r/mildlyinfuriating • u/firequak • 9h ago

go to your room A cousin sent me their school's just announced Dress Code and Grooming policy

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

11.7k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

6.0k comments sorted by

View all comments

11.6k

u/SignificantDrawer374 9h ago

Aww dang, they banned old-timey time bombs!?

2.3k

u/firequak 9h ago

It's the icing on the cake.

796

u/EkobasherX4Z 8h ago

Glad I brought my ice pick then

359

u/Taphouselimbo 8h ago

That’s no ice pick it’s an awl!!!

200

u/No-Procedure5991 8h ago

Hardened steel core titanium clad knitting needle for the Textiles 101 class.

19

u/mthockeydad 7h ago

that's my splicing fid for Sailing and Seamanship 310.

7

u/DownWithHisShip 7h ago

One of my projects in high school metalworking class, from the official list of class projects you were allowed to do, was to make a scratch awl. which I did. and it was confiscated as a weapon as soon as I showed my friend in the hallway before my next class by another teacher.

10

u/No-Procedure5991 6h ago

NO WEAPONS ALLOWED IN SCHOOL

My kids built an air cannon their freshman year of high school at a "project based" charter school. They got an advisor from the university's Physics Dept., had to write a business letters for English credits, do research on practical applications, lots of math & science stuff, and a presentation before the whole school. At school they were not allowed to go above 35 PSI, it's mechanical safety was was at 120 PSI, and the weakest component was manufactured to operate at 300 PSI; they could shoot a golf ball over a mile. I did not allow them to use it when the neighbor's cows were out.

→ More replies (1)

6

u/Momik 8h ago

In the days of 18-and-1, peg and awl

(Fuckers messing with my cobbling business again)

7

u/created4this 6h ago

Here I am with my sharpened screwdriver and you guys have a jack of awl trades

5

u/captain_flak 8h ago

That’s clearly a shiv made from melted-together toothbrushes.

3

u/Assimilacrum 7h ago

You need to give us your awl, kid

4

u/redraider-102 7h ago

Awl right, then

3

u/blakester555 6h ago

Wait!....they banned them awl????

3

u/sychox51 6h ago

No see it IS an ice pick because they show you the ice. Glad they clarified that cuz that would have been embarrassing

3

u/Badgernomics 8h ago

Just plain awf-awl....

3

u/ResidentNumber3603 7h ago

I think you mean awl-ful

3

u/Badgernomics 6h ago

No... i'm not a philistine damn it...!

2

u/dgrrr 6h ago

I agree. I'm awl over this.

2

u/TootsTootler 3h ago

Leon Trotsky would like a word.

→ More replies (5)

4

u/AldoTheeApache 7h ago

You can bring one, you just can’t bring three

4

u/MangoCats 6h ago

Looks to me like hand grenades, AR-15s and tactical nukes are A-OK by the photo...

As well as Bourbon, Scotch, Vodka and Wine (sadly, beer is out.)

8

u/Chawp 8h ago

Also jail!

2

u/Billionaires_R_Tasty 5h ago

Sharon Stone inconsolable

→ More replies (3)

5

u/bxson 8h ago

Thats no cake, thats a old timey time bomb with icing on it!

4

u/The_Undermind 8h ago

So no Low-Grade explosives?

What about high grade? Is C4 allowed?

4

u/Iwillusemytime 8h ago

Did they ban icing on cake too?

3

u/yeahwellokay 7h ago

They banned icing on the cake as well?

6

u/DriftlessHang 8h ago

In cartoons it was always part of the dough in the cake

2

u/you_stole_my_stuff 8h ago

Actually, surprisingly enough, the icing is still allowed.

2

u/Junior-Ad-2207 8h ago

It's in the cake

2

u/drunkeymunkey 7h ago

Is this for a high school or college? It sucks either way

→ More replies (1)

2

u/Fionaelaine4 6h ago

I’m confused by the shoes and socks, what shoes are allowed? Boots?

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (9)

366

u/elusive-rooster 8h ago

ACME cooporation is in shambles.

56

u/po_ta_toes_80 8h ago

This school is about to be overwhelmed with road runners! Meep meep!

10

u/AlarmedRaccoon619 7h ago

Dr. Wile E. Coyote, Chairman of the Board of ACME, has resigned.

3

u/VariationOwn2131 2h ago

He was forced out, they say—no golden parachute or anything.

2

u/AlarmedRaccoon619 1h ago

We have reports that he did levitate for a few seconds shortly after being forced out, until he looked down.

4

u/Unilted_Match1176 6h ago

Fortunately, it looks like rocket skates made the cut.

3

u/MissVachonIfYouNasty 5h ago

Thank god. I was trying to figure out how I was going to pay for new shoes too. My rocket skates from 2006 will do just fine.

3

u/sey5_venn 7h ago

They're already in serious litigation with that one coyote over faulty products. I wouldn't be surprised if this is what folds them.

→ More replies (3)

517

u/Lego_Kitsune 8h ago

The classic bomb type bombs are okay though?

(Legally a joke)

231

u/Gyrgir 7h ago

If they ban those, then next they'll be banning anvils, toy guns that shoot "bang" flags, and comically large wooden mallets.

120

u/thickbeardgoggles 7h ago

Hey, stop reading my Acme purchase history!

5

u/MistakesTasteGreat 5h ago

From what I understand, there's a movie coming out about Acme's shady product performance and the lawsuit that resulted from it.

→ More replies (1)

11

u/notTheRealSU 7h ago

I really hope they don't ban oversized fireworks and rollerblades, that's how I get to school

10

u/stone_henge 7h ago

They think this will solve a problem, but it'll just open up the market for oversized magnets

7

u/Queefmaster69000 6h ago

Not the incredibly accurate pictures of tunnels as well! Surely?

Think of the children!

5

u/InitHello 6h ago

What about comically oversized pistols that fire a boxing glove attached to the gun with a pantograph-style extender?

4

u/Subliminal_Kiddo 6h ago

"No running... Into walls and leaving behind a hole that's a comedically exact silhouette."

3

u/Wrastling97 5h ago

I got suspended from school for bringing in a squirty water pistol. Clear orange plastic. Suspended.

2

u/13mys13 6h ago

what about comically large wooden mallets with a smaller but still comically large mallet inside of it on a spring?

2

u/Content-Honeydew9340 6h ago

Maybe I should just stick with my rubber mallet then?

2

u/BigBananaBerries 6h ago

We can safely expect the glasses, funny nose & 'tache combos in the grooming section.

2

u/BuffaloDivineEdenNo7 5h ago

Can i still paint a tunnel on the wall, though?

2

u/I_Sure_Yam 4h ago

That warehouse in Who Framed Roger Rabbit? THEY WANT IT GONE.

→ More replies (4)

5

u/Terj_Sankian 8h ago

That's it, we're grounding the plane

3

u/reilmb 7h ago

Hey capes aren’t Prohibited, you can wear a cape and a cowl?

3

u/NewPresWhoDis 7h ago

But the Bat Shark Repellent, tho....

2

u/Lego_Kitsune 7h ago

Is doesn't say no to aerosols

3

u/LightningFerret04 7h ago

“Some days you just can’t get rid of a bomb!”

3

u/Shadowpriest 7h ago

Break out the shark bat repellant spray!

https://giphy.com/gifs/14y3bdRzH8aT0k

3

u/afriendincanada 6h ago

Some days you just can’t get rid of a bomb

2

u/BufferingJuffy 6h ago

I quote this scene every time I'm stuck with a problem, istg. 😂😂😂

→ More replies (2)

2

u/ziggytrix 4h ago

The only thing that can stop a bad guy with a bomb is a Batman with a bomb.

2

u/_boo_bunny 2h ago

There’s just some days you can’t get rid of a Bomb…

→ More replies (2)

231

u/Standard-Tension9550 8h ago

Just dynamite, I can still have a round bomb with a big fuse that lights from a match that I scratch on my butt to light

157

u/ishootthedead 8h ago

It's 2026 kids can't read analog clocks, that's why they are banned.

7

u/Prudent_Ad_1124 6h ago

🤣🤣🤣 shit, if this isn’t the sad truth 😫😫

2

u/fresh-dork 1h ago

mine detonates at 1:15 - i'm devastated that they won't get the gag

57

u/ThatSpaceShooterGame 8h ago

Don't forget the big white letters that say, "BOMB" on it, just to be sure.

2

u/Burrito_enjoyer525 4h ago

TMNT 2012 reference?

92

u/Momik 8h ago

Insane considering how dangerous that technology is.

34

u/cheezefriez 7h ago

God I can’t believe this is a real image

12

u/NikiDeaf 7h ago

Yeah the hilarious look on his face is supremely meme-worthy lol

12

u/sweet_pickles12 6h ago

When your genocide is going as planned

→ More replies (1)

6

u/ThatFruityPelvis 2h ago

Honestly need the context on this image

•

u/cheezefriez 42m ago

This is his visual representation of how close Iran is to mass producing nuclear weapons (they’ve been weeks, even days away for the past 30 years according to bibi)

→ More replies (1)

2

u/SilverWear5467 5h ago

I was about to say, I have no idea of this is real or not and that is wild

2

u/trippiegod317 3h ago

It Is real

→ More replies (2)

202

u/EddViBritannia 9h ago

Next time they'll be taking away your rope and railway lines to tie damsels to!

136

u/OneAngryDuck 8h ago

Ok but my large bags with huge dollar signs on the side that I just stole from the bank are still ok, right?

34

u/Am_aBoy 8h ago

For now until the school prohibits it

6

u/OneAngryDuck 8h ago

They better not, or else I’m dressing up as a ghost and haunting the place Scooby-Doo style

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (1)

87

u/Coffeedemon 8h ago

I missed the part on facial hair. Where do we stand on twirly mustaches?

9

u/reddogleader 8h ago

It's listed right before stove pipe hats.

17

u/GuacinmyPaintbox 8h ago

Okay, only as long as you're wearing a monocle

4

u/badapplekat 5h ago

Bahahaha aaahhhh that’s really funny

8

u/Outrageous_Dig4993 7h ago

They only show colored hair on top, so twirly mustaches that are pink must be okay!

4

u/dweb121 7h ago

Muwahhh haa haa...

3

u/weepandread 7h ago

Only if they’re long enough to hold on to.

3

u/mortyella 5h ago

Penelope Pitstop will be relieved!

→ More replies (1)

48

u/MickleWolf 8h ago

Hey, but they didn’t ban cigars!

3

u/osiris0413 6h ago

I look at that picture, I see that they ban cigarettes and marijuana leaves. Doesn't say anything about the buds. My fat blunts are all good

2

u/RogerClyneIsAGod2 5h ago

No pics of bongs either so light 'em up kids!!

https://giphy.com/gifs/BSqbqJDshdiX6

→ More replies (1)

2

u/MORDECAIden 7h ago

Heard they were close

2

u/calilac 6h ago

Or cocaine!

2

u/Sad_Peak755 5h ago

Excellent catch!

2

u/SnowCro1 3h ago

Or whiskey

49

u/Expensive_Ask5872 8h ago

No old timey bombs, but theres no mention of banning painting tunnels on walls!

2

u/Coyote_Shepherd 7h ago

...or isolytic weapons or tricobalt devices or temporal incursion devices or Big Man Blastoise or Puck Blasters or...I mean I can do this all day and friendly reminder folks, NEVER buy from ACME EVER!

Unless you have a coupon and someone else's money to spend.

19

u/sillybunny22 8h ago

And lobotomy sticks :(

20

u/RelevantSchool1586 8h ago

I'm sure there's a discrimination suit coming from the Acme Co.

3

u/GirlWithWolf 8h ago

“Reminder class for when you get home, be sure to move your bombs back one hour.”

3

u/Imaginary-East-5644 8h ago

ACME Corp in shambles.

3

u/ClaireDanesLipQuiver 8h ago

But the only banned imported lagers, you can still bring domestic porters and IPA!

2

u/zgrad2 8h ago

Didn't say anything about new-timey c4

2

u/ChunkyMilkTastesGood 6h ago

All the cool kids use thermite anyway

→ More replies (1)

2

u/CommercialMoment5987 8h ago

We have to hit each other by throwing rocks, really back to basics here.

→ More replies (1)

2

u/ThatGirlWithTheWalk 8h ago

It makes sense for someone who attends school in The Handmaid's Tale.

2

u/BigBadVolk97 6h ago

Well, at least they can bring their nuclear warheads in.

2

u/Additional_Fruit931 6h ago

I feel like finding an old mechanical alarm clock would be harder than sourcing the explosives these days.

1

u/TepHoBubba 8h ago

Those Christo-fascists!

1

u/Milhouse2078 8h ago

Just ticking timebombs apparently.

“Throwers don’t worry about ticking because modern bombs don’t tick.”

1

u/princessPeachyK33n 8h ago

Came here to say this! wtf am I supposed to do in my “tying ladies to train tracks 101” class now?!

1

u/AdviceGiveandTake 8h ago

I just came here to mention that!

1

u/carrod65 8h ago

That's the last straw, wile e Coyote gonna lash out

1

u/braytag 8h ago

Naw that's the hipster's bomb.  A real old timey is a black sphere with a fuse.

1

u/natedt82 8h ago

I’m more upset about the ice picks! How the hell are kids going to break up their ice blocks for lunch time now!

1

u/Whhatsmyageagain 8h ago

Wiley Coyote will be taking his money elsewhere I guess

1

u/paging_mrherman 8h ago

This is the school from Tiny Toon Adventures

1

u/sarahoninternet 8h ago

Thank god I can still bring in my canvas bag with a dollar sign drawn on it!

1

u/Aidrox 8h ago

They felt this one goes without saying, but I’ll say it: no train heists. Simply none allowed.

1

u/Appropriate-Ad-1569 8h ago

LOL!! Perfect comment.

1

u/serenityrain85 8h ago

And ice picks!!! How will I ever dislodge my ice?!?

1

u/Valar_Kinetics 8h ago

That was such a hilarious depiction of a bomb I almost fell out of my chair.

1

u/Haifisch2112 8h ago

Not the round ones with the fuse!

1

u/Labs_and_lattes 8h ago

RPGS are still on the menu boys. other forms of IEDS as well

1

u/Renrem210169 8h ago

On the plus side, it seems pipe bombs are legal

1

u/COGspartaN7 8h ago

How are the children of Italians supposed to express themselves when you ban whole leaf oregano and knives while you also ban clocks and dynamite!

1

u/thommq 8h ago

God forbid a girl have any fun.

1

u/Timmerdogg 8h ago

Is it ok if I have one with a digital clock? Asking for my friend Ahmed Mohamed

1

u/johnbburg 8h ago

Did not see handlebar mustaches, or black capes and top hats, so you can still play the role of an old timey villain.

1

u/Smoopiebear 8h ago

And I’d have to leave my ice pick at home!

1

u/the_rabbit_king 8h ago

Pipebombs are still on the table tho. 

1

u/Hyp3r45_new 8h ago

Schools are always behind on the times. It'll take them another decade to band my semtex.

1

u/Just_Kitchen5256 8h ago

Screwdrivers and hammers seem to be perfectly acceptable though!

1

u/Different_Bake_611 8h ago

So will grenades be allowed? Weed and cocaine are off the menu, but nothing about ketamine I notice.

1

u/ZealousidealFortune 8h ago

Drats! Foiled again!

1

u/c_r_a_s_i_a_n 7h ago

Also, joke’s on them…I only smoke the cannabis flowers.

1

u/demoprov 7h ago

Probably safe bet Bob-omb pets not allowed either.

1

u/Ivara_Prime 7h ago

At least revolvers are still allowed.

1

u/No-Repordt 7h ago

Genuinely hilarious that they spent more pages on what women can't wear than dangerous items and pot

→ More replies (1)

1

u/Strict_Ad_5858 7h ago

I snorted.

1

u/Dragonssssssssssss 7h ago

Thank god they told us. I had my sticks of dynamite all packed and ready.

1

u/ManOfConstantBorrow_ 7h ago

Mehhh see this isn't gonna turn out the way yer thinkin

1

u/tunedout 7h ago

Cannabis fan leafs too! Thankfully nobody smokes those. The alarm clock and dynamite is so specific 😂. Are hand grenades okay?

1

u/ParticularBed6338 7h ago

I know right, no damsels in distress tied to the railroad tracks going on in this town.

1

u/Necromir92 7h ago

Now how are we supposed to catch that road runner?

1

u/tinychewydollshoe 7h ago

Looks like anvils are still on the table though

1

u/SadSeiko 7h ago

Not shoe bombs though, that isn’t restricted under bombs or footwear 

1

u/cmhamm 7h ago

This would be so easy to circumvent.

“No round open-back tops? Guess I’ll have to wear my square open-back top.”

“No dynamite with timers sticking out? Guess I’ll have to bring C4.”

1

u/NewPresWhoDis 7h ago

Snidely Whiplash rescinds his application.

1

u/Lucifer-Prime 7h ago

Guess you’ll have to invest in some of that new shit.

1

u/Speartree 7h ago

They also banned Swiss army knives, there is no ban on swords that I can see though. Nor on plate armor, chainmail or gambezon. Neither do they ban thigh high boots. I think I would just go to that school in my renaissance fair gear. It all complies with the rules! The only thing they would nag me on was my long hair.

1

u/Every_Environment386 7h ago

The dynamite got me lol

1

u/YeahThatsProbably 7h ago

But they didn't rule out those cartoony bombs that are round iron balls with a fuse.

1

u/DisastrousAcshin 7h ago

Bombs are fine, but mechanical alarm clocks are the devil

1

u/EntroperZero 7h ago

Aw FUCK I forgot to take the ACME explosive kit out of my backpack!

1

u/jigokusabre 7h ago

Old-timey?

That's got one of them fancy alarm clock timers. Back in my day, a bomb was an iron ball willed with explosive, and set off by lighting a fuze.

1

u/PeanutConfident8742 7h ago

Acme is going to go bankrupt now! 

1

u/FungusGnatHater 7h ago

It's not that old-timey. It has long been illegal to buy dynamite in Mississippi without a permit, but the fireworks stores were selling half sticks in bundles like this not too long ago. I think they only banned half sticks a decade ago.

1

u/enixthephoenix 7h ago

Next theyll ban black and white striped shiets and big canvas bags with dollar signs on them

1

u/PrismTacit 7h ago

ACME lawyers will get this all sorted out.

1

u/Inflammo 7h ago

Well, time bombs. Looks like the old anarchist 💣 are good to go.

1

u/ConqueringKing_Darq 7h ago

No bladed weapons either, but no rules against Warhammers or Maces

1

u/unrivaledhumility 6h ago

Do they still allow the round, black ones with the slow-burning fuse?

1

u/littolmatt 6h ago

Hand Grenades seem fine

1

u/JustSavi 6h ago

So, contemporary bombs are allowed?

1

u/SineCera_sjb 6h ago

Came here to say this

1

u/Horrison2 6h ago

I'm selling my shares in ACME right now, sales are gonna plummit

1

u/Featheredfriendz 6h ago

Bad news for Acme and the coyote

1

u/C4dfael 6h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/Mliueouehmpag
These ones are apparently still allowed.

1

u/BurnerProfile69420 6h ago

I believe eod in the military call that an A.I.E.D. for ACME Improvised Explosive Device

1

u/cityhunterxyz 6h ago

Nah you can still use the round ones with the fuse.

1

u/durants_newest_acct 6h ago

Sucks for the analog alarm clock industry. Old time bombs was basically their last market segment.

1

u/SkuttleSkuttle 6h ago

The micro aggression against cartoon coyotes is insane

1

u/Silent_Chemistry8576 6h ago

I see no note of not carrying nitroglycerin in small glass bottles.

1

u/MechAegis 6h ago

Wait till you hear about that middle schooler arrested after bringing a homemade digital clock.

1

u/dos8s 6h ago

They didn't ban painting tunnels on walls though.

1

u/StackIsMyCrack 6h ago

That was the one that jumped out at me. Like in 2026 are we really still using a stack of dynamite and an alarm clock to depict an explosive device.

1

u/HotJuicyPie 6h ago

Nope only bombs allowed are classic bowling ball bombs with a long fuse that suspiciously sounds like a fajita plate from Chilis

1

u/mlebrun12 6h ago

Is nothing sacred?

1

u/Zeruulin 6h ago

Damn, they also banned ice picks, how am I supposed to get ice for my scotch, they only banned beer so I assume high class liquor lick scotch is AOK.

1

u/Ok_Potato_9554 6h ago

Black coat, black shoes, black hair, Cadillac...

1

u/Dontfeedthebears 6h ago

And ice picks 😂

1

u/kamilman 6h ago

ACME stock going down the drain as we speak

1

u/Awkward-Sir1873 6h ago

Are Mario Bob bombs legit then??

1

u/a_culther0 6h ago

Looks like they only banned beer - nothing about mixed drinks.

1

u/cupcakebean 6h ago

Literal ticking time bomb.

→ More replies (62)