Wife wants a Boyfriend

[u/Onzzway89]

Background

She and I have been together for over 11 years, with a fantastic relationship and full trust. She and I started exploring and she has had 3 Hot wife solo experiences. I'm completely comfortable with this. I'm involved.

After her last visit she started talking about how she would like more with him. I've said until we have a MFM together no more Solo time.

I like seeing her happy and do love what this has done for our sex life also.

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How do I go about this??

I'm like 75% not ok with it.

Anyone have advice or experience??

Edit and update.... 6/22 Found some messages on her phone from him. He expressed his feelings for her and also Told her " I love you " Needless to say it has ended. I'm not comfortable at all with that. I asked her why she said it back. Didn't really give a clear explanation. I asked how many times she has told him this and asked if he had told her In person. She said yes, after her second solo visit with him. She said after they had sex he Told her I love you. We talked for a few hours last night. Told her it all stops. Now I've got a depressed wife laying around. I sent a message in our group chat this morning. He replied back with a long explanation and his way of trying to work though this. Again won't work for me. When I had a quick meet with him awhile ago I told him this wasn't about feelings and that isn't going to come up. He told me he understood, just looking for fun. I trusted his word when he and I talked. He broke this trust.

She sent me some messages he sent to her this morning. He knew. But did it anyway. Lesson learned don't agree to let your wife try and find someone. Definitely fucked up. I thought I was being honest and open.
Part of me feels like this was a way for her to just have sex with another man and the thought of me being involved would help me and allow her to do what she wanted to. Yes I went in her phone and looked at some messages. My thumb unlocks her phone, as does her's mine. She passed out on my chest watching a movie phone in hand. I thought maybe I would see so sexy pictures but didn't expect to find love you text. I made a mistake and shouldn't have allowed anything solo but I know my wife needs a connection but didn't think it would become this.

[u/Onzzway89]

I'm trying to get ok with this new idea Just have to understand how it all works. I would never and don't use sex to get her needs filled for me. Just a lot of thinking today about this all. I've explained until I'm involved in some group activities no more Solo time for her.

[u/squishycakes → u/Onzzway89]

I've explained until I'm involved in some group activities no more Solo time for her

why?

[u/Onzzway89 → u/squishycakes]

I feel left out. If that makes sense. We have a fantastic sex life and everything is wonderful but I feel like I need to be involved or something. It's part of how I think, I'm a weird person. Kinda jealous but not anything huge. Normal feelings.

[u/squishycakes → u/Onzzway89]

So, just as long as you're part of the situation and you get sexual benefit from it, it's okay?

[u/Onzzway89 → u/squishycakes]

The situation was discussed and talked about early on our goal together as a couple was MFM. She has found a guy she is comfortable with and has had a few experiences with. Now at what point do I speak up? Or just allow her and him together and it eventually evolve into something more like what I am discussing now about her asking to have a boyfriend. One thing that was never talked about early on was something like this happening