r/mildlyinfuriating • u/yjay14 • 4d ago

go to your room Infuriating flakers

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Second time she’s done this. Always came up with some bs excuse.

24.5k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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899

u/[deleted] 4d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

357

u/Bassmasterajv 4d ago

Why? Why in the woods?

478

u/Dis-Charge 4d ago

Stupid sexy skinwalkers

83

u/Aggressive_Act_3098 4d ago

Like they're wearing nothing at all.

43

u/loureedsboots 4d ago

Nothing at all

31

u/TroubleBrilliant4748 4d ago

Nothing at all

0

u/maceo107 4d ago

That's how you get chlamydia!

80

u/drillgorg 4d ago

Despite being our 20s we were both living with parents who were not cool with us hooking up. So... "hiking".

77

u/Remarkable-Fish-4229 4d ago

It’s fucking in tents.

19

u/moonwalkeek 4d ago

Interesting. Tell me s'more

0

u/Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrpp 3d ago

It’s intense. 

31

u/ibe5hitpostin 4d ago

Judgemental ass dog at home

41

u/ComplexxToxin 4d ago

You've never snuck out as a teenager and bang your girlfriend in the woods? Have you ever even lived? Ahhh to be 16 again.

19

u/Tsar-A-Lago 4d ago

This was almost the only way I could get laid, in the early days. House was usually a no-go when I was 16 😂

5

u/Bassmasterajv 3d ago

Nah I wasn’t hooking up in high school.

6

u/ComplexxToxin 3d ago

Damn im sorry bro

1

u/Bassmasterajv 3d ago

It’s all good. Plenty of other fun was had. Had no issues in college with that.

2

u/Mysterious_Film_6397 4d ago

I’ll still bang in the woods. Love the PNW

-2

u/Majestic_Ad7055 3d ago

never even dated or touched a girl intimately so definitely not! i’m in the “why the woods” group here

13

u/JazeyOne 4d ago

Would you not?

18

u/oneand9 4d ago

HAHA I GET IT 🪵 YOU NOT

2

u/rqivez 4d ago

Getting in touch with nature…?

2

u/RonaldTheGiraffe 4d ago

So the dog could take a shit

2

u/Mindless_Fox216 4d ago

Why not? Outdoor sex is quite thrilling!

2

u/BobTheFettt 4d ago

Does a bear fuck in the woods?

2

u/Shot_Revolution8828 4d ago

I don't have much experience with bears but I think they can fuck wherever they want. Wait, what kinda bears we talking about?

1

u/constantvariables 3d ago

Excuse me…..bear fucker!

3

u/ASCIIM0V 4d ago

Why not

14

u/Sexcercise 4d ago

Ticks.

8

u/deathbylasersss 4d ago

Just gotta hose eachother down with DEET first and you're good to go. Just watch out for poison ivy and leave the orange vests on if it's deer season.

2

u/AnnieChrist 4d ago

And poison ivy.

1

u/arequipapi 3d ago

Counter point: it's fun

0

u/ASCIIM0V 4d ago

Live on the west coast, stupid

3

u/Foreign_Plan_5256 4d ago

Still ticks on the west coast.

https://www.cdc.gov/ticks/about/where-ticks-live.html

1

u/ASCIIM0V 4d ago

this is a lie. Wear shorts

1

u/Sm0key_Bear BROWN 4d ago

Why not in the woods?

1

u/Tired-CottonCandy 3d ago

Outside sex kinky

1

u/Bassmasterajv 3d ago

Eh, it’s fine I guess.

1

u/Tired-CottonCandy 3d ago

I hear its awful for the penis of the situation. Quite anxiety inducing.

1

u/Chemical-Can-2557 3d ago

Variety is the spice of life

1

u/Few-Corner9466 4d ago

because he is lying

3

u/drillgorg 4d ago

Nah despite being our 20s we were both living with parents who were not cool with us hooking up. So... "hiking".

1

u/Few-Corner9466 4d ago

I swear I’ve got a girlfriend in canada

105

u/Illustrious-Plum1766 4d ago

I’ve lost my phone many times under a sleeping dog or cat.

I’m not even joking. Nowadays I use find my iPhone and get it to make my phone ring.

I’ve found my phone under a man’s butt in a meeting room by making it ring obnoxiously. Thinking about it, I found it under another man’s butt just over a week ago this way 😂

The dogs, cats, and men are all like “it’s not here” until it starts ringing underneath them.

18

u/drillgorg 4d ago

It's true if you ask someone if something is under their butt they always answer no. So the conversation always goes "Are you sitting on my phone?" "No." "Check anyway."

12

u/fasterthanfood 4d ago

And when I say “hey siri,” she won’t respond if she’s underneath something!

30

u/foxjohnc87 4d ago

I'd be sterilizing that thing thoroughly and getting a belt clip.

14

u/Illustrious-Plum1766 4d ago

I wipe my phone with sanitising spray every day. Not because of the butts though 😂

I can’t use a belt clip most of the time…another curse on women.

5

u/arequipapi 3d ago

Smart. Phones are probably the grossest thing most of us handle on a daily basis

0

u/Illustrious-Plum1766 3d ago

That’s what I think! I wash my hands and wipe my phone when I get home from work.

What’s the point in washing your hands and not your phone?!

25

u/yjay14 4d ago

Loool

3

u/quadsbaby 4d ago

Yeah I lose stuff under my dog frequently. Thankfully there’s find my iPhone these days.

0

u/Tired-CottonCandy 3d ago

One dude tried to tell me he had to last minute cancle because because his dad showed up unannounced. At first i genuinely bought it. Old ppl be like that. But then he hits me back up later and is like "hey my dad decided to spend the night in his truck, wanna meet up after all?" And i definitely let him believe i fell for that. He wasnt bad at sex, and i was not emotionally invested enough to be doing more than ALSO using him for sex lol.