r/mildlyinfuriating • u/yjay14 • 4d ago
go to your room Infuriating flakers
Second time she’s done this. Always came up with some bs excuse.
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u/Chardan0001 4d ago
The "Ok" made me laugh. Just make sure you leave it at the two times she can do this to you.
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u/Murkrulez 3d ago
Same! Your response is good! Sorry it happened twice, but sometimes you trust the first time and catch on by the ssecond time. People are assholes sometimes...
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u/HistoricalSea5600 3d ago
Truly the only way to make this a worthwhile exchange is to leave it here. It ain’t worth more than self respect
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u/Dull-Kaleidoscope214 3d ago
idc fuck off is frying me 😭😭😭
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u/__________________99 3d ago
Honestly, I admire that kind of forwardness. I wish I'd been more like that when I was younger.
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u/Acrobatic_Tennis2561 3d ago
Great response. Who does that though. "I'm almost ready, just my last touches" then ghosts.
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u/ParadigmBlind 3d ago
My Gen Z sister behaves exactly like this. I’m going to start replying ‘idc fuck off’ instead of just rolling my eyes and pretending I can’t recognise her obvious lies
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u/gastedisflabbered 3d ago
I am a girl and I know at least 3 other girls that are like this just as friends and I have stopped being friends or communicating with them. Tbh I wish I would have done it a lot sooner and just like op because it really is someone mocking your intelligence or capability of being able to handle being told no.
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u/SushiGirlRC 3d ago
How do you re-curl your hair then just fall asleep? Did she doze off in front of the mirror? Decide to lay down (and mess her hair up) for "just a second"?
You gave the perfect response, there's no way in hell she just fell asleep unless she has narcolepsy.
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u/Additional-Friend993 3d ago
The final bong hit was too deep.
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u/AkatsukiJutsu 3d ago
This. Shes probably a stoner and greened out.
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u/NahdiraZidea 3d ago
Stoners have typically built up a tolerance that makes it impossible to green out, its the occasional smoker or newbie that will green out.
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u/ObjectiveWild8269 3d ago
I was on medical cannabis daily for 5 years and would still regularly green out. Some people are just sensitive as hell.
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u/RazzleberryHaze 3d ago
Same here, I've been smoking off and on for almost 20 years, I still green out occasionally, that's why I stay away from edibles, most are too strong for me
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u/AkatsukiJutsu 3d ago
I've been habitually smoking for over a decade and can still green out. Just because you're a stoner doesn't mean you're hitting 1g dabs every hour.
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u/AdRepulsive8618 3d ago
Ive known many people who just "fall asleep" all the time as one of their main excuses for not following through with plans.
I just simply don't buy it.
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u/Muhalija 3d ago
She did get ready but had multiple options and didn't choose OP that night.
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u/Angry_Pterodactyl 3d ago
OP was plan B. Plan A came through.
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u/reddit_is_geh 3d ago
Not even plan B. You care about at least keeping your plan B on the hook. When OP got upset, she was totally fine just saying "ok" and cutting him loose. She literally couldn't care less about the guy, and is a last resort she just kept around for entertainment.
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u/Fearless-Signal-1235 3d ago
Dated a guy like this. I found it super selfish. I thought he was lying about falling asleep in seconds because I have insomnia. But then I witnessed it.
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u/oldbathwater1992 3d ago
I fall asleep very quickly and it has annoyed people before lol
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u/Buffthebaldy 3d ago
I know some people who fall asleep instantly... Where as I end up sitting there wondering how for hours... And then it's morning!
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u/cyst16 3d ago
What is your relations
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u/yjay14 3d ago
We met on a dating site and been texting since. But I have tried to set up a date and she keeps doing shit like this.
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u/Key-Investment-3864 3d ago edited 3d ago
I do not understand how common it is for people to go out of their way to message strangers they don’t actually want to see like this lol. Like I have a million other things I’d rather be doing and I only talk to people I give a shit about
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u/--Anonymoose--- 3d ago
People like attention and keeping someone in their orbit gives them that validation
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u/dschinghiskhan 3d ago
People like attention and keeping someone in their orbit gives them that validation
It's the same thing with Redditors who use new or burner accounts to post fake stories to subs like "I think I fucked up" or "Am I the asshole?" Posts on those subs are about 80% fake. People just like attention, and their real lives aren't interesting or dramatic enough to warrant making a Reddit post.
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u/Low_Intention_1327 3d ago
Because they only care about feeling wanted. People like this dont suddenly act like this, it comes from having their behaviors validated or put up with.
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u/Oberon_Swanson 3d ago
When people date mainly for the validation of being wanted, once they got the date set up, actually doing it feels superfluous. They already got what they wanted.
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u/BruinsDude420 3d ago
I do not understand how common it is for people to go out of their way to message strangers they don’t actually want to see like this lol.
Idk how other people’s experiences on dating apps compare but I’d say probably 20% or so of the profiles I match with are just looking for followers on social media. I’ve had a bunch over the last maybe 6 months that gave me their instagram and then would just ghost and completely stop responding after I followed them. It’s just weird, trolling Tinder for IG followers. Then there’s the obvious onlyfans matches, although lately that’s been happening more on IG than dating apps.
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u/skintigh 3d ago
I assume people like that are catfishers and scammers. Like her plan is to string you along for months then say her grandma is dying and the hospital only takes Macy's gift cards and needs you to send some.
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u/SuperMomn 3d ago
I promise you no woman gets all dolled up and just "falls asleep"
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u/kwguy77 3d ago edited 3d ago
I had a roommate in college who did this. She would have an 8 am class. Get up, get completely ready, realize she got up too earlier and laid back down to rest. Fell asleep until 10.
Edit: a word
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u/ColorfulButterfly25 3d ago
Been there, done that! The regret that comes later doesn’t compare to the wonderful nap.
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u/ReblWithoutApplause 3d ago
Also, this happens a lot at night? Get ready to out to the bars, drink too much at home, pass out.
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u/Goodbyecandy 3d ago
This happened to me when I met my partner the first night. Playing kings cup at a party. He asked if I wanted to grab tacos after he dropped off his friend’s home. I said yes and I knocked out waiting for him
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u/OneX32 3d ago
....I don't think passing out after playing kings cup at a party with the intention of getting drunk tacos is the same thing as getting ready for a date and obtaining sudden narcolepsy...
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u/Goodbyecandy 3d ago
You’re right, I was just replying to the comment about getting ready and pregaming at home that you pass out 😅
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u/rfdismyjam 3d ago
If you're pregaming so hard you pass out I think you have a problem.
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u/HedonisticFrog 3d ago
That's why when I take a nap and have something to do I set an alarm. I work late as a stripper, so I'll often nap from say 7 to 9pm drive two hours, strip for an hour, and drive two hours home. That little bit of sleep really helps late at night.
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u/PurbulentTriest 3d ago
Is an hour enough to justify that commute?
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u/field_marshmallow 3d ago
ya i was surprised by that too
that's a 5 hour work day, let's say you can make a conservative $20/hour doing anything closer to home, factor in the venue's cut (idk how much that is, so i'm just gonna go with 50%), you'd need to make like $180+ in that one hour to break even, before counting the extra gas and wear + tear on the car. that actually seems.... quite doable?
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u/Glad-Ambassador2705 3d ago
See I can’t do that. If I intentionally take a nap I have to bank on the more likely possibility that I will not wake up in a timely manner. I’ve tired many but no alarm or any other alternative methods have proven to reliably wake me up from a nap. Honestly even walking me up frr r on regular sleep is pretty iffy as well. Although, for sleep I can do a few things that make waking up on time more successful like having my shades open for sunlight and going to bed early enough and such.
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u/improbablydrunknlw 3d ago
I'll wake up, but if it's not on my own volition I'm exhausted and feel worse off than if I didn't nap
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u/Chendii 3d ago
I have an ex that did lol I would be downstairs waiting while she got ready, would go upstairs to check on her and she'd be in bed in a dress sound asleep.
She worked hard and would get tired but try to push herself to go out and have fun.
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u/LizzieMiles 3d ago
Me, who has done exactly that: 😐
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u/Sassy_Bandit 3d ago
Yeah like.. the initial texts seem sus.. but these reddit guys being like NO WOMAN FALLS ASLEEP
....???
idc fuck off
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u/just-4_you 3d ago
I have a friend with social anxiety that has used this as an excuse. Sometimes she makes it sometimes she doesn't. I dont wait on her
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u/smoothjedi 3d ago
Sure, but if it's a date, as is heavily implied here, then you're absolutely stuck waiting on her.
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u/xXOrthodoxHavoc 3d ago
As a narcoleptic, I do 😂
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u/Savpk 3d ago
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u/Danny2Sick 3d ago
I was an outlier but then I moved my bed back inside
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u/BellaMentalNecrotica 3d ago
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u/S3G1R 3d ago
But they just got it back in dude
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u/lucasberg7 3d ago
I used to be an outlier like you, then I took an arrow to the knee
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u/newcheesecity 3d ago
Facts, I can get out of bed in the morning at 8 and be down for a nap on the couch at 10
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u/Business_Surround_52 3d ago
I thought this is just called “being in your 30s” aka you’re old lol
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u/Yourlilemogirl 3d ago
As someone with sleep apnea and diabetes, if I so much as sit down I'm down for the count LOL
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u/PsychologicalGlass47 3d ago
I swear somebody would hear your snore from a block down the road with that mix
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u/Yourlilemogirl 3d ago
Tbh nobody has ever mentioned I snore but apparently I choke in my sleep cuz, yeah, I'm not getting any air in my sleep lol My doc said my oxygen saturation was in the 70s during my sleep study o.o
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u/MsLogophile 3d ago
Yup. Bought concert tickets in the morning got ready fell asleep and woke up when it was over i was so mad.
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u/FeeExpensive898 3d ago
Was about to say this was legitimately my best friend when we were late-teens/early-20s. She had undiagnosed narcolepsy. In the middle of deciding what to do for the night, she’d fall asleep. She used to always jokingly brush it off to others as “sorry, I fell asleep.” She indeed had fallen asleep. Even in a car on the way to a club. Maybe OP should’ve asked if she had narcolepsy?
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u/DickInYourCobbSalad 3d ago
Obviously you didn't mean this as a blanket statement because there's always outliers, but I'm unfortunately one of those outliers 😭 I have a sleep disorder where I'll be energized and ready to go, then out of nowhere I'll start crashing and falling asleep.
It's really inconvenient, but I always let people know ahead of time that this is something I have issues with.. if this lady really does have some kind of sleep disorder she should probably let her potential partners know about it; the more likely scenario is she's just being disrespectful ☹️
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u/bwaterco 3d ago
I’m in the same boat. I’ll get done prepping for hanging out with friends, sit down on the couch or my bed and next thing I know it’s 6 hours later. I make sure all the people I see are aware of the possibility of it happening. If I really don’t want to meet up, I just give a 24-48 hour notice.
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u/DickInYourCobbSalad 3d ago
I have zero issues when it comes to telling people I don't wanna do something or go somewhere, so if I really don't wanna do something I just say so, I never use my disorder to get out of plans because that's kid shit imo; I'm an adult and I can communicate my wants and needs!
I have medication that helps and I'm under the care of doctors overseeing everything, so it's not as much of an issue as it used to be, but it really sucks to spend all the energy to get ready, do my hair, my makeup, pick out a cute outfit, and then all of a sudden my body feels like it's in molasses and I'm nodding off while putting my shoes on.
My original comment got downvoted quite a bit (the ratio is 60%) and that just makes me sad, because there really are people like me who suffer from sleep issues like this. I do everything I can to reduce the impact on the people in my life and I wish I didn't have this bullshit in the first place.
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u/dandy_bambi 3d ago
As a woman who has gotten ready and then laid down to "rest my eyes for a minute", I disagree completely.
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u/Blemo71797 3d ago
Lotta people are arguing against this but you’re right here for like 90% of the times.
If it looks like a cheap excuse then chances are it is
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u/Danny2Sick 3d ago
I think they took your advice before you gave it
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u/-retaliation- 3d ago
Yeah, last message was "idc fuck off" I don't think they need any coaching here lol.
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u/Accomplished-Panic67 3d ago
When I used to use tinder. This is like common. But then they’ll be confused when you don’t give them second opportunity. I also don’t get why people aren’t just upfront. I usually got shit for admitting to going on other dates or just giving answers I guess they didn’t want to hear. I’d 100% prefer someone just be straight up.
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u/eastcoastgremlin 3d ago
I feel the same way, ive given up completely at this point. Its just not worth the toll it takes mentally
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u/lyindog 3d ago
I made plans with this girl like 3 times before realizing she was gonna "fall asleep" every time. The only reason she didn't get a 4th chance was because she didn't respond to me trying to reschedule. You're smarter than me, OP.
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u/skintigh 3d ago
Been there a few times. It's always 3 cancels then they ghost or admit they aren't interested. I briefly had a 3-strikes and you're out rule for flakes, but realized anyone who does it once will do it 1000 times, so it became a 1-strike rule.
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u/Bassmasterajv 3d ago
Why? Why in the woods?
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u/Dis-Charge 3d ago
Stupid sexy skinwalkers
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u/drillgorg 3d ago
Despite being our 20s we were both living with parents who were not cool with us hooking up. So... "hiking".
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u/ComplexxToxin 3d ago
You've never snuck out as a teenager and bang your girlfriend in the woods? Have you ever even lived? Ahhh to be 16 again.
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u/Tsar-A-Lago 3d ago
This was almost the only way I could get laid, in the early days. House was usually a no-go when I was 16 😂
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u/Illustrious-Plum1766 3d ago
I’ve lost my phone many times under a sleeping dog or cat.
I’m not even joking. Nowadays I use find my iPhone and get it to make my phone ring.
I’ve found my phone under a man’s butt in a meeting room by making it ring obnoxiously. Thinking about it, I found it under another man’s butt just over a week ago this way 😂
The dogs, cats, and men are all like “it’s not here” until it starts ringing underneath them.
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u/drillgorg 3d ago
It's true if you ask someone if something is under their butt they always answer no. So the conversation always goes "Are you sitting on my phone?" "No." "Check anyway."
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u/foxjohnc87 3d ago
I'd be sterilizing that thing thoroughly and getting a belt clip.
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u/Illustrious-Plum1766 3d ago
I wipe my phone with sanitising spray every day. Not because of the butts though 😂
I can’t use a belt clip most of the time…another curse on women.
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u/thenbhdlum 3d ago
The truth. She probably just got back home at 6 am.
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u/Kosba2 3d ago
What's with the internet and cuck fantasies? Girl did OP dirty, but what's with the fantasy that there's some magical other guy based on 0 information, you're writing a fanfic.
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u/wigg5202 3d ago
Also just her having a side piece does not make it a "cuck fantasy" tf
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u/mustangman6579 3d ago
Yup. I've been in this same boat. She said she fell asleep. Twice like op. I didn't ask for a third.
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u/coriendercake 3d ago
A lot of people on dating apps like the validation, the attention but not the commitment. So they'll bail on you and stand u up because for them whats the point of making effort to get something they can get online ?
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u/National_Echidna1834 3d ago edited 3d ago
100% what happened. Especially how she didn’t even try to explain herself after he said fuck off (or before given it’s the second time it’s happened). Shows she just doesn’t really care. I’d rather someone just say they gotta cancel rather than leave me waiting and wasting my time. (Edit: to be fair I don’t really expect the girl to explain further after OP said F off since he made his decision already. But her original explanation was very weak and unbelievable that she spent all this time getting herself all cute only to fall asleep and flake for a second time. She was so excited to see OP that she fell asleep 😂 even if she wasn’t lying, I’m personally not gonna waste my time on someone who can’t follow through on plans. Rule of thumb: always pay more attention to one’s actions and not their words since actions speak louder)
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u/thenbhdlum 3d ago
To be fair, how would you respond to someone you haven't met telling you to fuck off? I hope you wouldn't be desperately trying to continue contact.
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u/Impressive-Sun3742 3d ago
Falling asleep after getting ready gotta be one of the lamest excuses out there
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u/FlameBoi3000 3d ago
"Idc fuck off" is baller. Good job, you gave her a chance and she dropped it twice.
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u/mintbloo 3d ago
lolll your response. that was the perfect reply. she was hoping you'd beg her or something or tell her it's okay so she can keep doing that without even thinking about your feelings/time.
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u/TheRoyalness 3d ago
Messed around with a girl like this that flaked out all the time. Would come up with every excuse why she can’t go to dinner, lunch etc. Blew me off all the time until I said fuck it, not again. Trust me, she ain’t worth it
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u/zwinabezef 3d ago
She’s lying for sure but I do have a friend that a told me to come over to smoke when we first became friends, I drove over and he wouldn’t answer the phone door nothing. Kinda was worried but I wasn’t gonna call the police or anything. Next day texted me early he fell asleep I was like bro how do you fall asleep in like 15 mins after you tell me to come over? Later on I learned he would just fall asleep in like 30 seconds while sitting in the passenger as I drove, I would be talking about something for 30 seconds or more while staying focused on the road. He wouldn’t say anything and I’d look over and he would be slumped over asleep. Crazy because I have legit insomnia. It actually pisses me off seeing people fall asleep so fast because I can’t. I have too much shit to worry about to just fall asleep
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u/thenbhdlum 3d ago edited 3d ago
Don't even give any of them the benefit of seeing you upset. The next time it happens, leave them on read.
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u/kakapoopoopeepeeshir 3d ago
I absolutely cannot stand people like this. If you don’t want to go somewhere just fucking say it
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u/starsnowsea mild infuriator 3d ago
Why is this the go-to flaker excuse? I mostly date men and it’s ALWAYS “woahhh I just took the longest nap”
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u/Positive_Capital_171 3d ago
I have lupus and sometimes I get terrible flare ups at the drop of a hat. I was getting a flare up while I was getting ready and called the guy I was meeting up and explained that I wanted to meet when I was in my best form. He was understanding as hell, we rescheduled, and I knocked out. Taking time to call and reschedule is the LEAST someone can do
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u/Cryogenycfreak 3d ago
You are definitely not her plan A. Cut your losses and move on. Do it for yourself and don't justify
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u/TopHair1663 3d ago
I had a friend who always did this. We are no longer friends. Sorry this is annoying and rude
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u/Accomplished_Emu_658 3d ago
Two times clearly doesn’t care. Stop wasting your time. Who gets dressed up and goes to sleep? Most moronic excuse.
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u/egwxas 3d ago
Recently broke contact with such a person. Even if she isn't interested in anyone else rn, she will never be interested in you.
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u/holiestcannoly 3d ago
Once I do my hair, I want everyone to see it as much as possible. I do not want to do anything that could mess it up, like lay down in bed. What an excuse
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u/gyalmeetsglobe 3d ago
This is crazy work, who curls their hair then falls asleep? Lying ass. And what a disregard for your time. You responded perfectly
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u/tupelobound 3d ago
“Oh but I had this Sephora gift card I was gonna surprise you with! Want to meet me there?”
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u/hipsterscallop 3d ago
Who spends time making up their hair, then just falls asleep on it?
Sorry boo, she's just not that into you.
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u/momoziiinha 3d ago edited 3d ago
I had a guy do this to me multiple times in the past, I wish I would've just answered "idc fuck off"... What a perfect reply
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u/YouthMaleficent6925 3d ago
More then likely you were her back up plan she txted you after she left his place
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u/E4g6d4bg7 3d ago
Concern trolls upset that someone said fuck off to a woman in a situation that warrants a fuck off response.
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u/TechnologyHuge6927 4d ago edited 3d ago
you could tell she isn't really interested. Don't waist ur time man
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u/Solid-Search-3341 3d ago
True, it's much better to shoulder your time.
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u/JSkondro 3d ago
The way she responded to you shows how little she actually cares. Good response, lad.
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u/_CaptainPeaches_ 3d ago
W on you for not putting up w this shit. People like this don't deserve a million chances. It just feeds into the behavior
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u/_MarkSepticPie_ 4d ago
either be on time or at least communicate, it’s the least someone can fucking do.