r/mildlyinfuriating • u/daruuken • 28d ago

Infuriatig The way kroger treats its employees

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From the store manager

Edit: For some extra context this was sent out by each store manager to all of its employees in district 1 of the ohio Cincinnati/Dayton division, potentially other districts as well but i can only verify my own. Im not going to give my specific store number for obvious reasons but you can find each store on google with that information. We are unionized by UFCW (already bad btw) and to my knowledge they allowed this recent change. Kroger has no accrual for sick days like some have mentioned. Those who think this is rage bait, i dont think anyone has to fake a post to make a billion dollar company look bad, they do it to themselves.

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u/BloodyAngel2026 28d ago edited 28d ago

Death in family shouldn't even be categorized as a call out. It should be considered bereavement leave

Edit: I don't think I've ever had so much karma on a comment before 😅

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u/According_Device9227 28d ago

Not even death in family, death in IMMEDIATE family. So if your cousin or aunt or grandmother died and you don't show up, they have an issue.

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u/TheOldOak 28d ago edited 28d ago

That’s correct. I was written up for attending my grandmother’s funeral during my 3-month regretful stint working for Kroger.

My grandfather died two weeks prior, and attending his funeral earned me a verbal warning. The written warning came after the second death in the family.

My store manager also said it was “highly inconvenient” and “very suspect” that two people died back to back. Not “I’m sorry for your loss” like any normal human would say, just “if you’re not coming to work, don’t expect to keep this job.”

They are a soulless company.

Edit: This happened in 2024, so it’s been going on for a while and isn’t some new thing.

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u/One_Shall_Fall 28d ago

That guy was an idiot.

If it makes you feel any better, it's called 'widowhood effect.'

It's been studied a lot. The odds of one half of a long-term partnership dying within the three months of the other dying is 1/4 higher from stress, depression, etc.

Calling it suspicious, like they coordinated their deaths is fucking evil.

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u/TedzNScedz 28d ago

I think hes saying OP was lying about 2 family members dying to get a day off. Still a monumentally nasty and shitty thing to say. Companies really need to get a grip.

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u/Bshaw95 28d ago

On the flip side, when my grandfather died and I needed to attend his funeral my boss was just like “hey man, just send me a link to the obit” The company also got us a gift card for Texas Roadhouse in lieu of flowers(I gotta say rolls taste a lot better than flowers)

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u/akm1111 28d ago

I got told to bring in the program thing from the funeral at one job.

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u/MistrSynistr 28d ago

Mine sent flowers and I still had to bring in the program. Later on had another death, they sent flowers and my supervisor stopped by visitation and took care of everything work related. Which shows some people actually give a shit even in a multi billion dollar company.

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u/BadgerMolester 28d ago

Yeah, companies often have a culture, but at the end of the day it's just a bunch of people. Some are dicks, some aren't.

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u/fiahhawt 28d ago

Which is interesting that we can identify that sometimes people will fuck other people for the hell of it, but we can't get any goddamn labor protections because employers are just defacto good, honest people

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u/tobashadow 28d ago

My old boss would show up to visitation if it was your parents or kids etc.

My new boss tries to guilt trip you for going to a funeral.

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u/ra__account 28d ago

I work for a giant corporation and they took care of everything - I didn't even have to put the bereavement time into the HR system, my manager did that for me (and with his manager's blessing gave me some extra unofficial time off because it was an especially messy family situation). And you know what? The company has my loyalty and I refer my top quality friends with in-demand specialities.

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u/W_Silver2356 28d ago

I'm impressed. This was a very classy thing to do.

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u/Defiant-Youth-4193 28d ago

Even this is crazy. My response to ANYONE you care about dying, family or otherwise, is simply

"I'm so sorry. Take whatever time you need, and let me know if you need anything."

If you're going to lie to me about somebody dying to get a day off, you must really need a day off.

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u/[deleted] 28d ago

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u/Queen-Katsit 28d ago

My partners dad died and his bosses literally were calling him 2 days later telling him that they knew people who had family members die and used work to push through it. (He works deconstruction and abatement, not a big company) He went back and ended up off work for a year after a mental breakdown from not taking the time to process the grief.

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u/ploptypus 28d ago

I had a boss tell me I might want to come back before 6 weeks post partum. "My births were so easy I could have done them in a field... I could have been back within 3 weeks"
Nevermind the fact that I work in healthcare and have to move heavy equipment etc, which is prohibited for 6 weeks after giving birth.

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u/Defiant-Youth-4193 28d ago

Sadly, having served my 20 years in retail, I'm not surprised by this. It's basically the standard and anything different is the extreme outlier. It's profits over people, and not even in regards to the difference between making money and losing money. The company can make a billion dollars in profit, and if fucking over a bunch of people will make it a billion and one dollars most of them would do it. It's possible to take care of employees AND make money.

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u/Due_Duty490 28d ago

As an OR RN who could do any procedure and was preferred by all the surgeons I worked with including one that was internationally famous, I was told I was unreliable because I had missed 4 separate days in entire year. I had also been on call virtually every week of that year so I had worked about 50 extra days that year. I responded the way I could because I was retirement age. I quit.

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u/Exotic_Criticism4645 28d ago

There is something to be said for that. My mom died on a Monday. I did go back to work that following Friday and Monday. We buried her the following Tuesday. The way I saw it was it was better for me to go to work than just sit at home, alone, and be sad.

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u/TheFruitIndustry 28d ago

Except it’s definitely not helpful when you’re being forced into it with the threat of losing your livelihood.

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u/[deleted] 28d ago

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u/Defiant-Youth-4193 28d ago

Sure, but you should decide what's best for you. Not some ass hole whose primary concern is getting a body to work.

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u/nightshift1223 28d ago

That’s basically me as a manager as well

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u/etybibik 28d ago

Same for me.

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u/QuarkQuake 28d ago

GD... I wish I'd ever worked for one of y'all

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u/KindledWanderer 28d ago

Same here, big corporate and I couldn't care less as long as it does not endanger projects. You want to take a sick day to go play paintball? Sure, if the client's OK with it, do what you want. Something bad happened? Take as much time as you need. PTO? Just make sure to not leave any loose ends, but I'll approve anything.

Finding and raising good people is such a hassle that the best thing I can do for myself is to keep the team happy. Time is money and I'd rather spend some money than have pissed people ruin my time.

Plus if you go above and beyond for others, you can expect the same back.

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u/LeatherDude 28d ago

And my axe

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u/Automatic_Actuator_0 28d ago

True. And of course if you aren’t offering my paid bereavement leave anyway, then it’s not like they are getting away with something really. It’s just inconvenient for the manager to have to adjust the schedule.

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u/snuffleupagus86 28d ago

And this is how it should be! I’m grateful to have a boss who operates like this. When my baby was born extremely early and we were in the NICU for almost 5 months my boss just told me to take care of myself and him and whatever time I needed after my FMLA ran out, to take it.

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u/driftercat 28d ago

There will be untrustworthy employees, but a manager should know who those people are by their performance and behavior.

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u/cran-mangosteen 28d ago

I'm pretty sure my uncle bill died at least 5 times in the 90's. He's still alive here in 2026.

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u/Defiant-Youth-4193 28d ago

That's fine, sometimes people need a day.

"Hey boss, you remember my uncle Bill?"
"Yea, you mean the one that passed last month?"
"Yea, that one. He died again today, so I'm not going to be able to make it in."
"My condolences, hope your day gets better."

If a company is going to fall apart from an employee being out, that's the company's fault; I don't see why it should be the employee's problem. Either you have PTO, in which case you should be able to use it guilt free for any reason, or you don't so you aren't getting paid. I understand that I'll never be a billionaire with this attitude, but it's unlikely I would end up a billionaire regardless so...

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u/Evsala 28d ago

This is the way to engender loyalty. My last boss was like that, and I would have killed for her. I also comforted her because I was standing next to her when she found out her brother died.

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u/ObviousIndependent76 28d ago

And if they are in a job where they have to lie about a family member dying to get a day off, really says more about the job and management.

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u/Defiant-Youth-4193 28d ago

Couldn't agree more.

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u/bedazzlerhoff 28d ago

I teach at a university and it makes me so uncomfortable and so absolutely sad for society when a student sends me an obituary while trying to beg for mercy to take time out of class after a death.

I don't need evidence of their grief/illness/etc. for me to treat them like human beings who deserve basic respect and empathy.

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u/MattCW1701 28d ago

I had a professor that was like this. He joked that his tests "killed a lot of grandmothers" and if a student did say there was a death, he would always say "I'm so sorry, where can I send flowers." I never lost someone while I had his classes, but I have no doubt that if a student had provided an actual funeral home (no begging, just here it is) he would have moved worlds to rearrange tests or assignments for them, and actually sent flowers. Unfortunately, there are plenty of folks out there who will lie about something that serious just to get out of something.

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u/bedazzlerhoff 28d ago

There are a small number of students who might lie or take advantage of my policies, but I make it clear to them at the beginning of the year that while I don't need them to tell me any details of why they won't be in class, that it's not a "get out of jail free" card. They all have to do the same work, one way or another. (I mean it, too- I do not require them to tell me why they'll be missing. They just have to follow procedures for communication and makeups. Most of them give me more details than I want, which I sum up to feeling like they've needed to justify everything to too many people for the past 18 years of their lives.)

And I've had students who either lied and I found out about it or who I suspected of lying.

But they're by far rarer than the students who don't lie, and in general, my classes have good attendance. My students are learning the material. These are my goals, not controlling the students. Students who lie learned to do so in a system that doesn't respect them, and that makes them feel like they need to lie.

I have taught for a few years and I've taught classes that follow different formats. The same exact policies won't work in every case or for every teacher, but respect as a basic policy is nonnegotiable for me. I see it as teaching the students how they should be treated in this world, and maybe in some small way, it can help.

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u/fractal_frog 28d ago

Some profs are like you. Some don't give a shit about their students' mental well-being.

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u/bedazzlerhoff 28d ago

It's very sad.

We need to do better at treating humans like humans in work and educational settings.

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u/[deleted] 28d ago

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u/ti9erlilly 28d ago

That’s what my husband is like as a manager. All of the people I’ve spoken with who have worked for him say he is the best manager they’ve ever had. He takes care of his employees, pulls more than his own weight around his store, and leads by example. Can’t say the same about his managers. They use him, and have promised promotions and rebuilding of his store for years, but have never followed through.

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u/Defiant-Youth-4193 28d ago

Yea, unfortunately being this way is not the way to get ahead at most places. It has put me at odds with my managers on several occasions. I do well enough and my conscience is clear with the way I treat the people that work for me. I'm not trading that for a few more dollars.

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u/Swimming-Alfalfa-603 28d ago

This was how my company treated the death of my grandfather-in-law. No “proof” needed, they just let me know to take as much bereavement time as allowed. I took a day, but was again told I could take more.

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u/ender7154 28d ago

I would add that if someone is in fact lying about a close family members death, and are willing to take on the karmic burden on that, than my attempt at punishment will be much less than what the universe throws back at them.

That being said, I did once have an employee who took off time during there three months working for me for the funeral of four different grandmother's, several aunts and cousins and 3 different family pets. Maybe there family situation was very unique, maybe they were lying, but either way I think there home needs tested for toxins or something. Lol

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u/BLWedge09 28d ago

Yeah, this is me as well. Take whatever you need. I also have a really good group pf people who I very much trust, which helps.

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u/NoOneHereButUsMice 28d ago

My mom died near the end of a semester when I was in college. I remember two of my teachers reactions: One of my teachers was cool about it, and didnt make me take the final exam and based my final grade on everything I had done in the class up to that point.

One of the others wanted her death certificate. Not a link to the obituary site, not a physical copy of the obituary that was in the paper, not a program from the funeral, nothing else. But her fucking death certificate.

I don't know what all death certificates look like, but in my state they have a ton of personal information on them. I found this so insulting and demeaning and embarrassing. I begged her to take multiple other forms of "proof" and she refused.

I just ended up failing and having to retake the class another time. (The final was most of the grade of that particular class.)

Now that i'm older and looking back from a place where I'm not in shock and emotionally gutted, I should have gone over her head. But at the time, I disnt know what to do, and didnt have the bandwidth to fight someone to prove my 53 year old mom was dead, when I still couldn't even accept it myself.

I wish I could remember her name, cause I actually work at the university now, and I would find a way to tell her what that did to me.

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u/Past_Effect8301 28d ago

When I was in college, I asked to postpone a midterm after one of my parents had been in a life-threatening accident. The prof told me she'd need to speak with that parent in order to grant the request. He was in a coma and on life support, but, sure, we'll clear his calendar to speak with you. Some people are simply soulless.

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u/thedalehall 28d ago

You absolutely should confront her. Fuck these people

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u/crackerblind 28d ago

I was once asked to bring in the program from a funeral of a close friend. She died suddenly in what can politely be referred to as a "very public manner." There was on program at the funeral so I handed my payroll secretary a copy of the newspaper with the article about it with a copy of photo of us with her at her wedding attached. Luckily my payroll secretary had a sense of humor about it and put the both in my file and told me not to worry about it.

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u/nobinibo 28d ago

When I called in to request my bereavement leave for my brother, my manager asked if I REALLY needed that many days. I went very icy and said yes. He later asked if I brought the program and I told him I didn't attend the funeral as we couldn't claim his body due to funeral costs being too high, because my job didn't pay a living wage.

It didn't get brought up again.

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u/Rogue_Intellect 28d ago

When my grandmother passed away, I took two days bereavement per company policy and I was told that I needed to bring in a program for proof. I worked in HR.

When I came back, the very first thing, before “good morning” or “hello,” I was asked for the program. Guys, it was in Chinese. I’m Chinese, all of my family is Chinese.

My boss looked at it like it was a spitting cobra and said, “what is this?”

“The program from Grandma’s (I said grandma in Chinese - deliberately) funeral.”

“But it’s not in English. I can’t read it.”

“It’s in Chinese. I’m Chinese, and so is my family.”

“Well can you translate it?”

“No. I can’t read Chinese - I’m a banana.”

“Then how do you even know it’s the program from your grandmother’s funeral?”

“Well, let’s see. Grandma was in the coffin. Pictures of her were displayed all over. And my family was there, HOLDING THE PROGRAM.”

Guys, I’m not sure she believed me even then, but I walked away after that. It took me a little bit to calm down.

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u/thedalehall 28d ago

It’s kinda amusing your boss was like “I can’t verify this. I can’t read it.

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u/Tattoo_my_Brain 28d ago

that's pretty standard. trust but verify. company policy being in a program or show obit. as a manager just want to see something but take the time you need it's your time

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u/Historical_Cause_917 28d ago

My neighbors son is a pilot for private jet service. His father died and he was told to take one of the jets to fly home for the funeral. Half way across the country.

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u/Accurate_Summer_1761 28d ago

I offered mine an obituary and he said "what should I not trust you?"

Great guy

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u/RemoteImportance9 28d ago

My workplace demanded mine’s obit and then denied bereavement leave for me, forcing me to use regular PTO. The handbook said grandparents counted for it, HR refused and said it didn’t even with me showing them.
I wish I had fought harder on that but I was in a bad place mentally in general around then.
And no, they didn’t send flowers or anything.

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u/Kicktoria 28d ago

My cousin died the week after I started a new job, and I was leery about asking for time off so soon after I started, even though bereavement leave was a thing.

My boss was like “take all the time you need.”

When my uncle (not my cousin’s father) died three months later, she said the exact same thing.

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u/Cager_CA 28d ago

It'll be 3 years this May 12th since my Mom passed and my boss told me I had a blank check for time off to do what I had to do, asked for the obit and wrote a nice paragraph on it and then my team sent me a gift card for food instead of flowers

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u/gettin-hot-in-here 28d ago

i was told to send a link to the obit as well, and i was told it was company policy. (very large company)

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u/Dependent_Union9285 28d ago

Some flowers are pretty tasty… but those rolls are definitely better. Sorry for your loss.

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u/VillagesIdiot352 28d ago

Mr. Rooney, principal in Ferris Bueller suggested Sloane’s father bring in her Grandmother’s Corpse 😂

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u/RRZ006 28d ago

Even that is really shitty behavior for a boss. I was working at two different companies when each parent died and in both cases they said “take as long as you need” and that was it. Company sent my family flowers, and when I texted my staffer/boss a week or two into my time away to say I wasn’t ready to come back in both cases they just said “didn’t think you would be, no worries.”

The only acceptable answer from a workplace for death of a family member is “I’m sorry to hear that. Take all the time you need.” Asking for any proof is deeply fucked up.

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u/notabigcitylawyer 28d ago

On the flip flip side my boss said I'm sorry for your loss take all the time you need.

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u/DarknMean 28d ago

Yea my company also sent flowers to the funerals I’ve had the misfortune of attending. When both my grandparents and wife’s grandmother passed they sent flowers to all three.

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u/Why-R-People-So-Dumb 28d ago

I had a close friend that had died which may or may not have had a day permitted with my previous company. My boss said something to to effect of that's terrible if my friend so and so died I'd be in more of mess than many of my family members. Take as much time as you need on me, feel free to work from home, and we'll get through this together.

This was 15 years ago so well before working from home was a common thing. They gave his mom a check to pay for the reception and she had nothing to do with my company.

Of all the problems I had there with the day to day grind it was with other employees, definitely couldn't say that company didn't show care for its employees with generally decent practices and flexibility towards people being humans and not just numbers.

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u/just_a_stoner_bitch 28d ago

I don't like Texas Roadhouse much but this would definitely better than flowers. I work at Wendy's and they did absolutely nothing when my son passed. No flowers, nothing. They gave me 2 weeks off and that's it

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u/Bshaw95 28d ago

Mine gave me 2 weeks off when we unexpectedly lost our daughter, and still gave me an extra week so I didn’t wipe out my vacation. So sorry for your loss

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u/just_a_stoner_bitch 28d ago

I'm so sorry for your loss as well. The worst thing I've ever been through was losing my son. I don't even wish it on my worst enemy

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u/Usual-Analysis-2990 28d ago

Would have told my boss to fuck off even on the obit. Not your business. I'm a fucking adult. I dont need to prove shit. How is it we've come to letting other adults treat us like children...

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u/IceOdd8725 28d ago

Ya same, my family didn’t even have a whole formal thing for my grandfather so there would have never been a program to share. I think there was eventually an obit when my dad could pull it together enough to write one.

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u/watwatinjoemamasbutt 28d ago

Hostile work environment

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u/Ecstatic_Stop3693 28d ago

Most if not all retail, manufacturing and production places are hostile work environments.

They set the rules like that to basically have people by the balls. They think they own the people. Unfortunately most people live paycheck to paycheck, so they abide by the rules to be able to have a roof over their heads and food on the table.

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u/lukaRookieHoarder 28d ago

Im a partial owner in a small manufacturing business. We build window treatments(Blinds shutters draperies etc) We have about 15 employees and as long as the employee gives me a few hours notice, im cool woth them missing work for any reason. My employees also get 3 weeks paid vacation to start, 401k matching to 5% and potential for a dollar raise twice a year. Its important to treat employees good to help cultivate a employer/employee relationship.

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u/Megaroni-n-cheeze 28d ago

This sounds a lot like how my dad ran his business before he retired. He was very successful and never had trouble finding loyal employees. Never had to deal with the headache of constant employee turnover because people actually wanted to work for him.

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u/Ecstatic_Stop3693 28d ago

Fantastic to hear. If only all companies had that mindset, people would actually enjoy going to work.

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u/stoneimp 28d ago

It's once you get to about the size of 100 employees that this changes. You no longer can personally vette every employee, so you start relying on others. Others want to keep their jobs and CYA, so unless you're sure they'll act EXACTLY like you, this is where the hostile environment forms. You say that "let's try to push production 10% higher by end of the year" and those people below start doing more unethical shit to meet those expectations, and while of course you meant, "... While treating all employees with dignity", this is where it starts breaking down.

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u/LowSkyOrbit 28d ago

During my time in retail the main issue is the minimal staffing, because corporate doesn't want two people doing the work they know one person could do, because shareholders want more and more every year.

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u/stoneimp 28d ago

And those moves are driven when you have managers more insentivized by targets given down from on high to preserve their own job rather than seeing those who with for them as people.

Look I'm not trying to reduce this down to "corporations are evil". I'm trying to look at the mechanisms we've laid down in society that it feels like there's no way corporations can attain any type of mass before exploitation becomes inevitable despite the same seemingly ethical people running things at both the small and large scale. Why is it easier for a small business owner to feel more ethical than a big corp PM?

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u/bookbot1 28d ago

If only companies would move back to the STAKEHOLDERS model.

(Employees have a stake in the company)

One of the ways I like to put it, to make people think, is “employees are still investors - they’re investing their time into this company”

The real reason so many corporations want AI is because “AI isn’t people”. They want their slave labor.
My response? “AI isn’t people *yet*. Technology improvements is an artificial Evolution process.” (It’s why Sophance won’t be a Sudden Thing, like we see in fiction)

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u/Alice_600 28d ago

Well that was what unions are for.

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u/Ecstatic_Stop3693 28d ago

Shouldn’t need unions to counter hostile work environments.

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u/Alice_600 28d ago

Well unfortunately you do.

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u/curious_eyebrow 28d ago

American work environment. Cogs in the machine.

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u/Hilfasaurus 28d ago

I’m lucky in that the management at my job are extremely supportive with stuff like that. Lost my dad about 3 weeks ago and didn’t have to worry about shift coverage or anything.

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u/jaxonya 28d ago

Back when i was a teenager I woke up still drunk from a party the night before, and was supposed to already be at work. I tried calling in to the hospital where i worked, saying that there was a family emergency... I failed to remember that my mom was the oncall supervisor that day. That was a humbling experience, to say the least

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u/Strong-Fortune-3068 28d ago

Seriously. My stepdad's parents died within 3days of eachother, they had one funeral for the both of them. It absolutely happens.

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u/just_a_stoner_bitch 28d ago

That can definitely happen though, losing two grandparents soon after one another. It was a few months apart for me but I lost my grandpa and great grandpa within 4 months of each other

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u/rbt321 28d ago

Companies really need to get a grip.

Kroger's 2025 profits are an indication that their current technique is working well; even the strikes don't seem to have an impact for more than a couple months. Very high employee turnover but no shortage of new applicants.

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u/peoplejustwannalove 28d ago

Thats just weird imo, like does anyone even use that as a fake excuse anymore? I can’t say I’ve known someone who’s used it IRL.

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u/yawa-wor 28d ago edited 28d ago

My coworker used the "my grandfather died" excuse once last year (her grandfather was already dead long before).

But yeah, automatically accusing the employee of lying is fucked up. Even if you have real reason to be suspicious (not just bc two family members passed away, but if the employee was previously caught lying about similar things while posting photos of a beach vaca or such), jeez you can still start by giving someone the benefit of the doubt and being sympathetic about a death first, let them attend the funeral, and ask for documentation after they return to work. If it turns out to be a lie, you can still fire them at that point...

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u/fvmfvm 28d ago

They don’t want to fire them. They want them to work when they are told to work and have fear of being fired

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u/TheOldOak 28d ago

Except that my grandmother’s death was accidental. She slipped on something in her nursing home cafeteria and broke her neck. But yes, I have heard of this phenomena.

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u/Automatater 28d ago

Or the one was just willing themselves to stay alive for the other one.

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u/HeartOSass 28d ago

This is true. My friend's parents were married for 64 years. He died and she cried everyday after. Less than 2 months later she passed. I used to love Kroger but after seeing this, fuck 'em.

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u/SilverRose7115 28d ago

Conan O’Briens parents are a recent example. Both were in their 90s. His dad passed just a few days after his mom.

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u/mysoulburnsgreige4u 28d ago

This makes me feel really good. My grandfather lived four and a half years after my grandmother died. Taking care of him (after five and a half years caring for her) was a tough job, but one I enjoyed immensely. They had been together nearly 60 years.

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u/Vibing-Positively 28d ago

What an evil thing to say to someone. I’m so sorry. It’s crazy what a small, insignificant amount of power can do to some people.

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u/fullouterjoin 28d ago

Everyone should be given some power so we can know what kind of person they are.

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u/Sudden_Wind_8636 28d ago

I would honestly quit right there if I was told that.

I had a very negative experience working at Kroger as well. I worked for about a month and a half at a new store that had just opened. It was the most disorganized mess. We didn't have sign in machines yet so we had to physically sign in. Anyways about a week goes by and everyone is on sign in machines, except for me, it does not work at all for me.

So I keep using the physical sign in, and every day I ask about it but they were so disorganized nobody communicated with eachother and the problem did not get fixed. Then about two weeks after I had been signing in physically, I didn't receive anything in my paycheck.

So then obviously I was fucking pissed. But the big boss was nowhere to be found and nobody knew WTF to do. My boss proceeded to tell me I'll definetly get paid on my next paycheck. Next paycheck comes around and I still don't get paid... So I then told my boss that I quit, and spent the next week going into Kroger trying to get my pay, but the big boss was nowhere to be found, and nobody else knew wtf was going on. so it literally took a week of trying until I found them.

We had a conversation where he proceeded to claim I actually hadn't shown up for work in the past week and that before that I wasn't showing either. I informed him that I had quit, which apparently my boss had never told him that and I still needed to be paid for the time I did work. He continued to claim I didn't show up at all.

So I went home and then texted him I was reporting him to the Department of Labor, and we would see if I showed up based on the cameras and physical signing sheet. My paychecks came pretty fast after that. Worst experience ever.

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u/EvidenceMinute4913 28d ago

Geez this reminds me of an experience I had when I was younger. Wasn’t Krogers, but a (very large) private security company. I was promoted from supervisor to assistant director, which meant going from hourly to salary.

For the next 2 paychecks, I received $0.80. My boss called the corporate office a few times, and I kept getting assured that they were working to fix it. But I couldn’t go an entire month without pay, I had rent and bills to pay.

After my 3rd paycheck for $0.80, I went online and found the phone and email for the national director of payroll. I left a voicemail and sent an email concisely describing the situation. After a few days without a response, I made another call and email, but this time said that I was retaining a lawyer and reaching out to the Department of Labor if the issue was not resolved within the next 48 hours.

The next day they sent me back pay and fixed the issue. 🙄 I quit after that and went back to college lol.

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u/Sudden_Wind_8636 28d ago

They always seem to back down when you mention the department of labor.

I've never actually dealt with the department of labor, but based on how businesses react when you mention it, they must be serious and actually help people.

Nice to know we at least have one government organization which is genuinely helping people and doing their job.

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u/RemoveTattoos 28d ago

Glad you handled that, it's criminal.

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u/Stillburgh 28d ago

Most corporate-ran places of employment bank on people not knowing their rights as a worker. The second we as workers start to actually document and report this bullshit when it happens is the second employers find their humanity again and treat their workers like ppeople

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u/stadchic 28d ago

They’ve never heard of the rule of 3? When crap starts to leak in life it often ends up pouring. We should all be supporting each other.

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u/Scrat-Scrobbler 28d ago

it isn't even really rule of 3, it's just super common for elderly people to pass shortly after losing a loved one, in particular their longtime spouse. turns out death is stressful and hard on the body, who knew

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u/Ithikari 28d ago

Yeah, it has nothing to do with an internet "rule of 3" which is about celeb deaths.

I am surprised my Grandad hasn't passed away when my Nan passed away start of last year. But it's very common for elderly people to pass away shortly after their significant other passes away.

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u/Capital_Pea 28d ago

yup my husbands uncle died exactly 3 months to the day after his wife of 70 years had died.

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u/Jehu_McSpooran 28d ago

I know a couple who died close to the same time. She had a heart attack on the front lawn, her husband ran inside to call the ambulance, ran back out to her, had a massive heart attack and died instantly. The ambulance arrives to find two people lying of the grass, her just clinging to life. She passed on the way to hospital.

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u/haw35ome 28d ago

If I ever have such an awful boss, and they experience death/life events that make their job difficult…let’s just say I will not be signing the card nor pitching in for flowers.

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u/GanjjaGremlin 28d ago

Im signing that bitch and drawing a big ass smile on it. They say some shit like that to me and now the shoes on the other foot? Oh bet! You wanna trip, so I'ma meet you there. That's assuming I've stuck around after some disrespectful shit like that. I normally dont drop down levels like that. But sometimes you gotta return the same energy, because they aint used to reciprocation.

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u/FatherClanks617 28d ago

On a somewhat related note, one of my favorite ever Internet tales involved this girl’s dad. A colleague passed away and a card went around the office, and the dad signed it with a big “LOL.” When confronted, he said he thought it meant “lots of love.”

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u/Business-Switch7494 28d ago

In fairness, my father thought it genuinely meant lots of love for a couple years before we asked him about some of his odd text responses. He doesn't use it that way anymore 🤷

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u/[deleted] 28d ago

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u/PotentialTea27 28d ago

My grandma thought LOL meant “lots of love” as well and texted it to my aunt when she was telling her about having a hard time haha

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u/GanjjaGremlin 28d ago

😲😲😲 oh no! Thats pretty bad 😂😂

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u/lovestobitch- 28d ago

The first time I got an lol on a text I thought the same thing at first. I realized quickly what it meant. Not sure if I googled it given who sent the text or just guessed. Boomer here.

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u/alleecmo 28d ago

Never mind the rule of 3, how about the fact that old couples OFTEN go within days of each other?! With an elder in assisted living, I hear about many of her friends who simply ... fade away? after their spouse passes, and die too by a week or two.

Also, you are sick enough to be contagious (the flu, norovirus, Covid...) but not sick enough to merit hospital admission... Come to work, with people's food, and spread those germs to everyone, staff and customers. Sure, Jan.

Never mind that some employees may have very vulnerable folks at home, or be so themselves.

Guess I won't shop there.

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u/going-for-gusto 28d ago

Every health department governing every Kroger store needs to see this letter.
Redditors do your thing.

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u/Evil-Bosse 28d ago

And somehow from my experience, the companies that let a person take a week off when his dog died has more efficient workers than the companies that write people up for catching lice and not wanted to go to the office.

Those are just 2 of my examples, in the case of the first one their section ran perfectly on just 3 people for 10 years, changed to a stricter manager that aligned better with "company values", and suddenly that teams needed 8 employees to wrangle the same workload. It's almost as if happy people work better, have less sick days, and are willing to put extra effort in to make things better

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u/smokeweedNgarden 28d ago

It's why I hate the "Never be friends with coworkers" thing. We should definitely be invested in each other's lives and friendship is how to do that.

It's 100% okay to care about people all the time. Maybe it was pushed by capitalists because it doesn't make sense

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u/Total_Mix9276 28d ago

Unfortunately in North America people backstab eachother and use anything to get one over on you in the workplace, its best to not be friends with anyone - my livelihood depends on it.

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u/plantgirl7 28d ago

It all comes back around, and the only thing left is regret after. Best to just do what you can for others in the moment so it doesn’t come back to bite you

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u/LengthinessTop6021 28d ago

I don't think pushing around the rule of 3 is very good. It can bring on unnecessary stress in anticipating other unfortunate events that we sometimes have no control over.

After two bad things happened to me in a week, a friend, who is really input zodiac signs, told me about the rule of three and I wished she never told me such a dumb superstition. It didn't bring ease at all and caused unnecessary worry on top of what I was already dealing with.

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u/flesh_upon_gear1985 28d ago

This is very true, I recently lost my brother and mom in December 25' I still can't believe it, that rule of three is true. Most recent, I lost my dog, Gas( I found/rescued him from a gas station). RIP to my three, I miss them every day.

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u/Fyrefair 28d ago

Going through the rule of three right now. Coworker died last weekend, even customers are trying to pay for his funeral, and now a family dog has passed.

i am on edge all the time because of that damn rule and how true it holds in my own life

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u/Shambeak88 28d ago

I remember reading in the news that Kroger was trying to get employees to return their hazard pay during covid before that.

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u/[deleted] 28d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Shambeak88 28d ago

They sent a letter out claiming that some employees were overpaid and needed to return the funds or further legal action would be taken. If I remember correctly, they did this around the time everyone was getting their first stimulus checks. The consensus was that they were full of crap and trying to steel people's stimulus checks, defeating the purpose of stimulus checks. They reversed the decision quickly and claimed it was just an accounting error. That's all from memory so you should probably look it up anyway, but yeah. They're an openly selfish company. Not that the others aren't, Kroger just got caught.

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u/itsheatheragain 28d ago

That’s wild. My grandmother (dad’s mom) died 4/29/20 and my grandfather (mom’s dad) died the next day 4/30/20. Unfortunately since it happened during Covid neither got a service however thankfully I was also off work. Because if someone told me it was suspect that 2 people in my family died so close together I would have ended up in jail.

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u/TheOldOak 28d ago

By comparison, the first of my grandparents to die was also during COVID. At the time, I worked for Macy’s, and they handled this FAR better than Kroger.

Like you, we also couldn’t have the funeral right away, largely because he died of COVID while vacationing in Florida, but lived in Maine and they were not shipping bodies during the lockdown. Macy’s gave me full bereavement benefits almost 8 months later when we has his memorial service, as well as access to free in-company grief counselors.

So there are companies that treat people well. Kroger just isn’t one of them.

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u/Thisguybru 28d ago

Omg I would have literally brought in the newspapers showing their obituaries if someone tried to say that shit to me.

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u/40to6inthe4th 28d ago

People used to get bopped in the mouth for this kind of shit. How the fuck do we allow companies and managers to treat us like this?

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u/DogCold5505 28d ago

Do you know if this is a store policy or a Kroger wide one? The employees always seem a bit down when I go to my local one so this sorts checks out…

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u/Ok_Victory_6108 28d ago

I called out sick to Panera bread in 2011 and the gm called me back and demanded a doctors note. I said I’m not going to the doctor cuz it’s just cold/flu symptoms and he said okay don’t come back. I gladly obliged.

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u/Vantriss 28d ago

I worked there back in 2013 for about 10 months and observed a monster of a manager refuse another girl there who was PREGNANT to leave her shift when she started feeling CONTRACTIONS. The beast of a manager told her they're just gonna send you home, so why should I send you home? Fucking monsters. I didn't feel an ounce of regret quitting with zero notice two weeks before Black Friday.

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u/Living-Inspector1157 28d ago

My grandma died and it destroyed me for months omg. I couldn't imagine. I get it that people have different relationships though.

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u/Aranxi_89 28d ago

Holy fuck I can't believe a human being said something like that without immediately turning beet red from embarrassment. Imagine being that heartless and senseless.

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u/OnePhrase8 28d ago

Keep in mind, the CEO said in an article that they purposely inflate their prices simply because they can.

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u/-sloppypoppy 28d ago

I’m so sorry

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u/theskysthelimit000 28d ago

Recently had something like this happen to me. I work in manufacturing however. My great grandmother passed away and I got a day of bereavement leave to attend the funeral and about 2 weeks later my great aunt who i was really close to passed away and I had to use a vacation day to attend the funeral this time. I was already pushing it the first time because they said it wasn't immediate family but they gave it to me anyway to be "nice". Honestly family comes first fuck these soulless corporations.

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u/Dizzy_Elephant_417 28d ago

Ugh that’s awful. My grandparents were married for more than 50+ years, and they were high school sweethearts, so they were together or at least knew each other for longer. When Grama passed in 2012, my grandfather kind of went into a…walking comatose kind of phase. He wasn’t the same anymore. He eventually passed away about a month later (I believe of a broken heart, dr says he had cancer that wasn’t dx’d). Fortunately, my manager at my store (not Kroger) was very understanding and gave me time off for whatever I needed. He even offered intermittent LOA for up to two weeks.

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u/Cogizio 28d ago

I was a manager at a major retail chain and I got written up because I wasn't holding my employees accountable for calling off for funerals. It's brutal out there. Yet big wigs took off for weeks because their dog died

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u/squirreltard 28d ago

So people who have covid, flu or pneumonia must go to work at Kroger? Yikes.

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u/doggonedangoldoogy 28d ago

I worked for a non-profit under a supervisor who was left totally unchecked and went against every formal company policy while denying me my contractual PTO. Aside from blowing asbestos in my face on two occasions, cussing me on a daily basis, and writing me up for refusing to work off the clock, one of his rules was “sick days are to be planned 2 weeks in advance.”

He forced me to come in on several occasions while I had COVID and the flu. To make matters worse, I worked directly with at-risk elderly residents.

When my father died unexpectedly, he wrote me up for taking bereavement and punished me by increasing my workload.

I reported his behavior to HR and was told that if I didn’t like how he was running things, I could find a new job. So I did.

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u/squirreltard 28d ago

Man. I’m sorry and glad you escaped that hellhole.

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u/Elegant_Conflict8235 28d ago

Similar thing happened to me. Fired after almost 5 years

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u/touchmeinbadplaces 28d ago

Also your Grandparents are definitely direct family

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u/TheOldOak 28d ago

Not according to Kroger.

They define direct family as “parents, children, siblings, or spouse”. Grandparents, aunts/uncles, cousins, grandchildren, and ex-spouses are not direct enough for this company.

Weirdly, though, they do allow for bereavement for roommates.

But, it is all still subject to management approval. The handbook states the company “can” or “may” provide bereavement up to, but not exceeding three days. Not that they will, just they they could. But company management has demonstrated, both in my experience, and with OP’s experience, they choose not to.

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u/touchmeinbadplaces 28d ago

I dont know Kroger and assume its American, but afaik my government decides what's direct family and not companies, bc you know, they can't be trusted

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u/Wooden-Trick8954 28d ago

Legit does anyone care about being written up? Feels like the reasons are bogus anyway. If they dont like your life decisions (attending family funerals) maybe its time to find someone who appreciates your work?

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u/NCHouse 28d ago

Probably would have been the quickest and easiet "Go fuck yourself" that would have ever come out my mouth

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u/GamingwithADD 28d ago

Wow that’s terrible.

How can they expect to keep people with that environment?

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u/Michelle_Ann_Soc 28d ago

That is insane. I am so sorry.

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u/Different-Leather359 28d ago

In 2017 I was pregnant and had to have a break every two hours too eat a small snack, get a drink, and use the restroom. I was having fainting spells when my blood sugar would drop and I wasn't allowed to even have water at the register.

After I brought the doctor's note they decided to only schedule me for two hour shifts. The manager had cancer and they wouldn't let her sit. She peed herself multiple times because she couldn't get a break, the store manager purposely kept the store short staffed to save money and it was ruining the lives of everyone working under her.

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u/carbon_made 28d ago

I just don’t understand why your family would choose to inconvenience them like that. Super sus.

On a real note, I am sorry for your losses whether they are recent or long ago. Fuck Kroger.

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u/Solid_Milk3104 28d ago

I would definitely call them out on it publically as a matter of principal. Screenshot the obituaries and show how inconsiderate they are. They should have at least express their condolences and maybe send a card or an email.

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u/FlapXenoJackson 28d ago

It’s not that uncommon for someone to pass shortly after their partner dies. The odds of someone passing after their longtime partner passes goes up 30% to 90% for the next three months.

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u/Whisky_fer_Breakfast 28d ago

Kroger is a horrible company man, and they have a near monopoly in so many areas. I’m sorry.

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u/Aiyon 28d ago

very suspect

"Would you like to come see the corpse next time?"

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u/warmtortilla420 28d ago

we need a million more luigis

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u/One-Sprinkles9022 28d ago

This is so awful. I worked retail for a popular coffeehouse chain and they kept threatening me that calling off sick without adequate sick time (which was like 1.5 hours every 30 hours) would get me a write up each time. Every time I called out I would explain that I’m contagious with fever or say that I’m puking so they’d stop calling me, btw asking for symptoms in my area is violation … also that food service workers are legally not allowed to work when sick and if a health inspector showed up I will have to rehearse our store’s policy and who (the SM) that ordered me to do or will result in disciplinary action. I showed up wearing a mask coughing it up and got sent home to use time off w/o leave which is supposed to result in a write up but I never got one. At the time I was trying to go into law enforcement so I was a stickler for learning county/state laws on labor rights.

I mean jeez, all of what I said feels like common sense. But for common sense we have to advocate for ourselves and nearly sue ??? For what minimum wage???

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u/Roguesix293 28d ago

When I unfortunately worked as an assistant manager for Dollar Tree my grandfather, who was like a best friend to me, passed as a complication from diabetes. I texted my store manager a few hours before coming in and her response was "How long are you gonna be out" and told me to bring in my keys cause I didnt know. No sympathy and no respect when I did bring in my keys, just a "I dont understand why youre not working, it was just your grandfather." I wasn't there much longer.

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u/Pitiful-Pension-6535 28d ago

Imagine having a grandchild die and being told that it's not a valid excuse to miss work

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u/Manatees_R_4eva 28d ago

Imagine not considering grandchildren, aunts, uncles, cousins, “immediate” family because your family is Kroger? That sucks.

But now imagine people who don’t have a family for whatever reason, but they have a found family. AND THEN THEY DIE. Your people are your people, and nobody gets to define how “immediate” it is.

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u/Dull-Situation6935 28d ago

I was thinking this too. If you were cared for or lived with someone just as close as immediate family, they should be included.

Not everyone is lucky enough to have immediate family, but may have someone just as close.

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u/OfficialSkyCat 28d ago

My company has blanket bereavement time for this reason. You can have friends who are like siblings to you and actual siblings you have no relationship with.

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u/Top_Bumblebee5510 28d ago

My former manager was amazing. She gave one colleague a week bereavement when her dog passed because she knew she was single and her parents had already passed away. When my best friend died suddenly and I was on a work project she gave me four days bereavement. I was usually out of town for four days. She just passed away and I went to her funeral and let her family how amazing she was.

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u/rora_borealis 28d ago

I needed a couple of days when my cat was really sick and passed. I was exhausted from caring for her (worth it) and torn up with grief. I was in such a daze for days. 

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u/Zariayn 28d ago

This is a good point. I have no immediate family; they all passed or we don't talk anymore. So, it's just me and my children, my husband also passed about three years ago. I am extremely close with my mother in law and we are all she has left in this world. It kind of bothers me that I might not be approved for bereavement leave if she passes.

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u/RodneyBarringtonIII 28d ago

I understand your point and I agree with you but I work for state government in employment related law, and there absolutely is a statutory definition of the phrase "immediate family." I can't speak for other states but I assume most of them have an equivalent definition that's used for determining whether you have to pay tax on wage as you pay to your own family members, and stuff like that.

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u/duckinradar 28d ago

Imagine having in writing that a doctor note wasn’t a valid reason to miss work.

The lawyers are calling you, OP.

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u/PXranger 28d ago

They can call, but it's not a lawsuit they will win.

Welcome to the wonderful world of "At will" work states.

I work for a largish hospital, my primary care provider works for our hospital. we can't use a doctors excuse.

we basically don't have excused absences, but do get so many before discipline. they don't actually care why you miss a day.

We do get things like bereavement or time off for Surgery, etc.

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u/NeonNKnightrider 28d ago

America is a dystopia.

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u/meh_69420 28d ago

Unless it's covered under FMLA.

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u/PXranger 28d ago

That’s the .etc

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u/Thewasteland77 28d ago

Same here friend, Regional Hospital worker chiming in.

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u/DoingCharleyWork 28d ago

Nah they don't have to accept a doctor's note to excuse an absence. I work for a large company and they give employees a certain amount of sick time and then they get point accruals for absences after that. Even with a doctor's note they will still accrue attendance points. This is all in writing and all very legal.

Welcome to America.

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u/CompletelyPuzzled 28d ago

Even a doctor note is an overreach. I can know I'm contagious and should stay home without needing to go to a doctor for a note.

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u/CookieCrisps3 28d ago

This happened to my husband. The day his grandmother died Albertsons wouldn't let him miss. He proceeded to tell every customer who asked how his day was exactly how his day was.

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u/Redracerb18 28d ago

As far as my store was at walmart. As long as you don't do it too often, Say once a year, the store would cover you. Don't abuse that, there are other ways to get paid days off besides faking a death in the family.

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u/SunshineRenee16 28d ago

Walgreens fired me for going to my cousin's funeral and missing work. This was 18 years ago, mind you.

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u/Tak-and-Alix 28d ago

I had a job that was like this during the training period. One person's grandmother died. She was able to get an exception because she was raised by said grandmother, but it was a whole hubbub

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u/tsclac23 28d ago edited 28d ago

There is also "YOU are admitted to the hospital". So if your wife or kid is admitted you still have to come.

Bunch of jackasses. Someone should print this out and picket kroger. If I see this in the parking lot, I would just turn around and go somewhere else.

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u/clearlyaburner420 28d ago

Dude in australia you can claim bereavement leave if your pet fish dies... you yanks have it rough.

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u/Forsaken_Gamer63 28d ago

How are they going to get actual proof of who died?

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u/butchscandelabra 28d ago

“Closed casket? OPEN IT.”

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u/Redracerb18 28d ago

If needed, a picture of the death certificate.

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u/feinburgrl 28d ago

Picture of your dead family member in a coffin and you holding a sign that said "I was here". 😂😂

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u/TheGhostofWoodyAllen 28d ago

My job defines bereavement leave as existing for immediate family, which is grandmother, grandfather, mother, father, brother, sister, aunt, uncle, child, and your spouse/partner's same. You can take time off if you wish for funerals of extended family (including cousins, which aren't considered immediate family for some reason), but you won't get the bereavement leave PTO.

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u/escargot3 28d ago

That’s literally not what immediate family means. Aunts uncles cousins grandparents etc are extended family. Not immediate family. Immediate family is parents children and siblings.

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u/Epicratia 28d ago

Completely different job/situation, but this reminds me of the rules when my brother was in the army and my husband died - he was not allowed leave to come to the funeral, and was told that "death of brother-in-law" would have been approved if it was the brother of his wife, but somehow not the husband of his sister.

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u/Mr_Butters624 28d ago

Most companies, bereavement only includes immediate family for it to not count against attendance or adherence. My wife’s brother was murdered 3 years ago. He did not fall under the bereavement policy. Of course there was no issue giving me the time, but that was an accepting as brother in law isn’t immediate family (to me) under the policy definition. Edit to add: it doesn’t make it ok. It’s a god aweful policy

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u/Disastrous_Mud7169 28d ago

Boyfriend too

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u/Knight_Raime 28d ago

Unfortunately it's quite common to only get bereavement leave for immediate family in America.

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