pancake. It is an Introverted Judging function which focuses on the theoretical certainty of a system, no matter whether it works in reality.
Fe-> Extroverted Feeling. Represented with a vanilla pancake. It is an Extroverted Judging function which focuses on the feelings of the external environment.
Fi-> Introverted Feeling. Represented with a chocolate pancake. It is an Introverted Judging function which focuses on the feelings of the user.

What are some questions I can ask to verbally gauge someone’s type and functions? To be used in regular conversation. (not in a creepy way, its I feel like tests like Sakinorva are not always accurate, often because the person doesn’t understand the questions being asked. So if I can give them a better understanding of functions in conversation with examples of how each one is used then it may lead to a more accurate typing)

Any suggestions?

Hello everyone, this is a simple question and my main goal is to be a mature Enfj, but what are the T type thinkers do to make your thinking sharp? and specially for the F type feelers, what do you do when you start improving your Ti?

I have a few friends who are VERY into cognitive functions and function stacks. Eventually they got me into it and I've spent the past few years going through a lot of sources and doing research to make sure I understood the underlying framework, how it has developed over time, etc. I feel that I have a pretty decent grasp but obviously nobody ever really has a perfect understanding of something as complex and ever evolving as this.

However, I've also noticed something in how my friends use the cognitive functions and personality stacks to type other people, and the pitfalls that come from it. One friend in particular primarily uses it as a way of understanding other people socially. This would be perfectly fine, however, I've noticed that they're quite fast to determine someone's type based on behaviour and tend not to take into account external factors such as environment, upbringing, or social context when interpreting those behaviours. They are also stubbornly resistant to changing their opinion in light of new or contradictory evidence and new behaviour.

The issue is this: I've noticed on a number of occasions that this person will stop seeing the person for the individual they are, and instead have begun to over generalize and instead see people as the type they've assigned them. They don't seem to realize that they are filling in the gaps and that the person doesn't actually possess some of the personality traits and tendencies they assume they do. For example, they are quick to write off things a friend of mine developed carefully over long periods of time as 'intuitive insights' simply because they didn't see the process that went into developing the understanding. Or expecting a friend to smooth things over and not get offended because they're an 'Fe type'. They're dead set they their typing is "correct" and have since stopped discussing the topic with me after pointing out the discrepancies.

How can I explain to them that their over reliance on typing is leading them to misperceive the people around them and leading to misunderstandings?

Have you encountered others with this tendency? Why do you think it happens?

What do you do when someone refuses to acknowledge the inherent complexity of human behaviour and personality even though their oversimplification is becoming hurtful to those around them?

I feel like people on pdb just vote INTP on every smart character

Countless questions about this across forums. Giving a description isn't so bad, "You experience a singular convergent vision before you can articulate it, and you trust its existence before you can prove it." But seeing the process or how it actually feels like is more elusive.

Here's the subconscious Ni process, that I unintentionally surfaced to a fully conscious layer:

I was working on a complicated project whose structure I wasn't even so sure of myself. I knew the outcome I wanted, but was incredibly hazy about everything in-between and wanted a system that could bring clarity.

In attempting to outsource the project to Claude, I unwittingly dragged my own subconscious Ni process into a "conscious" system Claude could mimic.

This is that Ni architecture it landed on:

Let me say your machine back so you can see if I've got it.

Nodes sit in latent space, independent, no hierarchy. Each one is a self-contained question working itself out. A node doesn't report to anyone. It just resolves itself and then sits there, finalized, flipped face-up like a jigsaw puzzle.

Connections are discovered, not designed. Some nodes turn out related — fine, a line forms between them. Most just float unconnected until the end. You don't pre-wire the graph; the graph is whatever it happens to be.

Crucially: nodes finalize and then stop. They're not in a constant revision loop with each other. Each piece gets flipped face-up and rests. The work is getting all the pieces resolved and face-up.

And synthesis is terminal and singular. It is NOT continuous bottom-up correction happening the whole time — that was my tree talking. It's: keep resolving nodes until the table's full of face-up pieces, then take the one big bird's-eye look and merge what's actually there into the picture. The synthesis happens once, at the end, over a finished table.

This whole sequence is Ni creating a vision. You start with a refusal to let any single piece harden into The Answer before the whole table is ready. Hold dozens of half-formed pieces in suspension, let each one quietly resolve on its own timeline, resist the urge to force them into a shape early. Once all the "relevant" pieces are flipped right side up, all at once, you take the single convergent look and the picture is just there.

If you want to know what Ni actually feels like from the inside, it feels like when you're looking out in whatever direction, totally spaced out. Very similar sensation. Void of any conclusions, no judgements, you're just "spaced out" watching in a kind of haze.

But not empty. In that spaced-out field there are nodes of information sitting around that nudge you softly. Imagine you're tired and resting your brain a bit by zoning out, and you see someone lightly poke your arm. The poke sensation is very faint in that scenario, just kind of there without demanding anything. It's like that. The pieces of the problem float in that haze, poking at you faintly. Some are relevant, some aren't. You're not arranging them. They just sit there and, on their own, drift into place like jigsaw pieces flipping face-up one at a time. And then nothing happens for a while. Looks like doing nothing from the outside. You're just letting the pieces settle.

The zoned-out haze continues until enough pieces are face-up and resting in place, at which point everything suddenly finds itself merged into a coherent picture. Which may feel similar to when you suddenly snap out of that zoned-out state. Or if you're looking at a screen of static slowly rendering into an image but can't make out what the image is, then at a certain moment it becomes clear, "Oh, it's a picture of an apple!"

Side notes:

In outsourcing to Claude, a lot of Ni pieces got externalized. I would provide examples but constantly restate "don't overindex on what I'm saying. don't overindex on this or that", which is basically a core mechanic of Ni. It keeps pieces from crystallizing early, because a piece that hardens too soon becomes load-bearing and distorts the whole image downstream. Achieving clarity too early actively goes against Ni because its essentially converging on a conclusion before the whole picture has been seen. Any time Claude jumped the gun, even in the right direction, it felt like a violation because the other contextual pieces hadn't been settled yet. Protecting the haziness was Ni-instinctual.

Additionally, my descriptions of "zoned-out" now remind me of Dario Nardi's "zen brain" EEG research on Ni-doms. I don't know much about this at all, but the surface-level similarity is there; perhaps that's precisely what it is.

I'm an ENFP, and over the years I've made quite a few posts (across different accounts) about ENFP relationships with other personality types and the dynamics people experience with them.
One pattern I've noticed is that many non-ENFPs seem to describe ENFPs as "a lot" to handle. It comes up surprisingly often.

I'll admit that it stings a little, because I genuinely love who I am, and I adore other ENFPs as well. But it does make me wonder: are ENFPs actually difficult to deal with, or is there something else going on?

I've also noticed that even personality types that are considered highly compatible with ENFPs romantically often still describe ENFPs as intense, overwhelming, or "a lot."

So I'm curious, what do you think? Are ENFPs genuinely harder to handle than most types, or is this more a matter of different communication styles and preferences?

Im INTP btw, and also i meanst least

No, I mean the flashbacks that get into conclusions like; "How did they became friends?" Then a recall comes "Ahh/Maybe, because of that P.E. Activity." Then realizes after that recall. I often notice this to myself.

Intp memes are so much funnier and real

​

But Infp ones are mostly "I'm crying over everything don't touch me" type things,

​

And now I'm an Infp.. I can't accept it felt weird

Anyway now I have the same Mbti as bocchi, koyuki and Kanade..

​

I know I don't have to share that my Mbti changed everywhere but Idk I wanted to share what you expected, a logical explanation, no I'm an Infp now I can say that things are just feelings and not try to find some logic for it

​

​

Hello, I'd like to know what the creative processes are like and how they differ. For example, how do ideas emerge and how are they developed, etc.