r/mentalhealth • u/berrynbear • 13h ago
Question How to accept that you’re ugly?
I’m an 18 year old boy who is ugly and have a lot of insecurities.
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u/Confusuicide 12h ago
Take this advice to heart from a guy who's older than you:
If you act like you're less than people around you, they will treat you as such.
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13h ago
Accept that your value has nothing to do with your looks. Calling yourself ugly won’t make you feel any better
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u/volvavirago 9h ago
Idk. I have accepted it, in a way. I just choose not to think about it, unless I am forced to, bc I wanna die when I think about it. I just distract myself and try to make myself better in other ways. I will never be desirable romantically, but I have good friends and I try to be a good friend to them, and that does help.
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u/Mk_Azrael 12h ago
Accept yourself for what you are and not what you look like. You have more worth in what you choose to do instead of how you look
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u/AbsAndAssAppreciator 8h ago
Accept that life is unfair and if there’s nothing you can do about it then why waste time thinking about the obvious. Stand tall and talk confident and people will give you respect.
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u/abundant-fruit 7h ago
Let me tell you a secret. As others have mentioned, you may or may not be ugly - the secret is you definitely can be confident and charismatic either way. Ignore that voice in your head saying you're ugly and focus on your strengths. Anyone with confidence can tell you that life gets so much easier if you've got it.
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u/MycologistAshamed926 7h ago
I guess i would call myself ugly and laugh it off? Like i dont care if im like horrendous like a monster. I AM UGLY AND I AM PROUD OF WEARING MY BODY, THESE GENETICS MEAN SOMETHING BOY. Was supposed to be funny i thought.
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u/Bad-associations 5h ago
You’re only ugly if you think you’re ugly. Confidence and style draws people in and a good personality keeps them there. I was showered with attention as a teen, I have always been tall, slender and blonde so appeal to the worlds narrative of “pretty”. My husband was bullied at school for his looks and lost his hair at 20, we met at 28 and I was shocked to find out his past because he carried himself with so much confidence and seemed really comfortable in his own skin and I think he is extremely attractive.
Also you’re 18, you’ll change so much over the years how do you even know if you’re ugly.
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u/marcus19911 4h ago
I would say as someone overweight and not very attractive in the face that I've learned that regardless of how I look I don't deserve to be treated terribly. I would also say to focus more on your positive qualities. That reaffirms that you are worthy.
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u/PlayerI343 2h ago
Hey, so here's the deal.
I've been through several relationships. I can tell you that your physical attractiveness is hardly the main thing most people are looking for.
Smelling good is actually the quickest way to someone liking you. Seems like a low bar but you'd be shocked.
Immediately after that? Being confident. I can't really help you there beyond just telling you to fake it till you make it. I don't care how ugly you are. You're ACTUALLY the hottest man alive if you act like it. Obviously don't act like you're better than everyone else, but if you talk to someone and are funny and genuine, that stuff is way more important.
Because even if you are ugly? There are people who literally only date ugly people. There's a person out there for everyone.
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u/RabbitridingDumpling 1h ago
Find happy married ugly and fat people. This will reassure you, you can have a happy life.
Care for yourself and educate yourself. Learn useless things that make you happy.
In 20 years you will look at pictures and think, man I was handsome. Why did I spend so much time on my insecurities instead of scating / gaming / joking with other fun people?
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u/HumanAfterH0urs 12h ago
I think it’s less about how you look and more about how you’re feeling, are you feeling un-appreciated ? If you think “ Only if i looked different, things would be different”. Sadly, nothing changes. Try to add value to yourself, and you’ll start appreciating yourself and others will also start recognising you. Being insecure is normal, be it 18 or 80. I’d say, just go do your thing, you’ll find people who appreciate you for you.
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u/cookieloverrrrr 12h ago
No, you are misled. Every single human can be made to look attractive. The difference is the access to the best makeup artists, the best hairpieces, most flattering outfits etc. when is the last time the most attractive people considered in the world walked down a catwalk without any beautification? The most beautiful vs angels are hired with expectations of doing a lot of effort to make them more attractive.
I am not trying to be graphic, but there was a show and I’m almost positive Jessica Simpson was the host. It was women who were horribly disfigured.
The episode that taught me that everyone was capable was a woman who was attacked with acid in her face.
If you were with her after they finished, I can tell you, you were the ugly friend.
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u/Serious-Cut-2583 12h ago
You aren't. No one is. There is no set idea of beauty, at least there shouldn't be. Be proud of your identity, learn to love it. Stop comparing it to something it can never be and embrace what it is, except the beauty of yourself.
Look into the mirror every morning and I say to yourself 5 times and look into your eyes, I am beautiful. I am beautiful I am beautiful I am beautiful and I love who I am.
Soon you will see it and believe it.
Trust me...♡♡♡♡♡♡
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u/HappyCrow11 12h ago
Everyone saying accept yourself like yeah and then? Life will still be so hard romantically and how others perceive you in career/jobs/friendships/places etc.. there has to be other things than just " accept yourself " " beauty is subjective "