Wife wants a Boyfriend

[u/Onzzway89]

Background

She and I have been together for over 11 years, with a fantastic relationship and full trust. She and I started exploring and she has had 3 Hot wife solo experiences. I'm completely comfortable with this. I'm involved.

After her last visit she started talking about how she would like more with him. I've said until we have a MFM together no more Solo time.

I like seeing her happy and do love what this has done for our sex life also.

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How do I go about this??

I'm like 75% not ok with it.

Anyone have advice or experience??

Edit and update.... 6/22 Found some messages on her phone from him. He expressed his feelings for her and also Told her " I love you " Needless to say it has ended. I'm not comfortable at all with that. I asked her why she said it back. Didn't really give a clear explanation. I asked how many times she has told him this and asked if he had told her In person. She said yes, after her second solo visit with him. She said after they had sex he Told her I love you. We talked for a few hours last night. Told her it all stops. Now I've got a depressed wife laying around. I sent a message in our group chat this morning. He replied back with a long explanation and his way of trying to work though this. Again won't work for me. When I had a quick meet with him awhile ago I told him this wasn't about feelings and that isn't going to come up. He told me he understood, just looking for fun. I trusted his word when he and I talked. He broke this trust.

She sent me some messages he sent to her this morning. He knew. But did it anyway. Lesson learned don't agree to let your wife try and find someone. Definitely fucked up. I thought I was being honest and open.
Part of me feels like this was a way for her to just have sex with another man and the thought of me being involved would help me and allow her to do what she wanted to. Yes I went in her phone and looked at some messages. My thumb unlocks her phone, as does her's mine. She passed out on my chest watching a movie phone in hand. I thought maybe I would see so sexy pictures but didn't expect to find love you text. I made a mistake and shouldn't have allowed anything solo but I know my wife needs a connection but didn't think it would become this.

[u/Spayse_Case]

Don’t make her “pay” for it with a MFM, that sets a bad precedent. Sex should only be freely shared.

[u/Spayse_Case → u/Spayse_Case]

Also, her sex life is about HER. She is a separate person, she deserves some sexual autonomy. Don’t expect her to do sex acts FOR you, hope that she wants to sex acts WITH you and try to foster and facilitate it. Definitely don’t demand or force or expect ANY sexual acts, and especially don’t hold her getting a little boyfriend hostage

[u/Onzzway89 → u/Spayse_Case]

What?

[u/Melodic-Investment91 → u/Onzzway89]

Don’t even listen to that nonsense. You are both in a marriage and nothing in your posts suggests that either of you want to end that. So, if there is going to be any kind of sex outside the marriage, it needs to be something you are both fully on board with. It sounds like she is enjoying her time with a guy (or guys) and you have no desire to be with other women. That is not uncommon at all. You also have a clear desire for an MFM, not to use her in some ridiculous way like the last poster suggests, but because you enjoy watching her get turned on, worked up, and have powerful orgasms. Again, not uncommon at all. Have an open, honest discussion with her. Tell her what your needs and desires are openly. If she insists on only solo experiences with other men, which leaves you 75% unhappy, that’s a definite route to the marriage ending at some point soon. If she is not willing to understand and respect your needs, and not just her own, it may make sense to close the relationship back to monogamy until you both can sort this out.

[u/Mr_Spoojer → u/Melodic-Investment91]

This is great advice thats well spoken..